Stay with me
by FantasyLiving94
Summary: Sweet and Innocent, Anastasia Steele is starting a new college with her whole life planned out ahead of her. What happens when different worlds collide and her world gets turned completely upside down. A rollercoaster of emotions are felt and dealt with. But what happens in the end? Only you can find out!
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

My heart races as I prepare myself for my first day of a new college. My morning alarm starts to ring on my bedside table, but I've already been up and pacing for the last 3 hours, anxious to start my first day with the feeling my heart could possibly come pounding out of my chest.

" Annie! Breakfast is ready" I hear my Dad call from the bottom of the stairs.

"Coming" I sound back as I move to my mirror to take in my appearance.

Do people dress the same here?

What if no one likes me?

What if I hate it here?

Are all panic ideas that run through my head as I look over my casual outfit, A simple white dress with a denim jacket and my white converse.

I pull my hair up into my usual low ponytail letting it fall to the middle of my back. Although most girls my age wear a ton of makeup, I, however, do not. Once I give myself a small confident nod into the mirror, I grab my white backpack from my bed and makes my way downstairs.

"Morning Dad" I smile giving him a small kiss to his cheek.

"Morning sweetheart, All excited for your first day?"

I give him the most nervous look and shakes my head, "I'm excited about classes, but I'm not exactly the most confident or most sociable person in the world when it comes to other college kids… what if they don't like me? They've already done one year here at campus, the friendship groups have already been made…" I sigh, "What if I don't fit in?".

"Oh sweetheart, I know it's daunting and scary but I promise you're going to be just fine…there's nothing not to love about you, Just keep your focus on your work and future and the rest will fall into place" He smiles reassuringly placing a kiss to the top of my head as he hands me a cup of tea. "Thanks, Dad" I move both my hands around the cup giving him a small smile as I take a sip.

After breakfast, I make my way down the road to College. As it's only a 15-minute walk from the house I decided against staying in the Dorms and staying with my Dad.

If it's even possible my heart starts to pound even more as it comes into view. I see groups of students walking around, Greeting each other, hugging each other after the summer break. Friendship groups already made as I said before, I bite my lip, shoving my earphones into my ears, letting the music calm my nerves.

Snow Patrol starts to play lightly into my head as I make my way across the street, focussing on my nerves I step out to cross the road, unable to see around the parked car, I edge out a little further before jumping for my life as a black Prius speeds its way around the corner before slamming the breaks on right in front of me. The wheels screeching against the ground as it comes to an immediate stop. I didn't think it was possible for my heart to pound any faster than it already was, but it happened. I stand there like a deer in the headlights as my chest rises and falls staring at the car that's barely centimetres away from my legs. I watch in slow motion as the car door opens a figure emerges, brows furrowed in anger, eyes slit in annoyance as his fist grips the top of his car.

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?! ARE YOU FUCKING BLIND?! YOU COULD HAVE FUCKED MY WHEELS!"

His wheels? He cares about his wheels?

He almost just ran me over with the illegal speed he was driving and he's worried about his damn wheels?

My anger rises inside of me but my panic is still consuming my body as I look at him with worry. His stare is intense and I step back away from the car nervously muttering, "S.. ".

"Yeah, you fucking will be if I need new wheels! Look where you're damn going next time!" He starts to move back into his car as I hear him mumble, "Fucking stupid Freshman".

Freshman? FRESHMAN?!

Great first interaction Ana. I scold myself internally as I watch the car speed on. I continue to make my way up to the entrance, feeling even more agitated after my near-death experience before even making it through the doors.

As I see the reception sign in sight, I make my way over, playing my fingers together in front of me trying to calm my shaking hands, "Hi…I'm new here and I'm not too sure where I'm meant to be going?" The receptionist smiles as she takes my details before handing over my schedule and a map of the school. She starts to explain everything to me, My class numbers, my schedule, she briefly explains the map but it's so much to take in I'm barely remembering anything she said.

"Thank you…" I smile appreciatively anyway and I move down the corridor a little leaning against the wall to take a better look at my information.

Journalism, Room 128

English Literature, Room 50

During this time the Bell rings signalling first class and I realise I'm already late, I hate being late on a regular day, but today, it's my first day and I'm already making a bad impression by being late. I feel the panic run through my veins as I stare down at this stupid map in frustration. I can't figure out where the hell I'm meant to be going. I turn it to the left, I look down the hall. I turn it to the right and look down the hall. I even turn it upside down and look down the hall.

"This is useless" I grumble to myself sighing.

"Are you Anastasia?" A sweet voice behind me sounds and I turn to look. A girl, blonde hair cut short just below her shoulders, handbag on her elbow, binder against her chest, a bright smile on her face letting her lipstick glow.

I nod softly, "Yeah...I uhh… It's Ana" I smile softly at her.

"Perfect! I was hoping I'd meet you here! My names Kate, I'm student body president and I'll help you around" She smiles offering her hand, making my lips curl into a grateful smile. I take her hand shaking it thankfully.

"Oh my gosh, Thankyou…I never thought I'd find my classes, It's so big here compared to my last College" I say as she takes my schedule and she gives a small nod as she looks it over.

"English Lit and Journalism? Wow, girl, you've taken on some work" She smirks, "We have Journalism together as that's my major too, and when you're at English Lit, I'll be in business, so after that I can meet you and maybe give you a little tour of other things later during a free period?" She smiles handing me back my schedule.

"That sounds amazing, thank you so much" She links my arm with hers as we make our way down the hall.

This is weird, I think to myself.

I've never had someone be nice enough to take me under their wing before, but gladly, we walk into our first class. Luckily she manages to get us seats together and I'm starting to feel a little more at ease. First class goes by pretty quickly, they explain what we'll be doing through the semesters, I take notes with my new notepad and pens, they talk about the exams and essays and what will be expected of us, but before I've had time to really take it in the bell rings and Kate turns to smile at me as she starts packing away her things.

"First day is always pretty slow and lame, all the classes will be like this today, the usual what's expected of us, what we'll be doing blah blah" she laughs softly, "It kicks up a little further into the year" She smiles moving her handbag onto her elbow before slipping her arm through mine. "I'll walk you to your English Lit class before I head to business".

"Thank you, I really appreciate it".

"No need to thank me, I think we're going to be really good friends" She smiles.

Really? Friends?

I've never really had friends before. Not real ones anyway. I was always the nerdy one, The book worm. The person people would come to for homework help. Try to pay me to do their assignments, you know them, well, I was that girl.

We arrive at the door of my English Literature class pulling me from my old College thoughts.

"Here we are!" She smiles, "I'll meet you for the free period and show you around a little and then after that, we can head for some lunch, you can come and sit with us and meet the others" She smiles brightly.

"Sounds perfect, Thank you again for everything Kate you've been amazing, I'll see you later".

She makes her leave and I enter into the class. I scan the room looking for a spare seat and my heart drops as I see a similar face. Brows still furrowed in annoyance, as he sits there in a plain white t-shirt, jeans, converses and is slouched back into the chair as if someone has forced him to be here.

It's the guy that almost ran me over this morning. This is going to be a long class, I sigh to myself as I make my way through the rows of seats and deciding on one near the front, hoping not to gain attention from anyone. But as I walk towards my chosen spot, His eyes find me and narrow before looking away back to his iPhone screen.

What the hell is his problem?

He almost hit me! Not the other way around! I internally scream at myself but soon I calm myself as I pull out my notebook and pens, gaining a laugh from somewhere over my shoulder. I turn to look and I realise it's him.

He's laughing at me?

Apparently being prepared for a new college and a new class makes me a laughing stock, but honestly? I'm not bothered, clearly, he doesn't care about his education. I'll find a future with this major. He'll probably end up flipping burgers at a diner or something.

A woman soon enters the room moving to stand right at the front. A black formal dress. Very formal. Black shiny heels, which I swear are designer. Her blonde hair is perfectly shaped and her makeup immaculate.

"Good morning class, My name is Elena Lincoln as most of you already know, but we have a new student starting with us today" She looks at me with a smile and my cheek's blush a bright pink. I hate attention. I feel all eyes on me and I just want to crawl into a hole and die.

"Miss Steele, I hope you've settled in well so far", I nod slightly with a small nervous smile and I'm extremely thankful when she finally turns back to the whole class to begin the lecture.

It goes by quickly once again. The talk of Pride and Prejudice, Wuthering Heights and Northanger Abbey, excites me beyond explanation. I always figured I was born in the wrong era and I'm still an old fashioned girl at heart. I would willingly choose a life back in those days to living in this modern world now.

I'm Taken out of my daydream as the bell chimes through the room and I collect my things making my leave, only to find Kate waiting for me.

"Hey newbie, I finished early so figured I'd come to find you and show you around".

"Thanks, Kate" My smile grows.

"How was it?"

"It was good, Probably my favourite so far, I have such a love for the old fashioned books you know?" She smiles nodding in understanding and soon we're getting pushed apart as someone barges between us almost sending Kate backwards into the wall.

"Seriously Christian?! Why are you such an asshole?"

He simply laughs sarcastically and looks at Kate, "Why are you still such a stuck up bitch?"

He continues his walk up the hall, Kate rolls her eyes in frustration.

"He's such a jerk, That is Christian Grey, Don't expect to get friendly with him because it won't happen...Ever..."

I laugh shaking my head, "Oh don't worry I don't plan on it, he almost ran me over this morning" "Black Prius?" she says expectantly and I nod,

" Yeah, He came speeding around the corner and then blamed me...Told me I could have ruined his wheels", I gain a laugh from Kate and My smile grows as I laugh with her.

"He's a Dick and he will never ever change" She rolls her eyes linking our arms once again as we make our way through the halls. "He's my boyfriend's younger brother…. According to Elliot, he's always been an angry child and I guess that hasn't changed as he's got older either… Elliot also said that as a child he never used to speak, but now he's quite the confident asshole you've witnessed so far" She smirks teasingly making me giggle.

"All the girls swoon over him, something about the angry bad boy image they all seem to love…I don't see it myself but just pre-warning in case you catch the Christian fever too" She nudges me jokingly and I laugh.

"Oh my goodness, no way…Honestly, I find him a little intimidating… I guess if you're into that type..of guy I could see the attraction...but Definitely no swooning from me, I promise" I laugh as we walk with linked arms down the halls.

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So for those of you that read my recent publishing 'Into You'. I decided to take it down and change it around a little for various reasons. I've had a few more Ideas that I wanted to include and decided to change some of the storyline. I hope this doesn't cause an issue and I hope my new publishing, for those that read the old version, will be just as great and I hope you continue to review, follow and enjoy this version.

For any new readers, welcome, I hope you enjoy! Please review with any likes, loves, concerns, criticisms. I appreciate all feedback and take advice on board willingly.

Thankyou!


	2. Chapter 2

Kate showed me around campus during all of our free periods together. The day flew by and I was grateful she took me under her wing. She escorts me into the Cafeteria just in time for lunch and guides me to a table already filled with people.

"Everyone, This is Ana…She's new here so be nice" She smirks to the others around the table and they all give a small wave offering Hello's as I take a seat next to Kate.

Everyone makes conversation with me, which honestly? is a big shock for me. This never happened to me back at my old College. I used to spend lunch alone in the library with my books and my earphones. I never fit in with anyone back at my old college. I never wore enough makeup to fit in with the popular girls, I wasn't sporty enough to join the cheerleaders. Everyone and everything at my old college were just, Different.

Jose, Hannah, Becca and Taylor all introduce themselves, as we dive into a conversation about our Major's and any extracurricular activities they're going to be taking this semester. It's strange, sitting here at this table. Every single person here seems so different, but yet, the friendship works. I can see how close of a friendship group they are based on their banter, in their smiles, in their conversations and I really can't believe I'm sat here apart of this.

"Hey baby" A mousy blonde guy grins at Kate as he takes the seat the other side of her capturing her lips into a kiss.

"Get a room!" I hear a few of the people around the table groan rolling their eyes teasingly at their display of affection.

"Oh shut up! Just because you're single man!" The blonde smirks tossing Jose his middle finger. "Elliot, this is Ana…she's the new girl I'm showing around…Ana…this is my boyfriend Elliot" She smiles and he offers her his hand to shake, which I take willingly.

"Nice to meet you, Elliot, Kate's told me about you already" I smile appreciatively.

"Oh, she has?" He smirks at Kate before looking back at me, "All good stories I hope" He says making me laugh.

"Did you invite her to my party this weekend?" His gaze moves to Kate.

"Oh gosh, I completely forgot! Ana, you should totally come, Elliot's parents are heading away for the weekend, so Mia, his sister has planned the best party…It's going to be huge! Parties at the Grey's are always so amazing…you should totally come!"

"I…uhh…"

Me? At a party? I hate the idea.

"We can get ready together! What dorm are you in?" Kate smiles and everyone around the table looks at me waiting for my answer and I just want to curl up into a ball from embarrassment as I feel their stare.

"I uh…I don't live at Campus, I'm still living at home with my Dad" I give a small smile as my voice comes out barely above a whisper.

"Oh…well, that's okay! You can come to my place and we can get ready together" She smiles reassuringly.

"You're more than welcome to come over to ours earlier to get ready too…Mia loves newbies and I'm sure she'd love to meet you" Elliot says as he takes a bite of his burger.

"Even better! I can pick you up and drive us both over there?" Kate looks at me excitedly and I bite my lip as my blood rapidly flows through my body nervously.

"I…I'm not sure, I've never been to a party, Not a big one anyway, It's not really my style…I also have nothing to wear and I work weekends at the coffee shop at the corner of town" I bite my lip nervously.

"Just think about it okay?" She smiles and I nod.

I will think about it. Maybe I should go. Maybe I shouldn't.

"I'll think about it" I smile and nod before standing, "I'm going to grab something to eat," I say as I make my way towards the counter gazing over at the menu board. I squint slightly as the board is so far behind the counter high up on the wall.

"Can't see cars, Can't see the board….Maybe you should try out the opticians". I hear a voice, My brows furrow slightly and I look to my right, but there's no one. I look to my left, But again there's no one.

"Oh, you're deaf too? Or just ignorant?" I hear the voice again and my eyes narrow as I turn on my heel. He's stood there, right behind me. His arms crossed over his chest, his t-shirt clinging against his collar bones. His jeans, tight and skinny all the way down to his ankles when they meet his converse. Keep it together Ana, he's an asshole. I remind myself.

"Excuse me?" I glare at him crossing my arms over my own chest, "Can you be any ruder?".

"I'm not the one holding up the damn line because I'm too blind to see the board". I glance behind him to see there is no one else waiting behind him.

"Okay, …1 there's no one even behind you! 2. If you want to go in front of me, then go ahead! 3. I am not blind" I grit in annoyance as I turn back towards the board, mumbling to myself, "Asshole".

But the mumbling to myself doesn't seem to work as I hear him laugh and say, "Yeah, I am".

"Is he bothering you?" Elliot says smirking looking at Christian then at me as his arm is around Kate's shoulders as they make their way to the counter together.

"I've done nothing, we were having a pleasant conversation," He says mockingly.

A pleasant conversation? HA! If you say so.

"I've beaten him up before if he bothers you, Ana, just give me a shout okay?" He smirks towards Christian making Kate and I laugh.

Brotherly banter I'm guessing?

"Yeah right, You couldn't even beat a fly…. Nice try though…Just remember how many guy's asses I've had to beat for you because you messed with their girls " Christian gives a wicked grin.

I feel a little awkward standing here between the 3 of them. Why am I even here?

"Hey…we all have pasts…I've found my girl now," Elliot says looking at Kate with a smile and pecks her lips which she willingly takes. Christian makes a gagging noise to tease them and honestly? It makes me laugh a little.

"Shut up Christian, You're such an ass" Kate scolds him and she rolls her eyes making her way back towards the table.

"So I keep getting told" Christian rolls his eyes before looking back at the board.

Elliot jabs Christian in the side before rushing off following Kate back to the table.

"Fucking hate it when he does that" I hear him groan as he looks down at his side where Elliot jabbed him, before looking back at me, then away again. I give a small smile and looks back at the board.

"So… I heard you're having a party? I mean…assuming you and Elliot live together?"

He laughs shaking his head, "No…Elliot is having a party. Just because I live there, doesn't mean I'm having a party" He says and I can't help but think he's a little annoyed.

"Oh..Okay…Sorry… I just uhh… assumed" I shrug pulling out my purse ready to pay.

"People always assume, and that's the problem," He says putting his sandwich down and walks off.

What did I do?

Was it something I said?

I watch him walk away and I can't help but feel a guilty even though I have no idea what happened, I move to the counter with my own sandwich. I stand there for a moment before looking at the sandwich Christian left there.

"Sorry, can I add this one too…" I say to the cashier with a smile.

"Sure…that's $12 altogether" I hand over the cash before picking up both sandwiches and two bottles of water and I take my leave through the school in search of the angry boy wandering the halls.

20 minutes pass and I can't seem to find him anywhere, I give in and admit my defeat, deciding that If I find him later, I'll give it to him then. I wander the halls a little further in an attempt to find the Cafeteria again but I hear a door open at the end of the hall and it's him. I go to walk towards him until another figure emerges out of the room behind him.

I stop in my tracks and watches curiously, he hasn't seen me and neither has she. She cups his cheek before taking a step further out towards him and I watch as the female brushes a tissue across his neck.

What the hell is she doing?

I squint my eyes trying to get a better look as I move into the side of the wall hoping they don't see me.

Isn't that?

Wait…. Black dress… shiny designer heels…isn't that? Mrs Lincoln.

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Thank you to everyone that has enjoyed and followed my story so far! I will be posting a few more chapters in the next couple of days so please stay tuned!

Also! Please Please review and comment and tell me what you like and dislike about the story so far. I really appreciate feedback! Thanks guys! Stay tuned for more!


	3. Chapter 3

So, My first week at College has gone pretty well. I've thoroughly enjoyed my classes, and yes I'm going to have a lot of work on my hands taking up two major's but, I think as long as I stay focussed, I can make it happen. I have put Christian and Mrs Lincoln to the back of my mind. It's none of my business and he already basically scolded me for assuming about the party, I don't want to make any more assumptions.

I've also been working hours at the coffee shop at the corner of College Street, trying to earn some money for when I graduate. My aim is to move to Seattle and hopefully get into publishing, so I need to start saving for my future. My dad has been amazing but College has already been so expensive, I feel a little guilty. I want to be able to put into my own future now. I want to become a little more independent.

Tonight is the night of the party and honestly, I'm not sure I'm going to go. It's not really my scene but, I have made amazing friends this week that are constantly on my back about going. I mean…What would I even wear?

I'm currently at work making coffee. It's a little quiet so I pull out my phone to see messages from Kate, Hannah and Jose all begging me to come tonight. I sigh biting my lip texting my Dad.

_'Dad, There's a party tonight, Is it okay if I go?'_

_'A party? Of course sweetheart…Just don't be home late, you know I worry'_

_'Thanks Dad, I know, I'll see you later xx'_

I smile at his text. I know I don't need to ask him can I go, I'm old enough. But I feel guilty somehow, It's been just the two of us for such a long time. I take the plunge and decide to go.

_'I have nothing to wear…any suggestions?_' I text Kate.

_'I HAVE PLENTY! Mia will too! Go home and shower and I'll pick you up at 5, I have the rest under control ;) '_

I can tell the excitement she feels just from reading her text.

Oh gosh, what have I done?

Time starts to go by pretty slowly when suddenly I'm a little surprised as the door opens and closes behind a familiar figure. He walks up to the counter and I give a small smile, suddenly feeling a little nervous.

"Hey…what can I…" I begin to say in my usual customer service tone but I'm soon cut short when he interrupts.

"Small coffee, black, keep the change" He puts down the money and moves to the newspapers. I roll my eyes and goes ahead to start making his drink. I look at him, really look at him. His slender body, his muscles pressing against his grey t-shirt. I don't know what comes over me but words end up rolling out of my mouth.

"Soo, will you be at the party tonight?" I watch as his brows furrow further and he turns his head to look at me.

"Obviously, It is where I live".

"Oh..well..yeah…I'll see you there then," I say as I place his coffee onto the counter. I look a little curious as his lips curl into a smirk and what I think is a small laugh escape his lips.

"You're going?….To the party?"

"And what is wrong with me going to the party?"

"You just don't seem the type" He laughs slightly, "You're the type of girl that doesn't belong at these types of parties".

"Oh really?" I start to grow a little angry, "and what type of girl am I?"

"I've known enough girls to know that you…don't drink, don't smoke, you're feisty and headstrong though, that I'll give you credit for... but, Parties? Definitely not your thing…Have you ever been drunk before?" He taps his fingers against the counter as he leans a little closer, intimidating me. I feel my hands start to shake and I play my fingers against each other. That's when I go quiet, My cheeks blush a pure bright crimson and I look down at my feet. I'm only silent for a moment but it seems like an eternity.

"I'll take the silence as confirmation….see you tonight, Anastasia".

He looks at me as he talks but I refuse to look at him, a little embarrassed. He is right, and I know he is. I know I'm not like normal college students, but I'm going to try with this one. This is the first time I've made real friends, the first time I've felt part of a group. He isn't going to make me change my mind.

I rush out to the back room thankful my shift has finally ended.

Why he is such a jerk?! Everyone else here is so lovely and caring! Except him!

Wait…why do I even care?!

I sigh looking at my phone debating if I should still go. He's getting to me and I shouldn't allow it.

After a quick shower, I grab a few things and hear Kate's horn outside.

"Ana!" She squeals wrapping her arms around me, "I didn't think you'd come!" I smile hugging her back before we climb into her car and we head off towards the house.

We drive about 10 minutes and reach a house with large gates which are already open to allow the party guests to enter.

My eyes widen as we head up the driveway.

"They live here?!" Kate laughs at my reaction.

"Isn't it beautiful?, Wait until you see the inside…and the party is usually in the garden with the pool" She grins as she climbs out of the car and I follow her lead.

I close the door behind me gazing up at the large house. It is huge and the most noticeable house in the area. As we approach the stairs at the entrance. I am surrounded by four columns leading to the most elegant doors I have ever seen. They are made of mahogany and have a stained glass window in the center.

I go to knock at the door but it opens before my hand comes into contact with it.

"Kate!"As squeal emerges from the small petite girl that comes hurling out of the doorway wrapping her arms around Kate.

"Mia! Oh my gosh, it's been so long! How was Paris?! You have so much to tell us! Ana...this is Mia...Mia... This Ana, she's just moved here and started at our College" Kate smiles introducing us.

Mia surprises me by wrapping her arms around me in a hug too.

"Oh my gosh, you are so pretty! I'm Mia…" She hugs me again and I laugh blushing at her compliment.

"It's nice to meet you, Kate and Elliot told me a lot about you already" I smile.

"Ana needs some help with outfits" Kate smirks at Mia, giving her a wink.

Oh, no…what have I done!

"Mia here is a fashion major, that's why she's been living it up in Paris for the last month making me all jealous!"Kate pouts teasingly and Mia laughs.

"I brought outfits back from Paris! I am totally dressing you two up tonight" She grins…"On one condition…." She looks to Kate, Kate smirks knowing what's coming.

"Cocktails?!"

"Yes!"

Mia escorts us upstairs and into her room not even allowing Elliot to give Kate a quick kiss before she whisks us off for a makeover.

"You can have her later when she's all hot and sexy now leave us girls get ready!" Mia grins at Elliot before closing the door.

"Drink?" Kate says looking up at me from the music player offering me a cup.

"I uh…I don't drink" I look a little embarrassed.

"What never?!"

I shake my head, "I've never tried…"

"Okay, just have one or two…I promise you a little alcohol will be fine, Just try it" Kate smiles offering me her cup. I stare at it just for a moment before taking a sip from it, and surprisingly, It's not so bad and I quite like the berry flavor. Mia makes me a cup of my own as Kate makes her way through Mia's wardrobe.

"This one" She pulls out a red dress and my nose scrunches at the low cut.

"Not really my type…" I bite my lip. She turns back to her wardrobe but Mia rushes over and pulls out a black cocktail style dress.

"Ooooh, your figure would be amazing in that Ana," Kate says excitedly.

My eyes gaze over the dress. It's shorter than my usual attire but It's a party, right?

"I love it," I say taking another sip from my drink, hearing exciting squeals escape both girls.

"we'll do your makeup and hair too, You're going to look amazing!" Kate smiles handing me the dress and I move into the en suite to dress into it.

"Wow…" Kate and Mia's eyes widen proudly.

"Does it look okay?" I bite my lip moving to the mirror.

"Okay?! Girl, It looks amazing on you!"

"Yeah, you look super Hot Ana!"

I look into the mirror and I'm shocked by my appearance. The dress hugs my curves and lands just above my knee with a sweetheart neckline.

"It's a beautiful dress Mia, thank you" I smile at her.

"Hey what's mine is yours, yours is mine…plus it's Paris's finest fabric" She grins proudly.

We all nod in agreement and my smile grows as I'm handed other drinks and my head starts to feel a little fuzzy. Fuzzy, but good fuzzy. An hour later Elliot knocks at the door wanting his girl.

Lights and music emit through the large gardens, I bite my lip nervously making my way inside the canopy following Kate, Elliot and Mia. There are so many people here already but I notice there's no sign of Christian. Good thing too!

We find ourselves sitting at the seating area near the fountains of the gardens. A beer pong table set up in the far end and I gaze it curiously, wondering what people use it for.

"Wow, Kate…who's your friend?" I hear the voice and I gaze around the small crowd already here before my eyes lay on a small guy sat on the bench, his hair slick and pointed slightly dark brown eyes. His lips are curled into a smirk as his eyes rake over my body making my cheeks blush.

"Come sit here beautiful" He gestures to the spare space beside him and Mia links arms with me shaking her head.

"thank you" I whisper my appreciation to her and she winks. She keeps her arm linked in mine until she sees Christian and goes speeding off the down the grass towards him.

"Christian!" I watch as she literally jumps on him and he laughs wrapping his arms around her and swings her slightly.

What the hell just happened?

Christian? Just…what?

"Elena! Hey!" Mia moves to hug her too.

Wait….do they know her? I look curious watching the scene in front of me and Kate laughs moving beside me as if she knows what I'm thinking.

"Christian is very protective of Mia…she's the only one he seems to act normal with… Mrs. Lincoln, your English lecturer is Mrs. Grey's Best friend, she lives next door" Kate watches as Elliot moves over greeting her too and the three of them chat for a moment.

See…all that assumption for nothing…just family friends. That's why they were friendly in the hall that day.

"It makes sense now" I smile and Kate grabs my hand taking me for another drink.

Christian, Mia, and Elliot move to us as Kate is pouring us drinks. Mrs. Lincoln seems to have left.

I smile as they finally reach us. Elliot moves to Kate kissing her deeply and when I look away I notice Christian's eyes on me.

He smiles softly and I return the gesture.

What is going on?

"Come Dance baby…" Elliot grins grabbing Kate by the waist and takes her to where the music is. Mia is off going around the crowds telling everyone about her time in Paris, leaving me standing there a little awkwardly.

"I guess parties are your thing after all Anastasia…" He says as he sips from his cup.

"Is that an actual compliment leaving your lips?" I smirk teasingly.

"I told you before not to assume Anastasia"

Wow…I'm a little drunk.

"My names Ana…"

He laughs.

"No, it's not its Anastasia…"

"Well…yes…but…I prefer Ana… don't be a jerk" I roll my eyes.

"Me? A jerk? Why ever would you think such a thing of me?" He laughs before walking off and leaving me standing there alone.

"I haven't seen you around here before? I'm jack" He says huskily, his hand reaching up brushing my curled hair over my shoulder.

"uhm…hi..Yeah..I'm new here, I'm Ana" I smile kindly, feeling a little uncomfortable.

"Do you want a drink?"

"She doesn't drink," A voice says and I look up.

"She has a mouth to use for herself Grey" I watch as Jack rolls his eyes at him, then back to me.

"I would love a drink…thankyou…"

Christian eyes me. I look at him and I feel his glare burn through my body.

What is with him? One minute he's all nice and playful and the next he's looking at me as if he wants to kill me.

Wait…why did I just agree to another drink? From a stranger! I'm already so drunk…I don't even know what I'm doing anymore.

Jack nods moving to the tent, I walk around alone simply exploring my surroundings and I find myself at the beer pong table until I feel someone grab my elbow, I quickly turn and I'm met with intense grey eyes.

"If you know what's good for you, you won't drink the drink Jack gives you…he's not what you think he is"

I look confused. He's warning me off Jack? Why?

I move my elbow out of his grasp and crosses my arms across my chest.

"At least he's nice to me, which can't be said for other males in this party" I look up at him, and that's all I receive back Is a glare.

Where did this confrontation come from? The alcohol must have given me some confidence suddenly.

"Just don't drink the drink okay? Just fucking listen" He storms off. He's always so moody, always storming off, gosh. I make my way back to the bench just as Jack is arriving back with two drinks in hand. He hands me one and I can't help but look around the room until I see him. He's stood there, against the tree watching me. Me and Jack.

What is going on?

"Let's play a game!" Kate calls out as she moves to sit beside us, everyone else surrounding us in a circle too. The party hasn't even begun to start properly yet.

"Never have I ever!" Jack suggests and everyone nods in agreement.

"Wait…what's never have I ever?" I look curious at Jack.

"Have you never played before?" I shake my head answering.

"So someone will say…Never have I ever…and they say something they haven't done, but if someone in the circle has done it, they have to drink…" He grins, "So for example…I could say, Never have I ever worn makeup to a party…Which means, I don't drink, but you do" He grins more as his eyes gaze at my lips.

"Oh…I got it, Thanks" I say turning back away but I feel his arm snake along the back of my lower dress where I'm sitting. My eyes look around the room taking in all the unfamiliar faces but I feel two pairs of eyes on me, One from the right of me, and one from the tree.

"I'll start….easy one… Never have I ever had sex on the beach" Mia says to the group, A few people drink. Jack is one of them, but I look up at Christian against the tree and he doesn't, but maybe its because he's now occupied with a short, brown-haired skinny bitch, whispering into his ear. He shakes his head at her. And my cheeks burn a red as I watch her hand move around his waist, But he shakes his head a little more harshly and swipes her hand off him. She walks away in defeat. His eyes stay on her for a moment, then looks back to me, catching my stare. My cheeks flush and I quickly look away when he catches my eye. The next time I look up he's gone. I sip from the drink Jack gave me gaining another smirk from him.

"Christian keeps looking at you" Mia smirks. "You two would be so cute together!" Mia whispers in my ear drunkenly.

I laugh at her drunk confession.

"Not a chance..." I whisper to myself and luckily she doesn't hear me.

A couple of hours pass and I'm starting to feel a little funny. My legs aren't functioning properly and I feel as if I'm about to throw.

"Hey, baby…let me help you" I feel large hands move to my waist holding me up. I look up at the figure to find Jack's large harsh eyes blazing into mine.

"Come on baby…kiss me, you know you've wanted to all night" He leans in but even though I feel funny, I'm still more aware than he realizes.

"Wh-what? Oh…no…I uhh…sorry…no thankyou" I shake my head and turns away from him looking around but no ones there.

Where am I? Oh shit, I came to the kitchen for water.

Everyone else is still outside in the gardens.

"You know you want to…" He grips my ass pulling me flush against his body and I gasp in horror as I feel his length pressing against his tight jeans and I almost throw up there and then.

"No!" I gently push against his chest but he only holds me tighter and I writhe in his grasp.

"She fucking said No!"

Suddenly I find myself being pushed against the counter and hearing a thud as I watch Christian's fist come in contact with Jack's jaw.

"What the fuck man?" Jack's lip starts to bleed and my eyes widen in horror. Tears fill my eyes. "You're a dickhead Jack! Look at the state of her!"

"She wanted it!" He punches Jack again hard and this time he lands on the floor.

"You're a fucking psycho grey!" Christian is breathing heavily, I can only guess from anger, I bite my lip watching his reaction.

Why did he do that?

For me?

Jack looks at me and I look down at my feet sheepishly.

"Fuck sake" He grits before leaving the room. I stay leaned against the counter to keep myself up on my feet. My legs feeling like jelly. I watch as his fists clench at his sides. His back is facing towards me but I can tell in the way his shoulder blades raise then drop again, that he is breathing rapidly. Then he turns to me. He looks at me cautiously.

"A-Are you okay?" He says the tone he's using is unusual to me

. I nod, then shrug, then start to cry.

"I don't know…I…I think I'm more drunk than…." I turn to the sink and starts to throw up. Then something unexpected happens. I feel his hand at my back gently stroking it soothingly. His other hand holding back my locks of curls.

"Don't look at me" I whimper sadly as I reach for a paper towel wiping my mouth.

"Anastasia? Look at me…" I try to look further away but he gently takes my chin and tilts my head up to look at him.

"My names Ana… I mumble.

I look surprised when I gain a laugh from that.

"Ana…are you okay?" I nod slightly but then looks down again.

"I…I…I think I'm gonna faint…"

"What? Now?" His eyes look worried and that's the last thing I see before it goes black.

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I would just like to Thank all my followers so far. I really appreciate your commitment and its because of you I have started writing again. So thankyou!

I would like to address a specific review I received "I don't read stories about pedophiles".

I would just like to point out in the Real version of fifty shades, Elena and Christian began their situation when he was 15. This is a fifty Fanfiction and although I am changing it slightly, some information may be similar. I would also just like to point out that I am referring to American College which suggests Christian would be roughly 19/20 years old and in the second year of college. I hope this settles minds and I hope you stick with it to find out the rest of the story.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4…

My head is pounding. I can't even open my eyes. I try and try and eventually my eyelids raise just enough for me to peer out of them.  
SHIT. This isn't my room. Or my house. Or my bed.  
I jolt up in a panic as my breathing increases. I look around the room frantically. That's when my eyes lay on him. His body laid in the bed next to me, still, in the outfit, he was wearing last night.  
Oh shit. Last Night.  
I sit there biting my lip as my mind reels through the events of the party.  
Never have I ever game.  
A drink from Jack.  
Mrs Lincoln.  
A girl with Christian.  
Christian's blaring stare.  
Christian and Jack fighting.  
And that's it…that's where it goes black.  
My whole body aches, my head pounds as if someone is repeatedly hitting me over the head with a golf club, my throat is dry and sore but despite all that, I find my eyes drifting to him. My eyes rake over his peaceful state. He's laid out on his back, his arm raised above his head and a book laid on his chest. I figure he must have been reading and fell asleep.  
What baffles me is the fact I'm in his room. Not only in his room but in his bed, laid right next to him. I thought he hated me….My mind goes back to all the times he acted like an asshole towards me. I sit there for a while longer simply watching him sleep before something else catches my eye in the corner of the room.  
Mia's black dress.  
Fuck!  
I move the blanket frantically to see I'm here in an oversized black t-shirt, my panties and somehow, I still have my bra on. My heart starts to race so quickly I fear it may pound out of my chest. My eyes widen in panic and I pull the blanket slightly to cover myself back up, but I hear a groan coming from the stirring figure next to me.  
Fuck…Great…I've woken the beast.  
My heart races more and I gulp down in panic as I watch his eyes open. He looks disorientated, and when he sees me, He quickly moves to sit up attempting to hide the book away.  
Why is he trying to hide it? Is he ashamed of reading? I'm so confused about him.  
His eyes bore sleepily into mine before quickly moving off the bed and rubbing the back of his neck in what I can only assume is panic and an unknowing of how to behave towards me.  
"H-How are you feeling?" He surprises me by speaking first.  
"Better than I deserve" I shrug and looks down sadly, "D-Did you put me to bed?" When I don't hear an answer I look back up to see him shrug and nod slightly.  
"I didn't have much of a choice"  
"D-Did…we…I mean…nothing happened? Right? Did you undress me?"  
"No Ana…nothing happened," He says a little sharply as if offended by my accusation, "Necrophilia isn't really my thing" I watch as he moves to his wardrobe, "And yes, I had to undress you, you vomited and well… you can imagine the rest".  
"Sorry…I…I just don't remember much from last night" I bite my lip confessing truthfully, "I remember moments but…"  
"I texted your Dad…"  
"Y-You what?" I panic reaching for my phone.  
"He texted after you passed out…Probably worried about you, don't worry I wasn't going through your phone".  
I look through the texts and find the one he sent to my Dad.  
'Hey Dad, Kate asked me to stay over, I hope that's okay, I'll see you tomorrow'  
"That's very kind.. thank…" I look up at him and I watch as his nose scrunches up slightly at the compliment.  
"I thought you didn't drink?" He says quickly cutting me off my sentence.  
"I don't…I mean that was my first time…" I shrug and looks up at him.  
"You put yourself in danger last night…you shouldn't do that" He says sternly.  
"I'm not a child Christian… Everyone else was drinking"  
"So just because everyone else is doing it, that means you should do it?" He looks at me seriously, his eyes warning me slightly making me so confused.  
"Well…no… but…" I roll my eyes, "I should go…" I climb out of the bed and that's when I realise just how short the t-shirt is. It lands half way down my thigh and I've never felt so naked in front of someone. My cheeks turn a bright red and I look down crossing my arms over my chest as if I'm attempting to hide away from his gaze. But something in me wants him to look, what would he think? Think of me? Who am I kidding, he's probably repulsed.  
Who would ever want me?  
The room is silent. So silent, after a few moments I look up to see his eyes raking over my body. I watch his chest rise and fall before he catches my stare and he grips the chair beside him, his features turning a little angry? Is it anger I see? I'm not sure. Why the sudden change?  
I look curious, my brows furrowing as my head tilts to the side slightly in confusion.  
"Yeah…you should go" He turns away.  
He says nothing after that. I wait for a moment and when the room stays silent with his back to me I roll my eyes in frustration stomping over to my dress laid out on the chair.  
"I remember seeing you with a girl last night? Is that why you're being like this? You have a girlfriend? Is that it? It's not like anything happened between us".  
"Let's get this straight, Anastasia…" He moves to me staring down at me intensely. I feel intimated.  
"1. I don't date, anyone ever…, 2. Whatever you think this is or was, you're wrong… 3. I'm surprised you remember anything in the state you were in" He says with an icy cold tone.  
I glare.  
"I don't think this is anything…Do you think I'd choose to be with someone who treats me as badly as you do?!"  
Stay calm Ana…Stay calm…  
"You know…you claim and act to be a bad boy…storming around college with an angry expression hating the world… Spitting harsh words towards me and others even when others are trying to be nice to you…. but I know differently" I say sternly crossing my arms back over my chest and looks at him.  
He looks a little shocked, and honestly? Even a little scared. I think I've hit a nerve.  
"What do you mean you know differently?" He spits, replying in the only way I think he knows how to, angrily.  
"If you didn't care, you would have left me there last night…you wouldn't have cared what happened to me, you wouldn't have cared if Jack had taken me.."  
"Don't say that fuckers name, I mean it!" He slams his palm onto the table. I jump slightly as I hear and watch his hand connect with the hard wooden table. I watch as the lamp placed on the edge shakes unsteadily from the force. He looks away from me as if in pain. What has happened between him and Jack to cause such a reaction? I think to myself. I'm not scared….yes he's angry but I'm not scared. I move towards him slowly as he continues to look away, I see he's breathing heavily by the rise and fall of his back. I reach him and I place a gentle hand to the middle of his back and I feel him freeze and turn rigid at my touch as hear a pained hiss escape his lips.  
What did I do?  
"Don't fucking touch me! Just go…" He says quietly but I hear the fear and pain in his voice.  
"Christian.." He brushes my hand off his back hastily and moves back towards the wardrobe, "I said go!"  
I watch in defeat as he walks away, I move back to the chair that's beside his bed and I pick up the dress I wore last night, before sighing and without looking at him I whisper, loud enough for him to hear, "Thankyou….for last night…".  
"No need to thank me," He says bluntly and yet still refuses to look at me. I move across the hall and into the bathroom. I need to look at least half decent to leave the house. But my clothes are in Mia's room.  
Shit.  
I move to Mia's room and gently knocks the door but there's no answer. To my surprise, the door creaks open and I peak in realising no one is inside. I move in grabbing the jeans and T-shirt I wore over here yesterday and quickly rushes back into the bathroom to change into them.  
When I emerge from the bathroom, I look down the hall and his door is still open. He's sat on the bed looking down at the book I can only assume he was reading before he fell asleep beside me last night. I stand there for a moment and I find myself watching him, but he must feel my gaze because he looks up.  
I've been caught.  
I look away and I start to make my way down the stairs quickly ready to leave. My hand reaches the knob of the front door before I feel a large hand against my elbow. I jump slightly and turns quickly on my heels, going rigid in defence, only to find myself gazing up into two grey intense eyes. His touch is soft, but when he feels me jump he soon removes his hand but somehow, I miss his touch.  
What is wrong with me?  
"Do you need a ride home?" He looks apologetic somewhat "I mean I can take you home...or I could take you somewhere…" He says quickly and stammers a little from what I can only assume is due to nerves.  
He acts so toughly and big around everyone but now to see him this way, It's like speaking to a completely different person.  
"I can take a cab…plus, my Dad might be a little worried…"  
"yeah sure… It was a stupid idea anyway… forget it" He turns without hesitation and takes the stairs by two, practically running back up to his room.  
But something inside me stirs. He doesn't seem like someone to open up easily.  
Is that what he was going to do? Take me somewhere to talk? Somewhere he feels comfortable? I find myself torn between going home or going back up to his room to take him up on his offer. I am intrigued.  
This isn't me, This isn't what I do. I don't party. I don't drink. I don't go with boys alone. He's treated me like shit since the moment I met him. But he intrigues me and somehow I find myself at his door. It's still open from before and he's laying on his bed staring up the ceiling. I lean in the doorway, gently knocking against the wood to get his attention. He leans up on his elbows looking at me, void of emotion. Like a mask, a cover.  
"If you don't mind dropping me home to just grab a hoodie, then maybe we can head somewhere? Unless you've changed your mind? I can just go…." I give a small nervous smile awaiting an answer.


	5. Chapter 5

I find myself gazing out of the window of his Prius as we drive down the winding roads away from college. Luckily, my Dad wasn't in the house when I went to get changed, thankful I didn't have to explain anything about last night. He has the music on a nice volume but the music isn't exactly to my taste. It's a little heavy, a little emotional, a little dark and mysterious.

Am I describing the music or him?

I think to myself as I look over and watches him drive for a moment until he turns meeting my gaze. "Are you okay?" He asks before looking back down at the road.

"Yeah…where…where are we going?"

"You'll see…" He doesn't look at me but I see his lips curl into a small smirk.

"Is this the part of the movie where you kill me and leave me in the woods?" I gain a laugh…an actual laugh.

"Not today Ana…". It honestly makes me feel a little better seeing him smile and I start to relax a little. "Do you mind if I turn down the window?" He doesn't respond verbally so I look at him and he gives a small nod in response. I slowly wind it down and I rest my arm on the archway and my chin on top, letting the wind blow through my hair as I close my eyes, my lips curling into a smile.

I feel his eyes on me, He's watching me.

As I slowly open them, I catch him quickly looking away and I see his hands grip the wheel tighter. "We're almost there"

"To where?"

"You'll see" He smirks more. I roll my eyes and giggles. We start to climb higher in the car. The winding roads leading us up towards a peak. After a few minutes he pulls up to the side of the road and I look around curiously. There's nothing but forest and road and I look at him.

"Where's the body bag and duct tape?" He laughs again and I feel my smile grow. He seems so different away from College, calmer, more relaxed. I like this Christian.

"I said not today" He smirks more opening his door and I watch as he walks around moving to open my passenger side.

"It's a little bit of a walk, is that okay?"

I nod and moves to climb out of the car. He takes off into the forest and I follow close behind. I feel excited and nervous at the same time. I follow him in silence for about 5 minutes. My arms crossed across my chest as I walk, My eyes roaming up into the trees and down at my surroundings as I step over roots and rocks.

"It's not much further" He turns and looks at me just as I'm climbing up onto the large rock, he so easily climbed over 10 seconds earlier. I find myself surprised when he reaches his hand down to help me. I hesitate for a moment before taking it and he slowly helps me up and over and safely back onto the ground.

"Thank you…" I blush and gently tucks my stray hair behind my ear. He gives me a nod and continues to walk ahead. I smile as he walks ahead and soon he pushes a large branch and waits for me to pass in front of him.

My eyes widen as I gaze out at the view. The city appeared as if by magic. The idyllic scene took my breath away as I stand there and I soon feel his presence next to me and looks up at him.

"This is beautiful" I give him a bright smile and he gives a small one back as he rubs his hand against the back of his neck nervously. I look back out at the scene taking in the picture. The whole city was in view. There's not a single cloud and the bright blue sky surrounds the whole city. We're so high up there's barely any noise except for the peaceful rustle of the trees and our low breaths as we stand beside each other. He makes his way forward to a large Rock situated right at the edge of the cliff. I watch him nervously and as he climbs up he turns to look at me and offers me his hand.

"It's safe I promise…." He gives me a reassuring smile as I gaze at his hand before taking it and carefully climbing up. We sit close beside each other as we both gaze out. I turn my head slightly and I watch him. The way he's a little more carefree, calm and serene. This is a different Christian to what I've witnessed so far. It's silent for a long time, but it's a comfortable silence.

"I like to come here to think and just have some quiet…it's so quiet" He says quietly. A little sadness lined in his voice as he talks, His hand moves to rest next to my leg and although it doesn't connect with my body, I feel a shiver run through my body at the closeness.

"You probably think that's weird," He says and his face turns into a small frown and still his gaze remains out towards the water.

I shake my head "It's very beautiful…I enjoy the quiet too…I wish I knew about this place sooner it would be a lovely place to read. I'd love to come up here for the sunset one day… I love sunsets..". He finally looks at me and his expression is surprised, "Really?" He questions and I smile nodding in response.

"Do you enjoy reading?" I ask, but not wanting to push him too far, simply wanting to make conversation. He gazes back out towards the city and tenses slightly.

"You know…you don't have to tell me, I'm just making conversation, if you don't want to talk about it, that's okay" I say to him honestly and I swear I see his body relax once again next to me.

"It…It's just…everyone has a past…things happen and people change, the things you love can sometimes be ripped away" He shrugs and looks down at his hands now in his lap. I bite my lip sadly and it's like looking at a lost little schoolboy and honestly, it breaks my heart.

He seems to sit there with his thoughts. And once again I find us sitting there in silence.

What has happened to him?

I'm seeing him in a different light and my heart swells for him.

"Why did you move here?" He questions curiously.

"So my real Dad died when I was a baby and My Mom is now on fiance number 4, she's a hopeless romantic…" I sigh "My step Dad, was amazing. I love him as though he were my real Dad and vice versa. But I couldn't stand going through another happy family home when my stepdad was living all alone and after everything he did for me, everything he continues to do, I decided that after the third wedding I'd move up here to be with him" I smile sadly and looks up at him. His eyes gaze into mine, then at my lips, then back up to my eyes and I find myself quickly looking away as my heart races from his stare.

"What about you?" I laugh nervously, trying to change the subject, "Now you've heard my life story" "What about me?"

"What's your story?" I ask giving him a small smile and he quickly looks away and I notice the sudden change in his posture. His brows furrow like he's thinking. But I can tell whatever he's thinking about is making him angry. I gently reach my hand out and touches his shoulder and his head quickly snaps towards me making me jump a little at the speed but I keep my calm smile as I look at him.

"I meant what I said earlier…You don't have to tell me anything if you don't want to" and with that, I feel him relax under my touch. He gazes at me for what feels like a lifetime and I watch as his hand raises and slowly and gently moves towards my cheek. I feel my heart race in my chest as his eyes bore into my own.

"What are you doing to me…" He whispers I think more to himself than me as he gently strokes his thumb along my cheekbone. His eyes move from mine and I watch as they land on my lips and I find my own wandering to his too.

He leans a little closer, a little closer, I gaze back up into his eyes when we're only millimeters apart and just as our lips are about to make contact his eyes widen a little and he moves away, taking his hand from my cheek and stands quickly. I look down a little embarrassed.

What the hell was that?

Did I do something wrong?

Is this a joke?

I'm now sat here waiting for the cameras to emerge from the bushes and laugh in my face shouting in my ear this was all a hoax. I refuse to look up and I feel myself getting anxious, nervous, I try to calm my now shaking hands by rubbing them against my jeans.

"Are you hungry?"

What?

At the strange question after what just happened I find myself looking up at him. He rubs the back of his neck nervously staring down at his feet.

"Wh-What?"

"I mean…like maybe we could grab some lunch? We didn't eat breakfast and…well.." He shrugs, "Or I can just drop you home, it's up to you" He starts to walk away like as if he's ashamed. I scramble to my feet and rushes after him trying to catch up, as I get closer he's mumbling something angrily to himself and I think I hear him say:

Stupid fucking idiot,

she doesn't want you She deserves better,

She can do so much better,

Someone like her doesn't belong with a fuck up like you!

My heart breaks for him. Why does he think so lowly of himself? I soon catch up and he hears me step on a twig cracking it and the mumbles stop but he continues to walk.

"If lunch is still on offer, I am pretty hungry"

"Really?" He stops and looks at me in surprise, I nod and smiles moving to walk past him. When I do, I can see out of the corner of my eyes his smile growing before he soon follows me back down towards his car.

An hour later we find ourselves at a small cute little cafe at the corner of town. We find a table in the corner and sit opposite each other. "So…what are your plans after college?" He asks just as I bite into a fry and smiles.

"Well my plan is to move to Seattle and hopefully find a writing or publishing job, what about you?" He ignores my returned question and decides to continue to ask me questions making me giggle slightly, I did tell him he didn't have to talk if he didn't want to and I have to remember that.

"So you like books?" I nod smiling at his question.

"I love them… honestly, I go to college, I work occasionally, but other than that I'm reading, eating or sleeping" I take another bite of my fry and I watch his lips curl into a smile as he takes a bite of his too. I really like this Christian, The way College Christian should be. It makes me smile. I sip my coke and smiles as I continue with my food, I look down at my plate as I add a small amount of ketchup to my plate.

"So what's your major in College? I know you're taking English Lit but is that the only class you have?" I don't receive a response and I look up at him.

"Christian?"

His eyes are at the door and then his plate as he puts down his fry and runs his hand through his hair. I feel the tension and the atmosphere drastically change.

"Well well well….what a surprise to see you two here." I hear the familiar voice and I look up.

Shit.

It's Mrs. Lincoln, followed by a man I'm assuming is her? Husband?

"Hi Mrs. Lincoln," I say with a small smile which she returns, but I notice how she barely even looks at me and keeps her gaze on Christian, as he offers a small smile.

What is this?

"We…were just…" He doesn't know how to answer, He looks at me then looks away. The kindness in his eyes that he's shown me in the last few hours, gone.

"I'll go and find us a table" Mr. Lincoln kisses her cheek moving to the empty table just behind us. Elena watches him go before looking back at Christian.

"Mr. Lincoln and I were just talking about you, Are you still okay to come around later for the Help in the garden? He has to head to work at 4 and Your strong muscles are well needed" She laughs softly and I watch him nod.

I tilt my head to the side, I'm so confused.

"Perfect, I'll see you later then…You two be good now, enjoy your food"

What?

"That was weird…" I laugh softly trying to lighten the mood as I look at him.

He looks uncomfortable now and before I can say anymore he's pulling money out of his wallet and leaves it on the table.

"I'm sorry, I can't do this…I'll drop you home"

I look at him bewildered.

What the hell just happened?

Did I do something?

"Oh…I…you know it's fine…I'll just walk, it's not too far. I could do with the air" I quickly grab my bag feeling embarrassed and honestly a little hurt.

"Thanks again for last night, I guess I'll see you around," I say bitterly and he doesn't even look up at me. When he looks away and says nothing, my stomach churns in knots and I try to contain my tears, I give a nod in defeat before turning on my heels heading for the door.

My heart pounds angrily as I push the door open hard. Rushing out and down the block.

"Ana! Ana!" I hear my name but I choose to ignore it and walks a little faster.

"Ana!" My elbow is grabbed and I turn quickly to face the intruder.

"Y…You forgot this…." He hands me my hoodie.

"Thanks…" I quickly wipe my tear away before he notices, but I fear already failed.

"Ana, I'm sorry okay….I just…I…" He sighs in defeat unknowing of what to say.

"What the fuck was that Christian? Were you like, embarrassed that they saw us together?!"

"What? Of course not"

I scoff shaking my head, "That's what it seemed like…Look I know she's a family friend, but I just don't understand why you just…you just changed and returned to your usual asshole self again, I really enjoyed this morning and I thought...maybe..." I look down in defeat.

His body tenses and he looks away letting his features turn angry and letting his brows furrow before looking back at me. He lets out a hearty sarcastic laugh

"You thought what?! I told you, I don't date Anastasia….not you…not anyone".

His words cut through me like a knife and I nod.

Not that I was expecting anything more honestly? I should have been more sensible and just not gone to that stupid fucking party.

Why is he making me feel this way?

Why is he treating me like this?

Tears fill my eyes and I turn on my heels walking away from him, clutching my hoodie tightly into my hand trying to stop my tears from falling.

"Ana…I'm sorry… please…I…I don't know why I'm like this…please Ana…you make me better, you've made me feel more alive in the last 4 hours than I have my entire life, Ana please, I want to be better…" I close my eyes and continue to walk trying to ignore his pleads.

"Stay the fuck away from me Christian!" I shout over my shoulder before I can't contain my tears any longer. They stream down my cheeks and I feel defeated.

I can't even describe why I feel this way.

Am I attracted to him?

Do I have feelings for him?

I walk a little quicker needing and wanting to get home as quickly as possible.

Why is he making me feel this way?

Wanting to spend time with me, then pushing me away. I feel like a toy, used.

_I don't date, not you, not anyone_

His words replay over and over in my head.

My heart clenching in pain, My stomach churning in knots.

No one has ever made me feel this way before.

_Not before him._

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I just want to say a HUGE thank you to everyone that has read, followed and reviewed my story so far. It really does mean the world to me and it's thanks to you guys that I've found my love for writing again. I cannot thank you enough for your time and effort in reading and reviewing.

I hope my story will continue to keep you all reading and reviewing and Please any comments or criticism will be taken on board and appreciated wholeheartedly.

You're all amazing! And please continue to review and let me know if you're enjoying or disliking the story so far!

There are more chapters to come very very soon so I hope you stay tuned!

Thank You!


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6…

Fuck. Fuck. FUCK!

I run my hands through my hair frustration as I watch her storm up the street away from me.

"Ana!"

I'm such a dick. Fuck.

From the moment I saw her, she stirred something deep inside of me. The way her innocent blue eyes gleam and the way her hair flows down her shoulders. The way she bites that damn lip and it turns me absolutely fucking crazy.

No one has ever captured me the way she has. She's been here for a week. A fucking week and I find myself wanting to see her every day. All week I've sat in English Lit watching the way she intently listens to what Elena has to say. The way she bites the end of her pencil when she's thinking. The way she brushes her hair back behind her ear as she writing.

I have a type, and as fucked up as it sounds, she's mine.

I have fucked so many girls in anger at this College, all of them whoring themselves out, dropping themselves at my feet at parties, but not her. Her innocence intrigues me. Her quirkiness sparks desire in me.

None of the others meant a single thing to me.

There is one…but that's different. She's made me better. She tamed the angry little boy I was. I'm still learning but she helps me.

The same happens every single time, I get angry, I need to calm and I need release so I go back and do the same thing, I fuck..Hard. Hard and angry.

But Ana…she's different. I find myself calm around her, peaceful. She makes me feel so….so different. I don't need to fuck her for her to calm me. It's weird. I like it and I hate it at the same time. I still treated her like a dick and I don't know what to do, I've never been in this situation before. I've never wanted someone to be around. But I need her around, I need to see her at least once in the day. I like feeling the calm she rushes through me. It's a strange feeling, but it's peaceful. I need peaceful.

Last night, was the first time I've slept. It was such a strange feeling to me, actually waking up naturally. Normally I'm jolted awake by my nightmares, my body covered in sweat. The sun not even risen and I sit there reading waiting for it to rise in the hope no one heard me screaming in my sleep. But not when she was there.

I don't sleep with anyone. Even the girls I've fucked. I've never fucked any of them in a bed.

When I woke up and saw her eyes watching me, I felt a little panic because I've never experienced waking up with someone before, but it was a feeling I wanted more of. I need more of. I need the peace she makes me feel. Only her.

I'm so fucking angry at myself right now I storm back towards my car speeding off down the street going to look for her. But I fail.

I head home taking the stairs two by two, moving to Elliot's room.

Surprise Surprise Kate would be here.

I fucking knew she would.

I open the door without announcing my arrival and Kate squeals pulling the blanket around her body and I roll my eyes in annoyance.

"What the fuck Christian!" Elliot says pulling up his boxers, "What do you want?"

"I came to see Kate actually".

They both look at me is if I have 4 heads and it's actually pretty funny.

"Do you have Ana's number?"

"Yeah, why?"

I cross my arms in frustration.

"Can I have it?"

"No I'm not giving you Ana's number, she asked me not to give her number out" Kate shrugs.

Fuck, she really is so careful about this shit.

"Please?" Did I actually just say fucking, please? Even Elliot looks surprised.

"Nope, sorry"

"You heard her Bro, ask Ana for it at school"

"Why do you even want it anyway?" Kate raises her eyebrows in suspicion.

I quickly turn and retreats from the room and nothing more is said. Thank Fuck.

After I left Elliot's room without Ana's number I head over to Elena's. To my surprise, it doesn't get rid of my anger like it normally does. And I don't know why but I feel a little guilty for even going over there. She normally tames me, calms my anger. Calms my feelings. But not this time… I don't even know what I'm feeling anymore. But, I do know that what just happened with Elena, hasn't helped me for the first time in 2 years.

What the hell is wrong with me?!

What is she doing to me?!

Monday at school, I have my usual frown plastered on my face as I walk through the halls.

English Lit is the second period and honestly? I can't wait to see her. I need to talk to her and so I wait on the English hall just before the second period in the hope to meet her before we go inside.

I wait. And wait. And wait.

I start to get agitated and annoyed, looking at the time, the class starts in 3 minutes.

She is never late, where the hell is she.

Then, my fists clench at my sides, my heart pounds as I start to feel my blood boil as it courses through my body.

Jack Fucking Hyde.

What the actual fuck?!

She's laughing, He's smiling. Walking down the hall together.

What the fuck.

My eyes narrow and I feel my body growing angrier and angrier.

The calming effect she normally has on me has completely faded today.

I punch the wall before storming into the classroom and sitting in my normal seat, slouched down clutching my wrist slightly as my middle knuckle bleeds.

They enter the room together and she moves to her normal seat. Jack doesn't even take English Lit why is he even in here?!

He notices me glaring and he smirks, moving to take a seat behind Ana.

Fuck this shit.

I pick up my bag storming back down the steps and out of the door, storming past Elena. She goes to grip my elbow but I only move faster, slamming the door hard behind me causing the floor to shake a little.

I spend the rest of second period, alone, first in the bathroom cleaning the blood off my knuckles and second, in the library.

I sit in the bean bag on the floor, I pick up a book starting to read. I sigh reading through the pages.

'I have faults enough, but they are not, I hope, of understanding. My temper I dare not vouch for. It is, I believe, too little yielding— certainly too little for the convenience of the world. I cannot forget the follies and vices of others so soon as I ought, nor their offenses against myself. My feelings are not puffed about with every attempt to move them. My temper would perhaps be called resentful. My good opinion once lost, is lost forever.'

Pride and Prejudice. I wonder if she likes this book. She probably does. I sigh running my hand in frustration through my hair.

Why was she with Jack? After what happened at the party I thought she might stay away from him.

The way he touched her. The way he grinds his body against her, the way her small plea of NO came out of her innocent beautiful mouth, making my stomach churn in knots as I watch her stumble drunkenly in his arms. I couldn't help but whack him one right across the cheek. My only regret Is that I didn't do it harder.

I couldn't leave her there. She passed out in my arms and I carried her up the stairs to my room. Her body rested against mine. Her closeness sending pained sparks through my body but not as bad as what I normally feel. It's different with her. She looked so small, so peaceful. She got sick a little on her dress so I had to undress her. I felt like a pervert as I did, carefully removing the dress and her shoes, but I couldn't help my eyes as they gazed over her creamy skin. Fuck, she was so beautiful and it's a memory I'll never forget.

I grabbed my black shirt and put it over her head before moving my blankets around her. I sat next to her as she slept and started reading, gazing at her every so often making sure she was okay, and the next thing I knew I was waking to serene glossy blue eyes gazing in my direction.

"Christian?"

What? Fuck.

I'm pulled from the memories of the party by a voice. Her voice.

I look up and in a panic, I quickly close my book hiding it away.

"What do you want?" I grit.

Why am I still being such a dick to her?

I'm annoyed about seeing her with Jack!

Her face drops at my remark and I inwardly curse myself for doing so.

Fuck sake.

Being an asshole is all I know and I don't know how to change.

I don't know how I'm supposed to react.

"I just came to see if you were okay" I watch as her shoulders slump, She shrugs.

I'm such a prick. She is so kind and caring. And me? Well, I'm fucked up.

She deserves to be with a good guy, a guy that can give her the world.

"I'm fine…" I shrug and lies.

"Okay…." She nods and looks at me for a moment.

I feel the guilt run through my veins.

"What happened to your hand?" She looks down at my bloodied hand and I attempt to hide it away. "Nothing" I snap and looks away, "Shouldn't you be off with like Jack or something?"

"Jack?" She looks at me curiously.

"Don't act stupid Ana, I saw you with him" I spit out.

"Is that why you left class?" She moves to sit opposite me and plays with her fingernails.

Is she nervous?

"No…why would I care about that?"

I am still being an asshole. Fuck Up, Christian!

She goes to stand and leave but I need her to stay.

"He's not what you think you know…he's a bad guy…" I say sighing and looks down.

"At least he apologized for what he did wrong…and that's all that happened when you saw us, he apologized"

What?

I let out a sarcastic snort, "He apologized? You're joking, right? Fuck Ana, I knew you were naive but I didn't realize how much….He wants into your panties and he'll do anything to get there".

She looks at me with what I think is disgust, I watch as her perfectly bright blue eyes turn sad and glossy as she stares at me in disbelief.

I did this to her.

"I was hoping we could talk about what happened…but I'm done wasting my time here" She's trying to stay strong but I can see the tears welling up in her eyes.

She starts to walk towards the staircase. I can't let her go again. I rush to my feet chasing after her and gently takes her small elbow in my large hand for what seems like the hundredth time in the short time frame that I've known her.

"Ana…look…I'm sorry… I…" I sigh, how do I do this.

She wipes her cheek to rid the tear she hopes I haven't seen but it's too late. I gently reach my hand up and strokes my thumb over the damp patch.

She gazes up at me in disbelief and doesn't brutally push me away like I know she should. I gaze deeply into her eyes and we're lost in the moment. Her lips part. Fuck those lips. They part and I hear her breathing become a little heavier.

The seconds that pass between us feels like a lifetime.

"I don't know how I'm supposed to act Ana…I know I'm an ass… but…It's all I've ever known….I'm sorry for the way I treated you…"

Her expression changes slightly and I swear I feel her lean further into my touch.

"Why don't we try to be just friends? I'm friends with Kate…she's dating Elliot, we'll have to be around each other so we should try to get along" She says quietly and I watch as she swallow…barely even a whisper but loud enough for me to hear. I feel her heart rate increase as I still have her cheek gently cupped into my hand.

I gaze down into her eyes before whispering back, "I can't stay away from you Anastasia…"

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A little something different from this Chapter. I hope you enjoy! Thanks to all the support so far! I hope I continue to keep your interest with more chapters!

Please keep reviewing!

Thankyou!


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7…

I don't do hearts and flowers.

That's the last thing he said to me. After that we left the library on good terms, we found ourselves acknowledging each other in class, in the halls, and even at lunch.

He still makes his sarcastic comments sometimes but I've found they're starting to make me giggle.

I'm finding he's making me smile a lot lately and that's something I'm not used to.

Mia has invited Kate and I around the house tonight and honestly? I'm a little nervous.

After the party, After being in his room, will he be there? Mia's already told us her parents will be, so I'm nervous to meet them too.

Why though? I have no clue.

I have my stuff ready which I take to work with me so I can head straight over to the Grey house once I'm finished.

I'm standing behind the counter of the coffee shop simply cleaning around. As it gets later in the evening, the shop seems to get quieter and so I start cleaning the coffee machine down, then, I start brushing the floors until I hear the ding of the doorbell notifying me that someone has entered.

I move to the sink to wash my hands before moving back to the counter ready to serve.

Her navy dress clings to her curves. Her short blonde hair is perfectly curled so it rests nicely on her shoulders. Her make-up is flawless, a little too much for my liking but for someone of her age, it's fine.

I find myself a little nervous greeting my teacher at the counter but I smile brightly.

"Mrs. Lincoln…hey, what can I get for you"

I watch as her lips curl into a small smile.

"Anastasia….I didn't know you worked here…"

"Yeah, I've been here for about 3 weeks now, I started just before I started at College" I smile.

"That's wonderful, we all need to start off somewhere right?"

Is that a smirk I see on her lips? I look a little confused just for a moment but I brush it away.

"Yeah… I guess so…" I smile, "So what can I get for you today?"

"I'll take a black coffee please… And I'll get a tea for myself, both to go"

I nod and moves to take the money and then the drinks.

Hmm…black coffee, that reminds me of the time Christian came in here. He ordered the same thing. I think back to that moment when he told me I wasn't the party type of girl. I find myself giggle quietly to myself at the thought. He was right.

Wait.

Why am I thinking about him?

"So….you and Christian…are you two…?" Elena leans against the counter as she looks in the mirror at her lipstick. It's a bright red, pretty, but a little extravagant for me but it suits her.

I look curious at her question and I gain a laugh from her.

"Are you dating?"

I shake my head and almost drops her drinks as she asks.

"Oh…what? Oh gosh no…we…we tolerate each other for the sake of our other friends I guess"

"Oh really? Seemed like a lot of toleration when I saw you both together in here" She smirks as she sips her tea.

"Oh that was nothing…really"

Was it?

"He's always been a little angry boy you know, I've known him from the moment the Grey's brought him home"

"Brought him home?" I look curious.

"Hasn't he told you, dear? They adopted him when he was…I think he was 5" She sips her tea.

"Oh…no I didn't know that".

I find myself thinking about him again. Why was he adopted? Is that why he has issues? My heart hurts for him.

"He's been working for me since he was 17, on the bushes…gardens…you know, to keep him occupied…Keeps him out of fights, and Keeps him away from the girls too" She smirks laughing.

Is she joking? What? How on earth am I supposed to react to that?

Why am I having this conversation with my teacher? With my teacher about Christian?

I'm so confused right now.

"I see… well here's your change…" I go to hand it to her.

"Oh that's fine dear, you keep that" She smiles but It doesn't quite reach her eyes.

"Thankyou," I say as I poop it into the tip jar.

"I'll see you at class on Monday," She says as she moves to make her leave.

What the hell just happened?

I shake it off and moves to finish cleaning. Within 5 minutes I'm done and I quickly move to change into my regular clothes and heads over to The Grey house.

I still look up at the house in awe as I stand at the porch knocking the door. It's so big and beautiful.

My heart is racing nervously and I feel it running through my veins.

The door opens and Mia grins seeing me.

"Ana!" She wraps her arms around me hugging me making me laugh.

"Hi, Mia!"

"I'm so glad you came! Kate's upstairs too! Come on!" She grabs my hand pulling me inside.

My eyes widen when I see the most beautiful woman. She wearing a beautiful grey dress that lands below her knees. Her small heels giving her a small amount of height but not too much. Her make up is natural and she seems so sweet and caring.

"Mia…slow down darling" She laughs moving to us.

"Mom…We have to plan the Gala!" Mia says. This is her Mom? Their Mom? Christian's Mom? Or adoptive Mom? Was Elena telling the truth?

Hmm…

She laughs hearing Mia and looks to me, "You must be Anastasia…"

I nod nervously and gives a small smile.

"Yes... It's nice to meet you, Mrs. Grey…you have such a beautiful home".

"You are welcome at any time… and if you girl's need anything let me know okay?" She smiles sweetly.

"Yeah, thanks, Mom!" Mia says quickly and pulls me up the stairs.

There's music coming from her room and when she opens the door the room is filled with papers and outfit designs.

My smile grows seeing Kate and she moves to hug me too.

"You made it! We totally need your help!"

I nod smiling.

"What are we doing?"

"So…My Mom and Dad plan a Charity Gala every 6 months and they're huge! They raise money for children in need of help, so we auction things, you know that sort of stuff"

I nod smiling, "That sounds amazing…."

"My Mom was going to invite you both so I figured you could help with the planning too!" She grins.

An hour later she's planned the Decorations for inside the house, the decorations for the gardens.

"Now we just need a theme…." She bites on the end of her pen leaning against the edge of the bed thinking.

"What about a fancy dress ball?" Kate says laughing and Mia smirks laughing.

"I think Christian and Elliot would love that, They can share a donkey outfit, One in the front, one in the back…" Mia says and we all burst into laughter.

I really enjoy their company.

This is the first real friendship group I've ever had and it's an amazing feeling to be valued.

We continue to look through the magazines for ideas and I come across a black lace mask.

"What about masquerade? It's Mysterious?"

They both look at me.

What did I do?

I look at them curious as they just stare at me.

"What?"

"YOU ARE A GENIUS!" Mia squeals.

"Masquerade! Why didn't we think of that sooner!" Kate starts looking through the magazine as I put it in the middle for them to see.

"It's sexy…Mysterious….wanting…this is perfect. Ana, you're amazing!"

I giggle softly smiling.

Shit.

Now I have to find myself an outfit.

I start to look through more magazines and seeing the prices of these dresses, I may need to consider robbing a bank.

"I think I'm going to wear red" Mia says starting to sketch out a dress on a piece of paper.

"Hm… I might go purple, or maybe blue…" Kate says moving to change the song on the music player.

"What about you Ana?" Mia looks at me smiling.

"Oh…I…I'm not sure" I smile nervously. I'm not sued to this. "I've never been to a gala before…"

Kate smiles moving back beside us.

"That's what you got us for now" She nudges my arm grinning making me laugh.

"Oh my gosh, I have the perfect Idea for you, Ana! I'll design it and I'll even make it for you, I have plenty of time…. What if we meet here every Monday, Wednesday and Friday…have some girl time and I can do all of our dresses! It would be amazing for my College project too so you'd be helping me out more than I'm helping you" She grins putting her hands together in front of her with puppy dog eyes, pleading with both of us "Please…Please…Please…".

"Yes!" Kate squeals.

"I'm in!" I say with a wide smile and we end up in group hug.

I feel so involved. So wanted. The best thing I did was move to this College.

My smile grows.

"I'm going to get started…" Mia moves to her draws pulling out all her colors, pencils, drawing pads and starts on Kate's dress first.

"Mia, can I use the bathroom?"

"Yeah course, you don't have to ask" She smiles sweetly as she continues to focus on her drawing.

"I nod smiling and I make my way down the familiar hall and to the bathroom that I know is opposite Christian's room.

I walk inside to pee and as I'm washing my hands I notice the window looks out into the beautiful gardens, I gaze out there as I'm drying my hands and suddenly my mouth goes a little dry. It's him.

I feel my heart rate increase slightly as he walks towards the house. Sipping from a coffee cup.

Wait…isn't that from my store? I narrow my eyes slightly in an attempt to let my eyes focus on the cup.

I didn't see him come in today… That's weird.

As I look out, there's a light brightening up the porch in the house next door.

_She lives next door._

Kate's words remind me of who exactly lives next door. When I look up I see her. She closes the door behind her as she walks inside after watching Christian enter into this house.

He must have been helping her with the gardens again.

I shrug and son makes my way out back into the hall and back towards Mia's room.

"Ana?" He says in surprise when his eyes land on me.

"Uhm..Hi…" I smile nervously stopping in my tracks.

"What are you doing here?" He rubs the back of his neck nervously.

"Mia invited me over… she wanted help with the Gala thing your parents are holding" I shrug.

"Oh…you…you're invited to that?" He speaks but I'm not sure what emotion is behind it.

"Uhm yeah, I think so…Mia is designing my dress".

"Oh..Okay then…"

"If you don't want me to go…then…" I look at him, what am I supposed to say?

"No, it's not that …its…it doesn't matter"

I look down at the cup in his hand.

It is my store's cup.

"Black coffee?" I ask trying to lighten the mood but also trying to dig into whether or not the black coffee Elena bought was for him.

"Yeah" He shrugs and that's all he gives me.

"Cool…okay well, I better…" I gesture to Mia's room.

"Yeah…okay" He replies and barely looks at me.

What's gotten into him?

I nod and as I'm about to pass him I see a red mark on the neckline of his shirt.

"You have a little something…." I go to attempt to wipe it off but I see his eyes widen in horror and he grips my wrist. His eyes blazing down into mine.

"Don't" He says coldly.

"S-Sorry… I…" I bite my lip and quickly removes my wrist from his grasp.

Was that…

Was that just lipstick on his shirt?

It couldn't have been right?

I mean…he's probably been gardening, maybe painting?

It was a bright red color.

But,

Paint doesn't smudge in that way….

Stop assuming Ana. Stop it.

_That's the problem, Everyone always assumes. _

His words from the cafeteria two weeks ago rings through my head.

Stop assuming Ana.

But it was an awful lot like…like… her lipstick.

The coffee, the lipstick.

Shit.

Stop assuming Ana!

I open the door to Mia's room but I take one more look back at him. I can't help it.

I have this feeling deep inside.

A bad feeling.

What is he doing to me? I sigh to myself.

As I turn to look at him, he doesn't see me but I see his fist connect with the door frame as he mumbles angrily to himself as he walks past it and into his room slamming the door behind him.

My heart hurts. But why?

I don't even know what I'm feeling right now.

Something in me wants to go and check on him. Wants to see him. Wants to talk to him.

But something in me wants to leave him alone too.

I'm so conflicted.

"Oh Ana, what are you doing to yourself" I sigh whispering to myself before putting on a bright smile as I walk back into Mia's room, pretending to be excited over the dresses.

But honestly? I can't take my mind off him.

I need to know he's okay.

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	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8…

Fuck! Fuck! FUCK!

My fist connects with the hardwood making my knuckles bleed once again.

What the fuck am I doing?!

I lift my lamp and throws it at the wall. Then moving angrily onto the chair, making it fly through the air at such speed, that when it connects with the wall, the leg breaks off.

I sit at the end of my bed staring at the mirror opposite.

It's there.

Perfectly visible.

Red fucking lipstick.

I hate myself. I really do.

Ana must think the worst of me.

I put my head into my hands angrily before moving to the mirror and smashing it harshly, letting it shatter before I rip the shirt off my back and throwing it down into the trash can. I move to my wardrobe pulling out a black shirt and grey hoodie, pulling them over my head.

_Black coffee?_

Her voice goes through my head. Did Elena go to her workplace?

I thought it was weird that she brought home coffee. She's never done that before.

Had she planned this whole thing?

Surely not? She couldn't have known Ana was coming here.

Why did she go to the damn coffee shop?

I want to go in and drag Ana out of Mia's room to ask her questions, but I don't want to cause attention to either of us.I want her to stand here and tell me everything. But I know in return she'd ask me questions. I hate when she does that. She tells me I don't have to answer but, Fuck. How would I even answer the lipstick stain she saw?

_Ana, I like you, I don't know how to act towards you, you deserve so much better than me. I fuck my next door neighbor and our English Lit teacher because she calms my anger... _

I say mockingly to myself as I sit there holding my bloodied hand. I'm such a fucking idiot.

There's a knock at my door and I start to panic.

Is it her?

Shit.

I grumble, "Come in".

The door opens slowly and I look away when I see it's my Mom.

My body suddenly turns rigid and defensive again.

"Oh my darling, what happened?"

She moves to me sadly taking my hand.

"I'm fine…just leave me" I say moving my hand away from her.

I'm even a dick to her, what is wrong with me.

"Christian, I'm not leaving you like this…" She says sadly looking around the room. "Tell me what happened".

"Nothing, I fell…"

She gives me a knowing look and it makes me internally laugh, but my facial expression stays emotionless. She knows me too well.

"Christian…" She sighs sadly looking at me with such love, such sadness for me and I'm still a dick.

"Mom I'm fine…I promise" I look down.

She nods in defeat kissing the side of my head, and I feel it comfort me even though I attempt to move away.

"I love you my darling," She says before standing and making her leave. Leaving me with my thoughts.

She wouldn't love me if she knew the truth.

If she knew what I did when I was 'working' with Elena. They're best friends.

I can't stop with her.

When I've tried to stop, I get angrier and angrier and angrier.

But when I tried to stop, I didn't want to. Now because of ana… I sigh.

I'm a dick to everyone now but, times that by 100 when Elena hasn't subdued me in a while.

I sigh standing and moves to the bottom drawer of my cabinet pulling out the bottle of whiskey I stole from my father's cupboard.

Cheers to me, the biggest fuck up the world has ever known.

I raise a glass to myself before drinking from the bottle.

One gulp turns to two, two to three, three to six and before I know it, the bottle is gone.

Fuck.

I'm drunk.

I climb out of my window and onto the roof, the sun setting behind the mountains in the distance.

Ana likes sunsets.

Wait what?

Drunk me starts thinking about Ana too much.

I need her, I can't stay away from her.

Fuck.

I sit there in the cold air watching the sky turn black. I lay down as my head starts to spin from the alcohol gazing up at the stars.

I close my eyes for, what I think is a moment, but when I reopen them, I'm freezing.

Mia's music has stopped and I hear small voices downstairs on the porch.

"I'll see you on Monday for your dress fitting okay? Don't be late!"

I hear Mia's voice and I look down watching her hug Ana.

My Ana.

"I'll see you Monday, I'm gonna go call my Dad to take me home" Mia nods smiling brightly.

"I'll wait with you until he comes…"

"No no it's okay…I'll be fine, I'll see you Monday, Thanks again for everything Mia, I'm so excited"

"Me too! Text me later!"

I listen to their conversations and watch Ana walk down the path through our gardens as I sit on the roof.

Kate is probably already in Elliot's room to so that's probably why she wasn't at the door.

I wish I could get Ana in my room. I want her here. I need her here.

I wish she would stay with me as Kate stays with Elliot.

That'll only ever happen in my dreams. I look away sadly.

I look back up to get one last look at her before she leaves and to my surprise, she looks over her shoulder like as if she can feel my gaze.

She looks up towards my room and our eyes collide.

I sit there gazing at her, my eyes glossy and struggling to focus due to the alcohol but I know she's looking right back at me. I watch as her figure moves back a little closer towards the house.

"Are you okay?" She calls up but I hear the nervousness in her voice as she talks.

I could listen to her voice all night.

Is this me talking or the alcohol?

"Yeah…you want a drink?" I hold up the bottle of whisky slightly. Why? I have no idea.

I hear her laugh and shakes her head. She's laughing at me. Fucking great. I feel the anger start to rise in my body and I clench the bottle tighter in my hand.

"I don't think me drinking alcohol turned out so well the last time, so I think I'll pass…" She says with more of a laugh.

Wait. So she wasn't laughing at me.

"I'll be happy to hold your hair back over the sink again… and even have you in my bed again" My lips curl into a smirk as I talk. Wow, I'm suuuuper drunk.

In my bed again. Smooth grey. I scold myself internally.

But to my surprise, she laughs more, "Wow you really are drunk! You're normally hating on me telling me to go away, not spending the night with you…again.." She laughs making me smirk.

"I'm not that mean…am I?" I say seriously looking down at her.

"I don't think you mean to be" She smiles at me. Her lips are so intoxicating.

Those fucking lips.

"Do you want to come up?" I ask nervously.

"To your room?" She questions and I reply with a nod.

"I'll come down and open the door?"

She stands there for a moment questioning herself.

I watch her stir. Trying to decide if she should.

To my surprise, she nods softly and I quickly leap up running down the stairs.

She actually wants to spend time with me. I can't believe it.

I open the door and I give a small smile trying not to act too drunk, she walks in and starts to climb the stairs to my room, I follow close behind her.

I watch as she walks, I can tell she's nervous. Her cheeks are flushed and It takes everything in me not to push her against this railing right now and I kiss her with everything I have.

But I manage to keep my control.

I open my door for her and lets her inside before closing it behind us.

She plays her fingers together nervously as she looks around my familiar room.

She notices the shirt in the trash can before looking at me.

"Do you have a girlfriend?"

"What?"

"I know you told me not to assume anything because people always assume but…It was lipstick on your shirt…wasn't it…"

"Lipstick?! No! Why would I have lipstick!"

I watch as she looks away.

Calm, Christian, Stay Calm.

"I'm sorry…no…I don't have a girlfriend" I sigh moving to the window offering her my hand to help her join me outside on the roof.

She looks at my hand cautiously before taking it.

She actually took it. That's a good sign.

I help her out onto the roof and lets her sit down before I sit next to her.

"Do you want some?" I offer the bottle again.

Fucking idiot.

"No thankyou…." She says quietly before looking at me, "Why are you drinking alone?"

"Oh here come the questions" I groan teasingly.

"Sorry…I…I just get curious I guess, I want to help"

"No one can help me," I say seriously staring out at the street.

"I don't believe that…" She shrugs looking out at the same area as me.

"I watched the sun setting and it made me think of you," I say honestly, "I want to take you back to the viewpoint for a sunset…" I look at her.

Her cheeks blush and she looks down at her hands.

"I'd like that" She smiles and it sends something through my body.

"Are you cold?" I can't stop my eyes as they gaze over her figure. But as I'm gazing, I notice her goosebumps.

She nods.

With that I remove my hoodie handing it to her with a small smile.

"Thankyou," She says quietly as she pulls it over her head.

It looks amazing on her. And fuck it's doing so many things to me. I can imagine making love to her. Having her body mould against mine. Having her moan my name. I feel my dick twitch at the lustful thoughts. Fuck what is this alcohol doing to me. What is she doing to me?

She looks at me, but I see the sadness in her eyes.

"Christian….I know you don't like questions but… I need to know… I can't" She sighs, "I can't keep doing this if you have a girlfriend or something"

I look away. What am I supposed to tell her? Do I tell her the truth and hope she doesn't run for the hills?

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

"I don't have a girlfriend, I don't date"

I say honestly. I mean, It's the truth, right? Or at least it was.

Fuck.

"Okay…" She looks down at her hands and I can feel the sadness.

"What I mean is…I don't…" I look away as if searching for the answer and I feel her gaze on me waiting for me to continue.

"What I mean is, I don't think that's how I feel anymore…I have had… women…" I say truthfully and she looks away embarrassed.

"I see…"

"No Ana…you don't see…" I cup her chin and makes her look up at me, "I don't know how to date…I'm fucked up Ana…" I let her chin gently drop and I look away.

"You're not fucked up Christian…. Talk to me…"

I jump slightly and I shudder when I feel her hand take mine.

"I…I can't…" I keep my gaze away from her. "You deserve better than this….than me…"

She squeezes my hand softly and gazes into my eyes.

"You're not as bad as what you think you are… We all have issues" She says calmly gazing deeply into my eyes.

My eyes scan hers. She's so strong. So Naive. So beautiful.

I need her.

I feel myself being drawn closer to her. I stare at her lips.

Her lips, fuck.

I get to a point where there's no return. I gaze up into her eyes again, letting her pull away if she wants to, but to my surprise, she doesn't.

I press my lips to hers moving my hand to cup the side of her cheek. My fingers tips delving into her hair slightly as I kiss her slow.

I hear her gasp slightly at the contact.

Fuck, should I pull away?

I can tell she's inexperienced.

She still doesn't pull away, instead, I feel her head tilt to the side slightly leaning further into me.

Her lips are soft and mould perfectly against mine.

Fuck, Ana.

I pull back and rests my forehead against hers.

She's breathless, I can tell. I gently stroke my thumb across her cheekbone.

I'm never this tender, I'm never this soft.

I've never felt like this before.

What is she doing to me?

"Are you okay?" I whisper softly, looking down into her eyes but she still has them closed.

She simply nods and I watch as her beautiful blue eyes open and blaze up into mine.

"W-Why did you stop…" She says, her voice barely even a whisper.

Wait? What?

She didn't want to stop. This is good.

My smile grows as I gaze at her in awe, before dipping my head down once more, capturing her lips.

I kiss her slow again, then I take a chance and runs my tongue along her bottom lip.

I feel her gasp slightly allowing her lips to part. I take the opportunity to play my tongue against hers, kissing her a little deeper now. I move my hand to her waist as I keep my other in her hair, cupping her cheek.

She starts to get the rhythm and fuck it's doing so many things to me, but I know I need to take it slow.

She's a good kisser.

I'm drowning.

I'm drowning in emotions I've never had before.

I'm drowning in thoughts I've never had before.

I'm drowning in her.

I pull back letting us both catch some air. Both of us breathlessly sitting on my roof. Our bodies are close but not too close. My hand gently caressing her waist as I gaze into her eyes.

I can feel the smile on my face. It's unnatural to me.

I watch her cheeks flush. She's not used to this.

I hope she doesn't regret it.

What if she does?

She smiles at me gently tucking her hair behind her ear and I can tell she's a little embarrassed.

"Stay with me tonight?"

The words come out before I've even had a chance to think.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9…

I wake the next morning, my smile growing on my face as I gaze out of the window.

I think back to the events of last night.

His lips, His kiss, His touch.

I'm not used to these feeling stirring inside of me.

I feel so overwhelmed.

I'm not the kind of girl to go around kissing guys, or even stay out late with guys, or even….what the heck, I don't do anything of this. Until last night. Until him.

I couldn't resist him.

I felt so nervous, my heart was beating so hard, I felt as though it may come pounding out of my chest. As our lips brushed, I wanted to pull away.

I was scared. I was scared that I wouldn't be good enough for him. I'm not experienced in kissing or any of the other stuff. I've only ever kissed someone once, and it was barely a peck when I was 16. I haven't met anyone I've wanted more with, until now.

He told me last night he's had women before, and I was worried that maybe I wouldn't live up to that expectation.

He was also drunk.

He was so drunk.

But he didn't pull away, he kissed me more.

The way his hand moved to my waist, sending tingles through my whole body. I felt an unnatural feeling between my legs and I found myself leaning into him.

I couldn't get enough of him.

Drunk Christian was different, so different.

He was tender, soft, he spoke more….still not enough, but definitely more.

I turn over looking at my alarm, It's Sunday.

I decided not to stay at Christian's last night. As much as I wanted to, I didn't want people to talk.

I mean, what if Kate saw us the next morning?

Or Mia?

Or his Mom!

I'm not that girl. I have such visions of how dating and love and marriage should go. The novels I read give off such a perfect feeling. But my mind is starting to change. I'm not living back then, everything has changed.

Maybe I should change with it?

But it's not me. I can't be modern. I like being different, I like being me and honestly? In my opinion, if he's true in what he says, then he'll accept me for me.

Same as I would accept him.

Although I didn't stay the night, He did ask me could he take me to watch the sunset, and I'm excited about that.

So on Monday after College, work and my dress fitting with Mia, Christian and I are heading off to the viewpoint he took me to before.

I spend the rest of my Sunday with my Dad. It's nice being just us.

After he picked me up from Christian's that night, he apologized on the way home for being late after he forgot he left the bread in the toaster and had to try to turn the smoke alarm off. I laugh at the image and how could I even be mad at him for not picking me up earlier?

If he had, Christian and I wouldn't have happened. Everything happens for a reason, right?

We go out for breakfast together, He even takes me to the movies. We watch something about superhero's but I'm just happy with my popcorn and his company. My Mom is planning on getting married again soon and honestly? I feel sorry for my Dad, so this time together I really cherish and enjoy.

As much as I enjoy Sunday, I am excited for Monday.

It'll be the first time Christian and I have really gone out together, planned.

I wake earlier on Monday and find myself making a little more of an effort.

I curl my hair, I add a little mascara, just a little before I start to look through my wardrobe deciding on a light blue baby doll skater style dress and my white converse.

My Dad is already out the door and heading to work by the time I make my way downstairs and I'm not feeling like making something myself, so I decided to head to the coffee shop on the way too College.

Should I get him a coffee?

Or is that weird?

What even are we at the moment?

I don't know.

I order a black tea and blueberry muffin.

"I'll get hers…" I voice from behind me cheers. I look up over my shoulder.

Jack Hyde.

"Oh no…it's okay, thank you though…"

"Please, I insist, take it as another apology for my drunken behavior the other week" He winks.

Shit.

I smile appreciatively and nods as he orders himself a black coffee and chocolate muffin before handing over the money.

"Thank you, Jack…you didn't have to"

"I did…I feel awful Ana, I really do…I treated you badly and I apologize, so I'm hoping the muffin will sweet you up a little bit?"

That makes me laugh a little, and I nod accepting.

"Apology accepted, Thankyou" I smile more and he winks.

"Are you walking to College?"

"Yeah, It's not far my house so I tend to walk and get some air" I smile sipping my tea.

"My car is outside, let me give you a ride?"

"Oh no…It's fine, thank you though"

"I insist, I can't let a pretty young lady walk when I have a car right outside, you really do look beautiful today"

I wonder what Christian would think If I did? He doesn't seem to like Jack and I don't want to ruin whatever we have going on right now.

The bell chimes on the door signaling someone entering and I watch as Jack's lips turn into a smirk towards the door.

My heart sinks when I see the figure turn and walk away.

Christian.

"I'm sorry Jack, thanks for the offer though…and thanks for the breakfast" I give him a small smile before rushing out the door.

"Christian! Christian!"

He climbs into his car with a scowl covering his face.

Shit.

"Christian Wait!"

He turns the engine on and looks at me before driving off.

Well, this is great.

I stare up towards the road watching his Prius drive away.

I sigh sadly before making my way towards College. A million thoughts running through my head.

My heart clenching with worry.

I make my way through the halls moving to the first period. Kate and I talk about the dresses for the Gala but my thoughts are honestly elsewhere. Journalism drags. I feel like I've been sat here for 12 hours. I look at the clock then back at the paper in front of me.

I haven't even taken any notes today.

That's not me.

What is wrong with me?

The bell sounds signaling the end of first and the start of Second.

As Kate and I walk through the hall, Mia runs up to us.

"I have to rain check on tonight! There's this fashion thing I have to do for my class and It has to be in tomorrow, can we reschedule for tomorrow?! Pleaaaaaaaase!"

That's perfect for me, maybe Christian and I can leave earlier?

If he still wants to that is.

When I walk into the next class, My heart drops.

Jack is sat in the seat right next to my usual one. I panic a little and I bite my lip.

I like my usual seat but I fear if Christian walks in and sees us sitting together, He will flip his lid.

But why?

I look to where Christian usually sits, and he's not here.

I pretend like I haven't seen Jack and I walk up the steps to the same row Christian normally sits in. I sit there for a while and I can see Jack look at the door. Is he waiting for me?

I'm just glad he didn't see me enter already.

The rest of the class is here and I look at the clock. 2 Minutes late.

Then Mrs. Lincoln walks in and close behind her is Christian.

She gives him a small nod and I watch her move to the front of the class starting to talk to the rest of us.

Christian walks towards me. When he finally looks up he sees me sitting there, his brows furrow further and changes his seat to the row in front.

I look down sadly.

Mrs. Lincoln starts the class but I can't focus.

After everything that happened at the weekend between us, why is he treating me like this?

Jack and I were just talking, surely It can't be from that?

I watch him. The way he slouches there, the way he stares down at the book in his hand. Is he even paying attention to the class?

I pull out my notepad, writing a note.

_'Are we still on for later?' _

I gently tap his shoulder and he looks up annoyed as I drop the letter over his shoulder.

I watch as he opens it and I feel hurt when I watch his large fist crumple it up.

Seriously?

I feel used.

Tears fill my eyes and for the rest of the class, I keep my head down waiting for it to finally end.

The bell rings and I quickly gather my things together pulling my backpack over my shoulder.

Everyone leaves quickly but as I go to move, my backpack rips on the back of the chair, letting my strap pull completely at the seams sending my books hauling to the ground.

Oh great.

I feel his eyes on me as I bend down sadly, I move to my knees gathering up my bag contents.

"Let me help you…"

To my surprise, I look up and he's kneeling opposite me.

I try to hide my sadness by looking down keeping my eyes focussed on my bag.

"Ana…I'm sorry… I just.. I'm a dick I know, I'm sorry, Can we still go tonight and maybe talk?". He picks up my books holding them.

"I'm done with this back and forth Christian, I'm so done…" I stand to my feet in frustration.

"One minute you want me, the next you don't, then you kiss me then you ignore me?…is this a game to you?" I say a little louder than I expected.

He looks at me sadly, is that pain in his eyes?

"Christian…can I speak with you please?"

He's soon brought out of it at the sound of her voice.

He looks at her, then to me.

"Please Ana…" He says quietly like he doesn't want her to hear.

"This is the last time, I swear…. I'm not meeting Mia tonight so I'll be finishing work at 6 so you can pick me up from there…but I mean it, this is the last chance Christian…I can't keep up with this" I say just as quietly and he nods before handing me my books then moving down to the front of the class to Mrs. Lincoln.

That's when I make my leave.

But something in me decides to lurk outside.

I pretend to leave.

Why would she call him over?

I stand at the door and it's cracked open.

Their voices are quiet but I can make out a few words.

"You need to be with me tonight"

"I can't Elena…"

"Be there or else Christian, I mean it"

"Elena…"

"I won't hear it...she's a mousy little thing that isn't going to help you"

Is she talking about me?

What the hell?

"She can't give you what you want, what you need…you need someone else Christian, you have needs"

What the hell is she talking about?!

Is she trying to convince him not to see me?

Is that why he's so on and off?

What needs does he have?

Why does she know about his needs?

I'm so confused.

I walk off quickly, leaving with just my reeling with thoughts of what I heard.

Don't assume Ana. Don't assume.

I spend the rest of the day wishing time would move faster and let my day finish.

College drags.

Work drags.

6 pm comes and I dress back into the clothes I wore to school after changing out of my uniform.

I sit on the bench outside waiting.

Waiting.

Waiting.

Waiting.

Waiting.

Waiting.

7 pm hits and there's no sign of him. The sun has already started setting.

I've had enough of this!

My heart hurts. I can't believe he's done this.

I'm so stupid.

Never again Ana, Never again.

Tears fill my eyes as I start to make my way home, alone.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Thanks to everyone that continues to read my story! I hope you are all still enjoying and will continue to read and review as I continue to update the story. Plenty more chapters to come! Stay Tuned!


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10…

_'Hey, Annie! I'm really sorry but I have to work late tonight and I have a meeting early in the morning so I'm staying at a hotel in Seattle. I'm really sorry! I left you some money in the kitchen, order yourself whatever you want. I'll see you tomorrow, Love you, Dad x' _

I sigh as I read the message just as I'm walking into the house.

Great.

I'm completely alone.

I walk into the house kicking off my shoes before slumping on the sofa and orders a pepperoni pizza, potato wedges, a bottle of coke and garlic bread.

I don't even care, I feel like comfort eating.

Might even have ice cream for dessert, because why not right?

They tell me it'll be delivered within an hour, so I decide to grab a quick shower in an attempt to rid the day.

I sigh letting the water run over my body, simply standing under the water with my eyes closed.

Thinking.

Overthinking.

I fell for him.

In the month I've been here, despite his anger and the way he's treated me, I have feelings for him.

Feeling's I'm not sure about anymore.

I've never experienced anything like it before but I feel numb.

I feel like my heart is barely beating.

After 15 minutes of over thinking and letting the water drown away my thoughts and feelings, I climb out and gets ready for bed.

I pull on my pajamas and my fuzzy socks for comfort.

I make my way downstairs slumping onto the sofa searching through the TV channels.

I come across the notebook.

This seems fitting.

I sigh curling up into the corner of the sofa watching TV waiting for my food to arrive.

10 minutes later there's a loud bang at the door.

PIZZA!

I've never felt so excited to have pizza.

I grab the money on the counter that my Dad left me, before moving to open the door.

My heart stops.

I gasp slightly and I feel frozen in place.

Christian.

Has he been crying?

I look to his hands and they're all bloodied.

He stumbles slightly.

Shit, has he been drinking?

He looks at me and his eyes are glassy, he takes a step towards me but he stumbles backward instead.

I can't do this.

My heart starts to hurt again as I watch him.

I cross my hands over my chest. Be strong Ana, be strong.

"Ana…I…I'm…S-Sorry..." He slurs his words.

"So you keep telling me, but you never do anything to prove it," I say coldly.

"Please…f-forgive me…" He hiccups a little.

It's kind of cute.

No Ana…Don't fall for it.

"I can't do this anymore Christian…. I waited for you! I waited for you for over an hour! You didn't even have the decency to tell me you weren't coming!" I yell as I feel the tears brim in my eyes.

"I'm here now…." He looks at me, his cheeks are a stained red.

"It's a little too late…" I go to close the door but he puts his hand in the way and yelps in pain as I don't realize and pushes the door closed.

Shit.

I quickly reopen the door and he's holding his hand close to his chest and he moves to sit on the step holding his bloodied hand.

"Are you okay? I'm sorry…I didn't mean to… I…"

"I'm sitting here until you agree to talk to me," He says seriously and looks out towards the road.

I bite my lip, looking at him as he sits at my feet. He looks so lost. So broken. So childlike.

Stop it, Ana, he let you down again.

Don't fall for it.

"Come inside, let me clean up your hand…" The words are out of my mouth before I can even contemplate whether this is a good idea.

He looks up at me with a surprised expression.

Yes, I know, I'm to nice for my own good. I internally scold myself but I can't leave him out here bleeding.

He stands and I move the door open a little wider letting him walk past me and into the house.

Just as I'm about to close the door the pizza delivery guy shows up.

Great. I'm starving.

There goes my pizza and movie night.

I hand over the money thanking him with a small smile before heading back inside.

Christian stands awkwardly in the living room as I walk in.

He eyes the boxes curiously and I look away moving to put them on the coffee table.

"I haven't eaten all day… and my Dad is in Seattle, I didn't feel like cooking after the day I've had" I shrug.

"I did this to you…"

"Yes, you did". I say honestly.

He looks at me sadly, his eyes filled with pain and I can see it as clear as day.

I sigh standing and I leave the boxes there before walking to him taking his hand and looking it over.

"Let's get you cleaned up," I say as I escort him to the kitchen gently running his bloodied hand under the water.

I feel him wince at the pain and I look up at him, "Why are you here Christian?".

"I….well.." He sighs, shrugging.

Seriously? The least he could do is give me an explanation.

I dry his hand and lets him keep the towel wrapped around it.

"Well..if you don't know why you're here then you can leave whenever you're ready…"

I say moving back into the living room to my pizza.

"Ana…" He says just before I reach the living and he gently grabs my elbow.

"I can't stay away from you….I…I don't know how to cope with this..whatever this is… I…" He looks away and grinds his jaw together as if it's paining him to be this truthful with me. I look up at him sadly.

"I want to tell you everything…I was going to tell you tonight but... I couldn't. I got angry at myself and so….then this happened…" He holds his hands up gesturing to the bloodiness of them.

I remember his room being smashed up the other evening while I was there, but I thought it was better not to mention it then.

Maybe it's something he does regularly?

I look up at him and he looks away from me as if in shame.

I sigh, You can do this Ana.

"Do you want some pizza?" I say quietly, but to my surprise, he nods.

We move into the living room and we both sit on the sofa beside each other. I take a slice and starts to eat it but he doesn't. He just stares at the box as I watch his eyes turn glossy again.

Is he going to cry?

"I wanted to tell you everything…but I couldn't do it sober.. So I drank…The more I thought of what I wanted to tell you the angrier I got. I don't want you to leave me, but you will…as soon as you know you will, the angrier I got the more I drank, The more I drank, I didn't realize the time and I was late for you… I'm so so sorry…I was coming…I just…I…" He looks away.

I look at him sadly. I put my slice of pizza back into the box and puts my hand on his sadly.

"Christian… I wouldn't leave…Just tell me"

"You will Ana, I know you will…you deserve better than me"

Without even realizing it, my hand moves to his cheek and makes him look at me.

"I promise you If you tell me everything…I won't leave…I need to know Christian, I need to understand you…I can't keep going back and forth and not knowing what I've done wrong".

He stares down into my eyes before looking away, pained.

"Ana…you haven't done anything…ever…y-you…you're perfect in every way" He sighs.

I can see the hurt and anger in his eyes and it makes my heart hurt.

We sit there in silence for a moment, I watch as he stares at the pizza box.

He's thinking.

"My mom….my real Mom was a crack whore…she died of an overdose when I was 5"

Oh my gosh, …he's talking.

He's talking to me.

The start isn't good and I'm sure it doesn't get any better.

I listen to him intently, I listen to him sadly. My heart hurts for him.

I imagine a small 5-year-old Christian.

"I was there with her body for 3 days before someone called it in, that's all I know… She used to have pimps around all the time. But there was one specific one… He was angry. He drank, he abused, he smoked. He used to smoke a cigarette and when he would light it, I'd run off to find a safe place in the house, but there were no safe places... he'd always find me" He clenches his hands together tightly.

I reach over putting my hand over his and he takes it between his hands gently.

"He used to use me as an ashtray… I have burns on my chest, my back, my legs…" He looks down, "I'm sure you can put the rest together…"

I move a little closer to him.

Oh my gosh.

Christian.

"Grace was my Doctor at the hospital… she was the only person I would let touch me. I don't like people touching me…there are areas of my body…that…that burn when people touch me. I can still feel the burns." He looks back at me "I wouldn't talk to anyone, but Grace, My Mom, she was nice… She was the first person I trusted after everything, I went into foster care because that's what had to happen, but within 6 months Grace adopted me and took me home"

I gently stroke my thumb over his knuckles in the hope to soothe him.

"I was a dick to her, I still am, her, Elliot, my dad, the only person I would talk to was Mia, and to this day I have no idea why"

"You're protective of her," I say quietly and he nods in agreement.

"The older I got, the worse I got…I got into fights, I got suspended and expelled from school, I just got angrier and angrier and I hated the world….I still do…" He looks down sadly.

"A woman came along and thought she could…she could help me…"

Oh gosh no. Is this…Is this what I think it is?

I take a deep breath bracing myself.

"She showed me a way to…to relieve my anger…it helped…I started when I was 16, she was older and so experienced, She was my friend…is my friend…"

I close my eyes and my stomach clenches.

He doesn't even have to say it, I know it.

"She would introduce me to girls and women…and…" He looks away as if he's disgusted. "You're going to leave me now…"

I shake my head and I gently squeeze his hand.

"No…I made a promise I wouldn't"

He looks at me as if surprised but I can still see the glossiness of his eyes.

"Since I met you…it's all changed. I don't want any of that anymore…it doesn't help…but somehow I can't stop it. She's always there, we need each other… but…The moment I met you, you calmed something in me and you didn't even try…I didn't need to fuck you for you to help my anger, you did it with just your smile, or your laugh, the way you saw me in a way no one else did"

I scrunch my nose up at his foul words and I look away. He realizes what he's said and when he sees my face, he cups my cheek making me look back up at him.

"I didn't mean that I'm sorry…You're so innocent and naive and fuck…you're so beautiful…I want to be good for you Ana…I…I…"

I gaze up into his eyes, they're pleading with me. My heart clenches in my chest as I listen to him.

He's opened up so much to me tonight, I know it's because he's been drinking but he's told me everything. I want to keep asking questions but I don't want to push him too far. He's already let so much out.

I can't throw him out now, but I do have a lot to think about.

Can I do this?

Could I do this?

Now I know everything…

He says he can't stop with her, so where does that leave me?

Would he ever stop?

What am I supposed to think about this?

I have no idea.

My head is spinning.

"Please say something…." He looks at me worriedly and I realize I've been quiet for too long.

"I…I…thankyou for telling me…"

"Are you still mad at me?" He sounds like a hurt child. It makes me think of the 5-year-old Christian he just told me about.

"Yes…a little…but, I appreciate your honesty and for telling me everything"

He nods and looks away as if he's thinking.

"Does….Does..anyone else know about her?"

"Who?"

"Mrs. Robinson?" I try to make a joke and I actually hear him laugh.

"I'll tell her you said that she'd love it"

"Y-You're still going to see her?"

He shrugs slightly, "You don't understand…I…I can't not"

"Christian…she's basically a child abuser…you can't…"

He looks away again as if he's hurting, his jaw clenches together.

"She helped me, Ana, you have to understand that"

"I think she used you to her advantage… does your mom know?"

"My mom? Of course not! No one knows this…just you.." He looks at me worriedly, "Just you Ana".

Great.

What a secret to know.

What am I supposed to do now?

"You can't tell anyone…" He says clenching his fists.

"I won't but you need to stop it Christian… you need to…"

"I can't"

"Then… I guess you'll have to make that choice. I'll keep your secret Christian, I promise you that….but I can't be the girlfriend, not if you're going to continue whatever it is you're doing…"

"Ana…please…" He cups my cheek pleading with me. But I shake my head.

"I can't Christian…I told you before, I can't do this if there's someone else… I have dreams, I want a future…but I can't do that, I can't do this…" I gesture between us.

"I need you… I want you…I've never felt, this way, I want this, I want you"

"How much do you want it Christian? I'm here… this is your choice, but I can't keep getting hurt in the process".

He nods slightly and he rests his forehead against mine.

"What are you doing to me?" He whispers and he leans down as if he's about to kiss me but I pull back and I shake my head.

"I can't Christian… we both need to think and figure this out"

"You're not leaving?" He asks sadly.

I shake my head, "I'm not leaving…even if we just have to be friends…"

"I don't think I can just be friends with you"

That internally makes me smile. Will he change? Will he end it with her?

"Do you want to stay tonight? On the couch? I don't want you wandering around this late alone, and you've been drinking"

I'm way too nice for my own good.

"I'd like that If that's okay.."

I nod agreeing.

We sit there for a while longer and digs our way through the food. We talk about school. The future. Careers. Normal conversation.

A conversation I think was needed after everything he just told me. I can't believe it.

He didn't say her name but I know. I know It's her. He doesn't have to say her name for me to know exactly who has corrupted him.

I notice how he's sobered up a little since he first arrived.

After a while, I yawn softly and he smiles watching me.

"You're cute when you're tired," He says and I'm not sure it was even meant to come out of his mouth, but it makes me blush and I look away.

"You're so beautiful…men must have thrown themselves at you"

"Never one I've wanted" I look at him. His eyes gaze into mine and we sit there in silence for a moment but I shake my thoughts away.

"I'll uhh…I'll go and get you some blankets and a pillow"

I head upstairs and by the time I come back down, he's removed his shirt.

My mouth goes dry.

I watch his muscle move under his skin, then I notice the scars. The burn scars he spoke of.

It pains me to think of the torture he went through.

"Enjoying the view?" He smirks playfully and I look down embarrassed, I've been caught.

"Sorry…I…here you go.." I hand him everything.

"Thank you" He smiles appreciatively.

"I'll see you in the morning then…" We both nod and I make my way upstairs climbing into bed.

That night was unexpected.

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	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11…

My alarm brings me out of my dreams and I groan in frustration.

I feel so tired and honestly, I need more time in bed.

I sigh rolling over and gaze out of my window before my eyes widen and I quickly climb out of bed.

Shit. Christian is here.

The memories of last night come flooding back.

He spoke to me. He told me everything.

He told me he wants me.

Although, I still struggle in believing that. He's handsome and girls fall at his feet, and well I'm just me.

I wonder if he's already awake.

Shit.

I quickly start to get ready. I pull on a pair of jeans and a white and red striped t-shirt.

I straighten my hair and apply a small amount of makeup.

I make my way downstairs quietly and opens the door to my living room, but to my surprise, he's not there.

"Christian?" I call out but there's no answer.

Great.

He's already gone.

I sigh looking to the sofa and the blanket is folded and the pillow rested on top of it.

I can't believe he just left.

Has he gone to her?

He wouldn't. Would he?

Then, out of my thoughts, I notice something out of the corner of my eye.

There's a note on the coffee table with my name on it.

I look at it curiously before reaching for it and opening it.

_Ana, _

_I'm sorry I left but I didn't want to wake you. I woke up at 5 and couldn't get back to sleep so I've headed home to shower and get ready for College. _

_Meet me at the coffee shop when you're ready. Breakfast is my treat. Only if you want to of course._

_Thank you for letting me stay and for listening without judgment. I'll hopefully see you soon. _

_Ps_

_I don't have your number yet So I would have text instead, but I guess this note will do. Hopefully, by next time, I'll have your number. _

My heart flutters a little. He wrote me a note. That's kind of adorable, I didn't think people did that kind of stuff these days.

I quickly gather my things together, a little excitedly.

I know I shouldn't get my hopes up but maybe this time, it'll work out.

He trusts me.

If he didn't trust me, he wouldn't have told me everything.

I look in the mirror before making my leave. Walking down towards the coffee shop.

I'm a little nervous. I bite my lip and plays my fingers together in front of me before taking a deep breath and opens the door.

The bell at the door chimes and his head shoots up from the corner of the room.

He's been waiting for me.

He gives me a small smile and I make my way over to the small table.

I can see the teacup and the blueberry muffin placed beside it and my smile grows.

"Black tea and blueberry muffin right?" He rubs the back of his neck nervously.

I nod grinning at him and takes the seat opposite.

"Thankyou….it's perfect" I lift the teacup in my hand and sips softly.

It's quiet. There's a little tension between us but nothing too major. He gazes at me.

Really gazes at me.

I feel my cheeks flushing a bright pink and I slowly push a stray curl behind my ear.

"I just wanted to apologize for my behavior…and I wanted to do it sober" He gives a small smile looking down at his black coffee.

"Thank you…Apology accepted…and thank you again for breakfast" I smile, earning a smile from him too.

He's so handsome when he smiles.

"How is your head feeling? Did you sleep okay?"

He shrugs a little.

"As good as it can be, I've had worse… and I don't really sleep much, I get…uhm…nightmares too often so I tend to not sleep anyway"

I look at him sadly and I nod understanding.

"Sorry I left without saying anything…" He looks at me and I shake my head.

"It's okay, you left a note… and actually folded the blanket, I'm impressed" I smirk teasingly causing him to laugh.

"Plus next time you'll be able to text me…" I hold out my hand for his phone.

"What? Really?" He looks surprised and I nod giggling softly.

He hands me his iPhone and I enter my phone number before handing it back to him.

His lips turn into a wide grin and it makes me smile.

He seems so much more at ease. So much calmer.

"So…. I uh…" He rubs the back of his neck which I've come to realize is a nervous thing.

"I know you're invited to my Mom and Dad's Gala thing… and I know Mia is designing your dress, and Kate's… I normally don't make an appearance to the events, but I was wondering…if…maybe you uhh… you'd want to go with me?" He looks down nervously clenching his cup in his hands.

I'm a little shocked.

Is he asking me to be his date?

Does he want to be seen with me? In front of his family? Friends?

Wow.

His brows furrow a little when I'm silent for too long.

"It's fine, never mind….silly idea…"

I reach across the table putting my hand on his with a small smile.

"Sorry, …you just took me a little by surprise… I would love to go with you if you want me to".

He nods and returns the smile.

"I'm not good at this, dating stuff… I'm just kind of going off books I've read…I know we're not dating yet, you need to think and figure it out…and I'm okay with that, but I'm going to try… try and show you I can be different" He rubs his neck again nervously and I giggle.

"Well… you're doing pretty well so far" I smile reassuringly.

The bell signals another person entering. I look up at Christian and I see his brows furrow slightly.

I look over my shoulder.

Jack.

Great.

He looks overseeing us and I look back to Christian who has suddenly gone rigid again. I gently squeeze his hand reassuringly and he looks up at me.

What he said last night about me calming him seems to be working. I'm actually witnessing it now.

He squeezes my hand when Jack makes his way over to the table but soon drops my hand before Jack can see.

I take a small chunk of muffin starting to eat it.

"Well! Look who's here" Jack says with a smirk.

"Fuck off Jack" Christian replies coldly.

"I've come to talk to Ana, actually" He looks to me putting his hand on the back of my chair and I watch as Christian's eyes narrow.

Not today Jack, Not today.

"So I'm having a party Friday at the Frat house…everyone's invited. Kate is coming, Hannah, Jose, Even Mia…you should totally come! Frat parties are the best"

Christian scoffs at his words shaking his head.

"Pay no mind to Mr. Boring over here…he's not the party type" Jack smirks.

"I uhh…I'll think about it, thank you for the invite" I nod giving a small smile.

"Oh come on! You have to come! It won't be the same without you"

"She said she'll think about it Hyde, so why don't you just back off" Christian scoffs.

Shit. What is up with them?

"I'll see you Friday, Ana…by the way, you look beautiful today" He nods smiling and puts his hand on my shoulder before leaving the coffee shop.

Christian stands with such a force the table moves bumping against the wall a little, spilling our drinks.

I bite my lip standing to move right in front of him.

"Hey….Hey…" I gently take his elbow, trying to calm him making him look at me.

He gazes down into my eyes angrily. His nostrils flaring. But I gently stroke his arm and eyes visibly soften.

"Can I drive you to College?"

I nod smiling.

The drive to College is nice. He's playing his usual dark and mysterious music but I simply roll down the window gazing out at the sidewalk.

"At least I can't run you over while you're in my car" He smirks playfully.

I narrow my eyes teasingly and looks over at him.

"Watch your wheels"

He laughs.

"I was such a dick your first day…I'm sorry" He smiles softly and I nod accepting.

He's very apologetic today.

"It's okay…it's not so bad… stupid freshman huh?" I smirk more.

"Okay...Okay..in my defense, you were new, I'd never seen you before and well freshman do dumb shit so…"

I narrow my eyes more crossing my eyes, "Are you saying I did dumb shit that reminds you of freshmen?" I smirk.

"Sometimes…" He laughs more and I laugh with him. "I'm teasing…" He smiles reassuringly.

He pulls up outside of College and before he climbs out he looks at me.

Really looks at me. So intently I feel like he's thinking.

"Are you okay?"

He nods, "I..I'd just I'd like to kiss you again…one day…when you're ready" He smiles nervously.

I'd like to kiss him too.

The first and last kiss we had blown me away. But as tempted as I am, I gaze at his lips then back up into his eyes.

"I think we should take things slow…for now…decide what we really want and what happens, happens" I smile reassuringly.

He nods, "I can go slow…also…It's over…"

"Over?" I look curious.

"I want to be good for you…everything else, it's over… It's you I want to make the effort with now and I'll do everything I can to prove it to you, I promise"

My heart flutters at his words.

Did he break it off with her?

What happened?

But me? He's chosen me? Why?

We head into College. The day goes by pretty quickly.

I feel. Happier. I feel like a weight has lifted.

When I walk into English Lit, Christian is sat in my row. My smile grows.

He's sitting here? With me? Even when she's going to see…

That gives me hope.

Jack enters and frowns a little seeing there's no space beside me and I watch as Christians lips turn into a smirk.

We wait.

And wait.

And wait.

But no one turns up to teach us.

Where is Mrs. Lincoln?

We all sit there for a while longer and people start to leave. I look to Christian who seems to be a little on edge now looking at his watch, then his phone. Continuing this act for a while.

"Shall we head off for an early lunch?" I say but he doesn't answer. His head is somewhere else.

"Christian?"

"Wh-What?" He finally looks at me.

"Shall we head for an early lunch?"

"Uh..yeah sure…I just have to grab something from my car but I'll meet you there okay?"

Oh, no….

I nod in an answer and gives a small smile.

He's going to go too her.

I just know it.

My heart races but I push the feeling down trying to calm it.

"I'll see you soon then" I stand grabbing my bag and makes my way to the cafeteria.

When I arrive Kate and Elliot are already there and Jose opposite.

I move to sit beside Jose and they all start talking about Jack's party on Friday.

"Ana, what are you wearing?" Kate smiles at me.

"I'm not too sure I'm going yet…"

"What? Oh, come on you have to! We all are! Come over mine to get ready again" She grins excitedly.

I find myself accepting the offer.

It's just a party…right?

What could go wrong?

I'm pulled from my thoughts as Mia perches next to me grinning.

"Did he ask you yet?" She whispers

"What? Who?"

"Christian of course!" She laughs, "He came to me this morning asking for girl advice…I knew he was talking about you" She smiles biting into an apple.

"Mom and Dad want him to come to the Gala…so I gave him a hint that maybe…it could be a date"

My cheeks flush a bright pink.

Oh my gosh, Mia knows.

He went to Mia asking for advice. On Me!

This is a good sign, right?

Do I agree? Do I tell her he did?

I blush more.

"He bought breakfast and asked me this morning"

She squeals in excitement and wraps her arms me and everyone looks at us.

Urrrch I hate attention and my cheeks blush further.

"What's going on over there?!" Kate looks over curiously.

"Tell you later!" Mia winks, "Dress fitting straight from school! Christian said he'll drive us home" She smirks and gives me a sly wink.

This is going to be a long day.

I laugh smiling.

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Apologies for my lack of update. I lost a little motivation to write after receiving some harsh reviews. But I'm continuing on and hoping the rest of you will continue to enjoy the story.

I have plenty of Drama planned ahead, Some great ideas and I hope you all stick around.

Big thank you to everyone following and reviewing my story so far. You're all amazing!

Keep enjoying!

Keep reviewing!

Stay Tuned!

PS, for the comments made about the Christian and Elena issue, once again, IF you have read the fifty shades trilogy, you will know that Christian and Elena had a thing...This story is showing that in a different light. It's a similar version but with a different twist. So please stop with the 'child abusing' comments because it happened in the real version and if you didn't like it in the real version, then why read a fan fiction with Elena clearly tagged in Characters.

But despite this, I hope most of you are enjoying the story and will continue to do so as I continue their journey.

Thankyou


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12…

Fuck. She's so beautiful

I can't get enough of her.

The way she sips her tea. The way she nibbles her blueberry muffin.

It's taking everything in me not to launch over this damn table and kiss her with all I have.

Instead, I take the gentleman approach and smiles and makes small talk.

I'm finding it difficult.

I'm not used to this kind of attraction. I'm not used to feeling this way, but I find myself revelling in her company.

I want her around all the time and I'll do whatever it takes to make her mine.

Jack fucking Hyde.

He better back the fuck off though.

Our pasts keep catching up with us when it comes to this kind of stuff. Jack still hates me for what happened all those years ago, even though, I'm pretty sure there was nothing I could do about it.

He's after Ana now, I just know it. Which makes it even harder for me to try and be what Ana needs.

The way he gazed down at her. The way he put her hand on his shoulder.

I just want to rip his fucking head right off his shoulders.

I hope she doesn't go to that damned party! And even if she does, I'll be there at her side.

Fuck it!

I stood up quickly ready to start a fight with him for touching her.

Visions of the old party going through my mind when he tried to take it further with her.

I refuse to ever let that happen to her ever again.

My blood is boiling, coursing through my body quickly.

Fuck, this hurts. Emotions hurt.

But to my surprise, she takes my elbow. She gazes up at me and I find myself lost in her piercing blue eyes once again.

I can't and I won't ever lose her. I can't.

As I'm driving to college I can't help but take glances over at her.

The way her hair blows in the wind. The way her lips curl into a beautiful smile.

Those fucking lips.

I want to feel them against mine again.

She's fucking perfect.

The way she laughs at my joke attempts, they're not even funny, but she laughs anyway.

The first period goes pretty slow, Business is boring.

Business is about people and understanding people, nothing of which this class teaches me. But unfortunately for me, I need it for my future plans.

I start to think about things I can do with Ana. To get her to trust me again.

Maybe the movies?

I'll definitely take her back to the viewpoint for sunset.

Maybe even a sunrise too, if she's a morning person.

My mind reels through everything I can with her.

I mean Everything. I want her to be mine completely. I start thinking about her lips and the way she kissed me back, she's inexperienced, but it was even more of a turn on. I think she's still a virgin and I hope one day she'll trust me enough to share that with me.

I keep my eyes at the clock impatiently waiting for the second period to be reunited with Ana. Finally, the bell rings.

I am a little nervous though, It's Elena's class.

Before going to Ana's last night I called her. I called her telling her I wanted no more.

She spat out a bunch of shit about Ana not being what I need, But I know, She is EVERYTHING I need.

She hung up on me after my attempts and I figured that was it.

It's over, I can be with Ana.

But we wait…

And wait….

And wait…

And Elena never shows up to class.

Shit.

What is she doing?

Is she okay?

Has something happened?

Fuck.

I start to panic as I sit next to Ana and I see her trying not to look my way.

She can sense I'm on edge, I just know it.

She's figured it out I know that. I know she knows its Elena, But I couldn't come to give her the name officially.

She's not a stupid girl, she knows.

She fucking knows.

My legs start to tap on the floor nervously, I pull my phone out of my pocket.

Fuck, a missed call from her.

"Christian?"

Her angelic voice brings me out of my panic and I look at her.

"Shall we get an early lunch?"

I want to.

I should go with her.

But I need to know where Elena is and if she's okay.

I'd never forgiven myself if anything happened to her and I wasn't there.

"I'll meet you there okay?"

She knows I'm lying,…and it breaks my heart to do it. But I can't see her disappointed face again, it hurts too much.

Her eyes droop sadly and she nods, but her lips give me a fake smile.

Ana, I'm sorry. I say inside of my head as I watch her walk out of the room.

Where the fuck is she?

I call her as I start to walk out towards my car. But there's no answer.

Fuck sake Elena.

What if she tells Mom?

What if she tells the Principal?

Shit.

What if she tells everyone.

She wouldn't?

She couldn't?

All these thoughts speed through my head causing a dizzy spell.

I rest against my car, trying her phone again but as I look around worriedly, I see her.

She's sitting in her car with someone.

Who's that?

I narrow my eyes trying to focus on the second figure on the car.

Well, Fuck. It's Leila.

Why the fuck has she missed a class to sit in a car with fucking Leila?!

I clench my fists together annoyed.

Elena introduced me to Leila a while ago, she said she wanted me to have someone my own age.

Well, now I have Ana, but apparently, she's not what I need and for some odd reason Elena hates her.

Why? I have no idea.

Well, you fucking know what? Leila isn't what I want. She was fun, but it meant nothing. She wanted more, I didn't.

But Ana, I want and I need her.

I wait by my car watching them. Leila climbs out of her car and Elena hugs her.

She fucking hugs her.

What the fuck?

Leila walks off with a nod and Elena spots me.

I look at her sternly, my usual scowling face.

She makes her way over and I cross my arms over my chest.

"You weren't in class," I say coldly.

"I was dealing with a student matter, I informed the Principal of the matter"

"You mean Leila? Why?" I glare. I can feel my nostrils flaring in anger.

"She had an issue and wanted to speak with me, she trusts me" She starts to walk away.

"Why did you call me?" I look curiously.

"It doesn't matter anymore…you made it very clear we are over and that's fine" She turns to look at me.

"That's fine?" I look curiously, she sure as hell didn't accept it last night, so why is she accepting it now?

She simply nods, "Yes Christian, I knew one day you'd want to stop, We can always be friends" She smiles, "Plus, I and your mom are close, so you'll still see me around, we need to be civil at least"

"You're not going to..tell Mom about…us? Right?"

"Should I?" She smirks.

"You fucking dare Elena and I swear…" I start to grow angry, I'm not sure I can control it any longer.

"Oh shush, I'm not going to tell her…but you're little Ana won't be so keen to stick around you when she knows" She laughs moving to her car opening it and climbing in, I quickly move following her standing beside the door and I watch as she winds the window down.

"Leave Ana the fuck alone! She's done nothing to you! And she already knows I told her!" I shout angrily.

"Oh sweetie, I'm not talking about us… but you'll find out soon enough too" She smirks and speeds off.

I'll find out what?

What the fuck is she talking about?

Fuck.

I run my hand through my hair in frustration as I watch her speed off down the road.

I turn in the hope to find Leila still lurking around but she's gone.

Great.

Why the fuck were they together?

What the hell is going on?

Should I go back in and find Ana?

I sigh not knowing what to do. I want to punch something. Or someone. Maybe going back to find Ana right now wouldn't be the best decision I've made today, not being this angry. But I need her. I'm torn between going back inside or driving away. If could go back in hoping she can calm me down but if she can't I just know I'll make things worse between us and I can't push her away anymore.

I pull out my phone texting her,

_Ana, It's Christian, I'm not feeling too well so I'm heading home for the rest of the day. If you're still seeing Mia tonight for your dress fitting, then hopefully I'll see you later. I'm sorry. C x _

As I climb into my car, I'm about to speed off when my phone goes off with a message.

_I hope you feel better soon. A_

I sigh and pounds into my steering wheel. She's blunt. Her message is blunt. I've never texted her before so I'm not sure of that's just the way she writes or whether she's disappointed.

I hope she comes around tonight.

Fuck, I need to apologize to her again.

I speed home annoyed and frustrated.

Elena's POV…

"You want him back don't you?" I say to her as she sits in my car.

She nods, "I miss him, but he's made it very clear he doesn't want me" She looks down sadly.

"Well, What if I offer you a way you could maybe get him back? We have to work together on this. You want him back and I want him away from that mousy little thing before she influences him too much. She's not good enough for our Christian, Leila, we need to get rid of her"

I watch as she looks out of the window thinking.

Hurry up Leila, I don't have all day.

"If I do this, You know he'll take me back?"

"I can assure you, If you do this, he won't be able to leave you"

She looks down at her hands and then back up to me

"What is it I have to do?"

My lips curl into the biggest smirk.

My plan is going to work.

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Thank you for all the support and messages I've read so far! I really appreciate every single one of them!

I hope you keep reading and enjoying!

Updates to follow!


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13…

"Are you okay?" I watch him.

He's completely elsewhere and away with his thoughts. Since the moment he walked out of the class when Mrs. Lincoln failed to turn up, he hasn't been the same. He's been on edge.

We've spent some time together this week, mainly with Elliot, Kate, and Mia. But some time is better than no time, Right?

When he's occupied he's fine but when he's left to his thoughts he drifts away.

It's currently Friday and we have Jack's house party tonight. Maybe that's why he's elsewhere? He doesn't want to go?

But surely, that wouldn't cause him to be so off.

He's not even angry, he's just plain. It kind of scares me.

What happened?

He ignores me when I talk to him and he continues to stare off into the diner.

"Christian?" I whisper, I reach under the table discretely while Mia and Kate are engrossed in conversation and Elliot stuffs his face with his burger, and I gently squeeze his hand. He jumps at my touch and he turns back to look at me.

"Wh-what?"

"Are you okay?" He nods slightly and to my surprise, he laces our fingers under the table. My eyebrows raise in surprise as I look down at our entwined hands.

What is this about?

This is something he's never done before.

My heart flutters at his touch and he gently strokes his thumb across my knuckles.

I can't control my body when he does sweet things like this. This is the Christian I want, but can I deal with the rest?

"Yeah, I'm just really tired, I haven't slept all week" He smiles sadly and I nod.

"Is there anything I can do to help?"

"Unless you feel like staying the night with me tonight after the party…" His lips curl into a smile, "Or we could just not go to the party and just be us?" He grins and I laugh softly.

"Everyone thinks we're going now…we can't drop out"

"Fuck everyone else" He smirks and gently strokes his thumb over my knuckles again, sending shivers through my body.

Oh Christian, what are you doing to me.

"Can you two stop making googly eyes at each other now and just kiss already…" Kate smirks as she steals one of Elliot's fries.

My cheeks blush the brightest red and once we're caught, Christian let's go of my hand so I lift it resting both my elbows on the table, resting my chin on them and laughs nervously.

I could die of embarrassment.

"been there, done that" Christian mumbles as he sips from his coke, just as I've sipped my lemonade which makes me start coughing when it goes down the wrong way hearing his words.

But I don't think the others heard.

Luckily.

Oh, wait…Except for Mia, she definitely did. The way she's smirking at me with a knowing grin. I bite my lip and my cheeks blush more.

He laughs softly.

I love hearing his laugh.

"Christian and Ana are going to the Gala together," Mia says as she starts to dig into her own food.

"What?!" Kate and Elliot's eyes widen.

"Wait…you're actually coming to the Gala this time? Does Mom know?!" Elliot looks at him in shock.

"It's not a big deal and no Mom doesn't know yet" Christian shrugs, I can see he's getting a little uncomfortable. He hates people knowing his business, but they were going to find out sooner or later, right?

"Mom is going to love having you there…" Mia simply smiles at him. I love the bond that they have.

He rolls his eyes, "Yeah…whatever…" His defense is coming back up and I don't want it to, this is too much information sharing for him and I find myself understanding him more and more.

The more time we spend together, the more I'm understanding when he's relaxed, angry, defensive.

It's strange to me, but I've never been this way with anything.

I've never wanted more with anyone either.

I guess I am attracted to him and it's about time I admitted it to myself.

And honestly? I'm not sure how much longer I can resist him. I just need to know there's no one else.

He has a past which I can accept, but I can't be a backup plan or a girl on the side.

I just hope he's willing to give it up.

I watch Kate's hand dipped under the table and I notice as Elliot's lips turn into a grin. She leans towards him and kisses him. Mia makes a gagging noise at them and Christian looks away awkwardly.

He's definitely not a PDA kind of guy. Luckily, neither am I.

"So, Kate and I are going to head off…I suggest you don't come back to the house for at least an hour" Elliot smirks and wriggles his eyebrows.

"Eww Elliot, just go!" Mia groans rolling her eyes and Christian looks away from the conversation.

"We'll see you later for the party, Ana you're still coming over to get ready right?"

"Yeah, I'll come by later" I smile nodding.

"Why don't you guys get ready at ours again? Saves Kate leaving and heading home and we can all go together?" Elliot looks at Kate, then to me as he moves his arm around her shoulders and I nod.

"Sounds good to me"

"I can drive you" Christian looks to me and I nod.

"Perfect thank you…" I smile and he looks into my eyes just for a moment and it sends a spiraling feeling through my body.

Oh gosh, what is he doing to me?

"Perfect, we'll see you guys later"

They make their leave and Mia smiles at us, "Well, I'm going to go shopping, I'll see you guys later too" She winks at me. I know what she's doing, she's leaving us alone.

Secretly, I'm glad, I just hope Christian feels the same.

Christian nods at her, "Do you want a ride to the mall?".

"Oh no I'll be fine, thanks though, See ya later!" She smiles waving as she walks off.

There's a little tension now.

Just the two of us sitting here.

"Do you have any plans before the party?" I say trying to break the silence.

"Nothing planned, but we could do something?" He rubs the back of his neck, again, his nervous habit, it makes me smile.

"I'd like that"

"Really?"

I smile more nodding.

"There's a park around the corner? Maybe we could just walk? I know how long you girls take to get ready before parties, so…" He smirks. Playful Christian is back!

"Hey! Maybe I'm not like other girls…" I smirk teasingly.

"Oh Ana, I already know that…" He smiles gazing into my eyes just for a moment. His grey eyes are piercing and enticing. I find myself getting lost in them every time he looks at me.

"Come on let's go" He smiles standing and offers me his hand.

I take it willingly and to my surprise, he keeps it in his hand as we walk down the block.

This is so unnatural to me, I've never done this before and honestly? I'm guessing he hasn't either, but I can see he's trying his hardest.

He's really trying for me and it melts my heart.

I just need to know it's all over and then, maybe we can give it a go.

I can try to be what he needs too, but until I know, I can't put myself in that position.

We make our way through the gates of the park and it's beautiful. I didn't even know it existed until now. I smile as we walk through a long row of trees. They whistle and swish as the winds move through the branches of leaves.

I can feel his gaze on me, he's watching me. It makes me blush but I pretend not to notice his gaze. He gently squeezes my hand and I look up just as he's looking around the park.

I look curious and he starts talking. That's when I realize he's checking that there's no one around before he starts.

"So… I was thinking about you, and about me, and about us…I've been thinking so much…" He keeps his gaze forward as he talks, he seems too nervous to look at me.

"okay?"

"And well… I just want to let you know that it's all over…everything I told you, I'm stopping it all… It's been all that I've known for such a long time, but now I've seen what I really want" He looks at me.

"After I left class, I thought maybe you'd never speak to me again…and that hurt"

I watch him sadly and he looks at me.

"I left there to go and see someone, yes, but it wasn't what you think. I was worried something had happened and I got scared...I was breaking it off… I had broken it off earlier, but I just wanted to make sure it would stay secret…It's all over Ana… I just want you, I want us to try, and I hope one day you'll give me that chance"

Oh, my poor heart.

He actually did it?

They're no more?

I'm actually shocked. I had hoped he might break it off, but something in me forever worried it would never happen.

"Really? I-It's over?"

He nods and stops me, we're stood just underneath a blossom tree. He takes both my hands and stands in front of me.

"I promise you, it's over, I want to be good for you... If you'll have me"

My heart melts and I gaze up at him.

"Can I ask you something… "

"Anything…"

"Was it Mrs. Lincoln?"

I say nervously, I feel my blood rush through my body as the words come out of my mouth. I watch as his jaw clenches at the name. I knew it. He looks away like as if he's ashamed but he seems to keep my hands in his, just tighter.

"Hey, …it's not your fault…" I remove my one hand from him and I reach up gently cupping his face making him look at me.

"Does anyone else know? Your mom? Mia?"

"What? No of course not, Please Ana, you can't say anything…she'll lose her job, her life, she's my Mom's best friend"

I knew it.

Shit, I was hoping it wouldn't be true. But it is. That absolute bitch.

I feel my own anger rising in my body for him. She seduced him. She's used him. He's so broken and hurt and, shit. Now I know, It hurts more. I feel so sorry for him.

"Christian, she deserves to lose all of that, she's seduced you, you're so young…she's a teacher…it's so so wrong"

I can see him start to panic and I gently run my thumb across his cheekbone.

"I'm not going to tell anyone Christian, I promise, but one day, maybe you will" I gaze up at him sadly and he relaxes slightly with my touch.

"I don't want people to think differently of me" He looks down sadly.

I understand him. I do. But I think one day, this needs to come out.

My poor Christian.

I gently stroke his cheek and makes him look at me again.

"I don't think differently of you, I think you're brave for ending it"

His lips curl into a small sad smile.

"I don't want to push you into anything quickly, I know it's all just happened and everything is a mess…I'm a mess, but I hope you give me a chance Ana".

I nod smiling, "Let's see what happens….and thank you for telling me the truth, It means you trust me"

"I think I do more than just trust you, Ana…" He whispers softly.

He gazes down at me, I feel him relax, He gazes into my eyes. Then my lips.

Oh gosh. I can't resist him. I can't.

Why?!

He leans down a little, My heart starts to race. I gaze up at him and he moves a little closer. He gives me the option to pull away but I can't, I don't.

His lips gently brush mine and I feel his lips curl into a smile against mine.

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	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14…

Christian drives us all to Jack's party. I'm sat in the passenger's seat and Kate, Elliot, and Mia are all in the back as he drives.

He keeps gazing over at me and I blush, smiling.

I don't think I'll ever stop blushing from his gaze.

He smiles and looks back out at the road.

When we arrive there are already tons of people here and I start to feel a little anxious. I've heard about these frat parties and none of them sounded like it was my type of scene.

Luckily, Christian and I can just keep ourselves to ourselves while everyone else drinks and enjoys the party.

Mia, Elliot, and Kate all started drinking at the house, but Christian and I decided against it.

Especially me. After last time, I don't ever want to repeat that feeling.

As we enter the house the smell of weed and alcohol poisons my nostrils and I scrunch my nose up a little.

This really isn't my scene what so ever. Why did I agree to come here again?

I wish I had taken Christian up on his offer of just spending time together.

"Hey Hey! Look who turned up!" Jack slurs drunkenly as he approaches us.

I feel Christian's hand slip around my waist, and honestly? It makes me feel safe and I enjoy the feeling.

I lean into his touch and my smile grows as I feel his lips come into contact with the top of my head in a peck of a kiss.

"Of course we turned up, jackass, why wouldn't we?" Mia rolls her eyes as sassy as ever and it makes me giggle slightly.

Jack laughs, high and drunk, not even having a clue what's going on.

My phone starts to ring in my bag and I quickly pull it out looking at the screen, Christian looking down at it too.

My Mom?

That's weird.

"Hey, I'm going to head outside to take this…I'll be right back" I smile up at him.

"Do you want me to come with you?"

"It's okay, I'll be fine" I smile reassuringly.

He gives me a nod and leans down pecking my lips, "I'll go and grab us some water", I nod smiling pecking back before heading back out onto the front porch out of the smoke and music to answer.

"Mom?"

"Oh, my Annie! How are you, baby? It's been so long!"

"Hey Mom, yeah it's been a while…"

Maybe because you rarely call?

"I miss you, sweetheart, how are you? Where are you? It sounds pretty loud"

"I'm fine Mom, yeah I'm at a party"

"A party? That doesn't seem like you Annie, Are you okay?"

She sounds worried? Really? I don't hear from her in weeks and now she's worried? Urcchh!

"Yeah, I made some friends here unlike in Georgia and well, I'm going out more, doing things…you know, being an 18-year-old"

"Annie…this doesn't sound like you baby… Do you want to come and visit? Do you want me to come there?"

"No Mom, I'm fine really…I'm really enjoying it here actually, I love this College and I finally have friends, I've just never had that before"

"Well you know I'm always here for you sweetheart, for anything…"

"I know Mom…"

"How's your dad?" Like you care.

"He's good yeah, He's on another business trip this weekend, he's doing really well here"

"Are you staying at the house alone?"

"Yes Mom…I'm 18, almost 19, I'm fine…"

"I know but you'll always be my baby, I'll always worry".

Yeah if you say so, I mutter to myself.

"Anyway, I have to go, my friends are waiting for me…"

"Sweetheart wait, there's a reason I called…"

There always is, the only time she ever calls is if she wants something.

"And what's that?"

"Bob and I are getting married…I'd really like it if you could come down for the wedding? You could even bring one of your new friends down? We wouldn't mind, we just really want you to be there sweetheart"

Oh, my poor dad. I sigh sadly. My heart hurting at the thought.

"Does Dad know?"

"No..Not yet, but I will tell him I promise".

I stand there thinking, should I go? I know I'd feel guilty as hell if I didn't but…Honestly? I don't want to go. This is her fourth marriage and the thought of my Dad finding out breaks my heart.

I'm quickly brought out of my thoughts when Mia is running out shouting my name.

"Ana! Ana! It's Christian! Quickly!"

My eyes widen, Christian? Shit, what's happened. I start to panic.

"I'll think about it Mom and I'll call you tomorrow, I have to go I'm sorry" I press the red button hanging up on her before running up the steps and following Mia into the house.

"What's happened?!"

"He got into a fight with Jack!"

Oh shit.

I run quickly into the kitchen to find Jack pull a full swing against cheek sending him flying to the floor. I watch as Christian's face turns blood colored with anger and charges for jack sending him flying against the counter of the sink.

"Someone do something!" I panic, I can't get in between this.

I'm too small, too fragile. Where's Elliot?!

Jack swings for him again and then Christian back at him. I can see the blood dripping from Christian's eyebrow and Jack's lip.

I panic.

Luckily, Elliot soon comes rushing past, pushing everyone out of the way and grabs Christian with his two large arms and pulling Christian away.

"Yeah! You better run!" Jack smirks as Elliot pulls Christian further.

He's taunting him and I watch as Christians chest rises and falls rapidly. His nostrils flaring.

Elliot holds him away from Jack making Jack smirk more before he turns to make his way towards the stairs and up to the bathroom.

"Get off me!" Christian groans brushing Elliot off him.

"What the hell was that bro?" Elliot looks at him seriously.

"He's just a fucking dickhead, he deserves it!"

He shouts towards the stairs hoping Jack hears, but as he turns to wipe the drip of blood coming from his eyebrow, he notices me.

He looks at me.

I have tears in my eyes.

Why am I crying?

Am I crying because he's hurt?

Am I crying because I'm shaken up at the scene I've just witnessed?

I don't even know.

He moves to me and I take a little step back, I'm not scared, I'm just….overwhelmed.

His eyes widen as I step back and he looks defeated.

"Ana…" He whispers my name.

"Can we leave please?" I sniffle slightly and Mia moves to hug me.

"I'll get us a taxi back, you two go, just get him home Ana" Elliot looks to me and I nod turning to leave the house.

He's close behind me, I know he is. When We arrive at his car, I turn to look at him.

Shit, he looks worse out here.

"Ana…I'm sorry"

"Let's just leave"

"Where do you want to go?"

"Anywhere…maybe you should get that checked out, it looks pretty nasty," I say as I wipe my eyes to rid my tears.

"I'd rather just go home, It'll be fine" He shrugs pulling his keys out of his jeans pocket but winces as the fabric scraped across the broken skin on his knuckles.

"You're in no fit state to drive"

"Do you want to?"

"Drive?" My eyes widen.

"I mean yeah… just be careful with my baby" He tries to make a joke, and it makes me laugh, just a little, but it's something.

He hands me the keys before he climbs into the passenger side.

Shit.

He's actually trusting me to drive his car? He loves this damned thing. I feel privileged.

I start the car and he looks at me.

"Please be careful"

"Hey..I can drive pretty well"

"Pretty well doesn't sound confident" He teases.

I push my foot onto the gas and we start to move.

"So…do you want to tell me what happened back there?"

He looks away from me.

"He started talking shit about you"

Oh…

"What shit?" He looks at me.

"You really don't want to know.." He says seriously.

"I need to know, please?"

He sighs running his hand through his hair nervously.

"He was graphically describing how your body felt, the night you were drunk and how one day you'd be his"

Okay, now I feel a little sick. What a Jackass. I don't condone the fight, but Jack keeps taunting him and pushing him and he's trying to be better, but something triggered him.

Now I'm realizing, I've become one of his triggers.

"Are you mad at me?" He brings me out of my thoughts.

I simply shake my head. I can't be mad at him.

He shouldn't have got into a fight, no, but Jack shouldn't have said what he did either. I pull up into his driveway and stops the car. I sigh and turns to look at him.

"Will you stay here tonight?"

Should I?

Honestly? I really want to, but it's not me. It's not something I do.

But since I've arrived at this College, everything I've done is something I normally wouldn't do.

I've changed, I feel different. I feel a little more confident, a little less shy and honestly, this man in front of me, I can't get out of my head.

He makes my heart flutter and my stomach feel giddy. I don't think there is anything he could do to change that now.

My Dad is out of town again and honestly? I'd rather stay here.

I look up at him and nods.

I watch as his eyes widen in surprise and his shoulders loosen calmly.

He climbs out of his car and moves around to my side offering me his hand which I take willingly.

He walks me up to the steps, up to the house and opens the door.

His Mom is watering flowers inside when she smiles seeing us arrive, but then within a flash, her smile is gone and she's rushing to us.

"What happened to you?" She worries.

It's adorable how much she worries but I notice he shies away from her touch.

Poor Grace.

"I'm fine Mom, really… Ana's going to stay tonight okay?"

She looks at me with a look of surprise and I smile sweetly.

"Of course darling, I'll make an extra plate for breakfast"

"Oh, there's no need Mrs. Grey…I'll be fine…"

"Please, call me Grace and I won't take no for an answer" She smiles gently squeezing my hand and I nod.

"Thank you…"

She looks back to Christian with a small sad smile seeing his wound but doesn't press further.

I'm guessing she's used to this? She knows he doesn't like being touched.

She respects that.

She's such an amazing Mom and she's wonderful towards me too.

I wonder how she would react about the Christian and Mrs. Lincoln situation.

No Ana…Push that thought away right now. I scold myself.

Christian takes my hand, luckily pulling me out of my thoughts and guides me up to his room.

I sit at the edge of his bed nervously as I gaze around. It's familiar to me, nothing has really changed since the last time I stayed here. I watch as he moves into the bathroom grabbing a towel and wetting it, putting it to his eyebrow. I smile sadly before standing.

"hey come and sit down…Let me…"

He looks curiously but takes my spot on the bed handing me the towel. I gently dab it across his face, catching up all the blood and cleaning out the wound.

He's letting me touch him. He's letting me help him and he doesn't seem afraid. He doesn't shy away.

This is good.

His phone starts to ring with Elliot's name on the screen.

Then Mia starts to call me.

I look to Christian and he shakes his head, "I don't want to talk to them right now".

I nod, "Let me just text Mia to let her know we're okay" He nods in agreement and I grab my phone replying.

_'Hey Mia, we're back at your place, Christian is fine, he's just tired but we're fine xx' _

_'Thank goodness! I was so worried! Thanks, Ana! We'll be back soon xx' _

I click send and reads her reply before moving my attention back to his wound.

"I'm sorry about tonight, I didn't mean to ruin it," He says sincerely as he looks up at me as I'm concentrating on his wound.

"It's okay…Jack shouldn't have done that…I don't condone fighting, but I understand"

He smiles sadly and nods.

"You won't leave me?"

"Not this again…" I smile teasing and I gently cup his cheek making him look up at me.

"I won't leave unless you give me a reason to"

"I promise I won't" He leans up gently capturing my lips.

I kiss him back, dropping the towel to the ground as I gently put my hands to his shoulders.

He slowly stands and brushes his knuckles gently against my cheek.

"What are you doing to me" He whispers smiling before capturing my lips once more.

I'll never get tired of kissing him. The way our lips mold perfectly together. The way his tongue plays against mine.

I don't think there could be anyone but him.

We stay that way for a while longer before he takes a step back towards the bed. He gazes down at me and my heart rate quickens.

I can see it in his eyes.

He can see it in mine.

I just know it.

Be bold Ana, be bold.

I move my hands to the bottom of his t-shirt, keeping my eye contact with him.

I watch as his lips part slightly.

"I'm not going to tonight…we have time for that" He cups my cheek, "Do you trust me?".

His gaze fires into mine.

I suddenly find myself not able to speak. But I nod in reply.

What am I doing?

He leans down kissing me deeply, his kiss deeper and needy compared to usual but I like it. I'm enjoying it. Shit, what is happening. My body starts to react to his kiss, to his touch.

He turns us around and gently lays me down against his pillows.

"Now if you want me to stop…just say the words and I will"

I simply nod gazing up at him before he captures my lips once again.

I rest my hands on his biceps as we kiss.

Then…shit…his kisses move.

Along my jaw…

Just under my ear…

Then my neck as he bites down gently and sucks lightly at my skin.

I gasp at the feeling. It's setting fire to my whole body. It's so strange to me. No one has ever kissed me this way. No one has ever touched me this way. No one has ever made me feel this way.

But I find myself wanting more.

He pulls away from my neck and gazes down at me, "Are you okay?"

"Mhmm…" Is all I can manage to let out as my breathing quickens.

His lips curl into a smile and he keeps his gaze with mine as he shifts lower, his kisses move along my collar bone, down to the rising mound of my breast as it pokes slightly out the top of my dress as I'm laying down.

"You're so beautiful…" He whispers as he continues his kisses along my opposing collar bone. His trail of kisses lands at the other side of my figure and moves his kissing back up my neck, along my jaw and back to my lips.

"I'll get you one of my t-shirts to sleep in" He pecks my lips before standing off the bed moving to his wardrobe pulling out one hos his white t-shirts.

Why did he stop?

Shit.

That was nice. Too nice. His lips against my skin, it enlightened my body and my senses. I didn't want him to stop. I don't want to stop.

He hands me the t-shirt. I smile taking it before moving into the bathroom to change into it.

I pull off my dress and looks in the mirror at my figure.

Will he like me without my dress? I sigh before pulling his shirt over my head keeping my panties on. It's just like the first time I spent the night here. His shirt lands just above my knees and it's baggy and comfy.

I find myself looking at myself in the mirror once again.

I love wearing his shirts.

I pick up my dress moving back out into his bedroom.

He's pulling his shirt off. The way his muscles move under his skin. The way his frame stands tall and toned.

"Enjoying the view?"

Shit, he caught me watching him in the mirror. I blush as I see his eyes staring back at me in the reflection of the mirror.

"actually yes"

Be bold Ana, Be brave.

He laughs and I smile putting my dress on the chair and moves to sit at the edge of the bed.

"I'm enjoying the view too, I think my shirts look better on you" He grins causing me to giggle.

"How are you feeling?"

"I'll be okay," He says moving to stand in front of me, "How was uhm…did you enjoy..." I can see he's trying to word it properly, and when he gestures to the bed I bite my lip.

"It was nice…why…why did you stop…"

"I didn't want to push you too far, I still want to do this the right way, Take it slow, we have time…I want to treat you right and the way you deserve" He smiles more and I nod agreeing.

That's sweet of him.

Very gentlemanly.

Very chivalrous.

Just like my novels I love so dearly.

I'm falling deeper and deeper and deeper.

Falling deeper for Christian Grey.

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Sorry for the late update guys! I went to see Rita Ora's Phoenix tour and had to do a little bit of travelling so I haven't had a chance to upload. She kicked off the concert with the Fifty shades Freed song and it was AMAZING! Front row viewing for that was such an experience.

Anyway, here's the next chapter! I hope you enjoy.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15…

Fucking Jack Hyde.

What an absolute fucking dickhead.

I hate him. Hate him with a passion.

I could have killed him at that party. I wanted to kill him. The way he came onto me about Ana, I just wanted to bury him 6 feet under right there and then.

"Grey! Who said you were invited, man?" Jack smirks at me and I'm ready for him.

"I came with Ana"

"Ana….oh wow…what a girl" He licks his lips and it makes my stomach twist in a knot.

Fuck.

"She's so fucking hot, isn't she? Nice and innocent" He grins.

"Shut the fuck up Jack, I swear"

"You swear what Grey? What are you going to do?"

"I'm serious Jack, just Don't" I go to walk away, be the bigger man Christian. You can do this.

"You don't know how her body feels against yours, do you? You don't know how peachy her ass is when you squeeze it in your hands...I do… and she fucking loved it"

That's it.

Talk shit about me, but do not talk shit about Ana.

My head starts thumping with anger and I spin on my heels.

Punch.

Punch.

Punch.

"She was fucking drunk you Stupid fucking idiot! You took advantage of her!"

"Is that so? I disagree, she loved it, she wanted it….she liked feeling me grind against her"

"Shut the fuck up!"

"I could have taken her right there on that countertop, hard and deep…I bet her pussy is nice and tight".

"I said shut the fuck up!"

Punch.

Punch.

Punch.

Punch.

Punch.

Fuck, how did I end up on the floor?

What a fucking dick head.

I gather all my anger together and charges at him sending him crunching into the counter behind us.

Everything goes slurred and blurry. I feel like everything has gone into slow motion. My head hurts.

Why does my head hurt?

I lift my hand to my forehead and when I pull it back down into view, it's covered in blood.

Fucking great.

I look down at my shirt and It's dripping down staining it.

This is not how I planned this evening to go. I knew I shouldn't have fucking come.

Ana….Where's Ana… I look around.

That's when I see her.

Her piercing blue eyes were glossy with tears.

Shit.

Ana, shit.

I move towards her but she takes a step back.

Fuck, is she frightened of me?

She couldn't be, could she?

All the voices around me are muffled and faded as I watch her start to leave the Frat house and I follow close behind her.

Shit, I hope she's not too mad.

She drives my car, we talk and she understands.

I didn't tell her the details of what Jack said and honestly? I don't think she needed to know.

Then she surprises me once again. I asked her to stay with me and she agreed.

I can't believe it.

Then in my room, we start kissing and my gosh, it's amazing. I love the way she's so inexperienced but then she does something that takes me by surprise.

She moves her hands to the bottom of my shirt. I gaze deeply into her eyes before looking down at her hands and I already feel my dick twitch at all the thoughts running through my head right now.

Calm Christian, take it slow. She deserves it.

"Do you trust me"

She nods in reply.

Fuck. This girl.

I start to kiss her, gently and slowly as I move us back towards the bed. I lay her down kissing her.

Any pieces of skin I can see I want to kiss. So I start my trail along her jaw, down her neck, across her chest.

Her fucking chest, my gosh, it's perfect. The way her breasts peek over the top of her dress. My dick starts to respond to our position and my kissing. I need to stop. I don't want to rush her, I want to take this slow. But fuck it feels so good, It's never felt this good before.

It's never felt this real.

Then I hear it. I hear her moan and It sends adrenaline right down to my crotch. That's it, If I don't stop now then I don't know if I could.

I pull away from her with a peck of her lips.

"I'll get you one of my t-shirts" I climb off the bed, I can see her chest rise and fall. She's worked up and I can tell, but we have time. Plenty of time. I plan on cherishing every inch of her skin and hopefully one day, we can be as one.

I hope she isn't too disappointed I stopped, but I didn't want her to regret anything and I want it to be special for her when it does happen.

Now, I stir in bed.

I'm stirring in bed? What is going on?

I look at my phone, it's 8 am.

I have never slept this late.

That's when I realise there's another body beside me.

Her petite frame curled into my blankets, her head rested against my pillow with her hair surrounding her small features. She's in my shirt and wow does it do things to me.

This is how I want to spend the rest of my life. Waking up next to her every single morning. Seeing the way she smiles in her sleep.

The way her curls fall around her face.

The way she breathes low and steady.

The way her one leg curls up and the other lays straight as she rests onto the pillow beside me.

She's so fucking beautiful.

This is what I want. She is what I want.

I know that now more than ever.

Elena is done, Leila is done. I haven't heard off either of them which is weird but honestly? I'm glad. I've never felt better, I've felt free, I've felt me.

I can finally move on from that life and start a new.

I lay there simply gazing at her. Her flawless skin radiates the sun that's shining through my curtain. I take her all in and it makes me smile.

She's so fucking beautiful.

I lift my hand gently stroking her hair behind her ear and I cause her to stir.

Shit.

She smiles softly, her eyes sleepily start opening and she gazes at me. She looks around realising she's not in her own room.

Fuck, does she regret staying here?

I gently stroke her cheek.

"Was I snoring?"

This makes me laugh, I rarely laugh. But I find myself doing that a lot around her.

She wakes up in my bed and her first thought is her snoring. I laugh a little more.

"No, you weren't snoring…Sorry, I woke you, but I know my Mom is making you breakfast and I think it'll be ready soon" I smile and she reciprocates it.

She smiles sleepily and nods.

"How are you feeling?" She says as she looks up towards my eyebrow.

Oh yeah, I forgot about that.

"It's fine…thanks to you and your handy work last night" She blushes giggling softly and damn it does things to me.

I lean forward kissing her gently and she smiles against my lips. It's such a strange feeling to me, but knowing I'm making her smile means the world to me.

Fuck you, Jack Hyde. She's mine.

"Thank you for staying last night…"

"It's okay, you have a comfy bed…if it wasn't so comfy I'd have happily declined" She smirks teasingly.

Oh she wants to start that game.

"Oh is that so huh?" I smirk and starts tickling her sides.

She writhes in the bed squealing kicking her legs towards me before I grab them between my arms and I hover over her laughing softly.

"I could get used to this"

"What? Tickle torturing me?" She raises her eyebrows teasingly.

"Mhmm that and waking up to you every morning" I grin.

She blushes. I love the way her cheeks blush. It's so innocent but beautiful. I'm doing that to her. Me.

To my surprise she leans up kissing me softly, her lips moving gently against mine.

My hand finds it's way to her bare leg.

Fuck. I gently trail my fingertips up from the bottom of her ankle, up her calf, and up to the outer side of her thigh. I feel her skin turn into goosebumps and I feel her heart and breathing become a little harder.

I gently pull back and I gaze down at her.

Fuck, the way she looks up at me does so many things to me I can't deal with it.

Her hand moves to the bottom of the shirt of my pyjamas as she gazes up at me and she bravely lifts it up and over my head.

That's my girl, she's becoming braver.

My smile grows as I continue to watch her.

He eyes trail from mine, down my chest, down my torso, then back up at again.

I gently cup her cheek, "Are you okay?"

She nods as she gazes deeply into my eyes.

My hand on her thigh moves a little higher lifting up the shirt I gave her.

I keep my gaze with hers, letting her know she can stop any time but she doesn't. I move it a little further to reveal pale blue panties underneath.

Fuck, My poor dick.

I let the shirt rest just above her belly button and I move backwards slightly.

"Tell me to stop at any time…"

She nods in anticipation gazing down at me as I dip my head lower and starts to trail kisses along her lower abdomen.

I feel her wriggle beneath me as I press open-mouthed kisses along her creamy skin.

She gasps softly and oh my gosh it's doing so much.

Calm, Christian, Calm.

I move a little lower placing kisses along her panty line and she lifts her body slightly at the contact. Her breathing more rapid and I watch as her eyes closed and her lips forming a perfect 'O'.

"Christian! Elliot! Mia! Breakfast!"

Fuck, really? Mom!

"Fuck, It's my mother"

I groan before standing and I gaze down at her. She's so flustered but she giggles hearing my Mom's voice.

At least she finds it funny right?

I need more of this. I need more of her. I need more of us.

The Gala is so close now, and to my surprise, I'm actually excited about it.

But now, for breakfast, and prepare for the million questions I'm about to receive from my family about the fact that Ana stayed here last night and that she's my date for the Gala. I'm sure my mother will be thrilled.

She's never actually seen me with anyone before, so I think she'll get all excited over it, especially for the Gala.

She seems to really like Ana already, but I mean, who wouldn't like her?

There's nothing not to like.

Nothing can ruin this. Nothing.

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Next chapter….THE GALA! STAY TUNED!


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16...

It's the night of the Gala and I'm a little nervous. I booked the evening off work so I could spend the day chilling and getting ready.

I head to Lunch with my Dad and the conversation of Mom's wedding pops up. It's a little awkward and I can see he's trying not to let it get to him, but still, it makes me sad.

My Dad finally got to meet Christian briefly after he dropped me home the other day and so far he seems to like him.

"I think I might ask him to come to the wedding with me…I'm not sure it's his thing or if he'll even agree…but…I don't want to go alone" I admit as I bite into my sandwich.

"I think he will, he seems pretty…attached to you" He smirks knowingly and my smile grows, "Plus I'd like to know you're going with someone, I've always hated you going down there alone in case something happened" He smiles, "I can imagine Christian being a great bodyguard" He laughs more.

Oh, you have no Idea Dad, I think to myself. Thinking back to his fights with Jack over me.

He's protective but it's not a bad thing.

"So will you be coming home tonight Annie?"

I look up and blushes slightly, "I think I'll probably end up staying there, Mrs Grey said I'm more than welcome to stay if I want to… apparently, these things go on until early morning, so it'll depend on what time I want to leave" I smile but I already know, I want to stay. I want to stay with Christian.

He chuckles nodding, "That's fine sweetheart, just text me to let me know you're okay, okay?" He gives me a teasingly stern look and I nod smiling.

"I will Dad, I promise" I smile more finishing my sandwich.

He's so amazing.

My phone vibrates on the table and I turn it over looking at the text, my smile grows and my Dad smirks knowingly.

"I wonder who that could be….make sure he knows if he ever hurts you, he'll have me to deal with," He says teasingly but I already know there's at least some truth in it.

But he wouldn't hurt me, right?

I hope not. Not now.

'_Hey, Do you want me to pick you up later?' _

_'It's okay, I can get a taxi or my dad or something xx' _

_'No way, I'll pick you up. Is 5 okay? Or earlier? I can get to know your Dad better ;) Xx' _

_'5 is perfect thank you, I can't wait… oh about my Dad, he said if you hurt me, you'll have him to deal with ;) xx' _

_'Me too, I'm glad I get another night with you. Are you going to stay over? My Mom's excited you're coming. Your Dad is funny ;) xx' _

_'He's hilarious but very serious ;) and yes, I'll stay, if that's okay? Xx'_

_'More than okay, I hoped you would xx' _

I smile softly at his reply and My Dad smiles looking over at me as he sips his coffee.

"It's nice seeing you smiling sweetheart"

"Thanks, Dad" I smile more and I reach over squeezing his hand, "I'm glad you agreed to let me come live here with you".

"I wouldn't have it any other way" He smiles brightly before we finish up and make our way home.

I shower and pull on my jeans and a simple top, packing up a few things to bring with me ready to get ready over at The Greys.

Mia has our dresses sorted and I'm so excited to wear it.

It's so beautiful and flattering, I couldn't have found better in a shop. I'm so grateful for her.

Mia, Kate and I have all gotten so much closer and it's really nice to have girlfriends to hang out with.

It's strange to have people I call friends now, but I'm thoroughly enjoying it.

Mia continually tells me how happy she is to see Christian and I together.

Not that we've really made it official or anything, or even discussed what we are. But we kind of know. She's happy for Elliot and Kate too, but I think her and Christian are different.

Mia even told me once that everything thought Christian was Gay, little did they know the truth.

I wonder what they would do if they ever found out about his other life.

Stop it, Ana, stop letting your mind go there.

I continue to think about Christian as I check over my bag making sure I have everything.

Their Mom, Grace. She is absolutely amazing. She's so kind and caring and loving, it makes my heart swell the way she treats everyone. She treats me like another daughter and I wholeheartedly appreciate it.

Anyway, it's 4.45 and there's a knock at the door and I hear my Dad move to answer it.

"Christian…" My Dad greets him.

"Mr Steele, It's nice to see you again"

"Oh please son, call me Ray"

"Ray.."

My heart swells, they're getting along, this is a good sign.

"Can I get you anything? Tea? Coffee? Water?"

"No I'm good, thank you though, I've had strict orders from my sister to hurry up and take Ana back so they can get ready"

I giggle hearing him.

"Look after my girl"

"I fully intend to sir"

I watch them shake hands as I make way down the stairs and my smile grows. My dad makes his way inside and moves into the garden.

"Hey…"

"Hey…"

"You ready to go?"

I nod smiling, "Let me just grab my purse".

I notice the flowers in his hands, white roses. Wow.

"I uh…I got you these" He smiles nervously and I take them willingly.

"They're so beautiful, thank you"

"Just like you" He leans down and pecks my lips gently.

Oh this man.

"I'll just go put them in some water" I smile moving into the kitchen finding a spare vase and I place them into the centre of the dining room table.

I move to the back door, "Dad, I'm leaving, I'll see you tomorrow!"

"Have fun sweetheart, text me later!"

"I will! Bye"

We call out to each other from the bottom of the garden and the back door.

I smile before making my way back inside and smiles.

"Okay, I'm good"

Christian lifts up my bag and carries it out to his car and I follow close behind.

As soon as we arrive at the Grey's Mia rushes me into her room to get ready, Christian laughs watching me as I make my way in and Mia closes the door.

It takes us a while to get ready and I finally slip the dress on once Kate has finished my makeup. The silver satin dress shimmers down my body, hugging my curves in all the right places. I feel so sophisticated, so modern, so sexy, so unlike me, but I like it. I feel confident. I look confident.

I move to the mirror and I gaze over my image that reflects back to me.

Wow.

Is that really me?

Mia grins as my in the mirror and holds up the silver mask that goes with it.

"You look amazing," I say to Mia, then Kate. They both nod and say the same back to me.

"Are we ready?" Mia smiles as she finishes her lipstick and picks up her mask on a stick while I tie mine into my messy bun at the back of my head.

"Ready!"

"Ready!"

The three of us leave the room and makes our way out into the gardens under the large function tent filled with tables and chairs and a stage at front and centre.

I gaze around and it's so beautiful. String lights dipping up and down from one end to another. A chandelier suspended right in the very centre.

The tables are decorated in white and black, very sophisticated.

"Hey baby" Elliot walks over to us smiling and kisses Kate on the lips.

Mia makes a throwing up face jokingly and I laugh as they make their way to the bar.

"Come on, My Mom put us all on the same table…" Mia links my arm and guides me to the table that already occupies a couple of people already sitting.

Grace, Carrick, Mia, Elliot, Kate and Christian. My smile grows. The perfect table.

He hasn't seen me yet, but his Mom does and her smile grows.

"Ana darling…you look absolutely fantastic! And Mia my sweetheart, you look wonderful" She stands kissing both our cheeks and gives me a small hug.

Hearing his Mom say my name makes him turn in his chair.

Wow. He looks amazing. The way his mask fits his face perfectly. His grey eyes piercing out of the holes.

Wow.

I think I see him gasp slightly as he sees me, but he licks his lips and sips the glass of liquid he has in his hand.

"Thank you Grace, you look amazing! I love your dress!"

"Thankyou darling…come and sit, you're right here next to Christian" I nod smiling and walks with her before I gaze down at Christian smiling more.

He stands and pulls the chair out for me grinning like a schoolboy.

He whispers softly as I take my seat, "You look absolutely beautiful".

I blush softly. "Thank you…I like your suit…" I bite my lip.

"Champagne Ana, just one?" Grace says as she holds up the bottle and I nod.

It is a special event after all and I've never tried champagne before.

"Thank you"

I take a sip and the bubbles and flavour send my taste buds soaring. It's a little strange, but I like it.

As the people start to arrive, we make small talk around the table and suddenly my eyes lay on a figure and I start to feel a little nauseous.

"Elena, you made it" Grace stands to hug her and I look at Christian.

I can see him avert his gaze elsewhere but he takes my hand under the table and squeezes it. I shuffle my chair a little closer and rests my hand soothingly on his thigh. Brave Ana. This dress is definitely making me confident.

"I wouldn't miss it for the world…" Her gaze moves to Christian and I and I look away. Even her presence makes me annoyed.

"Carrick…Mia…Christian...It's lovely to see you all…"

I look at Christian, to watch his reaction. He gives a fake smile and I can feel the awkwardness radiating from him.

"Mom, I'm going to show Ana around"

She smiles nodding, "Okay darling, don't be too long…it's starting soon".

Christian nods and stands offering me his hand which I take willingly and we make our leave.

I feel Elena's eyes on as we walk away.

As we start to make our leave I hear Grace say, "I'm so glad Christian made it tonight, Ana s absolutely wonderful for him". My smile grows hearing her. I'm really glad she approves of me.

As soon as we leave the tent I feel Christian relax next to me and takes a deep breath.

"Are you okay?" I gently stroke my thumb across his knuckles.

"I'll be okay, thanks to you….sorry I just had to leave for a moment" He gently cups my cheek and I willingly lean into his touch smiling.

"It's okay… I felt a little uncomfortable too, I didn't know she'd be attending".

"I didn't think she'd turn up either…" He sighs, "But it's just you and me… I don't want her to ruin this".

I nod agreeing and he leans down kissing me, a little needy but I don't care. It's a good feeling.

"This dress looks absolutely amazing on you… but I think it'll look even better on my floor and your body back into one of my shirts" He grins against my lips and I can't help but giggle.

"Okay…if everyone can come and take their seats, we'll be starting very shortly" The mic echoes through the gardens with Christian's Dad's voice.

"We better head back in" I smile.

He groans and I giggle softly.

"Fine… but you owe me a dance"

"A dance? Really?"

He nods with a smirk, "Yes Anastasia, a dance"

My heart melts and he offers me his arm which I take willingly as we may our way back inside.

He pulls my seat out once again letting me sit down before he takes the seat next to me and pours us another two glasses of champagne.

Christian's Dad starts to explain the evening all about their charity for children who have lost family, who have been put into foster care and are in need of help.

Another man takes the stage after him and they start an auction selling off designer items, paintings and then a holiday at the Grey holiday home in Aspen.

"You have a holiday home?" I smile whispering to Christian.

His hand is on my thigh and gently stroking my knee over the top of the dress.

I love the feeling.

He nods smiling, "Yeah, I haven't been there since I was about 10…maybe I could take you some time?"

"I'd like that" I smile more and I peck his lips gently. Earning a scoff from the table next to us and when I look Elena is sipping on a glass of champagne. Which, makes me do it all the more. I look back and gives him another peck.

I hate her.

Why is she even here?

The evening goes on and the auction has finished and Grace makes her way to the stage.

"Thank you for everyone who has attended tonight, I'm proud to announce we have raised 1 million dollars so far tonight… Please continue to donate and enjoy the rest of the evening…Thank you, everyone"

The music band starts to play and a few people move to the small dance floor located in front of the stage.

We all clap and Christian smiles offering his hand.

"You owe me a dance"

I grin and takes his hand willingly as we make our way over beside Grace and Carrick.

Christian's hands move to my waist and mine move to his shoulder as we start to dance. Grace smirks at Carrick and gives a little nod in our direction making them both look.

I can see how proud they are of Christian in the way they look at him. It's so sincere and pure, it's wonderful.

Christian rolls his eyes at their stares and I giggle.

We sway to the music. Simply gazing up at each other.

"So... You inspired me..."

"What do you mean?"

"I've applied for a job in Seattle...It's with a big company and It's looking pretty official thanks to my Dad's recommendation, I have an interview next week" He smiles.

"Really? Christian! That's amazing, I'm so happy for you, what job is it?"

"It's in the business industry, so I'll probably start off small, but Ideally one day, I'd like to work my way up".

"That's amazing...You're going to do fantastic, I just know it"

"It's all thanks to you...You've made me want to be better, I want to make something for myself, and hopefully, in the future, make something for us"

Wow. I am actually speechless.

"I'm so proud of you"

He rests his forehead against mine before he spins me a few times making me laugh. I love the way he is tonight.

I love the way he's been lately, so calm, so carefree, so happy.

Happy Christian is my favourite Christian.

A slow song comes on and I rest my head onto his shoulder, He holds me close.

Our bodies mould together and he nuzzles into my neck slightly before he pulls back and gazes down into my eyes.

"I'm falling for you, Ana…Every single day, I'm falling deeper and deeper" He whispers smiling as he strokes my cheek.

Wow. My heart pounds. Did he really just say that?

"I'm falling for you too" I whisper back and he leans down. He kisses me lovingly, in front of everyone.

This is so unexpected, but it fills me with hope and excitement.

"Thank you for agreeing to come with me tonight" W start to sway again and I peck his lips.

"There's nowhere else I'd rather be".

Once our fifth song has ended Christian makes his way back to the table as I make my way to the bathroom.

Shit.

My heart pounds nervously as Two green eyes stare at me viscously.

"I see Christian has brought a date" She smirks.

"That is none of your business…"

I go to walk past her and into the bathroom but she catches my elbow. There's no one even around to witness this. Great.

"You're not enough for him, he's going to break your heart"

"That's for him to decide, not you" I glare slightly.

"You're a mousy little thing that will never give him what he wants…what he needs…"

"Oh and what? You can?! Don't make me laugh…"

"Excuse me?"

"He told me everything, Elena… You disgust me! You abused him! You used him for your sick and twisted benefit. Well.. he's getting better… I'm helping him, unlike you!"

"Keep your voice down!" She scowls gripping my arm tighter.

"Let her fucking arm go Elena!"

Christian's voice booms down the corridor.

Shit, he's angry. But I'm glad he's here. I'm glad he's witnessed this.

She lets go of my hand and looks to Christian. "She's not good for you Christian".

"She is the best thing to happen to me in a long time…"

She laughs sarcastically, "You're both so naive and oblivious! You're never going to work out…ever! Have you spoken to Leila, Christian?" Her lips curl into the most viscous smirk I have ever seen.

"No, Why would I have spoken to Leila? Leila and I have been over for weeks!"

"Hm…I'm sure she'll come to you soon" She goes to walk away.

"What do you mean?"

"You'll see!" She laughs but Christian grasps her elbow making her look at him.

"What the fuck Elena…Why are you doing this?! Just leave me and Ana alone!"

"Oh dear…I'll leave you alone, that's fine if that's what you want"

I gently hold Christian's hand in an attempt to soothe him as he confronts her.

"Good! Because Ana and I are together and there's nothing you can do!"

The confirmation from his lips makes my heart swell and melt within my chest.

I think I love him.

Who am I kidding? I do love him.

"There's nothing I can do no… but Leila might have something to do with it"

"And why the fuck would I let Leila come between me and Ana?"

Elena laughs sadistically, "She's pregnant".

Oh….

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Bit of a long chapter…but I hope you all enjoy! Thanks to all my readers and followers! The numbers keep growing every single day and I can't thank you all enough!

I hope you continue to enjoy it and review! Stay tuned for more drama!


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17…

I don't know how long has passed. I feel numb. I feel hurt. I feel worthless. It's ruined. All of it. My life, my thoughts. Me. I'm so fucked up. I fucked up again.

Imagine me, with a fucking brat. Not a chance in hell.

How the fuck am I supposed to cope with this news?

The only way I cope with everything else I guess. Anger and Alcohol. I have no idea how long it's been but the only time I've left my room is when I've needed to piss or get another bottle of alcohol when mine is empty.

The alcohol is numbing my pain slightly, but at the same time, it causes a different pain. My Mom has tried to check in on me every day, but I've refused to let her in or even see me. Same with Mia. I know they're worried but I need to deal with this and This is the only way I know how.

I didn't go back to the party that night. Ana also went home.

She left. She was going to stay but I felt so angry, I didn't want her to see me like this. I think she understood, or at least I hope she understands.

It was all going so well, I even danced! I fucking Danced! I was actually enjoying myself and once again it's ruined.

The last time I was angry she stepped away from me in what seemed like freight and I never want to witness that again. And honestly, this anger? The anger I'm feeling right now is a thousand times worse than the last.

Leila fucking pregnant? I don't believe for a second. I have always been careful! There is not a single percentage of possibility that whatever it is growing inside her, is mine. It is not.

But what if it is?

Fucking shut up Christian, It's not. I mumble angrily to myself as I sit in my room.

If it is, Ana and I are done. I just know it. She's an amazing woman but taking on someone else's kid at this age in life? I wouldn't even allow myself to put her through that.

If this thing is mine, I'm going to have to let her go. And honestly? I don't think I would cope with that.

I move into the bathroom locking the door behind me. I stare into the mirror at my reflection.

I could just end it all. I could end me, that would take all this pain away. Any pain I've ever felt, it could be gone. Thoughts, feelings, Everything gone in an instant. I look at the bath and then to the razor at the side of the mirror.

It could be easy. I have nothing anyway, so why shouldn't I.

No one would miss me, I'm just a burden. A fucked up burden.

I stare back at myself in the mirror picking up the razor and gazing back down at my arm. It would be so easy. Could be so easy. Then Ana comes to mind. Ana is my light, my sanity, my salvation. I think of her kisses, her laugh, her smile, her hair blowing in the wind from my car window. I drop the razor to the floor before I send my fist flying into my reflection. The mirror shattering around my knuckles.

What the fuck do I do?

There's a small knock at the door and I'm pulled from my thoughts.

"Christian? Darling? Are you okay? I heard a smash…" She talks so sadly. Fuck. I keep doing this. I can't keep breaking everything, I'm just so fucking angry all the time. And now…How the fuck am I even supposed to answer her? What do I even say?

I need help.

"Christian? You're worrying me…you haven't left this house in days. You haven't been to college. You haven't spoken to anyone in days, You have that important interview in 3 days…what's going on?"

She talks to me through the door. I move closer listening to her and I rest my forehead against the wood of the frame listening to the worry radiating from her voice.

"Is it Ana?" She asks quietly.

Ana. My Ana.

What day is it?

Fuck it's Tuesday. I haven't replied to her messages, her calls, I haven't seen her, spoken to her, nothing since the night of the Gala 3 days ago.

Fuck, Ana.

I open the door slowly and I look at her sadly.

"I can't talk about it right now Mom…but I have to sort this…I'm sorry about the mirror, I'll buy a new one I promise and I'll clean up the mess"

I look down at my glassed knuckles.

"Oh Christian…What can I do to help you…"

"Nothing Mom, This is something I have to do alone for now..Okay? Just trust me…"I look down at her and she nods.

"I'm always here darling…I love you" I nod listening to her, I've never told anyone I've loved them back.

She leaves me again to my thoughts as I clean up the bathroom before moving back into my room, pulling on a hoodie and I make my way to Leila's house with my hood pulled up over my head.

I knock at the door waiting, my anger growing.

Calm Christian, Stay calm.

The door opens and I watch as her eyes grow wide. Yeah, she better be surprised.

"I think we need to talk, don't you?"

She nods slightly, "D-Do you want to come in?"

"No, I don't want to fucking come in, I just want to know why you're playing this game… Whatever it is you're carrying inside of you, certainly isn't mine!"

I watch as she fumbles with her fingers in front of her, She looks anywhere but my eyes.

"I-It is Christian…I'm having your baby"

"Oh really? Then where's the test? Where're the scans? Where's the proof…Until I see proof I won't believe it, I refuse to"

"I threw the test away…and I..uh…the scan…well…uhm… I..I have a scan next week"

"You don't sound too certain about that Leila! Do you have a scan or not?"

"Y-Yes…Friday…"

I narrow my eyes at her, she's fucking lying.

"You know Leila…I don't know if you remember me telling you but my Dad is a lawyer and My Mom is a Doctor… I can get them involved in this. My Mom could do a scan today if I asked her to, and my Dad…well as a lawyer, a DNA test would be easy.. and if it turns out that the thing your carrying isn't mine, I could claim a lot of money from you, even get the police involved with harassment claims…is that what you want?"

She looks up at me and then back down towards her feet.

Thank fuck I have my Mom and Dad.

"I'll give you until Friday to tell me what the fuck is really going on here and if I don't hear…Like I said…I'll be requesting that proof from professionals that I trust"

I turn on my heels and I walk away climbing back into my car.

That actually went pretty well I think?

I have a feeling this whole fuck up has something to do with Elena. This is why they were in the car park that day. Plotting.

If the brat is mine, then I'll need help. I will….I don't want it. I'll pay, I'll give money, I'll do whatever the fuck she wants, but something deep down inside of me knows that's it's not. If she is pregnant at all that is…I don't know. But I am 99 percent certain, that pregnancy has nothing to do with me.

I know what I have to do now.

I drive away from Leila's and I start to get a little nervous.

I pull up outside of Ana's house.

Fuck. I hope she doesn't hate me. I haven't spoken to her in 3 days. Mia has repeatedly come to my door every day informing that Ana had asked about me. That gives me a little hope. I hope she still cares. I hope she can understand.

I take a deep breath before making my way up to the front door and I ring the doorbell.

Fuck, I hope her father isn't here.

The door opens revealing her father.

Fucking great. I wonder if she's told him anything…I hope not.

"Mr. Steele… Hi…Is Ana home?"

"She's just doing her homework and I'm not sure she's in the mood to talk to anyone right now"

Anyone, or just me?

"Please, Mr. Steele… It's urgent…"

"Her phone call from the Gala was urgent too which is why I ended up bringing her home" He crosses his arms.

He's protective of her, He's her Dad. I don't know what she's told him, but I understand why he's acting this way. I'm a dick, I know, but I need her.

Now more than ever.

"Please, sir…I don't know what she has told you, but I just need to apologize and I want to make it up to her… I care for your daughter sir and I'll be damned if I didn't try to make things right".

I watch his arms move to his side as he looks at me cautiously.

"Dad, It's okay…"

Fuck…Ana.

She looks tired. Exhausted even. But still as beautiful as ever.

"Ana….can we talk? Please?"

She gazes at me with her blue sad eyes. Her Dad looks down at her waiting for her answer and I'm grateful when she nods.

"I'll be in the gardens, call me if you need me sweetheart"

"Thanks, Dad…" He leaves out of the back of the house and Ana invites me in, moving to sit beside each other on the couch I once slept on.

"So how are you…" I start off, how are you? Fuck sake Christian.

"Where have you been? I haven't heard from you in days…" She says sadly as she looks down at her sitting next to me.

"I've been at home, I haven't been doing so well….after the Gala, well I spiraled, it's not an excuse I know… I had no idea how long or how many days had passed…I'm so sorry I never took your calls or texts but I had no idea what to say or reply, I apologize"

She simply nods, "So why are you here now?"

"I want to make everything right, with you, my Mom, school, My family. I want the pain to go away and I think I know how…" I look at her but she doesn't look at me.

"And how do you plan on doing that?"

"I'm going to tell my Mom…I'm going to tell her everything…but…I don't think I can do it without you by my side Ana"

She looks surprised, her eyebrows raise and she finally gazes up at me.

"Everything?"

I nod, "Everything…"

"Ana, I've been so scared that if that child is mine, then I'd lose you… I don't want to lose you… but at the same time, I don't think this pregnancy is all that it seems…It's not my child Ana, I'm 99 percent certain it's not. I want to tell my parents everything, Elena…Leila…everything and I hope once their anger starts to fade they might help me in figuring out what's going on… I think Elena and Leila have planned this and I think they're doing it to keep us apart…I don't want them to win" I reach out taking her hands.

She doesn't pull away but she does sit there in silence gazing down at our hands.

Tears start to fill her eyes and I watch as a tear rolls down her cheek. I lift my hand up and gently wipes it away with my thumb.

"Of course I'll be there with you…I'm so proud you made this decision" She gazes up at me.

"I wouldn't have come this far without you"

"When are you going to tell them?"

"Whenever you're free to be at my side if you're free now..or tomorrow…or anytime, but I know I need you there"

She nods and leans into my touch. Thank fuck.

"Let's go now, the sooner you've done this, the better it will be for all of us"

"I promise, once it's all over you and me are going to my family home in Aspen…just the two of us. I have a lot of making up to do"

She giggles. Fuck, I've missed that laugh the last 3 days. I love her laugh.

She grabs a few things and puts her hair up into a ponytail. She tells her Dad goodbye and hugs him.

He whispers something which I can only assume is him being protective of her again.

She follows me to my car and I open the passenger side for her, letting her slip in before I climb in the driver's side and starts to make our leave back towards my house.

I'm nervous as fucking hell, how am I even supposed to start? My hands start to shake as I pull up outside of my house.

I stare up at it but I'm pulled from my thoughts as her hand reaches over caressing mine.

"You can do this…" She nods at me reassuringly.

What would I do without her? I could never do this without her.

I give her a small nervous smile before climbing out and I move around her door and she laces our fingers as we walk up to the house.

I open the door entering and it's quiet.

"Christian?"

My mom is still here. Thank goodness.

She walks into view smiling, but I soon notice her lips curl into a bigger smile at the sight of Ana.

"Ana darling…" She moves to hug her, "You didn't tell me Ana was coming, I would have made lunch"

"I wasn't sure she would come Mom…but she's here now"

I smile retaking her hand in mine and she rests against me., gently stroking her thumb over my knuckles. It's so calming.

"I'll go and make some sandwiches then…"

Oh, here it goes. No turning back now. My hands are sweating, my heart is pounding roughly in my chest. I've never panicked so badly before. But I know this is something I have to do, she turns to walk to the kitchen but Ana gently squeezes my hand pulling me out of my panic.

"Wait, Mom… Ana's here for a reason…I asked her to come because, well…it's complicated…but can I talk to you? Please?"

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	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18…

"Is everything alright?"

"Not really, but… I hope it will be"

We all move to sit at the dining room table. Ana next to me, with Mom opposite.

I'm so fucking nervous. How am I supposed to even start this?

How am I supposed to tell her what happened?

Thank fuck Ana is here.

I sit beside her and I keep her hand tightly in mine. It's so soothing as she runs her thumb encouragingly over my knuckles.

She's going to hate me, She's going to disown me, I'll be such a disappointment, the thoughts cloud my mind.

How am I supposed to start? I think for a moment before looking at her.

"Ana knows about this…she has for a while and it's something I couldn't talk to you about without her" I look to Ana as I finish the sentence, she smiles sadly but strokes my hand encouragingly.

I look back to my Mom and she's gazing at us worriedly.

"Please tell me, Christian, you're worrying me…" She pleads with her eyes.

"Someone has claimed I've gotten them, pregnant Mom…"

Her eyes widen, "Wh-What…I didn't realize you had a …I thought you and Ana were…."She stumbles over her words in shock but I know what she's trying to say.

"No Mom, Me and Ana, well, this all happened before she got here, it was just a thing… I…it was nothing" I look down and clenches my jaw. How the fuck am I supposed to tell her, I can't even look her in the eyes right now.

Ana gently squeezes my hand and gazes into my eyes reassuringly. I'm lost in her eyes for a moment.

She's a fucking angel.

"I haven't been helping Elena in the gardens Mom…" I look back at her, I can see the confusion on her face as she looks from me to Ana, then back to me.

"Elena and I have had…something…" I look to Ana in a panic, she gently squeezes my hand once again but I look down struggling with this. My jaw clenching harder again. Thinking.

"Do you want me to…" Ana asks and I nod quickly.

"Can someone please tell me what's going on…"My mom says in a panic moving to our side of the table and she kneels down beside me taking my other hand but I can't look at her.

My Mom looks up at Ana pleadingly.

"Mrs. Lincoln has been…well, how can I put this… seducing Christian…" Ana's voice is calm and collected, hinted with sadness.

My Mom gasps in horror and covers her mouth as tears start to fill her eyes.

"Christian…Christian" She cups my cheek making me look at her and I struggle, really struggle to look her in the eyes, "Is this true?".

I simply nod. What else am I supposed to do?

Her tears roll down her cheeks, I see her hands start to shake with the news.

"Mom, I'm sorry I didn't tell you before, but…it helped…in a weird fucked up way, it helped my anger…I was so fucking angry all the time, I kept hurting you, dad, Elliot, mia…It helped me what we were doing helped me, I thought it was normal…"

"This is all my fault, I brought her into our home, into our house…how could I not know this?! How could I not see?!"

I can't tell if she's talking more to herself or to me or to Ana. But I hate seeing her this distressed. Her hands are shaking, Her legs are like jelly as she stands and she grips the table to keep her upright.

"I need your help, Mom… I think she's plotting to keep me and Ana apart, I think this whole pregnancy thing is down to her. But Ana is the reason I stopped it all…Since she moved here she's made me realize it wasn't okay and Ana's shown me how it should be…She's given me hope and love and feelings I've never felt before…Elena doesn't approve of her…"

I watch as Ana's cheek blush, I lace our hands resting them in her lap. I love it when she blushes.

"Elena doesn't approve?! Someone I thought very dearly of came into my home, drank my champagne while seducing my Son! My son! And she doesn't approve of one of the nicest girls I have ever met?!"

She's livid. I can tell.

At least she approves of Ana, I knew this already, but it gives me a little hope of a better future. One where we can all get past this.

Hopefully, One day.

She's trying not to freak out too much for my sake, I can tell, but I can see the anger and nausea rising in her body.

She's shaking lividly.

She takes a deep breath in an attempt to calm her raging emotions and moves to sit in the chair beside me and turns it so she's facing head-on.

"I'm trying to stay calm because you need it, you need support and help to get through this, but when I leave this room, I will make sure hell rains upon that woman Christian…" She reaches up gently cupping my cheek. For once, It's comforting.

"Now tell me everything, I need to know everything… no details spared" She closes her eyes in preparation.

I'm so fucking nervous.

"It started I think the second time I went over to her gardens… I was angry with someone at school and they had sent me home after hitting them and I knocked them out…, she didn't have classes for the rest of the day and I knew you and Dad were working so she offered to drive me home, she smoothed it with the principal and convinced him not call you or Dad because of my past… We pulled up outside of her house and she told me she wanted to uhh…to show me something and so she took me into this room. It had all different kind of, of…things." Fuck this awkward. "She told me, it would be a good way to rid my anger in a different way, she explained things, showed me a few things, let me uhh…feel a few things and told me to think about it…My anger didn't go away easily so I thought about it more and more and then it started…"

"Oh, my darling boy…" She sighs sadly.

I squeeze Ana's hand tightly.

"It lasted a long time but then she told me I needed to start trying things with people my own age…she found people into the same things and would send them my way and vice versa… One was named Leila, we experimented for about 3 months but then I stopped it. It was around the same time Ana had transferred here and well…"I smile down at her, "She changed me, she made me want to be better".

"Mrs. Lincoln doesn't like me very much, she makes that very clear every time we meet and she's made it very hard for Christian and me to move forward" Ana looks sadly at Grace.

"One day Elena didn't turn up for the class but I caught them both outside in the parking lot, the next thing I know Elena is going onto Ana at the Gala and telling me Leila is pregnant"

"You think it's a lie?"

I nod.

"I think it's a way to keep me angry and away from Ana"

"Then we will do everything we can to sort this out…" She stands and starts to sob again.

Ana nudges me and I stand moving to her.

"Mom don't cry…"

"I'm so so sorry Christian…I feel so stupid, this is all my fault, how could I have not seen this? How could I have not known? She was meant to be my best friend… I brought her into your life, Christian I am so so sorry, can you please ever forgive me?"

"Mom you have nothing to apologize for, I just didn't want you to be disappointed in me," I say honestly.

"You could never disappoint me, Christian, I wish you had told me sooner, but I am so grateful you told me told me now and even more so for Ana for sticking by your side…" She looks up at me then to Ana.

I never let anyone hug me, except for Ana and occasionally Mia, but My mom looks at me.

She looks at me with such sadness, despair and hurt that I move a little closer and I gently move my arms around her.

She's a little surprised herself. She moves her arms around me but very gently. She's careful, although I never say it, I've never said it actually, but I do love her and I'm so grateful for everything she's done.

"It's going to be okay Mom…I promise".

She nods, "I'm going to call the police, the principal, the head of education, I'm going to end her…".

She moves to Ana wiping her eyes before wrapping her arms around her tightly. Ana looks at me over her shoulder giving me a sad smile as she hugs my Mom back. She whispers something into her ear but It's not loud enough for me to hear.

I feel like a weight has been lifted, but my heart hurts. It hurts because I hate seeing my Mom upset. But this time it's different, she's upset and angry, a volcano of emotions all at the same time and I worry that if she ever comes face to face with Elena again, she might explode.

I think she took it well considering but now I fear what she'll do.

After a long night, everyone is home and knows everything. The police have been here for the last 4 hours taking statements from myself, Ana and my Mom. My Mom has called the head of education and the principal to inform them of the situation so now I'm guessing Elena will lose her job too.

I feel fucking exhausted. Physically, emotionally and mentally.

It's been such a long day, people have come and gone into the house asking questions, taking fingerprints, DNA, all for inspection to further the investigation.

That's when we suddenly hear the loud screams and protests.

Everyone in the room looks at each other curiously before moving out to the porch and then we see it.

Elena in handcuffs spitting and cursing at the police as they escort her to the police car, "You have the right to remain silent, anything you do say will be taken and used as evidence in the court of law".

My Mom moves down to the car glaring at her. "Stay away from my Family, stay away from me, or I swear it'll be the last thing you ever do".

"You think you're such an angel Grace, you think you're such an amazing mother…I helped him. You couldn't do anything for him! Just remember that, dear old Grace!" She spits before the policemen are forcing her into the car.

I rush down to my Mom and I move my arm around her, "Don't listen to her….you're the best Mom I could have ever asked for"

She looks up at me and starts to cry again as we watch the car drive away.

Apparently, because it all started when I was 16, she was a person in trust as a teacher and I was still categorized as a minor, they took her to the station. Upon further investigation, partnering people together for sexual acts, using students in an illegal way and a few more things they said that went over my head because I'm just so exhausted, means that Elena could be facing a jail sentence if the jury finds her guilty in court.

We all head back into the house and I feel like everyone is looking at me with pity and I hate it.

"Can we just be normal? I don't want pity, I did it because I wanted it all over…I wanted her gone and I wanted my girl" I look to Ana and she smiles sleepily at me.

Now it's just the Leila situation to sort out. Is she pregnant, or isn't she? Once I know that Ana and I can finally move on.

I move to Ana who is yawning but manages to smile up at me. "How are you holding up?" She stands.

"I'll be okay, Once it's all over and people stop staring at me It'll be okay".

"I'm so proud of you, you know?" She smiles up at me.

I try to ignore her compliment by changing the subject, "So once the issue with Leila is sorted, can I take you out on a real date?"

"I thought you didn't date" She smirks playfully.

I fucking love this girl.

"Well, a certain girl has changed my mind about that" I slip my arms around her waist and I lean down kissing her gently.

"Yes…" She whispers against my lips.

She kisses me once more and my heart pounds like it never has before. What this girl does to me. I love her, I know I do.

I pull back and gazes down into her piercing blue eyes before gently stroking her cheek, "What did my Mom say to you earlier?"

"When?"

"When she hugged you…I heard she whispered something but I couldn't quite make it out…"

"Oh…that" Her lips curl into a smile and she leans into my touch, "She said that she hoped I'll never give up on you, that I make you happy and she's grateful I'm here at your side"

My smile grows and I nod content with that. She starts to yawn softly again and rests her forehead against my chest, and for once the pain doesn't come. Not even a little.

"Stay tonight?" I smile kissing the top of her head and she nods a little in response.

It's been a long day.

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I hope this chapter lived up to everyone's expectations. Had some great reviews for the last one and I thank you wholehearted for those! I hope you enjoyed this chapter….Update to come soon! Thanks for the support!


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19…

I wake in a sweat.

Oh my gosh, I'm so hot.

I look around the room and it's familiar, just like the other times I've stayed here. I gaze down at the tangled figure around me and I smile as Christian's legs are entwined with mine. He's laying here without his shirt and only his shorts and I'm here in my panties and his shirt. I love wearing his shirts.

I take the moment to gaze over his figure. His bare skin, his muscles, his scars.

Even with the scars, he's so handsome.

How did I get this lucky?

Everything he's been through and yet, it's me he's chosen. Little old me.

I keep gazing down at him for a little while longer before I get way too hot.

I carefully climb out of the bed and my mouth is dry from the heat. Gosh, I need some water.

They wouldn't mind if I went to get some right?

I take a peek at my phone. 3.53.

Gosh, it's early. Why am I even awake.

I carefully and quietly make my way downstairs, hoping not to wake anyone as I walk across the hall and down the stairs, moving into the kitchen.

I notice a small light on as I enter and I jump slightly as teary eyes are met with my own.

"Ana…darling, are you okay?"

Shit, It's Grace. I look down at my body. Shit, shit, shit. Great timing Ana. I'm here in only Christian's shirt and his Mom is right here. Shit.

I nod slightly, "Sorry, I didn't know anyone was awake, I was just hoping to get a glass of water..I'm sorry I hope you don't mind" I smile nervously playing my fingers together in front of me like I always do when I get nervous.

"Of course not, come in please…anything in this house you're welcome to okay? Call it your second home" My smile grows and I nod.

"Thankyou…a-are you okay?" I ask her as she tries to wipe away the tear before I notice it, but it's too late.

"I will be…I just can't sleep… I want to thank you though…"

I look curious, thank me?

"For what?" I move to grab the glass and putting in a little bit of tap water.

"I've seen such a change in Christian since he's met you…I really mean that he's so much calmer, he's caring, he's opening up and he's letting people in, slowly but it's happening" She smiles brightly talking about her son. She's so proud of him, I can see it in her eyes and It makes my heart swell.

"There's no need to thank me Grace, honestly… I care for him so much"

"I can see that and it means so much to me that you've found each other. He cares for you too, more than he'll probably ever admit to you… but he really cares for you, and for you stick by his side through everything that you know, then you're really something special Ana… I hope he never loses you"

I blush and I gently brush a stray curl behind my ear.

"He loves you Grace, I know that… You're an amazing Mom"

"I try to be…but sometimes, I fail," She says sadly before standing from her stool, "anyway, I'd better try to at least get a couple of hours… thank you for being here" She moves to me hugging me before she makes her way upstairs.

She's so so broken. I really feel for her. But we can do this, we can figure this out. All of us together.

I pick up my glass of water walking back along the hall when I hear shouting. It's pained and strained. Like a horror movie terror scream and I panic.

"No! No! Nooooo!"

Shit, is that Christian? I move a little quicker opening the door and I rush inside when I see him thrashing in his blankets.

I quickly put my glass of water onto the bedside table before climbing on the bed, I gently shake his shoulders but it doesn't work. I cup his cheeks, soothing my thumbs along his cheekbones.

"Christian….Christian wake up…I'm here…wake up…Christian…" I shake his shoulder once more and his eyes shoot open in terror. His body is swimming in glistening sweat, his breathing so rapid I can see his heart pound through the skin of his chest.

"Hey…you're okay…you're okay…"

"D-Did you leave me?" He says hoarsely, his poor voice strained with fear.

"I'm sorry I went to get some water" He wraps his arms around me and pulls me back to lay beside him. He hides his face into my shoulder.

"Never leave me…please never leave me…"

I shake my head as I gently run my hand through his hair, "I won't" I whisper reassuringly. His breathing starts to calm a little as I keep him held against my body. His eyes finally open and he starts to trail little patterns along my arm soothingly.

"Are you okay? Do you want to talk about it?"

He shrugs slightly, "They're always the same.., about My real Mom, about him…the burns…the chase…" He closes his eyes in pain again.

"I'm sorry…" I place a small kiss to his forehead and he looks up at me.

"Thank you for being here…"

"I love being here…"I gently stroke his cheekbone before I lean down to gently kiss his lips.

Trying to take his mind away from all the bad, I feel him smile against my lips. It's working. Now I just need to keep it up.

"So…My Mom called a little while back" I bite my lip slightly.

"You don't talk much about your Mom…is everything okay?" He shifts a little so he can look at me better.

"Yeah, it's complicated I guess… but she's getting married again and well, she wants me to be there…she told me that I could bring a guest.. and I was wondering if maybe, you'd like to come with me?"

I watch as his lips turn into a bright smile. It's definitely working.

"I'd love to…"

"Really?!" He nods chuckling as he leans up kissing me gently.

"Really Really"

He leans up hovering over the top of me and I gaze up at him smiling.

"When is it?"

"It's in 3 weeks, I didn't want to go…but if you come, then I'm hoping it won't be so bad" He leans down pecking my lips.

"I'll be there," He says against my lips before kissing me again then moves back to lay next to me, both of us laying on our sides gazing at each other.

"Hopefully, by then I'll find out if I have this new job too" He smiles more gently stroking my arm.

"I have no doubt in my mind, you'll get this job" I smile more at him and he kisses me softly before we both drift to sleep once again in each other's arms.

I never imaged this. I never imagined us. But now? I couldn't imagine him not being around.

A couple of hours later we wake again to a knock at the door, Christian groans softly as he stirs underneath me, my head rested on his chest with my eyes still closed.

"Come in" He calls out sleepily and his Mom opens the door slowly.

My eyes open slightly just to see who it is before awkwardly moving to sit up in a nervous panic when I see it's Grace. I know she knows I'm here, but I don't want her to think badly of me. Would she? I doubt it, but still. I'm still a little nervous I guess.

"Morning sweetheart, Everyone else left earlier this morning and I was going to let you both lay in, but there are some investigators downstairs that need to talk to you again". She says sadly.

Will this ever end? I hope so for their sake.

I look back at Christian who closes his eyes sighing and uses his hand to rub at his eyes in frustration.

"I'll be down in a minute"

She nods slightly giving us both a small smile before closing the door again.

I look at him and moves to kneel in front of him.

"Are you okay?"

"I'd be better if I could stay in bed with you" He chuckles softly but leans up a little and kisses the tip of my nose.

It's so sweet.

"Will you come with me?"

I nod, of course, I will.

He climbs out of bed and starts to get dressed. I can't help but take sneaky glances. The more time we spend together, the more I get this feeling. I'm not sure what it is, I've never experienced it before but the butterflies in my stomach are going at 100 miles per hour. It's a strange but wonderful feeling.

Not having any other clothes here, Grace kindly brought me a simple pair of jeans and a t-shirt from Mia's room and I'm grateful.

I get dressed and I catch him taking his own sneaky peeks from the mirror opposite me, I blush but smirks slightly.

He coughs nervously as I remove my shirt and I'm left in my bra as I reach for Mia's simple white t-shirt.

"Are you okay?" I look curious as I look over my shoulder.

"You are so fucking beautiful…I didn't mean to look, but fuck…"

I laugh softly and I walk to him smiling, I lean up on my tippy toes pecking his lips.

"We'd better head down…"

"Tease!" He smirks before taking my hand walking to the door. When we reach the stairs he takes a deep braving breath before we descend down and find two police investigators sitting at the dining room table and Christian guides me to the other side of the table, we take a seat and Christian keeps my hand in his underneath the table. His Mom stood in the doorway wanting to hear and support.

"We are sorry to bother you again, but we have some information about Miss Leila Williams?"

"What about her?" Christian says coldly and I gently squeeze his hand.

Stay calm Christian, You can do this.

"After everything you told us last night, we went to visit Miss Williams this morning to further the investigation…It turns out that Miss Williams is indeed pregnant"

"What?!"

What? My own eyes widen.

Shit, why did that hurt?

"We have the proof she is pregnant Mr. Grey, but we came here to inform you that Miss Williams has confessed that Mrs. Lincoln did, in fact, pay her to persuade you that the child is yours. After careful consideration, Miss Williams told us her situation and has, in fact, informed us, you are not the father of the child"

He squeezes my hand under the table. My heart is pounding so fast.

Then suddenly we're relieved. It's not Christians? Then who's is it? Who even cares, It's not Christians and now we can finally all move on.

"How does she know it's not mine? I need to be 100 percent certain…"

The officers nod, "We understand sir, we have these photographs of the scan photos that she's already had to have for medical reasons and we brought them with us prove to you and let your mind be at rest, Miss William's has also agreed to any DNA tests you request just for you to be certain too"

They place two photographs in front of us.

Two scan photos at different angles.

"You'll see that she is only 6 weeks pregnant…We are to believe that your relationship ended with Miss Williams sooner than this?"

Christian nods but then looks to me smiling, is that tears in his eyes?

"Yes! Fuck yes! Leila and I broke it off roughly 3 months ago, I know this because it was when Ana moved here" He squeezes my hand.

"Miss William's was given a warning about her situation with Mrs. Lincoln but we had no reason to charge her, she was, in fact, another victim of Mrs. Lincoln's deals and has agreed to give a witness statement in court against her. That's all we have for now… You'll be informed of Mrs. Lincoln's court dates very shortly, enjoy the rest of your day" They nod standing and Christian stands to shake their hands.

"Thank you…" They nod and Grace shows them to the front door.

Christian puts his head into his hands and rests onto the table. I watch him for a moment gently resting my hand on his thigh before Grace comes along and places a kiss to the top of his head.

"It's over darling… you're free" She whispers and I smile.

He lifts his head up smiling and he does, in fact, have tears in his eyes as he looks at me, then to his Mom.

"It's over"

I nod, "It's over", I smile more.

He leans over to me and kisses me lovingly right in front of his Mom, who just seems to stand there and cry as she watches him proudly.

"let's go out for dinner tonight, All of us…" He says with such ease, such calm.

I can see the burden and weight lifted from his shoulders.

He's free. We are free.

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	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20…

"Carrick!" My Mom stands quickly from the dining table as we eat breakfast. My Dad entering after working away on a case. He drops his suitcase at the front door. He looks exhausted.

"I got your voicemail and texts and I got the first flight I could, it was a tough case I'm sorry,…what's going on?"

He kisses my Mom gently and she hugs him tightly.

"Dad!" Mia runs to him hugging him and Elliot hands him a cup of coffee.

"It's nice to be home" He smiles hugging Mia and sips his coffee.

I start to grow nervous. Telling my Mom about Elena was one thing, but now I have to tell my Dad too.

My Mom thought it best not to tell him what happened over the phone especially while he was working away. I agreed but now I find myself nervous, shaking almost. Also, Ana isn't here at my side.

My palms are sweaty and my leg starts to tap under the table anxiously.

What am I supposed to do?

"Come and sit down Carrick…we have some things to talk about…" My Mom escorts him to the table opposite and she sits beside me.

He taps my shoulder in greeting and gives me a smile, "Morning Christian…"

"Morning Dad".

Fuck.

"Mia, Elliot, can you guys head off early this morning?"

"Sure thing, Come on sis, I'll drive us" Elliot bites into his piece of toast as he stands to pick up his keys. Mia pours her coffee into a travel mug and follows him out of the door. We watch them both leave before my Dad looks curiously.

"Should I be worried?" Carrick looks at me, then to Mom.

Should he? I don't know.

"Carrick…something happened with Christian…"

"Did you get expelled again?" He looks serious but I think he's joking.

Is he trying to lighten the tension? I don't know.

Fuck sake. Okay, I know I'm bad but, give me some credit. I am trying.

"No Dad, I didn't get expelled"

"Carrick, try to be understanding okay? It's been very difficult dealing with this and we didn't want to worry you while you were away…"

"Okay, now you're worrying me, what's happened?"

He looks to me, then I look to my Mom. I can't do it. Without Ana here I don't feel brave. I just feel angry and I feel like a disappointment.

Mom gently takes my hand lovingly before looking back at my Dad.

"We've had to file charges against Elena… she.." She looks down likes she's about to cry.

"It's okay Mom" I squeeze her hand.

I hate seeing her like this.

"Elena and I…well… things happened, not okay things…I thought it was normal, but they weren't…she's been arrested"

"What things?" He grits his teeth.

"She seduced him, Carrick, all these years" She starts to cry.

Fuck, Mom, It's fine really.

We also discuss Leila and he encourages to file for a DNA just to be 100 percent certain about the baby.

The rest of that conversation was horrible. My Dad will be representing me in court so had to tell him all of the details. I have never felt so awkward in my entire life. It was horrible.

His facial expressions of disgust and hurt. Pain and sadness.

I know they blame themselves but really it's not their fault.

I agreed to it. Stupid fucked up me agreed to it.

I often wonder what would have happened if Ana had never come along.

What if she never came here? What if she never gave me the chance?

What if one day she leaves me?

She wouldn't, would she?

Once that awful conversation with my Dad is over, I head upstairs to choose an outfit for my interview and Ana's Mom's wedding.

I'm so glad she asked me to go, I'm quite excited. There'll be nothing and no one there to ruin it. No Elena, No Jack. Just the two of us.

Fuck I hope her Mom likes me.

What if she thinks I'm a bad influence?

I'll just have to be on my best behavior.

Ana has been looking for a dress but she doesn't seem to like anything. What is it with girls and clothes?

But anyway, I've repeatedly told her she'll look beautiful in anything but she never believes me.

The plan is to fly down to Georgia on Friday and then back on Monday, with the wedding being all day Saturday.

My phone pings with a text message and I feel my lips curl into a smile when I see her name.

_'Can't find a dress. I have been looking online during all my free periods and nothing! I'm not going. :( xx'_

_'Ana, you will look lovely in anything, what about the dress Mia made you? Xx'_

_'My Mom says it's just a small low key thing, so I think it might be a little too dressy :( xx'_

_'Why don't you come to Seattle with me, Once my interview is over I'll take you shopping, My treat xx'_

_'I can't miss College, Urgggh! Why does My Mom have so many weddings xx'_

_'LOL! I can't answer that one! Come on, It's just one day of college, you only have one class, you can catch up! Xx' _

_'Fine! Okay! Are you sure you don't mind me coming? Xx'_

_'Of course not, I'd love for you to be there, I was planning on leaving at 5 am though, is that okay? Do you want me to pick you up? Or you can stay here? Xx'_

_'It might be easier if I stay there? If that's okay xx'_

_'More than okay, we love having you here, My Dad got home this morning though… so now he knows everything xx' _

_'Oh gosh, how did that go? I know you were nervous? P.s, I love staying with you too xx' _

_'He's angry, and he hasn't really spoken to me since, so I think he's just processing it. I'm sure it'll be okay… How about I pick you up at 6 we can go for dinner then back to mine tonight? Xx'_

_'I can Imagine, he'll be okay though..it might just take some time. That sounds wonderful, I'll see you soon! xx'_

_'Enjoy college ;) See you soon xx'_

After everything, I decided not to go to college. It's all been a little overwhelming and after speaking to the principal he has authorized the week off, so I decided to take it.

But tomorrow is the big interview day. I'm nervous but I'm also feeling confident.

The only issue is, If I get this job I have to figure out my options and I have to decide on one:

1\. I leave college and take the job full time.

2\. Apply and transfer to College in Seattle with the job on the side.

3\. I move to Seattle.

4\. I travel back and forth every day.

There are so many more options too, I'm just over thinking everything.

Fuck, I don't even know if I got the job yet. Yet, I fond myself constantly thinking.

I'm so torn by my choices. My Mom wants me to do what makes me happy and my Dad doesn't want me to drop out of College in case it goes wrong.

I'm not too sure what I'm supposed to do but I know, whatever happens, it's meant to be.

My only worry is Ana. I know she'll stay here, she has to finish college, but what If we can't make it work?

Will she want to make it work?

I've never felt this way about someone before and I don't want to lose it, I don't want to lose her.

She mentioned once that she would love to go to Seattle and get a publishing career there. So maybe, just maybe…together we could make it work between us.

I'm so glad she agreed to come tomorrow. I think maybe it could be an insight into the future. A future for us. The two of us in Seattle. I can see it now.

My Mom spends a lot of time with me today. I'm guessing she's taken the day off work to make sure I'm okay, but even with me repeatedly telling her I'm fine, she's still fussing. But for once, It doesn't annoy me.

"So…you and Ana? Are you together now?"

"Uhm..yeah I think so, I hope so…"

"She's a wonderful girl Christian, I think you two have a bright future"

"I hope so…" I sigh.

"I don't think she's going to let you down anytime soon darling," She says as she kisses the top of my head before she makes her way into the kitchen.

"I'm picking Ana up soon, is it okay if she stays tonight? She's coming to Seattle with me because she needs to find a dress for her Mom's wedding"

"Of course darling, she's welcome here anytime, I'll make an extra plate at dinner!" She says excitedly.

Shit, I told Ana we'd go for dinner, but Mom sounds excited about having her here for I can't let her down after everything over the last couple of days.

"Sure Mom, I'm sure she'd love that" I give a small smile before moving to grab my keys and makes my way down the street to Anas.

I'm a little early but I'm sure she won't mind.

When I arrive she's sitting on the porch with her Dad both sipping from their mugs.

I pull up and climbs out, as soon as she sees me I watch as her lips grow into a bright smile.

I make my way up the path and smiles at her father, then at her.

"Christian…" He nods at me with a small smile.

"Mr. Steele.."

"Ray…please…No more Mr. Steele, it makes me sound old" He smirks and I laugh nodding as I shake his hand.

"Thanks, Ray"

"Come to steal my daughter away again?"

"I certainly have sir" I smirk and it makes Ana giggle.

Fuck, I love her giggle. It is so precious.

"Sorry I'm a little early, are you ready to go?"

"Yeah let me just grab my things, I won't be long, do you want a drink or something?"

"No thanks, I'm good" I nod smiling and watches as she heads inside leaving me with her Dad.

"So…I just want to say thank you" I look curious as Ray talks. "Ana has never been one to really fit in, or make friends easily…but coming here, she's come out of her shell and she's grown so much. I think that's thanks to you and your little group of friends…but mainly you, I over judged you a little and was a little blunt with you during your last visit here and I just wish to apologize. I can see how happy you make her and that's enough for me" He smiles appreciatively as he stands and offers me his hand, "Just look after my baby girl okay? You're a good guy, I can see that".

"It's fine really, I understand and I promise Ray, I have no intentions of letting her go"

"That's what I like to hear son" He smiles nodding before he heads inside with his mug of coffee and Ana comes out with her bag of things.

"Okay, I'm good" She smiles brightly and steps closer to me.

To my surprise, she tippy-toes up and pecks my lips.

This girl is mine, for now, and forever. I'm not letting her go.

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Sorry for the delay in an update! This is A little shorter than my usual chapters as it's just a connecting chapter ready for the big ones to come! Stay tuned for another update coming tomorrow!

Once again, Thanks to all my readers and reviewers! I really appreciate all of your support!

Next chapters will include, Seattle…The interview…The wedding…and a little twist! Stay tuned!


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21…

"Ana…"

Mmm… what's that. I stir slightly. I feel absolutely exhausted.

"Ana…we're here"

His hand gently brushes my hair behind my ear and he leans over kissing my head.

He's so sweet it makes my heart melt.

I stir a little more and I let my eyes flutter open and I smile over at him.

He looks so handsome in his suit. My eyes gaze over him then out to the window seeing the big city surrounding us.

Wow.

My lips curl into a sleepy smile as I take in the view.

The skyscrapers, the cars, the buildings, the people, everything.

It's beautiful. It's everything I expected it to be.

I look back to Christian and smiles brightly.

"How are you feeling?"

"Honestly? A little nervous, but I'm glad you're here"

"Me too…it's so beautiful here…" I gaze back out of the window as he nods.

"It is…Hopefully one day I'll call it home"

My smile grows and I look back at him.

He wants to move here. That's good, right?

I'd love the opportunity to find a career here too.

Maybe we were meant to meet. Maybe we are meant to be together. Only time will tell I guess.

"We made good time so I'm a little early, did you want to grab some breakfast? There's a nice little cafe thing down the street from where the interview is"

"Sounds perfect…my Dad insisted he pays to wish you luck" I grin.

"Not a chance…I'm paying" He smirks right back and I shake my head.

"Nope, he insisted" I lean over kissing his cheek giggling before climbing out.

I stand at the side of the car listening to the noises. The noises of the city. I absolutely adore it. I never thought it would be this amazing.

He moves to my side moving his arm gently around my waist smiling, "Ready?".

I nod answering as we start to walk.

Christian isn't the same Christian I first met.

He's calmer, sweeter, less angry and honestly? I'm falling deeper and deeper for him.

I think very soon I could honestly say, I love him.

After everything, he's been through, after everything he's told me, everything I know. He's so strong and brave and he's changing. He's changing for me and I think with this job too, I think it would be the making of a bright future for him. For us? Maybe.

I hope he gets it, I have every single finger and toe crossed that he does. I know his Dad has given the business a recommendation for him beforehand, so I'm hoping that will definitely help him.

As we walk, his hand gently slips from my waist and into my hand as he laces our fingers together. I can tell he's nervous but he's going to Ace it, I just know it.

We turn the corner and he moves to open the door to the most adorable little cafe I've ever seen.

The windows are opened wide and there's black lace like seating with black glass tables.

"This is adorable" I smile moving to one of the window seats and I hear him laugh, "What?" I look at him as I take a seat.

"Only a woman could think a cafe is adorable" He smirks sitting opposite me.

I roll my eyes smirking, "Whatever" I poke my tongue teasingly, childish I know. But, it's the way we are.

He laughs more and picks up the menu looking it over.

"Hi, can I take your order?" A woman comes over to take our order.

"Can I get a black tea with a chocolate croissant please?"

"Of course!" She jots it down in her little notepad.

"I'll take a black coffee with a lemon drizzle cake"

"Sure thing, I'll get those straight out for you guys"

She smiles taking our menus and heads back towards the counter, I smile at Christian.

"Lemon cake? I wouldn't have taken you for a lemon guy" I tease smiling.

"I'm full of surprises" He smirks more and laughs, "What kind of guy would you have taken me for?"

I love hearing him laugh.

"Chocolate, definitely chocolate" I grin.

"I'm definitely a chocolate guy, but more dinnertime" We both laugh softly and the awkwardness that was once between us all those weeks ago has gone. We're so comfortable around each other now it just seems so natural.

"Do you know how long the interview will take?" I smile and soon the woman is bringing over a tray with our things.

"Enjoy guys, if there's anything else I can do for you, let me know"

"Thank you" I smile in acknowledgement and She reciprocates the smile sweetly and makes her leave to serve another table.

I sip my tea as I watch Christian sip his coffee, "I think probably maybe an hour? Are you sure you're okay to wait?"

"Yeah, of course, I'll probably just wait in here, I brought a book with me to keep me occupied"

"You and your books" He smiles at me before he starts on his cake.

"Do you know where you want to go to look for dresses?"

"I'm not entirely sure of what stores are here, I'll google while you're in your interview"

He nods and sips his coffee again, I watch as he looks up at the tall building that's right in view. He's thinking, he's nervous, but I just know he'll be okay. I gently put my hand on his leg and it brings him from his thoughts and he looks down at me. His lips curl into a smile and he leans down to kiss me softly which I willingly take, to take his mind from reeling.

"You're going to do amazing, I just know it" I whisper softly against his lips.

"I hope so, I want to make a new start, have a future you know?"

"You will… I think it'll be a great opportunity for you"

He nods and looks back out to the building.

"I might have to move here if I get the job"

"How does that make you feel?"

"Honestly? Excited, I've always had my heart set on heading to the city anyway and maybe even trying for a business of my own one day, once I've got my foot in you know?"

I feel like there's a but involved, I bite my lip thinking if I should prod further but my mouth runs away with me, as my curious mouth always does.

"But?"

He smiles and looks back at me, "But when I was thinking about this life, I never imaged someone to come along and change my views, change the way I think and feel and I'm not sure I could ever let that go".

Oh. My. Gosh.

Is he talking about me? He couldn't let me go? I don't think I could let him go either.

My heart is pounding hard in my chest. My cheeks blush and I look up into his eyes, "We could make it work if we both want it too…It's not too far away" I smile softly as I sip my tea.

"Is that something you want? To make it work? Us work?" He says a little cautiously but also with curiosity and hope. That hope is everything. For him. For me.

"I'd like to, If you do too"

"I do, more than you know" He smiles brightly before looking at his watch and stands, "I'd better get going… are you sure you're okay here?"

I nod laughing, "Yes get going, I'll be fine I promise" He pulls out his wallet and I shake my head.

"Buy me dinner later, breakfast is on my Dad to wish you luck, now get your ass going!"

"My ass is going…" He smirks and he leans down kissing me gently, "I'll see you soon, tell your Dad thanks for breakfast"

"Good luck, I'll see you soon" I cup his cheek kissing him back gently before watching him head off.

I'm nervous for him. He wants this so much, He needs it so much. I just hope they give him the chance.

I order another tea before pulling out my book, Romeo and Juliet.

I know, fitting right? I giggle to myself thinking about Christian and I as I start to read.

The waitress brings over my tea and with a thankyou, I continue to read.

_'My bounty is as boundless as the sea, _

_My love as deep; the more I give to thee, _

_The more I have, for both are infinite.' _

The more I read the more I think about Christian. I wonder if he's thought about us. About the future. Love? Marriage? Children?

I know it's early, but I don't mean just with me. I simply mean, I wonder if he wants that with anyone.

Every woman wants marriage and love and children and I'm not ruled out of that. I just wonder if he does. He's already said he doesn't want to lose me, and he won't because, after everything we've been through, I don't think I could make this bond with anyone else.

I've even thought about him in ways I never thought of doing before marriage. I find my mind wandering to things I've never done or things I have no experience what so ever in.

Would I be enough for him? Could I please him in those ways? Am I what he wants?

I'm afraid honestly. I want to give myself to him completely but I'm afraid that he'll be disappointed and one day, he'll be gone. I've never imagined having more than one guy in my life, I'm so old fashioned in that way. I've grown up with morals of giving yourself to one man, especially watching my Mom's reputation, and now that kind of scares me. What if one day, Christian doesn't want me anymore? What if one day, he breaks my heart. Or I break his.

I'm thinking way too much into this, snap out of it Ana. I scold myself internally bringing myself back to the book.

The time passes and I look down to my watch, it's been 45 minutes already. Time is flying by and I'm on my third cup of tea. I pay the waitress with the money my Dad gave me before sitting in the window gazing out at the building. Praying he's got it.

That's when I finally see him emerging from the building. He moves out into the air taking in a deep breath. His hand runs through his hair and I watch him curiously. The way his shirt presses against his muscles, the way his tie hangs around his neck as he loosens it, allowing him to take a deeper breath. Then his smile grows. Is that good?

I hope so!

He makes his way across the road and down the street back towards the cafe. I stand and makes my way outside to meet him.

"How did it go?!"

"I think…I think it went well…"

"I knew it would! Did they tell you if you got the job?"

"They said they have one more applicant to interview after me but they'll call me by the end of the day"

"That's amazing! I'm so proud of you"

His smile grows as his arms gently slip around my waist and his forehead leans against mine, "I have you to thank for giving me the confidence and the will to keep on trying"

My smile grows hearing his words and I gently snake my arms around his neck as he leans down kissing me lovingly.

I melt into his kiss. The way his lips mould against mine. The way his hand gently caresses my back.

I'm done, I'm putty in his hands. I want this man forever and always.

He smiles against my lips before using his one hand to move to my cheek, gently stroking against my cheekbone. He's so gentle, so soft. So completely different from the first Christian I met.

"Come on, let's go find you that dress".

We make our way through the city and we head to every dress shop we can find. Between each store, he takes every opportunity to hold my hand, kiss me on the head or cheek, or lips and I love it. I love us.

In the stores, he's searching the rails with me and finally we settle on a light pink, almost salmon coloured dress that hugs my curves in all the right places. The dress lays across my chest, just under my collar bone, leaving my shoulders bare. It's absolutely beautiful.

"I have a salmon tie I could match with this…it'll be perfect" He grins.

I giggle smiling and nods, "I'll go and try it on" He nods smiling moving to the seat opposite my dressing my room, waiting for me to come back out.

I pull the fabric up my body, shimmying into it. It hugs every curve on my body and I almost don't recognise that's it's even mine.

Is that really my body? Is that really me? I never imaged my style changing so much just from the people I spend time with but I find myself loving it. Normally, I choose only baggy clothes, large t-shirts, baggy dresses to hide my figure, jeans, hoodies. But Christian, Mia and Kate, everyone here has given me the confidence to open myself up more and I find myself enjoying it. I look in the mirror and I smile before I open the curtain to watch Christian's eyes widen on awe.

"Wow…I uhh…wow.."

I giggle at his reaction, "Can you just help me with the zip? I can't reach the top"

He nods as I watch him bite his lip and he almost coughs slightly clearing his throat.

He seems like those flustered men in romantic movies.

Am I doing that to him?

Gosh, I hope so.

I turn my back to him and he carefully moves behind me, I hear him take a deep breath as I feel his gentle fingers lightly shaking against my skin as he pulls the zipper to the top of the dress.

"Fuck Ana, you have no idea what you're doing to me" He whispers against the back of my ear and I blush biting my lip, gently pushing my hair behind my ear as I gaze at us both into the mirror in front of us.

"I feel the same" I whisper back at him, my eyes meeting with his in the mirror and I hear him lightly groan at my words as he leans down placing a kiss against the top of shoulder. I close my eyes at the touch of his lips.

It feels so good.

Then, suddenly we're both pulled from our thoughts as his phone starts to ring in his pocket.

"Great fucking timing" He groans teasingly before chuckling pulling his phone out of his pocket.

"Who is it?"

"It's them..Fuck…"

"Go answer it! Go Go Go!" I shoo him away," I'll pay for the dress and meet you outside..Go Go!" I laugh watching him rush out and he answers. I watch him for a moment, his lips moving in conversation and then his smile growing.

I quickly change out of my dress and moves to pay the cashier then heads outside hopefully.

"Well?" I bite my lip cautiously.

He takes one step, then two steps towards me before lifting me up into my arms and he swings me around.

"I got it, Ana! I fucking got it! I can't believe it!"

"You did?!" I wrap my arms around his neck squealing as he spins me, "Ah Christian, I'm so so happy for you! I knew you could do it!"

"It's all because of you baby" He smiles brightly putting me back onto my feet and I laugh.

"When do you start?"

"That's the only issue, I start the Monday we were meant to fly home from your Mom's" He sighs softly gently stroking my cheek.

"Hey, that's not a problem, we can figure it out…It's an amazing opportunity! Don't worry about the wedding"

"Are you sure it's okay? I'll definitely come to the wedding with you, I might just have to leave earlier, Maybe Sunday night?"

"Christian, this is amazing, of course it's okay… Sunday would be perfect, you'll be there with me for the wedding, the rest we can figure out" I smile more.

"I just can't believe it, I can't fucking believe I actually got it, I'm just…I'm speechless"

"I had no doubts what so ever, you'll be an asset to their company..you're going to be amazing"

His smile grows to the biggest I think I've seen.

This Christian, carefree, happy and a bright future ahead, is my favourite. He is my favourite.

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	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22…

_"This is your Captain speaking… I am pleased to inform you we have landed in Georgia. It is 10 am and 25 degrees outside and sunny, On behalf of the cockpit and flight crew, we thank you all for flying with us today and we hope you had a pleasant ride. Please remember to take all of your belongings with you, enjoy the rest of your day, Thankyou" _

Christian smiles at me as he grabs my carry on bag from the overhead locker handing it to me and then collecting his own.

"Are you ready?"

"Not really" I laugh teasingly as we make our way out of the airport.

"You don't speak much about your Mom…" He says cautiously.

"I don't speak much to my Mom... I love her I really do and I know she loves me too, but once my Dad died, my real dad, she's just been an incurable romantic and I feel she just falls for any man that gives her attention. My Dad, Ray…he was amazing and the best thing that ever happened to the both of us… and she just blew him off as quick as she took him on" I say sadly as we sit in the taxi making our way to my Mom's house.

"I see…" He reaches over putting his hand on my thigh.

"Bob, well…Bob is fine, he's a little…angry at times and that's one of the reasons I decided to move in with my Dad… I couldn't take the arguments anymore…I couldn't watch my Mom go through another relationship, watch her choose every man over me, no matter what had happened, she also likes her drink, no matter what time of day it is" I look out the window and I feel him gently squeeze my thigh and I smile sadly as I look back at him.

"Well…I'm here this time and hopefully that will make it easier for you"

I nod. I'm so glad he's here with me. Honestly, I'm not sure I would have come without him.

I'm dreading him leaving Sunday, I wish I had just agreed to fly back with him, but my Mom convinced me into girl time before I leave. So now I have to say goodbye to Christian Sunday morning and fly home alone Monday after spending time with my Mom Sunday evening. I already know 'Girls Time' will turn into her bringing Bob along. I should have just agreed to leave with Christian.

A little while longer in the taxi, we pull up outside of the house. I take a deep breath before climbing out with my bag and Christian follows my lead. He takes my hand reassuringly.

Thank goodness he's here with me. I lace our fingers tightly and I start to feel nervous knocking at the door.

The door opens quickly, "Annie! My baby girl" My Mom wraps her arms tightly around me in a hug making me let go of Christian's hand.

"Hi, Mom…"

"I'm so glad you came! How was your flight? My gosh, you've grown… and your clothes… you've changed so much!"

I smile awkwardly and nods.

"And who is this very handsome man? Is this him?" She looks up at Christian and I roll my eyes giggling softly.

Christian simply laughs and nods offering her his hand, "Christian Grey, thank you for having me to come and celebrate your day"

"I'm Carla and you are very welcome Christian, we're glad to have you here with our Annie" She smiles taking and shaking his hand before she leans slightly towards me and she whispers into my ear.

"Very handsome and chivalrous too".

"Mom…" I scold her but she simply laughs and leads us inside. I can already smell the alcohol.

Christian's arm moves around my waist and I lean into his touch trying to calm my beating nervous heart, which I'm grateful for.

"Tea? Coffee? Something a little stronger? And Will you two be staying in the same room? Or shall I make up the sofa bed down here?" She smiles looking at us as she moves into the kitchen.

"Mom….it's 11 am… I think it's a little early for something stronger" I bite my lip sighing.

She's still drinking then.

"It's never too early for a little pick me up, darling…"

"Tea will be fine…" She looks to Christian and I feel him gently stroke my side in an attempt to calm me.

"Coffee will be great thank you Carla" He gives her a small smile before she heads back into the kitchen.

Christian kisses the top of my head and I sigh moving to rest my forehead against his chest.

"It's going to be okay…" He gently lifts my chin up and pecks my lips.

"I hope so"

Mom soon returns back with a tea, a coffee, a glass of wine and some biscuits on a plate.

"Please Christian, make yourself at home…" She smiles gesturing to the couch and we both move to sit beside each other.

"I'm so happy to have you both here… I'm so glad you made it" She smiles as she sips her wine.

I nod as I sip my tea, "So, did I need to make to the sofa bed up?" She grins at us both and I roll my eyes.

"No Mom…it's fine we can manage…thanks though"

She nods as she sips her wine, "So Christian…what is it you do? Are you both in College?"

"Yes…we met at College but I have decisions to make very soon, I may have to move to Seattle because I've just been offered a job with a big Business company there, so I may have to move or transfer"

"Wow…Business, that's wonderful, Seattle too, isn't that where you want to go, Annie?"

"Yeah, I'd love to go into publishing, SIP would be the dream"

"That's good for you both then…" She says hopefully.

She seems to really like Christian, which I'm thankful for. She seems impressed.

But at the same time, I think she was a little shocked that I've brought him here. I don't think she ever expected me to meet anyone.

"So how long have you been together?" And soon her glass of wine is gone.

Oh Mom…I internally sigh sadly. I wish she would help herself.

Christian looks to me smiling as he answers, "We've known each other about 5 months now…and been together officially only a couple of weeks…I was a bit of a bad boy but your daughter tamed me"

"A bad boy huh? I never imagined you choosing a bad boy Annie, maybe you're more like your Mom than you think" She smirks teasingly but I don't find it funny.

I squeeze Christian's hand hard as I fake a smile.

She infuriates me sometimes.

"I think I'll show Christian around for a little while if that's okay"

She nods, "Of course! I have to sort some things out ready for tomorrow anyway…Bob is staying at a friends house…still bad luck to see the bride before the wedding, I'll order the 3 of us pizza tonight if that's okay with you both?" She laughs and smiles.

"Perfect" Christian nods smiling.

"Sounds great, thanks Mom"

"Of course darling" She kisses my forehead before she moves into the kitchen and I watch as she pours another glass of wine.

Christian watches me as I watch her. He gently tucks my hair behind my ear. "It might not be a good choice but…there's nothing you can do" He kisses the side of my head.

I nod sadly but stands to make my way upstairs showing Christian my room.

The next morning is chaos.

My Mom panicking and worrying if it's the right thing to do. If she's making the right choices.

Deep down I wish she wouldn't go through with it again but I do want her to be happy. So I help her with her dress, her hair, her make up before moving to get ready myself.

My Mom wasn't joking when she said it was a small wedding. A few of her friends are here, a few of Bob's then there's me and Christian. It's cute and quiet. It's nice and simple.

The ceremony goes well and only lasts roughly about half an hour. It's in a simple small registry office filled with red flowers. I'm sitting next to Christian as the vows are said and I feel him gently stroking my hand.

It's soothing to my nerves and I smile up at him as I gently start to play my fingers back against his.

His simple touch sends shivers through my body.

The things he does to me.

"I do…"

"I do…"

Everyone claps and cheers and we make our way back to the house and into the garden where a small little function tent has been raised that is decorated in all white, with red flowers and veils surrounding the room, tables and chairs. There's music playing with a large white cake in the central table.

"At least they have cake" Christian grins and I laugh at his childlike grin as he escorts me to the table and we take a seat.

My Mom and Bob both walk in hand in hand into the tent and everyone cheers on their arrival throwing confetti on them as they make their way further into the tent. Camera flashes filling the room.

"We would like to thank you all for coming to celebrate our special day with us…especially my darling Ana… Thank you my baby, I love you and I hope one day you'll find happiness and will one day be inviting me to your wedding too"

Tears fill my eyes hearing her. I miss her, I really do miss her but after everything, I can't stay here in Georgia. I've made a new life now and with Christian. I hope my happiness is with him.

We all raise our glasses to the bride and groom just as 'A thousand years' starts to play around the room and My Mom and Bob make their way to the dance floor I simply watch them together.

The way they look at each other, they're both smiling and they both seem happy.

I hope she'll be happy.

I hope the arguments have stopped.

I hope the anger has stopped.

Everyone lightly claps as the song comes to an end and my Mom looks to us smiling when the song has completely ended before making their way to the main table.

"Ana! I'm so glad you could be here…I know it meant a lot to your mother"

"Of course…I'm glad to be a part of your day"

"Does this mean you're going to start calling me Dad now?" He grins but my stomach churns.

Excuse me? What?

Not a chance in hell.

Christian stands next to me, I think he must sense my unease when he offers me his hand, "I would love to have a dance with your daughter if you'll excuse us"

"Of course…So charming Christian" My Mom smiles at him in nodding, I look at his hand before taking it willingly and he escorts me to the small dancefloor.

'You're beautiful' by James Blunt starts to play through the room.

His hands moving to my waist and mine to his shoulders gazing up into his eyes.

"Thank you…"

"No need to thank me" He smiles softly gently running his hand through the side of my hair and I willingly lean into his touch enjoying the comfort.

We sway softly to the music and I move a little closer to him letting our bodies rest as one.

I feel my Mom's eyes on us.

Are those tears in her eyes? Watching us? Really?

I bite my lip before resting my head against Christian's shoulder, letting my lips curl into a bigger smile as I feel him nuzzle into my neck, placing a gentle kiss against my shoulder.

My body is on fire.

We continue to sway as his fingers do magical work when he strokes my back, kissing my head every now and then. It's haunting me.

He then uses his finger to gently lift my chin up and gazes intently into my eyes.

I'm lost. I'm sent spiraling into his eyes. I'm hypnotized.

I want him, I need him. All of him.

My heart quickens as we gaze at each other for what seems like a lifetime, he smiles softly before cupping my cheek and kisses me deeply.

The next thing I know, we're kissing passionately.

Lovingly.

Eagerly.

Our hands frantically moving against each other as we stumble into my room and I close the door locking it behind me.

What am I doing?

Don't think it Ana, don't over think it.

I quickly rush back to him and his hand's snake down my body and he pulls me even closer as his kisses become hot. Our kisses become moist and breathy. Not trying to win a battle but seeking union with each other. Seeking closeness. The heat rises in my cheeks and throughout my whole body as our tongues play against each other firmly.

"Ana…" He groans against my lips as I start to undo the buttons on his shirt.

"I'm ready now…" I whisper softly as I look up into his eyes.

Am I?

Just be confident Ana. You can do this.

He cups my cheek gazing down at me with caution and surprise.

"Are you sure?" I nod before leaning up kissing him again and I'm making quick work at pushing his shirt off his shoulders and throwing it onto the chair.

His hands move quickly to the zipper of my dress and he pulls it down allowing me to step quickly out of it.

"Fuck…" He groans when the dress is gone and I'm only stood there in panties and no bra.

My cheeks flush embarrassingly but I push that feeling down and replace it with excitement and lust.

His hands move to the back of my thighs and he lifts me up against his body before moving to the bed, he lays me down gently against the pillows and I feel his muscles tensing against my skin as he does.

He starts to trail open-mouthed kisses down my chest, down my torso, and to my thighs.

I gasp hard and my eyes close, my hands moving to grip the sheets in anticipation.

"You're so fucking beautiful Ana…are you sure you want this…"

"Yes…" I whisper softly as I gaze down at him.

I am sure, I am 100 percent sure I want him. I want him forever.

We kiss and tease for a while before he moves off the bed and removes his pants. I gaze down at him and I can see his length clearly prominent through the fabric of his boxers.

It looks….big.

I start to worry a little and he sees my expression before he leans down and he kisses me softly again.

"It might hurt, but just tell me to stop at any time and I will…okay?"

I can already feel the pooling and the need between my legs and it's such a foreign sensation to me. I feel like I need to squeeze my knees together in an attempt to try and subdue the feeling but with Christian between my thighs, it's impossible.

His hand dips into my panties and his fingers start to make easy work at my most sensitive area. I writhe beneath him, panting, whimpering, wriggling at his touch.

In that split second before his touch, every nerve in my body and brain is electrified. It's the anticipation of being together in a way that's more than words, in a way that's so completely tangible.

His touch feels so amazing and It feels strange but wonderful, I find myself moaning against his lips until his lips make their move along my jaw and down my neck.

I feel like I'm being electrocuted.

He moves to kneel between my legs as he gazes down at me.

"You okay?" He asks and I can tell he himself is a little breathless.

That's all I can manage is a simple nod in reply. It's a little nervous but it's also filled with desire.

He lifts my hips slightly and finally, my panties are off and being thrown to the floor, then he does the same with his boxers and my eyes widen as his length is released.

Wow.

How…is that…is that even going? Fit?

My heart starts to pound louder in my chest.

He tears the condom wrapper with his teeth before rolling it on and hovers back over me. My hands clutch his biceps hard. He can tell I'm starting to shake slightly but he gently strokes my cheek soothingly gazing into my eyes deeply before he leans down kissing me and starts to push his way inside of me.

Shit…the pressure. It's unnatural, it's weird. It hurts but not in the way I expected it to. It's a little unpleasant but he's moving slow enough to allow me to get used to the feeling.

I whimper against his lips and he stills.

"Do you want me to stop?" He whispers against my lips, His forehead moves to rest against mine and I shake my head.

"N-No…just…just go slow…" I pant softly.

He stills inside of me once he has completely filled me. He allows me to get used to the feeling and soothes me with a bunch of kisses.

It's not long until we're moving together. My lips making an 'O' as we move in unison. I gaze up at him and him down at me. We're lost in the moment. Completely and utterly devoted to each other.

He's so soft and gentle and the feeling starts to feel better, it feels good.

Our breathing becomes more rapid, he's panting more and more and soon he nuzzles into my neck. I run my hand through his hair, it just feels natural. The sound of his moan is the undoing of me. It's a sound I never want to stop listening to. It's a turn on and I find myself letting my hands trail along his body feeling a little more confident.

Tonight, we made love for the first time and I'm positive it won't be the last.

Once our bodies have recovered and we're both feeling a little calmer he pulls the blankets around us and holds me close to him.

He's gently stroking my arm as I yawn softly almost drifting into sleep.

"That was a first for me…I've never…made love before" He whispers but he's gazing up towards the ceiling as he talks.

I smile sleepily and looks up at him, "A first for the both of us…" I gently cup his cheek making him look down at me and I watch as his lips curl into a loving smile.

"How are you feeling?…" He whispers and gently presses his lips against mine.

"A little sore, but Good" I smile more and nuzzles into his neck starting to yawn.

"Get some sleep baby" He whispers kissing the top of my head and holds me close.

I close my eyes and I enjoy listening to his heartbeat for what seems like forever.

A while has passed and with my eyes closed, he must think I've finally drifted off because what he does next surprises me. Really surprises me.

He starts to make little patterns on my arm and I swear I feel the words 'I LOVE YOU' outline my skin.

Could I have? Maybe I'm just imagining it. I lay there for a little while longer enjoying his touch when he confirms it. He says it out as a whisper.

"One day I'll have the courage to tell you, One day I'll say this when you're awake, I love you"

I think if my eyes were open they'd be filled with tears. I daren't move or answer him in fear I scare him and worry him by his confession. But he loves me.

He said it. That's all the reassurance I need. I love him and one day I'll tell him that too.

I feel him kiss the top of my head and that's the last thing I remember until I wake the next morning.

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Nice long chapter for you all! I hope you enjoy! Once again thank you to all of my readers and reviewers, I absolutely adore your feedback and hope it will continue to feed through!

I hope you all enjoy this chapter and stay tuned for a twist in the next. Update to come soon!


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23…

I hated saying goodbye to her that morning. The night before was perfect. I still can't believe we gave ourselves to each other completely. My mind is constantly replaying the moments we shared together. I've wanted her since the moment I saw her but I wanted to her to be ready, I wanted to make sure she wanted it. I wanted her to be sure that she wanted it with me. I would have waited forever for her if I had to. But that night, was perfect.

I know it was her first time, but making love that slowly, that gently, that love with someone who means so much…that was a first for me too.

It was hypnotising, the way our bodies moved together, the way our lips kissed in sweet caresses. The way she moaned my name.

Fuck, I can still hear it now.

I didn't want to leave her, but I had no choice. I wish she had come with me but I understand her decision to stay with her Mom. Plus it was just one more night, what could go wrong?

From what I witnessed, her Mom loves her very much but is blinded by the need for love. The love off a man and not Ana. I don't think Ana's love is enough for her, which honestly? Is pretty sad.

Bob…well…Bob gives me a little bit of the shivers. The way he made the comment about her calling him Dad. I could see the unease in her eyes and I immediately wanted to pull her from the situation.

But now, I'm on my way back to Seattle. Being Monday and my official first-day starting work, I'm excited. I got roughly only 4 hours of sleep because of the anxiety and excitement reeling through my body. I was devastated when I woke up seeing 2 missed calls from Ana at midnight, but I assume it was to wish me luck. It's only 5 am now and I don't want to wake her so I choose to text her instead.

_'Sorry I missed your calls, I can't wait to see you! Have a safe flight and I'll come straight to your house when I'm finished with work. I'll see you soon xx'_

I continue my drive to Seattle and soon arrives at the building. I gaze up at the large skyscraper and my lips curl into a bigger smile.

Who knew? Who knew that a fuck up like me could change their life around? I still can't believe it's happening.

I feel different somewhat. My heart beats a little stronger, My lips curl a little wider and the anger I used to feel towards the world is slowly, but surely fading away.

I told her I loved her that night, granted she was sleeping but I still said it. I have never said it to anyone before. I've never wanted to say it to anyone before. But now, that's all changed.

One day I'll say it to her when she can hear me. When I can see her reaction. But for now…this is a step for me.

I want to relive that night over and over again for the rest of my life.

I want to wake up next to her, I want to make love to her, with her. I want it all.

One day, I want to marry that girl.

Mia would help me find a ring, I'm sure of it. Now I have her, Now I know what I want, I want to take the step to the rest of our lives.

I wonder if she would say Yes if I asked?

I make my way into the building and I start my day.

People coming and going. It's very busy but I stand tall and I attempt to seem confident.

"Christian Grey?"

"Yes, Ma'am…" I offer my hand out to the woman making her way towards me. She seems to be around 30-40 years old I'd say. I hope I'm not wrong, that would be awkward. She's roughly 5 foot 6 and is dressed in a grey blazer with black slimline pants. It's professional, I like it and I'm glad I'm not overdressed.

"It's a pleasure Christian, I'm Ros Bailey and I'll be your trainer for the next 4 weeks"

"Nice to meet you Ros and thank you"

"If you'd like to follow me, you'll be working with me in my office for the 4 weeks and then once I think you're ready we'll set you up with your own office and start to offload some real work onto you" She grins.

"Sounds perfect" I chuckle softly following her.

The elevator opens and I'm impressed. The long pristine corridor was like walking through a cloud. From the floor, all the way to the ceilings were a pure glossed white. Not a single stain or piece of dirt anywhere in sight.

"Here we go…this is us" She smiles opening the door.

The office is painted a light grey and it has only one floor to ceiling window plastering one side of the room to the other. My eyes widen. This is amazing. You can see the whole city from up here. There's a pure white desk located near the window and I hear Ros laugh slightly at my reaction.

"Trust me, It's the best office and view in the building" She grins and moves to sit on the black swivel chair.

"It's amazing"

My eyes wander around and land on a bookshelf oozing with books. There's a small pure white sofa in the corner of the room and I think I'd be too afraid to ever sit on it in case I dirty it.

"Come and take a seat…Let me show you through some things and set you up with some login details" She gesture to the spare seat opposite her and she turns the computer screen between us so we can both see the screen.

My phone starts to ring in my pocket and I panic a little in an attempt to try and silent it to continue with my work.

"Everything okay?" Ros smiles at me and I nod.

"Yeah, I'm sorry, I forgot to put it on silent"

I see my Mom's name plaster the screen along with another 2 missed calls from her and another one unknown caller but no reply from Ana.

That's strange.

I never get missed calls.

I turn off my phone so as not to distract Ros again and I continue with my day. It's my first day and I don't want to make a bad impression.

I'm enjoying it so much so far and my day is honestly flying by. I've learnt about the exchange rates, I've learnt about their charities in China, India and so many more places. Ros describes some business meetings to me that she would like me to accompany her in over the next few weeks.

"So, I'm told you're still in College for now Christian?"

"Yes for now, but I was hoping to come here full time once I'm finished"

"I can already see you have potential here, I think you'd go really far with this company, you seem good with people and business is honestly all about people….so, for now, we have you scheduled to be here with us on Mondays, Wednesdays and Friday's, is that okay with you?"

"That's perfect…"

Time for work, Time for College, Time for Ana. Fits me perfectly.

"D you have plans to move more locally? Or will you be travelling?"

"I'll be travelling for now until I figure out an apartment and what to do about College"

"Perfect, well we can also help with accommodation, anything you need, you can ask me and anyone else working on this floor…you're part of our team now and this company has so many benefits"

I nod listening to everything she tells me but as the time goes on, I start to get a little excited about heading over to Ana and telling her all about my day.

Ros lets me go at 3, it's been an amazing day so far and I think I'll be really happy here.

Before she let me go she talked me through pay cheques and honestly? I'm only working part time for now but the money I'll already be earning is incredible. I can treat Ana to whatever she wants, whenever she wants. Imagine what I could be earning if I went full time? Or even developed my own business?

Fuck. The possibilities excite me.

I finally turn my phone back on searching through my messages.

None from Ana.

I check to see if the text I sent her this morning did actually send and to my confusion, it has.

Why hasn't she replied?

I attempt to call her phone but it rings and rings and rings and rings.

I see my Mom's missed calls once again and I decide to call her back but again it rings and rings and rings and rings.

This is weird.

What the fuck is going on?

I start to drive back putting my phone on the dashboard as I make my way back home to Ana's house. I stop by at a grocery store to grab some water when I see a row of flowers placed in the doorway, and I decide to buy the biggest bunch I could before taking the rest of the journey home. With the money I'll be making now, I can afford to do this for her. I can't wait to see her again. 2 days has been too long.

When I pull up outside of her house, I ring the doorbell but there's no answer.

Not even her father.

What the fuck?

I move to the window looking through but that's all I see is a half-empty coffee mug placed on the coffee table.

I move around the side of the house and into the gardens to see if Ray is doing his usual gardening but again, I call out for him and there's no answer.

There's no car in the garage either.

Fuck.

Maybe he's gone to pick her up from the airport. What time was her flight again?

Fuck.

I call her cell again but no answer.

I sigh before climbing back into my car and makes my way back to my house.

I carry the flowers inside wanting to put them into a vase so they don't die off before I have the chance to give them to her.

When I walk through the door, I look curious as I hear sniffles and voices.

"Christian!" Mia sobs slightly, along with Kate sat at the table with her. Elliot rubbing her back soothingly.

Mia stands quickly and moves to hug me.

What?

"What's going on?" I look cautiously between them all, but neither of the girls can speak. Mia moves back to the seat after hugging me and she wipes her eyes.

"Bro…there's been an accident… Mom's been trying to call you for hours"

"Yeah I was at work, It was my first day I didn't want to make a bad impression…what the fuck is going on?"

"I-It's Ana…" Mia sobs.

My heart drops in my chest. My stomach churns in pain.

Ana…what the fuck has happened.

I stare at them frozen on the spot. I feel like my whole world has just stopped dead in its tracks.

"She's been in an accident Christian…Mom is with her. Her Dad got hurt too…but he's conscious"

"Sh-She's…okay though right? She's conscious too?"

Kate lets out a whimper covering her face with her hands.

"She hasn't woken up yet Bro…"

Fuck!

FUCK!

FUUUUUUCK!

I drop the flowers onto the table before I rush back out to my car.

I hear Elliot's voice as it booms after me but I ignore it and I speed off in the car.

FUCK

FUCK

FUCK!

She's okay.

She's going to be okay.

She HAS to be okay!

The panic starts to rise in my body as I speed towards the hospital and I rush inside as fast as my feet would take me.

I move to reception frantically, running my hand through my hair.

"Anastasia Steele…please…or my Mom, she's a doctor, Grace… Please!" I almost stumble over my words as I talk. This can't be happening. It has to be a dream. It's all a dream.

Wake Up, Christian! Wake the Fuck up!

The receptionist picks up the phone making a call but I find my fist slamming into the wall at the side of me making the poor receptionist jump.

Fuck that hurt, this isn't a dream.

"Christian…darling…" My Mom rushes to me and I look at her.

My nostrils are flaring as they used to when I was angry, but this time it's not anger that fuels my body, it's panic and worry.

"Mom! Where is she? What happened?! Is she okay?!"

She cups my cheek making me look and focus on her as my eyes frantically search the hospital halls in any sign of her.

"Christian….I need you to stay calm… come with me…" She looks up at me sadly.

FUCK! I can't deal with these emotions. I feel like I'm about to explode.

Mom escorts me into her little office and closes the curtain behind us for a little privacy.

"She's in surgery… she and her Dad were in a bad car accident early hours this morning"

"Early hours this morning?! She wasn't even here! She was in Georgia! You're all lying!"

"Christian..please…" She cups both my cheeks and looks at me seriously, "She needs you to be strong right now okay? I don't know what happened or why, but she came home on the 11 pm flight last night… she called her Dad to pick her up from the airport and it happened on the way home that's all I know for now… The police are currently with Mr Steele right now to ask questions".

My fists ball into the arm of the chair I'm sitting in. I grip it so hard my knuckles turn white.

Wait why did she fly home early?

If she wanted to come home why didn't she come with me?

Why didn't she tell me?

Did something happen?

Did something happen in Georgia?

Fuck, wait. She called me around midnight. She needed me, she wasn't calling me to wish me luck. She fucking needed me and I missed the calls!

Fuck!

My leg starts to shake.

"I need to see her Mom…where is she"

"She's in surgery darling…I'm not sure how long it's going to take, She's a little cut up and bruised needing stitches in various areas of her body, two broken ribs and she's unconscious. We fear she may have some internal damage"

Fuck, I can feel the pain coursing through my own body.

"sh-she's going to be okay? Right? I mean… she'll wake up?"

"We hope so…I hope so" She says sadly and she cups my cheek.

This can't be happening.

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	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24...

_Knock Knock _

"Christian…you're here, I'm glad you came"

"Yeah, I got here as quick as I could…How is she doing?"

"She's still unconscious, she hasn't woken up but they said the surgery went as well as it could have"

"she looks so…so fragile…what happened?"

"It just all happened so fast, she called me telling me she was coming home and would I be able to pick her up, so of course I drove straight to the airport"

"She called me too but I missed it"

"Hey, don't beat yourself up about it…"

"What happened with the crash?"

"She was waiting at the airport for me. She was upset and so I quickly got her into the car and started to head home. She was crying and I could barely make out any of the words… I noticed her lip was bleeding and something about Bob arguing and Carla and then all of a sudden I see this car come out of nowhere towards Ana's side of the car as I'm turning onto the road and then I'm waking up in an ambulance being brought here"

"Her lip was bleeding?"

"I'm not sure what happened, I've tried calling Carla but nothing…"

"If he fucking hurt her…"

"Oh trust me, If he has… but It's going to be okay, she's a strong girl, she'll get through this…she has to"

"I hope so…"

"did anything happen at the wedding?"

"Nothing I can think of…I thought it went well, but Carla was drinking a lot and so was Bob as far I was aware…I left early the next morning and didn't see them before I left"

"She's drinking again then…"

"Yes…Ana was disappointed when she saw"

"I knew I should have encouraged her not to go…but I had hoped it would be okay, that maybe things would change and I can't keep her away from her mother"

"What do you mean?"

"The last time Ana went to Georgia, Carla had promised to stop her drinking again or so we all thought, but Ana saw Bob encouraging her and she gave in. Ana came home covered in bruises but no matter how much I worried, or how many times I asked she never told me what happened. Carla slipped up one day when she called to check on Ana, she told me Bob apologized, Carla freaked and she panicked when she realized I didn't know what had happened so I forced her to tell me… She and Bob had got into an argument and in anger, Bob somehow managed to knock Ana down the stairs…"

"I'll fucking kill him.."

I can hear their faint voices chime through my ears over the faint beep of the machine next to my head.

Christian's here, He came.

I try to open my eyes but they fail. I try to move my hands, but they fail. I try to move anything, but every part of my body fights against me.

I hurt everywhere, I can feel it. My head especially is the worst.

What happened?

Hearing their voices makes me want to fight. I continue trying to open my eyes or even make a noise but I fail miserably.

I just want them to know I'm here, I want them to know I'll be okay. I want them to know I'll fight for them. I want them to know I love them.

Christian's voice was like a light in the darkness. I recognized his voice straight away and gosh I'm so glad I can hear it.

Every so often I can feel the pain and energy loss pulling me back into the darkness but I try to stay with it, I try to stay alert just to hear their voices.

Don't go back, Ana.

Don't fall back to sleep.

He's here.

They are here.

My Mom chose Bob. Same as she always did. Choosing every man over me.

They were both drunk.

Christian left me at 8 am and they were still in bed. They didn't even bother to wake to say goodbye to him. I was sat downstairs eating my breakfast when Bob decided to emerge from his room in search of a Beer.

A beer at 9 am. Great support for my Mom who was once attempting to recover from being an alcoholic but now, that's out of the window.

He stumbles past me and I can smell the alcohol.

I feel sick to the bottom of my stomach.

"Isn't it a little early?" I whisper sadly as I take another spoonful of my cereal.

"Excuse me?"

"I don't like my Mom drinking" I look up at him.

"And your mother is an adult and my wife who can make her own choices without a spoilt little brat like you telling her what to do"

He uses a bottle opener to pop open his bottle before he moves to get a glass of wine and makes his way back upstairs.

I've learned it's better not to argue with him. Not to get involved but I also don't want to see my Mom dead, so I'm torn between what I'm supposed to do and what I shouldn't do.

I look to the stairs watching him walk back up them.

Out of all the relationships she's had, Bob is the worst. But she claims to love him.

I fear she doesn't know what love is anymore. What I feel for Christian is love, but Bob and My Mom? Not a chance.

He's right when he says she's an adult that can make her own choices but his influence on her is revolting.

And now I know the arguments haven't stopped. The anger hasn't stopped. The drinking hasn't stopped.

I move back up to my room starting to pack my things ready to leave tomorrow morning. I can't wait to get out of here and be back with My Dad and Christian.

Girls day with my Mom was meant to start half an hour ago and I feel she won't be emerging for a while yet.

I head back downstairs and turns on the TV. I know Christian is in the air right now but I wish I could just call him and hear his voice. I miss him here already and honestly? I feel a little uneasy without him.

Another hour passes and Bob makes his way back downstairs with the biggest smirk.

I don't look over at him and I just let him carry, trying to ignore him, until he is soon making his way back towards the stairs 5 minutes later with a full bottle of wine.

No way.

I stand.

Be brave Ana. She needs you.

"Don't you think she's had enough? It's midday! We are meant to be going out just the two of us and that's never going to happen if you keep feeding her that poison!"

"Who the hell do you think you are talking to me like that? I'm your Dad now and you need to treat me with respect"

"You're not my Dad and you never will be!"

His face turns a fit of anger I've never seen in anyone before. I watch as his knuckles turn white around the bottle of wine as he clutches it in his grip angrily.

"What's going on?" My Mom makes her way down the stairs and almost trips halfway down.

She's already drunk.

"Your daughter is complaining again because you aren't giving her attention, Love"

"Oh Ana baby, come on, we just got married…give us a little time"

"A little time? Mom, it's midday and you're drunk…you convinced me to stay because you wanted to spend time with me, you haven't seen me in months!"

"Such an attention seeker" Bob rolls his eyes at me in mock before laughing as he smacks my Mom's ass, "Come on let's go finish what we started" He wiggles the bottle of wine in front of her.

I feel sick and I feel the tears start to fill my eyes in annoyance.

I rush over to him and I push him in an attempt to rid the bottle from his hand.

He's broad and tall and I realized I've started a battle I was always going to lose, but before I realize, It's too late. I end up flying down the last 4 steps backward as he elbows me against my jaw and he swings the bottle in an attempt to move it out of my reach but I only find it swinging towards my face. The bottle comes crashing on top of me and completely shattering all around me. The glass pieces surround my body making me unable to move without getting glass piercing my skin.

I look up at my Mom with horror.

"Mom…."

She looks worried and frozen at the same time.

Mom…Please….I internally plead. I stare at her with tear filled eyes.

"Spoilt little brat! That wine costs money!" He spits down glaring at me.

"You're going to let him treat me like that?"

She's quiet for a moment until he looks at her. I can see she's torn but once again. I'm the one that's left heartbroken.

"You pushed him Ana…you're both as bad as each other"

Both as bad as each other.

Really?

"I'm done here" The tears fill my eyes as I rush up the stairs passed them. When I get to my room I see the bruise forming on my jaw and the blood against my lip.

Great!

I grab all my stuff and pulls it over my shoulder.

"Annie baby…"

I open the door glaring him.

"I'm not staying here to watch you drink yourself to death Mom"

"we're just having fun baby.."

"Fun?! You're drunk at midday and the person you claim to love has pushed your daughter down the stairs…again! Remember my broken arm last time Mom?! Do you! I'm not staying here for anything worse to happen, I'm trying to help you! Trying to save you! But you won't even give me the time of day, and you might be blind enough to stay here, but I'm not, I'm leaving"

She grips my arm to stop me but Bob stands in the doorway and she soon drops my arms at the sight of him

Unbelievable.

"I'm sorry Annie"

"Yeah, thanks for the fight Mom…I can see now, I will never be enough for you…I hope you're happy"

I rush out of the house with my bag and makes my way down the street just needing to be out of the house.

I pull my phone out and that's when I realize I forgot to charge it.

Great! 2 percent battery.

I find myself a taxi and luckily I have my savings from working at the coffee shop to buy myself an earlier flight home. It's not until tonight but that gives me time to charge my phone and eat.

After an hour Taxi ride, I arrive at the airport, I check in and head through security. It's 4 by the time I arrive and so I move to grab some food before I head to a charging station and searches through my bag.

Shit.

Shit.

Shit.

Where the hell is my cable…

Shit.

This is going to be a long day.

I turn my phone off to save the small 2 percent I have ready to call Christian or my Dad when I land. I hope one them answers even though it'll be late.

Then I'm being brought back to the present. The constant bleep at the side of my head from the machine monitoring my heart rate, but the rest of the room silent.

Did they leave?

I want to cry. I want to scream but it's useless.

"I like to think that even though they're unconscious, they can still hear us" I hear a woman's voice.

A nurse maybe?

"Do you really think so?" It's Christian. He's still here.

Thank goodness.

"I like to have hope," The female says before it's quiet again and I feel the pull of darkness pulling me back in.

"So…your Dad has gone to get coffee and food, he's making me eat… but I feel sick…I can't eat when you're here like this Ana… please… please come back to us… I hope you can hear me, fuck I hope you can"

It's silent and I start to feel numb again, the darkness trying to consume me.

Stay awake Ana. A little while longer, I repeatedly tell myself.

"I don't know what happened but I swear, whoever hurt you I will fucking kill them… You deserve so much more" I hear a small sniffle.

Is he crying?

"I'm sorry…I'm just so angry…I don't know what to say to you…I don't even know if you can hear me, I feel like an idiot"

Oh, Christian. Just talk. Keep me with you. He's silent again and the longer the silence goes on the deeper I start to go.

Then my light starts again. Keep going Christian, keep going.

"My first day at work went well… I'll be working Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays…They've offered to help me with accommodation and help in moving up to Seattle. It's an amazing opportunity, Ana…"

I feel him take my weak hand in his. I feel his fingers stroking against mine.

I wish I had the energy to squeeze enough to let him know I'm here. To let him know I'm listening.

"It got me thinking… I want us to move there together… I know it's your dream to move there too and I think together, we can make it happen. I've been thinking so much since that night in Georgia… I never want to be parted from you, I was… I shouldn't be telling you this in case you can hear me because now it won't be a surprise anymore" He laughs sadly.

My heart is pained for him.

"But I was going to buy a ring…I know we're young but I don't think I could ever let you go and I don't think I'll find what we have with anybody else. I was going to buy you a promise ring in the promise that one day…I want us to one day maybe get married, if that's what you want too…I want us. I want you…Please Ana…wake up…I need you" He leans down and kisses my forehead and it goes black.

I'm pulled back into the darkness. My body failing me and I can't hear his voice anymore.

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Writing these last 2 chapters have been real tear jerkers! I hope it's kept you all interested and will continue to enjoy the rest of the story. Stay tuned for more and keep reviewing with your opinions! Thanks to all my readers and followers, seeing them increase every single day is amazing.

Update to come soon!


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25…

It's been 3 days. 3 long fucking days. I am absolutely drained and exhausted. I haven't slept. I've barely eaten. I've been sick with worry that maybe she won't wake.

What the fuck would I do if she doesn't?

Ray and I have been at her side the entire time. The seconds turned to minutes, minutes turned to hours and the hours turned to days. The doctors and nurses have all expressed they are happy with her recovery and they expect her to wake up in her own time any day now, but we're still here waiting patiently. Ray scolded me when I suggested missing out on work this Wednesday. He told me Ana would want me to be there making a future for myself.

I agree, it is what Ana would have wanted and I know for a fact she would have made me go too, but I was worried she would wake up and I wouldn't be there.

But to my dismay, with much encouragement from Ray and a scolding from my Mom, I did in fact drive to Seattle and headed to work.

Before heading off on my Seattle drive, I visited back at the hospital after showering and making myself more presentable for my day of work, I gave her a kiss on the forehead and then her knuckles and I swear I felt her small fragile fingers move under mine, but I must have imagined it through hoping too much I guess, because after that there was nothing.

It was a wonderful day at work, I loved learning about the company and how the business works and learning exactly what I'll be doing, but my mind was constantly worrying about Ana.

I kept texting my Mom at any chance I could get, during my breaks and when I had finished my tasks, asking for any updates but there was nothing to report every single time.

She will wake up, won't she?

My day at work goes by quickly and I enjoyed it the same as Monday. Ros was amazing and helpful same as always too. Today was Showing me various spreadsheets I'll have to work with and how to apply them to our company. I also told her about the situation with Ana and she fully understood and offered any help if I needed it.

Once my day was over, I made my way back to my car before spotting the jewellers opposite. I remember walking past it while Ana and I were shopping for her dress. I remember the light in her eyes as they gazed over the delicate diamonds that shone through the window in the sunlight. Her eyes where on the rings and bracelets but mine were on her. The way the sun shone through her brown curls. The way her piercing blue eyes lit up at the beautiful jewellery. I promised myself from that day on I would spoil this girl forever and it's what I intend to do.

I debate my choices, do I rush home to hospital or do I risk another hour and surprise her for when I arrive and for when she wakes.

Fuck.

Fuck it, before I know it but fingertips are calling Mia.

"Hey Christian!" She smiles brightly through my phone as she clicks against the call and presses the face time.

Great.

Now I look like an asshole walking through the streets holding my phone up against my face.

"Hey…so I kinda need your help…"

"Oh no, has something happened? Is it Ana? Is she okay?"

"She still hasn't woken up yet, but I want to get her something for when she wakes… I want to buy her a ring and I have no idea where to start"

"AN ENGAGEMENT RING?! YOU'RE ASKING HER?!" She practically screams excitedly.

Oh my gosh, Mia. Chill.

"No…just a promise ring" I laugh at her rolling my eyes, "I think we're too young for all that yet, but I want to give her a promise that one day I will…"

"Awwwww Christian, that's adorable and she'll love it"

"Thanks, I guess…you don't think it's too…much?"

"No of course not! She'll love it I promise!"

"I just need your help picking one, I have no idea….Is it okay if I send you some pictures?"

"Pictures?! Just keep me on face time and show me the rings"

"I am not walking into the Jewellers on face time Mia, I already feel like a dick"

"Christian everyone does it I promise, now just go in and show me the rings" She grins excitedly.

I groan rolling my eyes but does as she says heading inside. It's very quiet as I gaze over the cabinets.

"Turn the camera Christian" She laughs and I groan.

"I feel like a dick"

"Oh shush!"

I scan the phone across the glass cabinets letting her see them all.

My eyes land on the perfect ring and now I know I don't Mia's help. I know Ana would love it.

It's delicate, It's pretty, It's special, just like her.

"This one….This is the one" I say down the phone zooming into it.

"Ohhhh that's perfect! So Ana! You didn't even need me, I'm proud" She grins smugly.

"Thanks, Mia" I laugh, "Thanks for your help! I'll see you later!"

"No problemo! Anytime, give Ana a hug from me….I hope she wakes soon, I miss her"

"Yeah me too little Sis, me too"

She smiles sadly at me and I nod before hanging up.

The ring is a simple silver. Two roses entwined together around the band and two delicate diamonds at the centre representing the rose flower heads. It's absolutely beautiful, just like her.

Roses represent our relationship and I hope she likes it.

I'm the thorn and she's the beautiful flower, the one can't live without the other.

I smile gazing at it a little longer making sure it's the right choice. I imagine it on her finger and my smile grows. Imagining the perfect silver against her delicate milky skin.

I hope she likes it.

Fuck what if she doesn't like it?

What if she hates it.

Fuck.

She wouldn't hate it right?

I mean, It's beautiful and it's delicate, nothing over the top.

But Fuck, what if she thinks its too much?

Too soon?

Fuck.

Chill the fuck out Christian, I scold myself internally.

She's done so much for me, she's been my rock through everything. This is to say thank you, to say I appreciate everything she's done for me, for accepting me and all my flaws. To say that one day I'll make her my wife if she'll have me.

Oh Ana, Please fucking wake up soon.

I make the payment for the ring before climbing in my car and I rush back home.

I decide to head to my house taking a quick shower and changing my clothes before I make my way back to the hospital.

I gently knock at the door before entering and Ray smiles up at me.

"Hey…"

"Hey, how was work?"

"It was fine, I worried the whole day though in case she woke up" I smile sadly and He nods understanding as I move to the seat at the other side of the bed.

"Her heart rate increased a little around midday, they said that was a good sign but still no movement yet"

"She will wake up, won't she?"

"I have no doubt about it son, she's a fighter" He nods encouragingly and I follow suit, replying with a nod too.

"Did you want me to go and grab you something to eat?" I look to him but he shakes his head.

"I'll let you two have some time together, I'll grab something from the cafeteria, do you want anything?"

"No thank you, Ray" I smile slightly in appreciation as he makes his leave, leaving Ana and I alone.

I gaze around the room.

Flowers, Balloons, Cards, surrounding the whole room. She is so so loved.

The machine beeping softly next to her bed and I watch it for a little while, watching her heart rate line continually function.

Again.

And again.

And again.

At least she's alive, at least her heart is beating. Think of the positives.

Then I look back to her, her eyes closed, her body in the same position I left her in. I gently brush her curl behind her ear and I smile sadly as I gently stroke her small delicate cheek. Careful of her small stitches at the side of her forehead.

"Oh, Ana…"

I take the ring out of my pocket and I open it gazing down at it.

"So, you might think this is silly…but… I bought you a ring…now don't panic or freak out okay? It's not an engagement ring, It's a promise ring and a thank you… thankyou for everything you've done for me… a thank you for being right by my side through everything. You've done more for me than you can ever imagine"

I sigh sadly as I close my eyes, "It's also a promise that when you wake, I'll be here and one day I'll give you everything you've ever dreamed of…a home…a family…a life…Work is going amazing and the pay I'm getting from there, Ana, I will spoil you for the rest of our lives. This ring, I hope will be the start of our future, I can promise that if you'll have me, I'll be yours forever. I love you"

Suddenly, her monitor moves a little faster.

Her heart rate lifeline spiralling a little quicker, a little higher. I look up at the monitor, then back to her.

"Ana? Ana? Can you hear me?! Ana!"

I put the ring back into my pocket and I take her hand, gently stroking her forehead.

"Ana?!"

Then I feel it.

Fuck.

I have never felt such a relief in all of my life.

Her small, tiny fingers move against mine. I can barely feel it but I know it's her. She's waking up.

Maybe she heard me?

Fuck, did she hear me?

I press the emergency button.

Fuck, Ray!

Where's Ray!

Fuck. Fuck!

I gently continued to stroke her hair and I keep talking to her, hoping she'll come back to us.

Hoping she'll come back to me.

"Come on Ana….Come on baby, You can do this…Come back to me"

I can feel the tears welling in my eyes.

What the fuck is this? I don't cry. I rarely cry. Especially over feelings and emotions. This is weird.

The panic continues to speed through my blood in my veins. Hope and worry mixing together.

I lace our fingers together in one hand and I continue to smooth her hair with the other.

I look at her monitor as I see the rate increase a little more and I feel the movement against my fingers once again.

"That's it Ana…come on…"

Her lips move in the smallest of grumbles.

Fuck, she's awake.

She's fucking awake.

Relief washes over me as my tears now fall down my cheeks, I squeeze her hand a little tighter and then brings it to my lips kissing each and every one of her knuckles.

She mumbles again keeping her eyes closed. Her face looks a little pained and I gently stroke her cheek trying to calm her.

"It's okay…I got you…I'm here…" I lean down kissing her forehead and as I do I hear the faint whispered words leave her lips, such a whisper I can barely hear them. But I do.

Fuck I hear them and I never want to not hear them.

I want to hear them over and over for the rest of my life.

The simple 4 words make my eyes go wide.

She did hear me. She fucking heard it all.

She fought for us, She fought for me, My brave strong Ana.

She's awake and she's slowly coming back to us. Back to me.

The 4 small words I needed and wanted to hear, whispered softly from her perfect fucking lips.

"I love you too"

The Doctors and nurses come rushing into the room answering the emergency button I pressed and Ray close behind them after making his way back from the cafeteria, dropping his sandwich in shock as he quickly moves to her side.

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	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26…

_"It's also a promise that when you wake, I'll be here and one day I'll give you everything you've ever dreamed of…a home…a family…a life…Work is going amazing and the pay I'm getting from there, Ana, I will spoil you for the rest of our lives. This ring, I hope will be the start of our future, I can promise that if you'll have me, I'll be yours forever. I love you" _

Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

My machine still sounds steady next to my bed.

I'm unsure of how long it's been since the accident. I'm not sure how many times I've dozed in and out of consciousness without the ability to move or talk. I have hated every second of lying here, hearing people's voices. Hearing people talking to me, hearing people talk about me and not having an ounce of strength to be able to let them know I'm here, I'm here listening.

The last time I remember being conscious was my Dad making Christian go to work. I try to squeeze his hand before he left but still, not a single amount of energy would allow me to do it.

I felt his kiss on my forehead and I knew then, I had to fight with everything I have to be able to be with him again.

I fall back into sleep until I'm woken again by his voice. He wants a future. He wants a family. With me?

I'm in shock and I can already feel my own heart rate increasing.

The noise of the machine increases and I start to hear Christian's hopeful but panicked voice as he hears it too.

Yes, Christian, I'm trying…I'm trying to come back to you. I'm trying to fight with everything I have.

Wow, everything hurts. I can feel it now. I can feel the pain coursing through my ribs, my head, my legs, my arms, but I manage to squeeze his hand. It's the slightest of movement but he knows it's me. He knows I'm waking.

Keep talking to me Christian, stay with me.

Keep hold of me.

I feel his gentle fingers brush my cheek, my hair, my hand.

"I love you too"

Is all I can manage to whisper as the pain starts to take over again. The darkness, I can feel the darkness coming for me once again.

No! I can't go back to the darkness, I can't fall asleep again. I can't go back.

Stay awake Ana, Stay awake, I mindlessly repeat to myself as I continue to fight to stay awake.

This pain is excruciating.

I whimper softly as I attempt to open my eyes but fail due to the pain that's rushing through my body.

I need to go back to sleep, the pain is too much, but I need to be here. I need to be here for him.

He's kissing my knuckles and it allows my lips to curl into the smallest of smiles at his gesture.

"She's awake! Ray! She's waking up!"

"That's our girl! Come on Ana…"

I can feel the doctors and nurses poking and prodding against me, testing all my vitals. Even with my eyes closed, there's a blinding light being pointed against my eyelids.

Too Bright!

"We're going to inject her with some pain relief and hopefully that will ease whatever she is feeling now she's awake… Ana you're going to feel a little pinch now okay? But it will help you wake up a little easier…whenever you're ready, open your eyes, or talk to us…any signs of anything okay?"

Their voices are fuzzy as the pain continues to rush through my body, but I manage to squeeze Christian's hand when I feel the needle pierce through my skin.

"She squeezed my hand again…she must have felt it" I hear Christian say worriedly.

"Don't panic, that's a good sign…keep communicating with us Ana… keep squeezing hands okay?"

I squeeze a little harder as I feel the point go in deeper.

I whimper softly when It's quickly removed and Christian is once again kissing my hand soothingly.

"You're doing so well Ana…don't give up now" Christian whispers against my ear.

Oh, what I'd give to be curled into his arms right now. I need him and he needs me.

I need his arms wrapped around me comforting me, I want to cry into his shoulder.

I need my Dad's lasagne! Oh, his lasagne is the best! I've missed it all.

"Come on Annie…" I hear my Dad say beside me as I feel his hand move over mine on the other side of the bed.

I feel it.

Suddenly I feel an exhilarating rush of energy.

Determination.

Fighting.

Needing.

Love.

All combined together and my eyes start to flutter open. It takes a while for them to adjust to the light and open fully.

The bright lights of the hospital ceiling causing me to squint and turn away.

I hear a sob coming from my Dad's side and when I turn my head to the side and away from the light, I finally manage to open my eyes and look at him.

They're droopy and sleepy and pained, but they're open.

I watch as my Dad's eyes and cheeks are soaked with tears. He leans over cupping my cheeks and presses a gentle and caring kiss to my forehead.

"You're awake, Annie…oh my gosh"

"D-Dad…" I whisper out smiling softly as he takes my hand in both of his own.

"We've been so worried! My gosh I can't believe you're finally awake"

When I look up at him with my droopy pained eyes I see his stubble forming along his chin and jaw showing he hasn't shaved. He must not have gone home at all.

Tears fill my own eyes as I watch him cry beside me in relief.

I gently squeeze his hand smiling softly.

The light not seeming so bright anymore, I turn my head to the left and there he is.

His eyes are also stained red with forming tears in his eyes.

"A-Are you…crying…" I whisper gazing up at him sadly.

He shakes his head closing his eyes as he moves the back of my knuckles to his lips.

Oh, my poor Christian.

I take my hand out of his and I gently cup his cheek, using the small energy I have to gently stroke his cheekbone.

"Come here" I whisper gently pulling him a little closer and he moves to sit on the side of the bed.

"He's never left your side either, I had to make him go to work and eat! He's worse than me I swear it" My father smirks laughing as he cries. I giggle softly but I wince with the pain resting back further into the pillow as the giggle sends a shock wave of pain down into my ribs.

Owww. It hurts, a lot.

Christian joins in with the crying laugh too as he gently moves his arm around me and I willingly take pleasure in cuddling into his embrace. I keep my spare hand in my Dad's too. The three of us sat here in relief and success of being together.

It's a funny sight.

This is Something that 6 months ago I never would have Imagined to be happening in my future.

Both of them here, both of them at my side. Now, the two most important people in my life.

After an hour of the doctors and nurses continually poking and prodding my wounds, asking me does this hurt, does that hurt, reminding me to take the pain killers and taking care and resting to get full recuperation.

I'm starving but I've been limited to small mushy meals.

I just want a burger.

A big fat burger or my Dad's lasagne.

But I'm sat here sipping the soup Christian went and got for me from the Cafeteria. When he returned he had a bouquet of flowers, the soup, a bread roll and some small pieces of fruit too.

How did I get this lucky?

My smile grows watching him as his eyes are intently watching me. He's watching me like as if I could fade away at any moment and my Dad laughs softly to himself smiling as he bites into a chocolate bar as he catches Christian's worrying gaze.

I am absolutely exhausted but I don't want to go back to sleep, I want to stay awake for as long as possible.

"Annie sweetheart, would you might if I head home to grab a shower? I haven't been home or showered but now I know you're awake and fine…"

My smile grows and I reach over gently taking his hand and I nod cutting him off his sentence, "Dad I'm fine I promise, go home and get some rest"

"I'll stay here with her" Christian smiles reassuringly at him.

Oh, my heart.

"I'll bring you some pajamas and some of your things to make you comfortable okay? And if you need anything call me straight away" He stands kissing the top of my head making me smile more, "I love you, Annie"

"I love you too Dad" I whisper back softly and he nods gently stroking my cheek before he hands Christian his phone number on a small piece of paper and makes his leave.

I watch him go before starting back on my soup still feeling Christian's eyes on me, I gently push the table away but Christian is quick on his feet and starts to move it for me. Moving it further away from the bed letting me have more space.

He's still worried, I can tell. He's doing every little thing for me.

"Hey… come here…" I smile gently reaching my hand out to him.

He looks a little curious but takes my hand.

I gently pull him to my bed and he takes the hint, sliding on beside me and wrapping both of his arms around me carefully.

He nuzzles into my hair and my smile grows as I cuddle against him.

"I thought I'd lost you" He whispers softly against my head.

"You'll never lose me" I whisper back and I move to look up at him, gently stroking his cheek.

"I was so scared…I had no idea what was going on…I came here as quick as I could and I hated leaving your side" He sighs sadly.

But I giggle softly, not at his statement but because I've heard it all. He already said it all to me when he thought I couldn't hear him.

"I heard you, every time you spoke to me…I tried to give you a sign but my body never allowed it until now" I smile sadly.

"Everything?"

"Everything" I nod and he smiles leaning down gently capturing my lips.

He kisses me softly, his lips barely touching mine, I think he's too afraid to hurt me, but after everything I need him. I need to feel him, I need to feel alive. I smile against his lips before letting my own be a little more forceful. I allow my lips to part and he takes the hint, allowing our tongues to dance against each other in a sweet caress. His hand gently stroking against the side of my cheek, into my hair.

He pulls back and he smiles down at me before he reaches into his jacket pocket pulling out a small box.

Is that?

Is that the ring he spoke about while I was under?

Oh gosh, I'm not sure I'm prepared to see it.

"Did you hear me talk about a ring?"

I nod softly smiling, " A promise and a thank you ring"

"An I love you ring with the promise of a future together? If you'll have me…" He says nervously gently stroking the back of his neck. His usual nervous trait.

It's adorable.

My smile grows and I nod, "I love you…" I say sweetly as I gaze up at him and I can visibly see the nervousness disappear from his face.

His smile is wide, I can see the childlike boy inside him like as if someone has just given a 5-year-old the biggest bag of candy you could imagine.

He laughs slightly but he nods opening the box.

Oh.

My.

Goodness.

It's beautiful.

The roses, the petals, the diamonds. The stems entwining the whole way around the band.

It's perfect.

It's so delicate.

It's so…so me.

"So the lady at the store told me that A promise ring belongs on the right hand, I don't know why...but it's what she said" He shrugs laughing softly as he carefully pulls the ring out of the box.

I giggle softly giving him my right hand and he slowly and gently pushes the jewel on.

"Wow…it's beautiful..thank you, thank you so much" I smile more and I cup his cheek once again with the same hand he pushed the ring on to and I kiss him in a loving, passionate caress.

"It looks perfect on you" He whispers against my lips and I smile against his before kissing him again.

"It is perfect"

"I still can't believe it"

"Believe what?" I look at him curiously.

"That you're mine"

My smile grows.

My poor, handsome, paranoid, worrying, caring and loving Christian.

Gosh, I never imagined feeling this way about anyone.

"I love you" I whisper to him reassuringly.

"And I love you" He whispers back.

I stay in his embrace for a long time. Both of us enjoy being in each other's arms again.

He gently strokes my arm as I rest my head against his shoulder, playing my fingers against his on his free hand. I smile watching him. He seems exhausted, tired and deep in thought.

"How are you feeling?" He kisses my forehead and breaks the silence.

"Sore, very sore, but…I'll be okay"

"You should get some rest, I'll be right here"

"Mmm.." I nuzzle into his neck, "Maybe in a little while…"

He smiles and moves his gentle caress from my arm and to my side. My ribs hurt, but he's careful.

His fingers loving and gentle against the hospital nightgown.

It's an absolutely ugly attire but he doesn't seem to care.

"Can I get you anything?"

"No, I'm okay thank you"

He continues his gentle caress.

"Are you okay?" I look up at him smiling softly.

"Yeah, I'm just glad to have you back…I'm so sorry I didn't answer your call that night"

"Hey, it's okay…You had a big day and I'm fine, Dad's fine, you're fine, that's all that matters" I place a gentle kiss to the side of his jaw and I take his hand once again lacing our fingers.

"so…What did happen, Ana? Why did you leave early?" He looks down at me, his question is curious but cautious.

Shit.

There it is.

The question I've been waiting for, the question I've been dreading.

He'll flip and so will Dad.

I bite my lip when he shifts a little to get a better look at my expression.

"Just promise me, you won't get mad…"

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	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27…

"Just promise me, you won't get mad"

"Ana….what happened?"

"Promise me"

I grit my teeth hard.

How can I promise not to get mad when I have no idea what's going to come out of her mouth next?

I gaze down at her and her eyes are pleading.

I bite my tongue hard, "I promise".

Fuck knows if I'll end up keeping this promise, but I will try.

"It was getting late and the promise of a girls day before I came home was getting thinner by the minute, I was getting sick of waiting….after waiting and waiting, He came down again and started grabbing more alcohol from the cupboard, I tried to stop him because I didn't want her drinking anymore and especially at that time of morning but as I tried to grab the bottle he swung and I the next thing I know I'm at the bottom of the stairs covered in glass"

"Oh, Ana…" My heart clenches angrily. I try to keep my calm but I can feel the need of my knuckles clenching together.

Calm Christian, stay calm.

"And once she said we were just as bad as each other that was it, I stormed up the stairs and packed my things….she came up after me, but he has so much control over her that she didn't fight, she didn't do anything…she just watched me leave".

"I'm so sorry I didn't stay with you"

"Hey…It's not your fault"

"I know but if I had just stayed…"

"And if I had just left with you… but we can't change anything now" She smiles sadly.

She starts to cough a little and winces with each one.

I feel fucking terrible. If I had just stayed. If I had just been there I could have fucking killed him there and then.

I hate seeing her in this pain. I hate seeing her with such trauma.

Stay Calm, Christian. Stay calm.

"Are you okay?" I panic a little as she starts to cough a little harder but she nods.

"Can you get me some water please so I can take some pain relief, I think it's just wearing off" She wheezes as she talks like she's breathless.

"Do you want me to call anyone?" I move quickly to get a glass of water and carefully holds it to her lips letting her sip it.

"I'll be okay, thank you…My chest hurts, I think I just need to rest" She gives me a small soft smile as I climb back in beside her and she curls into me, her eyes drooping closed.

"I feel so tired again all of a sudden" She whispers breathlessly.

"Are you sure you don't want me to call the doctor?"

"I just…need… to sleep.," she says slowly as she's already drifting off.

I kiss the top of her head holding her close.

She fell asleep in my arms right after that.

While she sleeps in my arms I gaze at the wall angrily. I can feel it building up and up and up the more, I think about it.

That fucking Bob, I swear. I will fucking kill the fucker if he comes anywhere near her again.

I wonder if Ray knows about this?

I highly doubt it.

And as for Carla, what a poor excuse for a mother! How could she allow that to happen?

Well…From now on, they can fuck right off and as far away from us as possible. Away from all of us.

Once she had told me, I felt my blood burning inside me as it rushed through my entire body. I feel it tingling through my veins in a bad way.

A familiar way, just like it used to before I met Ana.

Stay calm Christian, stay calm.

A million thoughts running through my mind as I hold her, trying to take it all in.

"She's finally sleeping?" Ray smiles whispering as he makes his way back into the room bringing me out of my thoughts.

He's shaved, he's showered and he's looking so much more fresh and alive.

"Yeah, she passed out about 20 minutes ago" I smile sadly at him.

I feel a little awkward being in bed with her, she's cuddled into me and with her Dad walking into the room but he doesn't seem to mind.

I think he likes me now.

"She looks comfy" He chuckles and moves back to the seat beside her bed.

He has a large bag with him which I'm assuming has her clothes and trinkets in.

"So I brought you some food too… I didn't know what you liked so I just grabbed you a pizza, I figured everyone likes pizza and I thought Ana could steal a slice if she's feeling up to it but I brought her soup too just in case"

"Thank you Ray…I appreciate it"

"So…has she mentioned what happened?" He asks curiously.

Fuck. Should I say? Would she be okay with me telling him? I can't lie to her father.

"Yeah…" I say nervously, "She wouldn't tell me unless I promised not to get mad"

"It was Bob…wasn't it?"

Fuck.

I nod slightly in reply, I promised not to get mad, but he didn't.

"I knew he would do something, I had such a bad feeling about this! I should have never let her go!" He's growing angry and quite rightly too. I'm fucking livid and raging myself.

"I wish I had just stayed, I'm so pissed at myself" My eyes widen when I realize I've just said that in front of her father, fuck shit, "Sorry…I didn't mean to cuss…I'm just…"

"It's alright son, I understand, I'm pissed too"

He puts her things around her and pajamas at the end of the bed before he looks down at her.

"She's looking a little pale," He says sadly as he strokes her cheek, "Has she been okay?"

"She took her pain killers and was coughing a little before she fell asleep, I offered to get someone but she said she just wanted to sleep".

"Stubborn girl always has been, I'll make sure someone checks her when she wakes" He smiles moving back to the chair. "I tried to call her Mom but still no answer," He says bluntly.

"Ana deserves better," I say sadly as I stroke her curl behind her ear. She's so beautiful when she sleeps.

We sit there for a little while longer.

She starts to wince.

She whimpers in her sleep before stirring. I look down at her and I gently stroke her hair.

"Oh, it hurts…" She pains as she clutches against my shirt.

"Ana? Ana, what's wrong?"

"My…ahhh….." She whimpers more and her hand moves to her rib cage and I carefully move away from her side and lets her lay down fully into the bed.

"She's gone paler….look at her lips" Her Dad starts to panic standing rushing to the door calling for help.

Her lips are turning a slight blue color.

"Ana, we're going to get help…Shhh, I got you" I lean down kissing her forehead.

She clutches my hand tighter as she cries out in pain before she starts to get a little weaker. Fainter. Her eyes dropping and spacing out.

"Ana…stay with me…Ana….look at me"

Fuck. Fuck.

I press the emergency button frantically above her head and it starts beeping.

Her hand lightly clutches mine before she's barely holding it anymore.

What the fuck is going on?

"Ana…keep talking to me, I'm here" I kiss her hand just before a Doctor makes his way into the room along with a frantic Ray behind him.

"Ana… Ana, can you hear me? Where does it hurt? Can you show me? Ana… communicate with us" The doctor starts checking her over, his main priority is the color of her lips.

"M-My….Ch….chest….ahhhhh…." She groans breathlessly before she starts coughing.

"I'm sorry could we give the patient some space for a moment please…" The doctor says and the nurses escort Ray and I to the corner of the room away from her bed.

"D-Dad…Ch-Christian…" She calls out but it's barely a whisper.

"What the fuck is going on?!" I don't even care about my swearing anymore, even with her Dad here. I can't deal with this. I can't be dealing with it.

"What's wrong with her?!" Her Dad pulls at his hair as he looks at the nurses as we watch them attach a mask to her mouth.

"We're going to rush her down to emergency, she has a loss in oxygen and I need to figure out exactly what's causing it and deal with it immediately".

Her bed is wheeled passed us, her chest and breathing wheezing against the mask. She reaches her hand out weakly and I try to take it but within seconds she's gone from the room.

We both move to the door watching her being quickly wheeled through the double doors.

Ray's hands frantically pulling at his hair in panic. My heart pounding and my fists clenching together.

Fuck.

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So sorry for the wait in the update! It's been a crazy weekend at a convention. I do apologize.

Another update will come very very soon, I promise!

Thank you to all my followers, readers and reviewers! I hope you're all enjoying the story so far and continue to do so. There is plenty more to come. More drama, more plot twists, and the question of, what will the future hold for Ana and Christian? Stay tuned for more!

Also If you fancy following me on Instagram, follow my account bethanrees123.


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter 28….

4 months later

It's been difficult.

It's been so hard and difficult not having Ana here.

My Mom told me it would get easier but it hasn't. I miss her being by my side more and more every day.

I made the big decision to quit College and take a full-time position at the business center.

My Dad was kind of pissed at me but my Mom just wants me to be happy.

They saw potential in me and offered me the position only after being with the company for 4 weeks. Ros gave me the promotion almost immediately and was excited to have me as part of her full-time team.

They lined me up with an amazing apartment right in Seattle city center. Amazing views and walking distance to work.

It's perfect.

I think it could definitely take me places. I want to run my own business one day and I truly believe this position is a step in the right direction. College seemed like a waste of time, I mean? I was studying business but the biggest business empire offered me a full-time job? It would seem a little pointless me refusing that offer just to continue studying business when I have the opportunity right in front of me.

But even with the amazing opportunity I still think of her.

I find myself sitting at my new desk, in my new office, reminiscing.

Thinking back to all the good times.

I miss seeing her in the hallways of college.

I miss her staying over at my house.

I miss our dates.

I miss sharing a bed with her.

But everyone says it'll get easier.

Facetime and texting just isn't the same.

We facetime each other every evening after work and College and we text pretty much all day every day whenever we're both free.

I'm so proud of her, after everything she's been through, she's still strong and encouraging.

4 months ago at the hospital, I watched her face turn pale and almost blue. The panic and horror Ray and I felt was something that I never want to experience or feel again after that moment. They wheeled her out of the room and into surgery and my heart dropped.

I thought that was it.

I thought I'd lose her forever.

But she fought.

She kept fighting.

She keeps on fighting.

Ray and I had been sitting there for about 15 hours before anyone had come to even tell us any news.

A nurse came over and finally gave us the news we'd been waiting for. One of her fractured ribs had punctured through her lung and had caused air to leak into the cavity around her lung. The air was collecting between the two layers of the lining which caused severe pressure on her lungs and prevented it from expanding, being the reason for her coughing and finding it hard to breathe. They briefly explained the procedure they successfully completed, something about putting a needle into her lung and removing the excess air allowing her lung to inflate. It was too much information for me and that's all I needed to know was if she was okay. They also informed us that she had probably experienced excruciating chest pains due puncture problem too, but luckily she was in recovery now and she was doing well.

It was about 3 hours later after they woke her up and they ended up wheeling her back into the room.

She was pale, so so pale.

But she was alive and finally, the complications are over.

I thought her Dad was going to end up bald by the time we had heard the news of her recovery. The way he constantly tugged at his hair in frustration and worry but she was finally back at our sides after hours of painful and impatient waiting.

She found it difficult to breathe and talk at first, needing an oxygen mask every now again to help her along but we were all assured that as long as she rests well then she will make a full recovery.

And she did.

The police had come to take statements but after investigating found that everything seemed to have happened as an accident and that everyone was lucky enough to be alive.

Ray took her home 5 days later with the promise that she fully rests at home.

But Ana being Ana, the stubborn but intelligent woman she is, couldn't bare missing any more time at College so with persuasion the principal allowed her to study from home.

She had no communication from her Mom what so ever. She kept telling me and her Dad that she didn't care, but I know her too well, knowing that deep down she was hurt.

Between work, College and seeing Ana, my schedule was full and I barely did anything else.

Then it happened. They offered me a full-time position and Ana was so supportive but I was torn.

If I took the job I'd have to move to Seattle, I'd be working 5 or 6 days a week and I would barely see her.

I wasn't sure how I would cope with being here alone. Work is going really well but I miss her.

It's been so hard living here and not having someone to turn to, someone to talk face to face to. Someone to kiss, someone to share my bed.

Everyone including Ana said it would get easier and we could work something out. She encouraged me to take the great opportunity and during one evening at home with her, she even helped me with a pro and con list. The con's list was definitely a lot shorter but my main worry was her. But with encouragement and thinking of the future, also promising that when she's feeling better she would come and stay with me at the weekends and I would go home whenever I could.

Well, almost 4 months later here we are. I've been back and forth from Seattle and home every so often, but the time has been limited and I haven't been able to stay longer for than a couple of hours.

She's been getting better, each and every week I see the improvement and every week I keep hoping that one day she'll be strong enough to come to Seattle and see the apartment.

Luckily for me, It's her birthday tomorrow and she's pretty much fully recovered. She's a lot stronger, her breathing is almost 100 percent better and She's decided to come up and stay this weekend for the first time and I just want everything to be perfect.

My apartment was a bit of a mess so I even cleaned that up wanting and needing to give her a good impression.

She still gets a little breathless at times but the Doctor's are happy with her recovery.

She's been going to college again for the last couple of weeks which is amazing and I'm so so proud of her.

I can't wait for her to graduate and I will do everything in my power to find her a dream job here in Seattle so we can finally be together with nothing in our way.

Her Dad has a work business meeting this weekend in Seattle and so they're both driving here and he'll be dropping her off around 6 pm and they'll be making their leave again Sunday evening.

I have the perfect weekend lined up for us. Luckily I managed to bag this Saturday off work and I have so many plans. If she's up to them of course, I'd be happy to just lay in bed with her all weekend.

I hope she likes it here.

I'm praying she likes it here.

It's 5.45 and I'm starting to get a little nervous. I even light some candles around the apartment, women love candles, right?

I've even filled the fridge with things I wouldn't normally stock for myself, but I want to make sure there are things here for whenever she needs it.

My phone buzzes with a text and my lips curl into the biggest smile.

_'Hey! I'm outside! Xx' _

She's here.

Shit.

Fuck.

Why do I feel nervous?

Maybe it's because this is the first time she's seeing the apartment.

What if she doesn't like it?

What if she wouldn't want to stay?

Chill the fuck Christian. Chill. I repeat to myself over and over as I make my way down in the elevator.

I make my way out into the street and there she is.

Gosh.

She's as beautiful as ever. She's wearing a yellow dress with sand colored sandals. She looks absolutely stunning.

Thanks fuck she made the recovery.

Her Dad is in the trunk pulling out her travel bag she's packed ready for the weekend.

She hasn't noticed me yet as her eyes roam around at the big city.

Her Dad smirks seeing me as I carefully move up behind her and places a kiss to the back of her head.

As soon as she feels my kiss she spinning around to face me. Her lips turn into the biggest smile as her arms wrap around my waist.

I hold her close to me, my arms wrapping around her as I nuzzle into her shoulder taking in her scent, wanting to feel her close.

Gosh, I love this girl.

She smiles pulling back slightly and places a kiss to my lips.

"Hey"

She smiles brightly, "Hi".

I gently stroke her cheek before moving to her Dad smiling.

"I'll take that Ray, Do you want to come up?" I gesture to the apartment.

"I have to shoot off, I have to be at the hotel by half past for a conference at 7, but if it's okay with you both I'll drop by early tomorrow morning to wish my girl a Happy Birthday" He smiles moving to Ana hugging her gently and kisses her head.

"Of course Dad" She smiles hugging him back.

"You're welcome anytime Ray"

He nods smiling hugging her once more and taps my shoulder, "You look after her, you hear?" He smirks and I know he's joking. We have such good banter together now.

"I promise sir" I grin and we laugh watching him climb back into his car and drives off.

Ana smiles watching him go and she slips her delicate small hand into mine. Once he's out of sight I lift her hand kissing her knuckles before putting her large travel bag over my shoulder.

"You ready?"

She nods smiling excitedly, "I can't wait to see it".

"I hope you like it…it's not very big but it's cute and..homely I guess" I smile more escorting her inside.

"I'm sure I'll love it".

The elevator goes up and soon the door opens. I guide her across the hall and to room 121.

"Close your eyes" I smirk.

"What?"

"Close your eyes…" I turn the key in the lock before standing behind her. I move my hand gently across her eyes so she can't peek as I carefully open the door and guides her inside.

"Ready?"

"Yes!"

I carefully remove my hand and her eyes flutter open. I stand at the side nervously watching her.

Her eyes roam, gazing over every single feature she can find.

"Oh, Christian…this is amazing…" Her smile is wide along with her eyes. She moves further inside and walks around looking at everything.

"Here let me show you the best part…" I hold my hand for her and she takes it willingly as I guide her to the bedroom. I open the door and the curtains are wide open showing the whole of the city.

"Oh my goodness….this is amazing…" She walks to the window gazing out watching the cars below driving past and throughout the city.

"You kept this part quiet on Facetime" She smirks.

I laugh softly, "I wanted to surprise you when you finally came to visit, I prefer your reaction in real life than on a camera screen" I gently put her bag onto the bed before moving over to her. I smile gently stroking her cheek and moves her curl behind her ear gazing down at her.

Fuck, I've missed her so much.

Her smile grows and she leans into my touch.

"I'm glad I'm finally able to stay"

"Me too, I've missed you so much"

"I missed you too"

I hold her close to me as she moves her arms around my waist. Her head rested on my chest as she gazes out of the window. She's mesmerized by the city view before us and I gently trail my fingers up and down her back soothingly.

"So how are you feeling?"

"I'm fine… I still have small pains every so often but they're barely anything now" She smiles.

Fuck, her smile.

"I want to make this weekend perfect for you"

"It already is" She leans up on her tippy toes and kisses me softly leading me to smile against her lips.

"Have you eaten yet?"

"No not yet, I was a little nervous" She smiles innocently.

"I was too" I admit, "Do you want to head out for something to eat? Or delivery? There are a good few places we could order from, Pizza? Chinese?… they all deliver"

"Oooo Chinese sounds amazing!"

"Chinese it is" I laugh softly and I place a kiss to her forehead before pulling out my phone and calling in an order.

I watch as she starts to make her way around the apartment once more, looking over everything.

I want her to stay here. I want her here forever.

Hopefully one day, we'll be here together and this will be our life.

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Thanks for the amazing reviews on the last chapter! I absolutely adore all of your feedback and appreciate my readers and reviewers that keep coming back for more! Stay tuned as there's more coming right up!


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter 29…

4 months ago I felt absolutely terrified. The excruciating pain through my chest woke me and I struggled to breathe. I felt as though someone had decided to suck all of the air out of my body causing me to feel like I was drowning.

I hear their faint voices panicking around me but they barely even whisper through my mind as my body fights to breathe.

The pain was like nothing I have ever felt before, I knew something was definitely wrong as my breathing became worse and worse.

The next thing I knew I was waking up in a bright room with no one around.

I couldn't see Christian or my Dad and I started to panic.

"Miss Steele, welcome back, you're in recovery…we're keeping you here just for a little while to see the results of your surgery…one of your fractured rib had punctured your lung so we had to take action immediately" A nurse says from the side of me smiling as she's looking through my file.

That's all I can manage is a nod, Oh my gosh everything hurts. I feel as though someone has prodded me with a billion hot poker sticks.

I just wanted Christian and My Dad.

A few days later I was finally able to go home with the promise of complete bed rest and regular check-ups.

I barely left the house for the first couple weeks but not being able to do anything was driving me crazy. I missed college, I missed going out with my friends, I missed going out with Christian.

I finally started doing my college work from home, I was worried that if I didn't catch up I wouldn't be able to graduate, so with the help of the lecturers, Dad, Christian, Kate, Mia and Elliot, I've managed to keep up to date. I don't know what I would have done without them all honestly, they've all been amazing and I can't find the words to thank them enough.

We've had a girls night every single week since I returned home from the hospital which has been wonderful!

Kate and Mia would come over and we'd order take away and watch movies and they'd tell me all the gossip from College.

Christian came over every single day that he could. He was starting to get exhausted. He would never admit it but I could tell. Between college and working, I think it started to take its toll on him.

Then it happened.

I knew it would happen sooner or later, but I didn't think it would be so soon.

_"They've offered me a full-time job Ana, I don't know what to do" _

_"What do you want to do?" _

_"I want to take it…but…I'll have to move to Seattle" _

_"If you want to take it, you should, it'll be an amazing opportunity for you Christian, you'll do so well, they're really impressed with you already and I'm so proud of you" _

_"What about us?" _

_"We can figure something out, I'll always be here" _

_"I don't know what to do" _

_"How about we write up and sort out a pro and con list?" _

_"This is why I love you, always so organized and headstrong" _

I felt strange when he was finally leaving. I knew then it would be difficult to see each other but he needed this, he needed and deserved this opportunity. But then he was gone and I felt as though something was missing.

I'd start to over think things like, what if he never comes back, or what if he decides it's over between us, or what if he meets another girl up there.

That thought hurt the most. What if he did meet someone else? What if this time apart makes him realize he doesn't want this? I find myself constantly gazing down at the ring he gave me.

He wouldn't do that, right? Could he be with someone else?

I know I couldn't.

I still wasn't fully recovered enough to go to Seattle but I wanted to try and I wanted to make sure I visited him. I wanted to make the effort as much as he was.

He would come and visit on Sundays, but I could see him getting sleepier and sleepier with each and every visit.

But the effort he made was unforgettable.

He's amazing and kind and caring and I love him with all of my heart.

I wanted to start doing things again, I wanted to start going back to my old self. With a go-ahead from the Doctor and Christian's Mom, she's been amazing help with my recovery too, I finally made it back to College. I would only stay for my lectures and then make my way home again but it was a step in the right direction.

When I told Christian he was excited and proud and I could hear the hope in his voice again.

I promised him a couple of weeks later, I'd be there with him. I'd see his new apartment. I'd be there with him every weekend. It'll be my Birthday and it'll be the perfect opportunity.

And finally, here I am.

Being woken by him in his bed. Wearing his shirt. Laying beside him.

I feel his kisses along my cheek, along my jaw, along my collar bone, then back to my lips.

Gosh, I've missed him so so much.

My lips curl into a smile as I keep my eyes closed.

He kisses me softly and I reciprocate the kiss willingly.

"Happy Birthday Beautiful" He whispers softly against my lips.

"Mmm…Thank you…I could get used to this" I giggle softly, gently stroking his cheek as I finally open my eyes and gazes up at him.

"How are you feeling?" He smiles laying beside me.

Both of us on our sides gazing at each other.

"Amazing..I love being here" I smile more.

"I love having you here" He leans forward kissing me once again.

I gently run my hand through his hair as I deepen the kiss slightly. I've missed him so so much.

"So… I've made you breakfast in bed" He gestures to the tray placed on the bedside table and my smile grows, "I also have some things planned today, I wanted to surprise you for your birthday If you're feeling up to it? If not I'll happily lay here all day with you" He grins making me laugh.

"Sounds perfect to me" I kiss him once more before we both sit up and starts eating our breakfast. He reaches for a remote at the side of his bed and he smirks as he presses a button and the curtains start to open revealing the city.

My smile grows even more and I can feel him watching me.

I really could get used to this.

When I lift the lid off my plate, there's a candle placed in the middle of a large stack of blueberry pancakes, crispy bacon at the side, scrambled eggs and hash browns.

Wow.

This man is perfect.

I grin and I cup his cheek kissing him.

"I could definitely get used to this"

"Believe me, So could I" He smiles more and places a kiss to my head as I start to eat.

"So…what do you have planned?" I say as I bite into my slice of bacon.

"Ah, now that would be telling" He smirks.

"Oh come on! Pleeeeaaaaassse!" I whine teasingly making him laugh.

"Nope" He smirks climbing out of bed and I swallow hard.

His abs, His muscles, His arms, His body. Completely bare in front of me once again.

"Enjoying the view?" He teases raises an eyebrow as he makes his way towards the en suite bathroom.

"Maybe…" I smirk teasing him right back.

"I'm going to take a shower, do you want to join me?" He asks nervously as he rubs the back of his neck.

That's something we haven't done before, but the thought of it appeals to me.

"Or a bath?" I watch him think to himself.

"A bath sounds perfect"

A shower would be nice, but a bath…A bath is different. It's relaxing, It's warm and we'll be closer.

I want to be closer.

I watch as his lips curl into the biggest smile and he nods making his way into the bathroom and I hear him turn the water on.

This breakfast is amazing and so thoughtful, I've thoroughly enjoyed every bite.

I love being here and honestly, I could live this way for the rest of my life.

I think I'd be happy here.

I think we could be happy here.

I hope he likes having me here too, he seems to, but I still have my worries that maybe one day, he'll find someone better. My experience with my Mom, she's never been happy with anyone and after watching her go from man to man to man and choosing every man over me, I think I'll always have that doubt that maybe I'll never be good enough. I wasn't good enough for her, so how can I be good enough for anyone else?

Stop thinking this way Ana, I scold myself.

Christian walks back in pulling me from my thoughts, "It's ready whenever you are" He smiles more and I nod taking my last bite of pancake and I follow him into the bathroom.

The bathroom is beautiful. Decorated in brown and cream, a white old fashioned style bathtub placed right in the center. It's modern but old fashioned, same as the rest of the apartment and I absolutely adore it.

He's even put bubbles in the bath. This man will be the death of me.

I kiss his cheek smiling before I start to remove his shirt from my body.

"Here, let me…" He moves standing behind me.

My heart starts to race. I've missed his touch, I've missed him. I've missed our time together.

He gently grips the hem of the shirt and slowly starts to pull it up over my head.

I'm stood there now in no bra and my black panties as he throws his shirt onto the nearby chair.

He dips down and nuzzles into my neck from behind, placing gentle kisses along my shoulder.

"I've missed you so much" He whispers sincerely.

My heart melts.

"I missed you too"

I turn to face him and I cup his cheeks, tippy-toeing up kissing him deeply. His hands move to my waist gently stroking my sides as I kiss him back.

I want to do something for him, he's waited for me for so long, he's done so much for me. I want to do more for him.

My hands move to his boxers and I slowly push them down, he steps out of them.

Should I be doing this?

Am I allowed?

Will it be okay with my surgery?

I want to. I really really want to but his hands move to mine and he brings them up to his lips kissing his knuckles.

"I want to make sure you're 100 percent recovered before we go any further" He whispers sincerely, "Trust me I want to, Fuck, I want to every moment of every day. That time it happened…it was the best moment of my life, but I want to wait until you're fully recovered I don't want to hurt you and I want to make it special again" He kisses my knuckles again and I nod appreciatively.

He carefully removes my panties and I can see his eyes rake over my body making me blush.

He climbs into the bath and offers me his hand which I willingly take and I carefully climb in sinking down between his legs. He leans back against the tub and his hands gently move to my waist making small circles along my skin as I lean back against his chest.

We embrace each other for what seems like a lifetime.

Once we're out and dressed, my phone pings with a text.

_"Happy Birthday Annie sweetheart! I can't believe how grown up you are! The years are flying by way too quickly. I have to go to work earlier than expected and I didn't want to wake you, but I'll see you later. Enjoy your day with Christian, I already know what he has planned and I know he's going to spoil you rotten. Happy Birthday, sweetheart, I'll see you later. I love you. Dad x" _

Nothing from my mother though. Shock horror.

Once we're dressed Christian escorts me to his car.

"So, Where are we going?"

"A Surprise" he grins, "I hope you enjoy it".

My eyes widen as we arrive at the zoo.

"Really?!" I look at him excitedly and he laughs nodding.

"Really Really"

I'm so excited!

We wander around all of the animals, grab some lunch at the Rainforest Cafe and he surprises me more by having a feeding session with the giraffes and zebras. There's a small fun fair so we take the lighter rides like the Ferris wheel and the riverboat cruise around the safari of animals. It's wonderful.

It's been a lovely afternoon. Exactly what we both needed.

"So…I have one more surprise for you" He smiles as we make our leave with ice creams in hand.

"Christian, you've already done so much" I laugh softly, "Thank you for today, It's been perfect".

"Just one more I promise, another surprise, but I think you'll love it…I've reserved a table at the best restaurant in the city"

"You spoil me too much" I smile gently moving my arm around his waist and his arm around my shoulders as we make our way back to the car.

"I'll spoil you for the rest of your life" He smiles kissing the top of my head.

We drive back to his apartment and he explains the Canlis restaurant. It's kind of posh so he dressed in a tux.

"So….I have one more surprise" He holds his hand out for me as I'm putting my hair up into a twirled fancy bun at the back of my head.

"You said one more surprise about the restaurant!" He laughs nodding and I smile excitedly taking his hand and he escorts me into the spare room where there's a small box wrapped up with a red bow places on the bed along with a card. Then hanging from the door is a dress bag.

I look at him curiously.

"They're both for you…I hoped maybe you could wear them tonight" He smiles softly and I make my way over to the bag slowly unzipping it.

The red material flows beautifully. The small shimmer it gives off. It's absolutely beautiful.

"Christian…this…it must have cost a fortune…I.."

He moves up behind me smiling and kisses the back of my head, "You deserve it".

My smile grows and he moves to the small box on the bed and hands it to me.

"Happy Birthday Ana" He smiles softly.

I slowly start to open up the box and I pull off the lid. Inside is a beautiful silver charm bracelet.

3 charms already attached.

A Book.

A Skyscraper.

A heart.

Tears well in my eyes and I look to him. I move to stand between his legs and I kiss him deeply, lovingly, needily.

"It's beautiful Christian, I don't know how to thank you…Today has been so amazing" My tears start to fall and he reaches up wiping them away smiling.

"I love you"

"I love you".

Once we're both ready, he orders a taxi cab to drive us to the restaurant. It's absolutely beautiful!

The front of the restaurant being made of glass so the views are amazing, you can even see the starry sky above us.

Christian's arm moves gently around my waist as we make our way in.

"Reservation for Grey" The waitress smiles and nods.

"Please follow me right this way," She says as she guides us through the restaurant and around to a booth.

"SURPRISE! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"

Everyone is here.

My Dad, Christian's parents, Mia, Kate and Elliot.

Tears well in my eyes as they all move to hug me and wish me a happy birthday. They all hand me cards and presents and I feel completely and utterly overwhelmed. I feel so loved and cared for.

I look to Christian and he's smiling. I love his smile.

It's nice seeing him happy.

I can't believe he's done all of this for me. This weekend has been beyond amazing and I can't thank him enough.

One day, this will be our forever.

It will, won't it?

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	30. Chapter 30

Chapter 30…

This weekend has been absolutely incredible. It was more than I ever imagined it to be and so much better.

I still can't believe he did this for me. He organized everything and it's been completely and utterly faultless.

How I've gotten so lucky I'll never know.

Last night was amazing, all my loved ones around to celebrate my birthday thanks to him.

I still can't believe they all traveled up here to surprise me. I was completely and utterly speechless.

The gifts I received were also incredible and the ones I've had from Christian, words cannot describe how beautiful they are.

Every detail, Every thought, Every little thing was just incredibly beautiful.

I find myself constantly gazing and playing with the charm bracelet on he got me that sits perfectly on my wrist.

The charms already on there mean so much to me.

A book, because I love my books.

A skyscraper because one day hopefully, we'll be here in Seattle together.

A heart, because I love him and he loves me.

I never thought I'd find a romance like in my books but I have and it excites and exhilarates me.

Good girl falls for the bad boy, a ton of stuff happens but they always get their happy ending.

Or at least most of them do.

I often find my mind wandering and overthinking. And wondering what the future would bring for us.

He's come so far already and he keeps on surprising me.

His Mom continually thanks me for everything I've done. Her words often are:

_"Thank you for saving him" _

But what she doesn't know is, he's saved me too.

He's saved me from closing myself in, locking myself away. Staying distant and secluded.

Showing me love exists. Proving to me that someone can love me, even if my mother couldn't.

That everything I've witnessed my Mom go through doesn't have to happen for everyone. Some of us can find love and stick with it, through all the storms.

Similar to his birth Mom.

Maybe that's why we get each other, maybe that's why we get along. We are kind of similar in pasts and presents.

Grace is his Ray, and Ray is my Grace.

It all makes sense now.

But now my mind wanders to the kisses being pressed along my skin once again. I'm here in his bed, in Seattle and there's no other place I'd rather be.

The fact I have to leave in a couple of hours kills me.

His kisses move along my jaw down to my neck and I giggle smiling sleepily at his attempts to wake me.

His hands wrap around my waist from behind as he spoons behind me, nuzzling into my neck.

"Good morning" He smiles whispering against my ear.

"Morning" I whisper sleepily and smiles.

He continues his assassination of kisses before I giggle and turns to face him.

"I could wake up like this for the rest of my life," I say smiling as I cup his cheek, gazing into his eyes.

"Don't leave then" He smirks teasingly moving his hand to my waist, lifting his shirt that I'm wearing so his fingertips are on bare skin.

"I wish I could"

"One day it'll happen, Graduation is only a couple of weeks away, then you're all mine"

I laugh more at his words.

"I have to find a job first, I think me and the coffee shop days are over" I smile running my hand through his hair.

"I'll help you, I promise…SIP would kill to have someone like you I swear it".

"That would be the dream"

"One day baby, one day"

I nod and smiles just enjoying his embrace. Enjoying his fingers against my skin.

"Thank you again for this weekend, it's been beyond perfect" I smile lovingly up at him and I watch as his lips curl into a bigger smile.

"I wanted to make it perfect for you"

"You certainly did that"

His head dips down and he kisses my lips softly. Our lips moving together. Molding perfectly. Our fingers play gently against each other, relishing every second we have together.

I trail my hand gently down his chest and under his shirt, stroking my hand against his side.

I'm better now right?

I'm feeling better, my breathing Is fine.

I'm leaving today and I want him. I want all of him.

I want to thank him for everything he's done for me and I want to feel him as close to me as possible.

I slowly move my hand a little lower and suddenly his hand is on mine in a warning.

"I want to…" I whisper softly against his lips.

"but…"

"No buts…. please.." I move to kiss his neck and I watch as his eyes close before me.

I notice how his shorts move slightly. He's already turned on.

He needs this just as much as I do.

"Ana, what If I hurt you"

"You won't…just….we can go slow…" I cup his cheek reassuringly and I earn a nod.

I continue to kiss him, my hands trailing his body.

I feel so confident when I'm with him.

His hand moves to my thigh and he trails up higher.

"If it gets too much, you tell me right away okay?"

"I promise".

My heart rate increases feeling his teasing fingers.

And there.

Finally.

Right where I need him to be.

His fingertips tease against my panties as he kisses me.

He's gentle and slow.

He moves my panties to the side and lets skin press against my hot center causing me to gasp and writhe at the ever so sensitive touch.

It feels just as good as the first time I remember.

I wriggle and writhe beneath him as his fingers circle and tease me.

"Fuck Ana, I've missed you so fucking much"

"I…I..ahhh…I missed you too" I pant and moan softly ah his touch.

My hand moves to his shorts and squeezes him slightly through his shorts gaining a hiss from his lips.

"Fuck!"

He groans and his eyes close.

He's rock hard.

Our kisses and fondling continue.

Then, he slowly removes my panties and his boxers.

We're both panting and I'm glad there's no pain in my chest.

I've wanted and needed him for weeks and now we're finally alone together.

He slowly sinks into me.

I wince slightly at the contact but it's nowhere near as painful as the first time. The pressure is the worst part.

He moves deeper and deeper.

Oh shit. I can feel him fill me completely and my arms move around his neck as my head throws back slightly and my lips make an O as I moan softly at the pressure inside of me.

"Are you okay?" He nuzzles into my neck whispering, letting me adjust to him.

I can only manage a nod as my breath is caught just for a split moment.

Once I get my breathing back I start to kiss along his neck edging him to move.

We make love for the second time. It's perfect, It's in his apartment, our future apartment. It's everything we've both been waiting months for. The love in our eyes melts us both away as we gaze into each other's eyes reaching our climax together.

Now we both lay there panting softly, holding our sweaty, sex-scented bodies together.

He has a smile on his face as he trails patterns along my arm as I begin to calm my body and breathing.

_'Beautiful' _

_'Seattle' _

_'Home' _

_'Family'_

_'Books'_

_'Sex' _

Are all words he trails and I giggle watching him.

He smirks continuing.

_'I Love you' _

_'Will you marry me?'_

What?

Say what?

Did he…

No…

He didn't

He did.

He gazes up into my eyes smiling as I look at him seriously.

"I mean it… Will you marry me?"

"Seriously?" My heart is racing more now than it was having sex.

"After this weekend, I don't want to wait any longer. I want to make you mine, I want you to be Mrs. Grey…I want us forever" He smiles lacing our fingers.

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Coming up next, Graduation and a possible interview! What could go wrong?! Stay tuned!


	31. Chapter 31

Chapter 31…

"Yes?"

"Yes, Yes, Yes" She wraps her arms around my neck with the brightest smile I have t I have ever seen. It's intoxicating.

She actually said yes! I can't believe it.

I kiss her deeply, lovingly, passionately.

This moment is perfect, one of my favorite memories.

I watch as she moves her promise ring to her left hand smirking up at me.

"Soon to be Mrs. Grey" I kiss the tip of her nose gazing down at her as I lean up on my elbow beside her as we continue to lay in bed together.

"Mrs. Grey…I'm not sure I'll ever get used to that" She giggles.

Her giggle is like music to my ears.

"I can't believe you said yes"

"I can't believe you asked"

"Now I have you, I never want to lose you"

"Me neither".

She smiles up at me and leans up kissing me again.

That morning flew by.

We made love for the second time that morning and it was again, perfect.

Nothing like my past.

Those memories in a far distance now.

Now I have her, I don't even think about it. The need and want of the roughness, the adrenaline, completely and utterly gone and replaced with Love, gentleness, and care.

When we finally emerged from the bed, I treated her to breakfast. The same cute quiet little place we went to when we first ever came here together for my interview.

We even had the exact same things ordered as last time.

It's quite comical really.

"So…now you've stayed here for a weekend…what do you think of the apartment?"

"It's beautiful, I love it… it's so…cosy…and us"

"Us?" I laugh softly as I sip my black coffee.

"Yeah you know, It's kinda quirky, not quite like the others…but just right for us"

I smile at her words. She's completely right.

She moves her tea to her lips as she holds the cup with both hands, her ring shimmering in the sunlight and honestly, it makes my heart skip a beat.

She's mine.

"So you'll be coming back then?" I smirk.

"I kind of have to" She smirks right back make her ring shimmer more towards me as she gestures to it.

"Have you told anyone yet?"

"Has your Mom and family left yet? I thought maybe we could do that together? Before we all make our leave maybe? I know my Dad is coming over soon"

"Not yet, they wanted to come over too, I'll text my Mom"

I pull my out phone texting My Mom asking her to come by my place around midday.

Once breakfast is over, I walk her the long way around to the apartment. Just wanting to spend time with her. Wanting to show her that one day hopefully, we can make this home together.

Within the hour we are both sat on the couch, gently playing our fingers against each other, simply enjoying the embrace and company of each other as we wait for the others to arrive.

"You realize my Mom, Kate and Mia are all going to pounce on you as soon as we tell them?" I smirk.

"You realize Elliot is going to make fun of you right?" She smirks right back.

"He'll have the balls to do it one day too…I think Kate is it for him too"

"Really?"

"Yeah, he's never really done relationships either, but he's so different with Kate, same as I am with you" I kiss the top of her head holding her a little tighter.

"Must be a Grey thing" She giggles teasing me.

I love this girl.

Soon the knock on the door happens and we announce our news.

And low and behold, we were both right.

The girls are swooning over Ana and Elliot is mocking me as he steals a beer from my fridge, as Elliot, Ray, my Dad and myself stand in the kitchen away from the screaming swooning women.

As I stand in the kitchen, I gaze around. I look around the apartment. I look around at the people. I look at Ana.

There's so much love in one place it's a little overwhelming for me.

Everyone's looking at Ana's ring but her gaze finds mine and she smiles.

Fuck, she's so beautiful.

How did a fuck up orphan like me end up with such a loving family, a kind, caring and stunning fiancé, and a home and job that is more than I could have ever dreamed of.

I'm one lucky fucking bastard.

Now my main aim is to get Ana here. Here with me. I'm going to keep my eye out for all publishing jobs here in Seattle. Her graduation is in a couple of weeks and I know she's already started looking for things.

Fuck, I couldn't even care if she doesn't have a job, I'll support her, she can still move in with me until we find her something.

But for now, I'm standing on the sidewalk watching my whole family drive away from me. I wave gently as the cars pull away and I see Ana's stunning eyes gaze back out of the window at me.

I hate it when she's not around. She gives the smallest of waves and I reciprocate it. It's sad, slow and unwanted.

Then, all 3 cars are out of sight.

Moms.

Kate's.

Ray's.

Gone.

I'm here all alone again.

The next time I see her properly will be her graduation which I will be 100 percent present for.

So until then, texts, calls, and facetime will have to do.

The next week or so goes by pretty quickly.

Ana and I have face timed every night while she's there emailing her resume and cover letters to a bunch of publishing places and applying for a shit ton of jobs.

Back here in Seattle, I've been doing the same for her.

I know SIP is the one she wants and I will try to do everything in my absolute power to get it for her.

It's Friday and instead of being sat at home alone again, I stayed on in work to finish things off. I'm sat at my desk going through some business meeting notes from our last meeting. Dealing with China is a hard deal but it's good business. My phone buzzes with a message from Ana and it makes my tired lips curl into a smile.

_'I GOT AN INTERVIEW!' _

_'You did?! For where?! I'm just leaving work, I'll call you in 10' _

_'I'm just getting home myself! Can't wait to speak to you!'_

She got an interview. I can't believe it!

I quickly finish up in work and make my leave making my way back to my apartment.

Wait.

She's only just got home?

Where has she been?

She didn't tell me she was going out?

Maybe it was just with Kate and Mia. My family adores her so much and Kate's been an amazing friend to both Ana and my sister.

I'm finally home and once my shoes are kicked off I, I pick up my mail putting them on my coffee table saving them for later before I dial her number.

"Hey!" She answers excitedly.

"Hey, sorry I took so long"

"It's okay, how was work?"

"I stayed on late tonight, I wanted to finish this business thing with China so had to relook over some of the notes we took at the last meeting to see if there was any information in there I could use"

"That sounds…complicated"

"Oh, It is" I laugh softly but smiles, "Anyway, come on tell me your good news, what interview?"

"Well, you know how I applied for a bunch of things?"

"Yes," I laugh at her excited tone.

"New York Times has offered me an Interview the weekend after graduation!"

Wait.

What?

New York?

I didn't know she had applied for things in New York.

I must be silently thinking for too long when her voice echoes through my mind.

"Christian? Are you there?"

"Yeah…yeah…I'm here…I….That's amazing Ana, I'm proud of you"

"Are you okay? You don't sound….yourself?"

I'm overthinking Ana.

I'm sorry. But I can't help it.

How the fuck is that meant to work?

Me in Seattle. Her in New York.

It's not going to.

"Yeah…sorry I'm just tired I guess…"

I don't want to argue with her, I can't. I want to be excited for her, but I can't.

"You're not happy about New York are you…" She says quietly, her voice suddenly not filled with excitement anymore.

"I just thought you were applying for things here in Seattle"

"I was, 90 percent of them are Seattle, but The New York Times came up and I just thought I'd try"

"If you get it…how…I mean…when…" I have no idea how I'm supposed to word this.

"We can figure it out, Christian"

"We can figure out almost 3 thousand miles? A 44-hour car drive? A 6-hour flight? Ana…."

The logistics aren't going to work. We barely see each other now and we're only 2 hours away. How is this supposed to be okay?

I don't know how I feel.

I'm proud, I'm so fucking proud of her. The New York Times? Fuck! It's amazing. But now I feel sad, disappointed, hurt, even angry because the future we saw together….might not work out.

"We can figure it out Christian, I haven't even had the interview yet, I might not even get the job..."

"Ana they'd be stupid not to give you the job, you're amazing"

"Please just, keep your mind open okay?"

"Yeah…Okay…"

I know I sound blunt and hurt but I can't help it, my emotions still show way too easily and I guess no matter how hard I try to change and be better, my emotions will always show through and through.

"Jose tonight at dinner offered to rent out his family apartment in New York for the weekend, so if you want to come with me… I was thinking maybe Kate and Elliot could come too?"

Wait. What?

"You went to dinner with Jose?"

I know I shouldn't feel jealous. She's mine. She agreed to be mine.

But, What the fuck is going on?

"Not just the two of us, there were a few of us….Me, Jose, Kate, Hannah, Jack"

"Fucking Jack Hyde? Seriously?!"

"Christian calm down…it was only dinner, nothing happened, I didn't know he was coming, everyone was just invited and whoever showed up, showed up. "

Even the sound of his name makes me angry.

I'm tired, I'm lonely and I miss her. I know she wouldn't cheat on me, but even her being with him sends chills through my body making me angrier. Remembering all those times he tried it on with her.

"Okay" I try to remain calm. I don't want to say the wrong things.

"Are you serious right now Christian? Do you think I'm going to go off with him or something? This is the first time I've been out with my friends since the accident! I just wanted to come for dinner, there were other people there...and I said yes to marry you! Only you Christian. Why are you acting like this?"

"Look, I'm sorry…I just…This is all a bit of a surprise to me, New York, Jack…you know how I feel about him".

"Yes I do and I didn't know he'd be there, I went there with Kate. And New York…well…like I said we can figure it out".

"Okay…I'm sorry…"

"Okay…I'm sorry too"

Our first kind of argument? I guess.

I'm still angry though. My mind still churning with thoughts it almost makes me sick.

New York.

Jack.

The future I once saw, has changed. I need to get her an Interview with SIP as soon as possible.

"Anyway, I should probably grab a shower, it's been a long day…I'm proud of you Ana, I really am and of course I'll come to New York with you".

"Okay, I'll text you later then? And You're still coming next weekend?

"Of course, I wouldn't miss your Graduation..I'll be there, I promise"

"And Christian? I'm proud of you too you know…I love you"

"I love you too"

Once the phones have hung up, I find my fist plunging into the wall. This hasn't happened in such a long time and yes, I know, I'm overreacting but I don't know how else to deal with it okay!

New York?!

New York is almost 3 thousand miles away from here!

We would never see each other, ever! She would find some Yank rich man and move on.

She'll forget about me.

Everyone always does. Even my own Mom.

And Jack! Fucking Jack Hyde! I bet he showed up to dinner fully knowing Ana was going, the absolute fucking dick head!

What if he tried something? What if he did something? I wouldn't have been there for her.

I can't cope with this, my mind is reeling, churning, over thinking, going absolutely fucking crazy!

Stop it Christian! Snap the fuck out of it! I scold myself over and over.

Calm.

Breathe.

In and Out.

I close my eyes sitting on the couch holding my now bruises knuckles.

Fucking great. Just when I thought I'd never do something like that again.

I try to calm my breathing even a little.

Once the pounding has stopped I open my eyes and reaches for my bills.

Opening one by one.

One for my iPhone.

One for my cable.

One for my Wifi.

This one…is strange.

I open the envelope and gently unfolds it.

My eyes widen, my heart starts to pound once again. My hands begin to shake. I skim over the letter quickly, picking out the most important words.

_Christian Grey, _

_Visiting Request for a Mrs. Elena Lincoln. _

_Please respond in due course to arrange a convenient time and date. _

How the fuck?

What the fuck?

Is this even allowed to be sent? How the fuck did I get this?

How was it allowed to be sent to a victim?

Just when I thought things couldn't get any worse.

Just when I thought things couldn't make me any angrier.

She always seems to worm her way in somewhere at the most inconvenient times.

It's like she fucking plans this shit.

I stare at the letter for what seems like a lifetime.

I start to think about my past, My birth Mom, Elena, Leila.

All of it was toxic, It made me into someone I didn't want to be.

Now I have Ana she's my light.

But what if I lose her now? What if New York takes her away?

I sit there pondering.

Looking around my apartment.

I remember seeing the smiling happy faces that were here last week.

I don't want to give that up.

I can't give that up.

I can't go backward.

Stay strong Christian, you can do this, it'll all work out. Stay on the future now. That's the way forward.

I stand, holding the letter and rips it into tiny pieces before throwing it out of the apartment window watching it glide through the city streets.

Good bye past, It's all about the future now.

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Thank you to everyone reading and reviewing it means so much to me! I've had almost 50k views and it makes my heart pound with joy that so many people are enjoying this story!

I hope you'll continue to enjoy and review as the chapters keep coming! Update coming very soon! Thanks again, everyone!


	32. Chapter 32

Chapter 32…

_"Christian calm down…it was only dinner, nothing happened, I didn't know he was coming, everyone was just invited and whoever showed up, showed up. " _

_"Okay"_

_"Are you serious right now Christian? Do you think I'm going to go off with him or something? This is the first time I've been out with my friends since the accident! I just wanted to come for dinner, there are other people here and I said yes to marry you! Why are you acting like this?" _

_"Look, I'm sorry…I just…This is all a bit of a surprise to me, New York, Jack…you know how I feel about him". _

_"Yes I do and I didn't know he'd be there, I went there with Kate. And New York…well…like I said we can figure it out". _

_"Okay…I'm sorry…" _

_"Okay…I'm sorry too" _

_"Anyway, I should probably grab a shower, it's been a long day…I'm proud of you Ana, I really am and of course I'll come to New York with you". _

_"Okay, I'll text you later then? And You're still coming next weekend? _

_"Of course, I wouldn't miss your Graduation..I'll be there, I promise" _

_"And Christian? I'm proud of you too you know…I love you" _

_"I love you too"_

I've been pondering our mini argument since it happened. I feel completely terrible and I should have approached the situation differently. He's sensitive and alone and I know that I just, I wasn't thinking of him, I was thinking of myself. I was being selfish. Of course he would have been disappointed in New York and of course, he would have been angry hearing about Jack being around me. I really need to start thinking before I speak, even more so around his triggers. I just hope he's okay.

He will be, right?

I love him. I love him so much and now knowing I hurt him even just a little bit makes me hate myself.

We've barely spoken since that night. It's only been a couple of days and I know we've both been busy, but now I'm over thinking everything.

What if he doesn't want to talk to me?

What if he's done?

Before the argument, we face time every night, but now I find myself sitting in my room every night waiting for the call to come but it hasn't and when I try to call him, it goes to voice mail.

Instead, I'll receive texts like:

_'Sorry It's been a long day, goodnight, I love you' _

_'I hope you've had a good day, I'll call you tomorrow' _

The I love you's were always there, but something just feels, distant. I did this.

I messed up and I hurt him. I need to make it up to him.

He's done so much for me, he's visited me, he's called me, he's made the effort. Now I'm better myself, I can return the favor and I can make the effort for him.

I hoped he would have called last night so I could apologize again and because I had some more news for him. I hoped it would give him some reassurance, some happiness, and some hope again. A chance to talk to me again, but, the call never came and instead, once again, I received a text.

_'Just getting home, I'm sorry. I'm exhausted, I'll call you tomorrow, I promise' _

My heart sinks into my chest seeing the text.

I don't even know what to think anymore.

I sit there gazing between my ring and his text message.

Maybe he's right, New York definitely wouldn't work. It was stupid of me to even consider something so far away. I applied because it would have been a great opportunity, but honestly? I didn't think I'd even get an interview. But I choose him. I will choose him every single day.

We haven't spoken properly in 5 days and I already miss him.

Me being so far away would ruin it, it would ruin us.

But like I said before, I have some good news and I hope it'll all work out.

I asked my Dad could I borrow his car and he willingly agreed after the whole Dad talk of: be careful, are you sure you feel okay enough to drive? Call me if you need anything. He's so caring bless him. After packing up my things, including a nice interview outfit, I pack up the car and makes my leave towards Seattle.

It's Wednesday and with Graduation on Friday, Christian can ride back with me.

College is pretty much done and with my exciting news, it's an opportunity I can't afford to miss.

Once Dad's car is packed up I make my drive.

I hope he likes me surprising him.

But what if he doesn't?

I'm his fiancé now, surely he'll be happy.

The two-hour drive goes pretty quickly. It's almost midday and I know he'll be at work.

Maybe If I park up in the Garage near his apartment, I can leave my stuff in the car, for now, maybe treat him to some lunch? Surprise him at work.

I still can't believe I'm doing this.

I hope he won't be mad.

I start to panic a little as I stand in the cafe line waiting for the order.

I gaze around and my eyes land on our usual table and it makes me smile. Remembering our first time here, remembering the last time we were here, just after we made love.

That thought sends my heart racing more. Making love to Christian, was the most intimate, incredible and addictive thing I've ever done in my life. I don't think I could ever stop with him.

No one else could compare, I want him to be my one and only.

Finally, it's my turn to order and I ask for a large black coffee, a lemon drizzle slice, a tea, a blueberry muffin, and two ham and cheese sandwiches to take away.

I hope he likes it.

It's not long before the Barista is handing over the drinks and a bag with our lunch in.

I find myself standing outside of his office building gazing up at it, and my heart pounds a little nervously.

Is this a good idea?

Oh gosh, I hope so.

I miss him.

Come on Ana, Be brave.

He needs you. You need him.

I take a deep breath and I make my way inside.

"Hi…I'm looking for Christian Grey?"

"Do you have an appointment?"

"No, I'm his girl… I mean his fiancé" I'll never get used to saying that.

"Oh, you must be Ana?"

I nod smiling, so he must have told people about me. That's a good sign.

"If you head on up to the third floor, I'll call the receptionist there and inform them you're on your way up"

"Perfect, thank you for your help"

She was pretty, Slim, Blonde. A little like a Barbie doll, perfect.

As I'm walking through the building I find all the women are very similar, slim, well dressed, screaming designer from head to toe.

Manicures and makeup, the smell of hairspray filling my senses every time I walk past someone.

I feel extremely intimidated right now and my mind starts to wander and panic, same as it always does.

There are a few men walking around too, suited up, big in build, groomed well, a lot like Christian.

Maybe you have to be a certain type to work here?

I definitely would not fit in.

Then my panic starts to increase and I start to go into anxiety breathing.

In and Out Ana, In, and Out.

I don't fit in here, maybe I don't fit with Christian. Maybe that's why he hasn't spoken much to me lately, maybe he's realized that.

I look down at my ring and I twirl it around and around my skin.

He loves me, He does.

I'm his.

I close my eyes taking a deep breath as the elevator moves up to the third floor.

"Hi…I'm…"

"Ana….I've heard so much about you."She says a little formally but with a hint of excitement. It's strange, but professional I guess. "I'm Andrea, the receptionist on this floor…Christian is just in a meeting right now, but he should be finished within the next 20 minutes"

"Okay…thanks, I'll just come back"

"Nonsense, his room is right this way, there's seating outside his door" She stands showing me down the hall.

The whole building is spotless and gleaming. Extremely formal.

Once we arrive at the seating area, Andrea makes her leave and I sit opposite the door.

Either side of the door is clear straight through glass allowing me to look inside.

I see him, all dressed up in his suit, even a tie. He looks…amazing.

I've missed him so much.

He moves to the large window splayed behind his desk gazing out at the city view.

Then… a female moves beside him gazing out too.

They seem to be talking. I watch curiously but something starts pulling at my stomach.

Jealous. I feel jealous.

A slim, redhead stood next to him. Grey pencil skirt and a white shirt.

This must be how he felt when I told him about Jack. He turns to face her and they continue talking and her hand moves to his shoulder, she seems to be older than him. Older than both of us.

Then Elena pops into my head.

I can't.

I stand and moves back to the reception area. My heart racing.

Now I know how I made him feel.

He wouldn't cheat, I know he wouldn't but never the less, my heart is pounding.

"Uhm…I have to go, can I leave these here for him? I'll see him later"

"Yes, of course, I'll give them right to him when he's done"

"Thanks…"

I move to the elevator and I press the buttons going down.

I rush out onto the sidewalk taking a deep breath of air.

I'm overreacting I know.

I know he wouldn't do anything, I trust him.

But the quietness, the texts, the lack of communication. I hurt him when I told him about New York and about Jack being at dinner, so my mind is now reeling with a billion thoughts.

What if he doesn't want me anymore?

I put my tea into the bin and realize I've left my food up there with Christian's things. But luckily for me, I'm not feeling so hungry anymore.

I wander around the city for a while, simply looking around and attempting to calm my nerves.

I have a last minute scheduled interview tomorrow for an internship at SIP. I was lucky to even be considered because applications for the role had already closed, but they scheduled me in any way. But now I have no idea if I even have a place to stay tonight, what if he doesn't want me here?

Tears start to fill my eyes. After everything with my Mom, watching her leave Man after Man, I never wanted that for myself, I don't want that.

I feel so insecure and intimidated right now, I have no idea how to deal with it.

I know I should grow up and deal with it.

_'Put on a big girls face and stop crying' _

Is what my mother spouts at me when I get upset or anxious.

_'Grow the fuck up' _

Is what Bob would say to me when I lived with them.

But, my Dad, Ray. He would comfort me, He would tell me it would all be okay.

_'It's okay to cry, it's okay to be anxious sometimes, just stay strong and keep your head up.'_

I repeat his words in my head trying to be stronger. Trying to calm my worrying head.

Between Christian and Jack and me and this mystery work girl, we're both so insecure. Thanks to our pasts, but hopefully, together, we can help each other.

After walking for about an hour my phone starts to ring.

It's Christian.

Oh gosh.

My heart starts to beat faster.

I click the green button and before I can even say anything, he's talking down the phone.

"Ana! You're here?! How?! Why?!"

"Hey...I uhh… I wanted to surprise you"

"Where are you now? I'll come and meet you"

He sounds happy, excited even.

"I was just heading back to my car"

"You're leaving?" Then his tone changes. He seems disappointed.

Oh, my Christian.

"No…No… I just, I didn't have anywhere else to go" I laugh nervously.

"Oh…I'll get you a spare key for the apartment and you can come and go as you please…"

It goes silent for a moment and I hear mumbles.

He's talking to someone at work.

I stay quiet waiting for him to come back.

"Listen, I've got the green light to finish early today, I'll be right there okay? Head up to the apartment, I won't be long"

"Okay," My lips curl into a smile. He's coming. He sounds happy. He sounds excited I'm here.

That calms my nerves a little.

I sigh with relief once he's hung up and I gaze down at my ring.

I sit outside of his apartment waiting for him. I hear the elevator ping and he rushes to me.

His smile wide and bright.

He cups my cheek as his other hand moves to my waist.

"I can't believe you're here"

"I missed you…"

"I missed you too"

He dips down kissing me lovingly, passionately, tenderly. My hands move through his hair and around his shoulders as his hand fumbles behind me in an attempt to put the key in the lock without stopping the kiss.

When it fails, I smile against his lips and laughs softly before I break the kiss moving to the side letting him open the door.

He lets me walk in first and closes the door behind him.

"It's a little messy, sorry…If I knew you were coming, I'd have cleaned"

My eyes gaze around. It is a little messy, but I don't care.

He starts to move around the apartment picking up bits of trash, but I move to him taking his hand.

"Don't worry about that…"

He looks down at me, he puts down the bottles and we stand there for a moment before his arms move around me comfortingly.

My arms move around his waist and we hold each other close. So close I can barely breathe but I don't care.

I need this.

We both need this.

"I'm so glad you're here"

"Me too…"

He gently lifts my head up and kisses me again.

This is everything we both needed.

He smiles against my lips as his hands trail down my sides, down to my thighs and he lifts me up around his waist making me laugh.

He's been working out. I slowly start to push his blazer off his shoulders letting it fall to the floor before moving to his tie as he starts his kisses at my neck.

We should talk, we should, but right now. We both need each other, we need the intimacy, we need the love, we need the reassurance.

He drops me onto his bed and my dress rises up to my upper thigh. I bounce lightly when I hit the mattress making me laugh.

"Fuck, I've missed that laugh"

He pulls his shirt off before climbing over me and kisses me deeply, needlessly, lovingly.

He moves to kneel at the bottom of the bed and starts his kisses from my ankle all the way up my thighs.

He gazes up at me as if asking for permission and I run my hand through his hair giving the smallest of nods. He slowly pulls my panties down and he takes no time in dipping his head between my legs running his tongue along my hot center.

I grip his hair a little as my body writhes from his amazing mouth. I whimper softly, my head throwing back in pleasure as my eyes close with the pressure building in my body.

My hand moves from his hair and digs into the sheets at my sides as I try to remain still and calm but I fail.

I bite my lip in an attempt to stifle my moans but the more the pressure builds, the more it tries to escape.

"Let me hear you Ana…don't hold back baby"

He whispers, his hot breath against my core sending shivers through my body.

My breath hitches and my body starts to shake as his tongue implores me and I reach my climax. I moan his name clutching the sheets so tightly it makes my knuckles go white.

This man will be the death of me. He pops his head up grinning before kissing his way up my torso pushing my dress up as his kisses go higher in an attempt to calm my body, but little does he know, it makes my body want him more.

He leans down kissing my lips softly, tasting myself and him.

He kneels up and starts to undo his suit pants, but I lean up moving my hands over his, gazing up at him.

"Let me…" He bites his lips slightly, it's so hot.

My trembling fingers undo his pants and push them and his boxers down leaving him hard and naked in front of me.

His hands move to the bottom of my dress and lifts it over my head.

He reaches over to his bedside table and pulls out a condom, ripping it with his teeth.

Gosh, that does things to me.

I take it from wanting to roll it on myself and he smiles.

"I love you" He whispers against my lips.

"I love you too" I reply as he slowly sinks his length into me.

Our bodies moving in unison, moving together, our souls and bodies tied and molding together as one.

Our sweaty climaxed bodies hold each other in bed, gently caressing and stroking each other in an attempt to calm each other's bodies.

I rest my head onto his chest as his hand caresses through my hair.

He holds me close as I gently make patterns along his chest.

We stay quiet for a long time, our eyes closed, enjoying the moment.

Enjoying being together.

"I'm sorry about New York…" I finally break the silence with a whisper,"I was thinking of myself, and it's not just me anymore, I was selfish and you were right, the distance would never have worked, I've missed you the last few days and I'll choose you over a job any day" I watch his lips curl into a small caring smile, "…and about Jack… I honestly didn't know he was coming that night"

He gently strokes my waist, soft and lovingly.

"I'm sorry too…I should have called, but I was worried I'd say the wrong thing and I didn't want us to argue again" He kisses the top of my head and I move to lean up on my elbow to gaze at him smiling softly.

"How come you didn't stay at my office earlier? Andrea said you had to leave?"

Oh, great.

"I saw you with someone and I don't know…I guess…I got a little jealous and worried. Everyone in that place were perfect people. I'm not perfect"

"I don't want perfect, I want you….never be worried about another woman Ana, It's only ever going to be you"

"And it'll only ever be you…" I place a gentle kiss to his shoulder and he holds me closer as he takes a deep breath.

"Another reason I haven't called is that I didn't know how to tell you, or how to bring it up… that woman you saw me with is a friend of my fathers… My Dad is away on a case and she came here for a meeting because Elena has asked me to go and visit her"

"What?!" My eyes go wide.

What the hell?!

"Yeah, I know…I got worried too and I needed some professional advice. With my Dad being on a case in Florida he couldn't give his full attention but he sent someone he trusts to help me out until he gets home, her name is Jenny. I just didn't know how to tell you and I didn't want you to worry"

"You know I'm always here for you…not matter what the problem is" He nods sadly, "Are you going to go and see her?"

He shakes his head and my body fills with relief.

"No… I never want to see her again, I have you now… you're all I need" I cuddle back against him and he kisses my head. I place a gentle soothing kiss over his heart as he holds me closer.

"I do have some news too…maybe it might cheer you up a little" I smile a little.

"You've already cheered me up by being here" He smiles but he raises his eyebrows curiously at my news making me giggle.

"I have an interview with SIP tomorrow, I thought by coming here today I could surprise you, have my interview and spend time together just the two of us before we head back for graduation"

"What? You're serious?!"

"Mhm….the application submission had closed, but I emailed them anyway and hoped for the best. I received an email on Monday saying they were impressed with my resume and that if I could make it to Seattle for an interview tomorrow then they would schedule me in"

His eyes and his smile go bright and excited.

Oh, my Christian.

"Ana this is amazing!"

"Don't get too excited, I haven't got an offer yet" I laugh smiling.

"They'd be stupid not to take you" He lifts my chin smiling and kisses me gently, "This is definitely some good news".

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	33. Chapter 33

Chapter 33…

I walk Jenny to the door saying our goodbyes after the hour-long meeting talk of Elena.

Still couldn't believe she had the audacity to even ask me to visit her. What did she expect? Me to go running to her?

Not a chance.

Not this time.

I have Ana now, that's all I need.

That's if Ana still wants me.

I was so devastated and annoyed hearing about New York and Jack. More so about Jack, because I know New York would be an amazing opportunity for her, but devastated because I know for a fact we'd never see each other.

Jack, on the other hand, is a dick. He's after Ana and I know it.

Every night I sat there looking at my phone wanting and needing to call her but always decided against it. I know it's wrong, but my negative torturous thoughts always talked me out of it.

I should have called her, I know that.

Once Jenny left, I make my way back into my office to grab my wallet and head out for lunch.

I make my way to the elevators.

"Andrea…I'm just heading out for lunch, divert any calls to my voice mail please"

"Oh, Mr. Grey…I have your lunch right here" She puts a large paper bag onto the counter along with a large takeaway cup.

What the fuck?

"What's this?" I open the bag peeking inside.

"Miss Steele left it for you"

"What? How…"

"I thought you knew she was coming? She brought you lunch but had to leave not long after…She said to give this to you" She smiles.

Ana's here…. she's actually here.

I don't know whether to feel excited or nervous. Or both.

Fuck.

We haven't spoken properly in a couple of days and I find myself getting nervous.

Shit.

What am I supposed to do?

What am I supposed to say?

I'm excited but what if she's here for the wrong reasons?

What if she's here to end it. What if she's met someone else.

No…she wouldn't. Not Ana.

I wonder why she left before she saw me.

"Thank you Andrea…"

I pull out my phone quickly dialing her number.

"Ana! You're here?! How?! Why?!"

"Hey..I uhh… I wanted to surprise you"

"Where are you now? I'll come and meet you"

"I was just heading back to my car"

She's leaving? Already? Without even seeing me.

That's not good.

"You're leaving?" I try not to sound too disappointed.

"No…No… I just, I didn't have anywhere else to go"

Oh….that makes sense. Of course, I forgot to give her a key.

"Oh…I'll get you that spare key for the apartment and you can come and go as you please…"

I turn to Andrea smiling and she's already got her eyebrow raised knowingly.

"I'll send all your calls to voicemail, rearrange your schedule…You've already done too much over time anyway, I got this, Go and enjoy your day Mr Grey" She grins.

Wow, I have a great receptionist.

"Thank you, Andrea, I really appreciate it"

I go back to my conversation with Ana feeling a little lighter.

I can spend the day with her, treat her to dinner.

I wonder why she's here.

"Listen, I've got the green light to finish early today, I'll be right there okay? Head up to the apartment, I won't be long"

"Okay" She replies and I can hear the smile on her lips.

I can't wait to see her. I hope she's staying.

I rush to the apartment, triple press the elevator buttons in the hope it would move faster, but it doesn't. The 30 seconds it takes to get to my floor feels like hours. The whole time I spend worrying about the fact the apartment is a mess, I haven't been 100 percent myself and I haven't been motivated to do anything except for work. Between Jack, New York, and Elena, I've stayed at work pretty much all day every day not wanting to be alone with my thoughts. Not wanting to be consumed by my anger and negative thoughts.

It's so fucking messy in there though. Shit.

I hope she doesn't care.

The doors finally open, she's sitting there playing her fingers against each other, twirling her engagement ring making it glisten in the light and when I see her, my heart skips a beat.

I can't believe she's here.

I rush towards her and she stands smiling ready to greet me.

"I can't believe you're here"

"I missed you…"

"I missed you too"

I lean down kissing her needily, hungrily. Fuck I've missed her.

The way her arms snake around my neck. The way her body presses against mine.

I need her, but not right here in the corridor.

I pull the key out of my pocket and not wanting to remove my lips from hers I attempt to open the door without looking but I'm epically failing.

She laughs against my lips moving to the side, but she stays close.

She's missed me too, I hope.

We make love. I love having sex with Ana. It's my new favorite thing to do.

We lay there, letting our bodies calm. Her head resting on my chest, drawing patterns and my own hand at her waist, her arm, anywhere I can. I keep my gaze on her.

Her newly sex state laying against me, her breathing slowly calming.

I smile more watching her, simply enjoying the fact I have her close. She's here and that's all that matters.

There's silence between us, but it's a comfortable silence.

Then she starts to talk… My heart starts to beat a little faster.

"I'm sorry about New York…I was thinking of myself, and it's not just me anymore, I was selfish and you were right, the distance would never have worked, I've missed you the last few days and I'll choose you over a job any day…and about Jack… I honestly didn't know he was coming that night"

"I'm sorry too…I should have called, but I was worried I'd say the wrong thing and I didn't want us to argue again" I kiss the top of her head and she moves to lean up on her elbow to gaze up at me smiling softly.

Fuck her smile. I reach forwards gently pushing her stray curl behind her ear.

"How come you didn't stay at my office earlier? Andrea said you had to leave?"

"I saw you with someone and I don't know…I guess…I got a little jealous and worried. Everyone in that place were perfect people. I'm not perfect"

She was jealous?

Seriously?

I actually can't believe that. How could she think I could ever be with someone other than her now.

But I guess she could say the same as me with Jack.

"I don't want perfect, I want you….never be worried about another woman Ana, It's only ever going to be you"

"And it'll only ever be you…"

I kiss her again softly. I have to tell her, the thoughts of Elena plaguing my mind. If she finds out off someone else she'll be so pissed with me. I take a deep breath. I have to tell her who that woman she saw me with is.

"Another reason I haven't called is because I didn't know how to tell you, or how to bring it up… that woman you saw me with is a friend of my fathers… My Dad is away on a case and she came here for a meeting because Elena has asked me to go and visit her"

"What?!" I watch as her eyes go wide.

"Yeah, I know…I got worried too and I needed some professional advice. With my Dad being on a case in Florida he couldn't give his full attention but he sent someone he trusts to help me out until he gets home, her name is Jenny. I just didn't know how to tell you and I didn't want you to worry"

"You know I'm always here for you…not matter what the problem is….Are you going to go and see her?"

I see her visibly relaxed when I shake my head and reply "No… I never want to see her again, I have you now… you're all I need"

She kisses my chest, right over my heart and it sends shivers throughout my whole body. It feels good, I want more of it. I want more of her. I'll never get enough. I smile and I hold her back against my body as I kiss the top of her head as she cuddles her body back into mine.

"I do have some news too…maybe it might cheer you up a little"

"You've already cheered me up by being here"

"I have an interview with SIP tomorrow, I thought by coming here today I could surprise you, have my interview and spend time together just the two of us before we head back for graduation"

"What? You're serious?!"

"Mhm….the application submission had closed, but I emailed them anyway and hoped for the best. I received an email on Monday saying they were impressed with my resume and that if I could make it to Seattle for an interview tomorrow then they would schedule me in"

"Ana, this is amazing!"

The next morning, I stir waking softly. Her hair splayed across my chest. Her leg raised to my waist and her body curled into me.

I'm boiling fucking hot but I don't want to move her. I can't.

She looks so fucking beautiful and she's all mine. I smile sleepily gazing down at her.

I still can't believe she's here.

I look to the alarm clock on the side of my bed.

7.45.

Her interview isn't until 10.30 so maybe we could take a bath? Or a shower.

Then I'll treat her to breakfast at our usual place.

I wonder if I should tell her about my recommendation to SIP?

Once I found out my company were looking into buying the company, I figured that could be an opportunity for me to put Ana's name forward. After a meeting with Jerry Roach, we were on the same page and luckily, he agreed that when or if any applications came through by the name of Anastasia Steele, then he would give her a chance.

She could definitely do it alone, I have no doubt about that, but I needed a way to make sure she came to Seattle and not New York.

Now she can shine bright and show them how amazing she is, with or without my recommendation right?

I hope it was the right thing to do.

I don't want to sound selfish, I want her here, but I did it for the both of us, I did it for our future.

My company will take over SIP in the next few weeks and knowing their staff are half as good as what Ana is, then I think it'll be a great deal to invest in.

She starts to stir against my body, she nuzzles a little further into my neck smiling and I gently run my hand through her hair.

"Good Morning" I lean down whispering against her ear.

"Mmmm…Morning"

I chuckle at her sleepy state.

"You're still not a morning person huh"

"Nope…" She smirks pressing kisses along my jaw.

I take the hint and I tilt my head down kissing her deeply, playing my tongue against hers teasingly.

"You gotta get ready…I'm taking you for breakfast then you have your interview" I grin against her lips whispering.

"Oh my Gosh! SIP!"

She scrambles off the bed and rushes around starting to get ready.

We shower together, we get ready together and we make our way to our usual little cafe.

We have the same things we always do, black coffee, tea, blueberry muffin, lemon drizzle… It's perfect.

She's quiet though.

Too quiet.

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah…I'm just really nervous"

She smiles a small smile.

I reach across the table gently taking her hand in mine.

"Hey…you're amazing and you're going to ace this I promise… just be your amazing intelligent book loving self and they'll never be able to say no to you" I lift her hand kissing her knuckles and it makes her smile.

Good.

"I love you" She smiles more leaning across and pecks my lips.

"And I love you" I smile against her lips before she's lifting her bag up and clutching a folder close to her chest.

"Okay…I'm going to head off, I'd rather be early so I can familiarise myself"

I nod standing with her and I wrap my arms around her and kisses her gently, "I'm heading to work, just while you're at the interview okay? Once you're done call me and I'll come and pick you up…Good luck baby. You're going to do amazing"

"Thank you, I hope so…" She leans up once more kissing me again before she's off in one direction and I'm off in another.

An hour has passed already and I'm starting to get a little nervous for her.

Fuck, I hope she gets this job. She needs it.

There's a gentle knock at my office door, I look at the time curious.

I don't have anyone scheduled for this time. Weird.

"Come in…"

My smile grows seeing her. She has a big grin on her face and she rushes towards my desk.

I stand and she virtually jumps into my arms.

"Ana" I chuckle holding her against me and I move her to sit on my desk as I stand between her legs.

"Christian…" She smirks. She's happy. She's playful.

"So…how did it go?" I snake my arms around her waist gently stroking her back.

"I think it went well…They said that they have two vacancies and 5 people are interviewing, but they'll contact me on Monday to let me know if I have one of the positions"

"That's amazing, you've got this Ana, I just know it"

"I hope so…I really hope so" She cups my cheek smiling brightly.

I hope so too, I want her here.

I want us.

Forever.

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Another update coming in the next couple of days! Can't believe I hit 50k! Thank you to everyone that's read and reviewed! Stay Tuned for more!


	34. Chapter 34

Chapter 34…

I'm so glad I decided to come to Seattle. Laying here now, In his arms is everything that we both needed.

I was so nervous about seeing him, but it definitely turned out for the best. My interview yesterday went well too and I hope if I get the Internship, then hopefully it will be the start of our future together, officially.

I've woken up this morning with his arm around my waist, his head rested against my stomach and I smile down simply watching him sleep.

He's shirtless giving me full access to watch his muscles move beneath his skin as he breathes soft and slow.

I wonder if he sleeps well when he's here alone. I know I sleep better when I'm with him. I feel more content, more at ease and I love waking up to his kisses. It's the best part of my day.

I'm excited he's coming home for the weekend though, we can all be together as a family again.

Hopefully, we'll get to spend time with our friends too, I miss all of our gang being together.

I'm excited but nervous about graduation but I know with Christian there, he'll give me the confidence I need to walk across the stage.

I look at his alarm clock and it's almost 7.30. We have to leave by 9 so I can make it home in time to get ready and be at college for graduation.

Gosh, just thinking about it makes me anxious.

I continue to watch him sleep for a little while longer, enjoying our embrace, enjoying being in his arms, enjoying just the two of us.

After a little while, I gently stroke my hand through his hair whispering his name in an attempt to wake him.

"Christian…we have to leave soon" I kiss the top of his head and he stirs sleepily.

"5 more minutes…" He mumbles and holds me tighter making me giggle and I feel his lips curl into a smile against the skin on my stomach.

"Someone's not a morning person today" I grin teasingly and continues to play my fingers through his hair.

"I haven't had a peaceful sleep like that since the last time you were here" He smiles sadly before he lifts his head up to look at me.

My heart clenches at his words. He's been the same. He hasn't been sleeping.

"Me too…" I lean down and I kiss him softly.

This makes my mind up 100 percent.

Now Christian has moved here, I've finished college after today and he plans on returning here Monday after spending the weekend at home for my graduation. I'll return with him.

I don't have college to attend anymore. If I don't get the internship with SIP then at least it would be easier for me to find a job in Seattle if I'm actually here in Seattle.

I'll save that conversation for later though.

He kisses me back softly and I smile against his lips as his hand moves to mine lacing our fingers.

"I can't wait for you to move in here, I hope SIP get back to you soon"

"We don't have long to wait, I'll get a call Monday hopefully"

He nods smiling more and kisses me again before we finally emerge from the bed and I scramble around to pack up all my things ready to head off for graduation.

Christian has already taken my case downstairs and to my Dad's car, waiting for me to follow after him once I grab my phone and cable. I move to the door and before I lock it behind me, I take one more glance around.

I feel my lips curl into the brightest of smiles, the memories, the smiles, the laughs. I've only been and stayed here a couple of times but it already holds so many good times.

"I'll be back" I whisper to myself smiling more before I lock the door and I make my way to the elevator making my way down to the ground floor and out to the car.

"Do you have everything?" He smiles and I nod in return.

"Yeah…I think so" I smile at him before looking back up towards the level of the apartment and then back to him.

"Are you sure you don't want me to drive?" He smirks.

"I'm sure, My dad will want his car back plus I'm a good driver….I made it here with only 4 near misses"

His eyes widen teasingly making me laugh.

"Just teasing" I smirk.

"I'm glad you find this funny" He smiles kissing my cheek before we both climb into the car.

I start to drive smiling making our way home.

I'm excited for him to come home honestly. We need to figure out what we'll do when we get there.

Will he go home?

Will I go home?

Will he stay with me?

Will I stay with him?

We have so much to discuss.

I feel his eyes on me as I drive and I smile turning my head.

He's smiling, he looks different somehow.

He seems more mature, older, happier. Definitely happier.

My mind goes back to that first meeting we had when he screamed at me when he almost ran me over with his car.

That angry, annoyed at the world Christian and he's been completely replaced by a happy, loving, caring Christian.

I fell for him then, head over heels, but I find myself falling for him more and more every single day.

"I'm glad you're coming home for the weekend, everyone's excited to see you" I smile looking back at the road.

"Yeah, I can't wait too…I love Seattle, but when you're alone it gets a little lonely sometimes. That's why I love having you here" he smiles softly and he reaches his hand across resting on my thigh as he winds down the window a little.

Gosh, he's such a distraction, but a good distraction.

"Are you going to stay at your parents this weekend?"

"Well… that depends… I want to stay with you, If you want to stay at your Dad's and he's okay with me staying there, then I'll stay there too"

"I have a proposition for you…" I bite my lip slightly.

I hope he's okay with this.

He turns his head looking back at me with a raised eyebrow.

"A proposition?"

"Mhmm… I'd like to stay with my father this weekend, he's done so much for me and I hate leaving him on his own… so I'd like to stay with him this last weekend if that's okay?"

"Last weekend?" He looks at me curiously, but I can tell there's hope in his eyes and hope in his posture as his hand moves a little tighter at my thigh in anticipation.

"If you want me to after today is over with, I'll be free from college… so… I'll be free to come to Seattle"

"When you say come to Seattle…? do you mean…?"

I giggle softly and I nod moving my hand on top of his on my thigh and I squeeze it gently.

"Move in with you Christian… The start of us, if that's what you want. I'll come home with you on Monday"

"Seriously? You mean it?! Fuck! This is great!" His lips have turned into the widest grin I have ever seen and he leans over kissing my head.

"Is that okay?" I laugh teasingly at his reaction. He's happy. He needs this. I need this.

"Is it okay? Ana this is the best news I've had, I can't wait to wake up next to you every day"

My smile grows and my heart melts.

I can't wait either, It's going to be simply perfect.

When we arrive we head to Christian's first and he's completely bombarded by hugs from his Mom and Mia.

"You made it!" Mia squeals hugging him tightly with curlers in her hair getting ready for graduation and Kate stood by Elliot with hers in curlers too.

"I wouldn't miss it for the world" Christian smiles hugging her and his Mom back.

"Ana's got him wrapped around her finger, of course, he's here" Elliot smirks teasing and we all laugh.

"She can wrap me around her finger any day" He grins pulling me closer moving his arm around my waist causing me to laugh and blush.

I notice his Mom look over with bright proud eyes.

"Look at you all…all 3 of you, all grown up, I can't believe it" She looks between Christian, Mia, and Elliot.

Christian's Dad moves to her side smiling, mimicking the stance Christian and I have. I hope we'll be as happy as they are.

"I want a picture of all of us later, with your gown on Mia, you too Ana and Kate" She smiles at me and I nod, "Are you and Ana staying tonight?" She looks between me and Christian and I suddenly feel guilty. Of course, she wants him here just as much as My Dad will want me there. I bite my lip.

"Actually Mom…Ana and I are…."

I gently squeeze his shoulder smiling as I interrupt him, "We've decided that I'll be moving to Seattle with Christian on Monday…so we thought we could share the company and spend a night here then two nights at my Dads If that's okay?".

"You're moving in together? Oh, my goodness…this is wonderful news my darlings. Of course, it's okay for you to stay"

He looks down at me surprised, I nod at him smiling and he kisses my forehead in agreement.

"YOU'RE MOVING TO SEATTLE?!" Kate and Mia both squeal loudly.

"What about girls night?" Mia pouts teasingly, "It won't be the same"

We all laugh, "You can come and visit any time Mia, you know that, all of you" Christian smiles around everyone in the room.

"We can all go out at the weekends! I bet Seattle has an amazing nightlife!" Kate grins.

"That would be amazing! We should do that soon" I smile more getting a little excited about everything.

After a little while, Mia and Kate head upstairs to finish getting ready and we say our goodbyes to Grace and Carrick. They hug us both and Carrick smiles at Christian, resting his hand on his shoulder in such a father and son manner, "I'm so proud of you son" was all it took for Grace to fill up with tears. After our 'goodbye's' and 'see you later's' we climb back into the car and they watch us drive away.

10 minutes later we pull up outside of my house and my Dad is already on the porch smiling brightly when he sees us.

He hugs me tightly and I hand him back his car keys.

"Christian! Son…It's nice to see you again"

"Likewise Ray" Christian smiles and we follow Dad inside.

While I'm getting ready upstairs, Christian and Dad are downstairs bonding over cars, Christians new job and the fact I'm moving to Seattle on Monday.

They'll talk about me 100 percent and I wish I could be a fly on the wall listening to them, but I'm just so so glad they get along.

I hate the thought of leaving Dad here all alone, but all birds have to fly the nest at some point and I just know this is my time.

Finally, I'm ready and I make my way downstairs. My graduation gown covering a simple but elegant white laced dress underneath, matched with my strappy black elegant heels and my cap in hand as I walk into the room.

My Dad stands tall and proud when he sees me and Christian's eyes widen.

I blush softly but smiles as I brush my hair behind my ear.

"I'm so proud of you Annie…I'm honored to celebrate this day with you" He hugs me tightly and I swear I see a tear roll down his cheek.

Oh, Dad.

"I Love You Dad, I always will" I hug him a little tighter smiling as I gaze over a Christian over his shoulder.

"Let's get you graduated" Dad smiles proudly and walks out to the car, Christian taking my hand. I let them both sit in the front as I gaze out of the window in the back seats, occasionally gazing at the two most important people in my life.

My heart feels full and overwhelmed.

I have my whole life ahead of me thanks to these two amazing and wonderful men in my life. I don't know what I'd do without either of them.

"Will you guys be staying at the house this weekend?" Dad asks as he drives.

"Yeah we'll stay with you for two nights and then stay with Christian's parents for a night before we head back to Seattle"

"I'm so happy for you both, I really am"

"I hate leaving you"

"Hey, I've been lucky enough to watch you grow into an amazing and wonderful woman. Now it's Christian's turn to take you to the next step of your journey sweetheart, I have trust in you both and I think you're going to have an amazing future together"

My eyes start to fill with tears.

"Thank you, Ray, that means a lot" Christian smiles answering for me when he sees me getting upset and reaches his hand back for mine which I willingly take.

We soon arrive at college.

It's already so busy, so many students and parents and guardians and various members of families.

I take Christian's hand as we make our way inside and he gently squeezes my hand. My Dad walking beside us.

"Are you okay?" Christian whispers.

I nod slightly, "I'm a little nervous".

"You got this" He whispers smiling and kisses my head reassuringly.

We find Christian's family after greetings are exchanged, My Dad and Christian's parents head off to grab some waters before they find seats saving one for Christian too.

Knowing Christian, My Dad, Christian's parents, and family are in the crowd I know I can do this. I just feel so sick and anxious right now.

As we make our way into the hall, I feel my stomach churn. I grip Christian's hand tightly as my eyes widen.

"What's wrong?" Christian notices me tense beside him.

She's seen me.

Oh gosh. My body starts to tremble.

Christian moves slightly and looks past my trail of sight, seeing her too.

"Ana….Christian…"

"M-Mom? Wh-what…what are you doing here?"

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	35. Chapter 35

Chapter 35…

I felt like the whole world was crashing and exploding in front of me. I wish I could just fade away and explode with it. My lungs burn inside of me with my anxious breathing and my heart thumping inside hitting my chest so hard I fear I would break through my ribs and skin.

It's not from seeing my Mom, it's the worry that he's here, with her.

I fear one sighting of Bob and Christian and My Dad will be at his throat like lions against a gazelle.

I squeeze Christian's hand hard, fear and anxiety coursing through my blood and through my veins.

Why the hell is she here?

How did she even know about this?

"What's wrong?" Christian notices me tense beside him.

She's seen me.

Oh gosh. My body starts to tremble.

Christian moves slightly and looks past my trail of sightseeing her too.

"Ana….Christian…"

"M-Mom? Wh-what…what are you doing here?"

Christian's arm snakes protectively to my waist and holds me against him immediately. His eyes already scanning the area in search of Bob.

Shit.

I'm trembling.

I feel like a vacuum has drawn all the air from my lungs. I hold onto Christian in an attempt to steady myself as I look at her.

"I couldn't miss your graduation sweetheart, I never would have forgiven myself"

I scoff, is she serious right now?

I look at her, my breathing slowly calming but my anger rising.

Come on Ana, be brave, I say to myself as I continue to look at her.

I shake my head letting out a sarcastic laugh.

"Oh…so now you care? Huh, …that's funny. Funny how you haven't cared for years, not even a phone call while I was lying in a hospital bed" Christian strokes my side but I take his hand and attempt to walk away.

"Ana…please…you have to understand…" She grips my elbow to prevent me from leaving and I can see Christian starting to get angsty with her behavior.

Seriously? She had to come here today? To ruin it. Same as always.

I turn to look at her, my eyes narrowing, my brows furrowing.

"Understand what Mom? How you wouldn't be able to forgive yourself if you didn't see me graduate college? Yet you can live with yourself knowing that you've chosen men over me my whole damn life! You've let Bob hurt me multiple times and you have never ever given a fuck! I have never ever been enough for you…..and guess what Mom? I can smell the alcohol on you from here"

Wow, I just said the F word.

Shit.

Christian's eyes widen he hears my voice raising with the curse word too.

Thank goodness everyone's moved into the main hall and there's barely anyone around.

"Ana, I promise you I just had a couple to calm my nerves for the flight, that's not a crime a lot of people do it"

"Oh and Did dear old Bob encourage those drinks? Where is he anyway huh? At the bar? Downing a litre bottle outside on the sidewalk?"

"I think maybe you should go, Carla…" Christian says through gritted teeth and I know deep inside his own anger and anxiety is rising. He's come so far with controlling it and I'm so proud of him, I'm not letting her ruin this.

But I'm his trigger, if anything happened to me he will let fury on this world and no one would stop him.

I need to get us both out of this situation as soon as possible.

"Bob isn't with me and I'm not leaving…I want to see you walk that stage Ana" Tears start to fill her eyes. Is she serious right now?

I watch her, her eyes look down ashamed.

With her head dipped she sees my ring glistening and I lace my fingers with Christian's.

"You're….You're engaged?" She looks up actually smiling.

I'm so confused.

"Yeah…we are" I look up to Christian and he gazes down at me. He gently squeezes my hand.

He's my rock. He's making me confident.

He's making me stronger.

I can do this because of him.

"I'm so happy for you sweetheart…I really really am" She moves her hand to my arm in an attempt of comfort, "Look, I got a flight in this morning and my flight home is this evening, I honestly only came here to be proud of you Ana and to say I'm sorry for everything…. I really do want to watch you walk across that stage, I know I've fucked up but please, let me just be here today and I'll be gone tonight"

My heart and stomach churn.

My head is telling me to make her leave but my heart is telling me to let her stay, forgive her, she's my Mom and despite everything, I still love her, I do.

Arggghhhh what am I supposed to do?

They both await my answer but I end up nodding slowly agreeing to let her stay.

I can't be like her, I can't. I love her despite everything and it's just a couple of hours.

Her eyes brighten and her lips grow into a smile, she goes to hug me but I step back a little.

That's too soon, I'm nervous and emotional enough already and I don't want to make things even worse.

"Come, I'll take you to your seat" Christian gestures to the main hall as everyone else starts taking their seats. I nod at him gratefully.

"Goodluck Annie, I love you," She says and I look at her giving her a small nod in reply before she makes her way to a seat in the back.

"I'm so proud of you" Christian kisses the top of my head and I let out the biggest sigh I didn't even realize I was holding in.

I rest my forehead against his chest closing my eyes.

"Did I do the right thing?"

"I think you did the right thing for you" He smiles reassuringly before gently lifting my chin up and presses his lips to mine softly in a small caring peck of a kiss, "I'm going to grab my seat but I'll be right here when it's over okay? I'm so proud of you…. I love you"

"I love you too" I reply, my nerves slowly melting away as he kisses me again before he makes his way back to our family.

My family. I watch him for a moment as he takes his seat next to Elliot and my Dad.

I look to the back of my room and she's still sat there. I watch her sadly. I just wish she made more of an effort.

I wish I was enough for her.

I'm just lucky to be enough for Christian.

I move into the line taking my seat next to Mia as the ceremony starts.

Mia's so excited and confident It's wonderful to see someone so full of life and energy. Kate is on stage making her speech as student body president. Her speech is amazing and positive and gives us all a hint of confidence to go on with the future.

I reminisce the day she took me under her wing my very first day here.

The rest of the speeches seem to go on forever and finally, they start calling names, making a line we head up the steps across the stage, taking our papers, shaking hands and then walking back down to our seats.

It wasn't so bad.

I can't believe College is officially over and once I walk out of this place today, I'll be taking the next step into my future.

Everyone throws their caps in the air laughing and giggling, selfies and videos being taken constantly and we all make our way to our families ready for the after Graduation gathering.

I rush over to Christian and he lifts me up spinning me around making me giggle.

"I did it!"

"Now you're all mine" He grins hiding his face into my neck as I wrap my arms around his shoulders as he holds me close.

"You're stuck with me" I smirk teasing.

"Good" He whispers placing a kiss against my neck making me giggle.

"Annie! I'm so proud of you!" My Dad comes over and I move to hug him tightly.

"Thanks, Dad, I can't believe it's all over"

He hugs me back just as tightly.

I wonder if he knows Mom is here.

Christian's Mom and Dad make their way over to congratulate me too and we all stand there talking together, Christian's hand in mine as I gently stroke my thumb against his knuckles smiling.

As I look around the circle, I notice my Mom standing there, across the room, she smiles at me.

Something pangs in my heart and I sigh. I put my glass down onto the table next to us and I lean up kissing Christian's cheek whispering.

"I'll be right back"

He nods before noticing my Mom too, "Do you want me to come?"

"I'll be okay…I won't be long" I smile softly before taking a deep breath and makes my way across the room towards her.

"Ana…I'm so happy and proud of you sweetheart"

"Thanks…."

"I'm heading off soon, my taxi will be here in 5 minutes…I just…" She struggles to find her words.

I watch her, I watch her fumble with her hands, her words, she fidgets nervously.

"I've made a lot of mistakes in my time, but you…you are the proudest moment of my life, I just wanted you to know that. I know I messed up and I keep messing up and I'm sorry".

Tears fill my eyes.

She's said this kind of stuff before, and every time I believe her and every time I get heartbroken.

I want to believe her, but I don't know if I should.

I have my family now, but she's my Mom and no matter what she does, or what she says, I will always love her.

I just hope I'm doing the right thing.

I take a step towards her and I hug her softly. She's a little surprised when I do but her arms move around me and she holds me close.

I hear her sniffle and that makes me a little surprised too.

"I love you Annie" She whispers pulling back and she cups my cheeks kissing my forehead.

"I love you too Mom"

She smiles gazing into my eyes and it's the first time I've ever seen the love and proudness in her eyes. She looks past me for a brief second and then looks back, something making her laugh softly and she gently wipes her tears away.

"He really truly loves you, Ana… you've found everything I couldn't….You have such an amazing future ahead of you, don't let that go…Okay?" She says smiling but there's a seriousness in her voice. I turn to look curiously at where her gaze came from and I see Christian gazing over at us.

He's so protective, but I like it. I like the way he makes me feel safe.

"I will"

"That's my girl…" She kisses my forehead once more, "I'd better get going…my flight is soon… thank you for allowing me to stay, it means the world to me".

"Christian and I are moving in together on Monday and I'll hopefully be getting a job in Seattle… maybe…one day…you could come and visit?"

"I'd like that…"

"If you can promise not to bring Bob along, I'll let you know the wedding details too when we have time to plan that"

The tears start to fill her eyes again and she nods pulling me into another tight hug.

"I'll see you soon sweetheart" She wipes her tears and makes her leave.

And with that, she's out of the door and gone. I don't think Dad saw her, which honestly? I'm glad of.

Once she's gone the biggest amount of air leaves my lungs in the biggest of sighs. I keep looking to the door before I feel an arm move around my waist turning me to face them.

"You okay?" He kisses the top of my head.

I take the opportunity to wrap my arms around his waist and hides my face into his chest nodding slightly.

I hope I've done the right thing.

He moves his arms around me just as tightly knowing I'm not really okay.

"My parents want to treat us all to dinner tonight, your Dad too, if you're feeling up to it? We don't have to if you don't want to"

I wipe my tears before I pull back and I look up at him nodding, giving him a small sad smile.

"Yeah…I'd like that"

He nods smiling and gently strokes my cheek.

"You did the right thing, Ana… you're a kind, loving and generous person, even to people who don't deserve it"

And that is all the reassurance I need.

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	36. Chapter 36

*****Possible trigger warning for some…includes death and loss*** **

Chapter 36…

_'My Dearest Annie, _

_I've messed up Ana. I've messed up so so bad that I can't undo any of it now. The scars have gone too deep and I don't see any way out. This may be the last time I get a chance to let out my feelings and tell you how enormously sorry I am for everything. _

_Thing's here haven't been so good as you probably already figured out for yourself, and my mental state has plummeted dramatically. I'm constantly drowning, constantly making the wrong choices. My life is cold and dark and I've never wanted you to witness that. The darkness consumed me, the alcohol making things seem more bearable, but it only made things worse, it only took the edge off for a little while, which is why I continued to drink all day every day._

_I pushed you away and I am sorry, but, I did it for you. In a weird messed up way, I was trying to protect you, but I ended up doing the opposite. I ended up hurting you more, I ended up making you hate me. I've been the worst mother in the world, but it seemed logical to me at the time. I knew Ray could give you everything I couldn't. _

_ I wanted you to be the happy, carefree, loving Ana you were born to be. _

_I've seen the darkness for years now and I will cherish the day Ray took you under his wing. He was amazing for the both of us, he is such a wonderful, kind and protective man but it wasn't enough, nothing or no one can help me Ana and I am sorry. _

_You were the light of my life sweetheart and I truly mean that._

_When I found out I was pregnant with you I panicked for months, I knew I wouldn't be a good mother, but I at least wanted to try. Your Dad and I, we didn't have much, we didn't know how we would manage or cope but we loved each other and we loved you and we knew we wanted to make it work, just the 3 of us. We wanted you so much._

_ The moment I found out you were growing inside of me, I felt an incredible amount of love, something very rare to me. I loved your real Dad, but not like this, not like the love I felt for you. I know I've never spoken much about him, but when he passed, you were the only thing that kept me going. I've been in this deep, dark and empty hole since he passed and I've always found it hard to speak of him ever since. _

_The day you were born I cried and I cried for hours simply watching you in my arms as you wriggled around trying to get comfy. I cried because I never thought I could feel love like I had always dreamed of. But I did Ana, I did with you. You were my light and my sunshine. You always will be. _

_I know I haven't been around much, but I can promise you, it was my way of protecting you from me. _

_I have watched and witnessed you grow into a beautiful, loving, intelligent woman and I am so so proud of you, my darling Annie, I have always been so proud of you. _

_I know you probably think that I never cared, that I couldn't love you. But you are the only thing I've loved enough that has kept me alive for 39 years. _

_Please, none of this was ever your fault, I know how you think, I know you well enough to know you think you weren't enough, but you were Ana, you were enough and so much more. You kept me going. Just please, don't blame yourself, you've done nothing wrong. _

_I am so sorry for making you feel the way I have, for letting people treat you awfully because I've been too afraid. I'm a coward and I know that, and now is my time to communicate that._

_Now, You're moving away, getting your dream job, getting married. You're going to make an amazing family for yourself and one day you're going to be an incredible mother. You have it all sweetheart, you are truly amazing. I envy you. You have everything I ever dreamed of. I just hope one day you'll have your own little girl or boy to be able to feel the amount of love a child can give you._

_Christian is a wonderful man too, he reminds me a lot like your father actually. Handsome, protective, loving. Don't ever let him go, promise me okay? You keep him around, you make it work. _

_Thank you for allowing me to come and stay at your graduation, that truly meant the world to me. Apart from the day you were born, that was the proudest day for me. _

_To see my daughter, the beautiful, young and intelligent woman walking across the stage, graduating college with a big bright and wonderful future ahead of her. _

_I am so proud of you darling, I hope you will one day believe that. _

_Your father would be so proud of you too. If he was here, he would have loved you unconditionally. He loved you from the moment I told him we were pregnant with you. _

_But now, the time has come to be reunited with him. _

_Just remember my darling beautiful baby girl, we loved you, we loved you so so much. _

_I loved you so much. _

_I'm sorry this letter has become so long, I've been sat here for hours pondering on what to write to you, then all of a sudden everything was just flowing and I realized how much I had to actually apologize for. _

_Until we meet again my darling Annie, _

_I love you. _

_Mom x '_

I have no idea what I'm supposed to do.

She's been laying here crying for 2 days now. Laying on her side, clutching the letter against her chest.

She must have read it over and over and over about 100 times now.

She won't eat, she's barely sleeping, she's barely moving from the bed. I keep climbing into bed with her, holding her, trying to comfort her, but the atmosphere is silent. She barely talks and even when she does, she starts to cry again.

My heart is breaking not knowing what I'm supposed to do.

I've taken the time off work and I've stayed home with her. There's no way I could leave her alone like this.

I'm in shock myself. I never would have guessed Carla could do that, I figured she had issues, yes, but suicide...I would never have known.

I myself, remember contemplating it once. I remember staring at my reflection in the bathroom at Mom's house. I remember the razor in sight. But then I remember Ana coming into my mind and she saved me, I wanted to be better for her, I wanted to make her mine. She made me strong.

But, for Carla, her love was gone. After reading the letter, it seems like she loved Ana's father so much, when he died, she couldn't live without him. But honestly? I can kind of sympathize with her. I think without Ana, I could have done the same thing that day. My life and love is here, she's helping me every single day. She loves me every single day.

Carla losing Ana's father probably sent her into a depression she's never recovered from and although Ana has kept her alive, she's never found another man to love in the same way, which would explain why she's gone from man to man, husband to husband.

I could never find another woman to love either.

I stand in the doorway watching her, she's laying there, sobbing.

I keep making her food, but she never eats it. I just…I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do.

Monday, we moved to Seattle together. All her stuff was set up and in the apartment by 3 pm.

She was so happy and excited.

Then at 5 pm, Jerry Roach called her. She got the job at SIP and it seemed like everything was falling into place. I took her out to dinner to celebrate.

We woke up on Tuesday morning by both of our phones ringing at the side of the bed.

Her Dad and My Mom.

"Hello?"

"Annie sweetheart…" Ray sighs with relief.

"Dad…what…what's wrong?" Ana puts it on speaker phone.

"Annie, it's your Mom…she….she's gone"

"Gone? What do you mean gone?….. Dad?"

Fuck. Shit. My heart races and clenches for her.

"She's gone Ana…she's passed away" Ray sniffles slightly but coughs in an attempt to cover it.

He loved her, we all know it. This is obviously hard on him too.

Ana goes silent and drops the phone into her lap.

She looks up at me and her eyes fill with tears.

I cup her cheek as Ray calls her name through the phone when she doesn't answer him.

"I'm so sorry Ana….I'm so so sorry," Ray says remorsefully.

"I…I…can't….I can't believe it…she…." Ana climbs off the bed and rushes into the bathroom as she starts to cry.

I rush after her but she locks the door, leaving me sighing softly.

"Hey, Ray…I'll get her to call you back okay? I'm so sorry for your loss Ray"

"Thank you, Christian…I received a letter in the post…there's one for me and one for Ana… It'll explain everything, I don't want to go into details over the phone. I've posted Ana's up to you priority shipping and it will be there tomorrow morning, Tell her I love her and I'm here okay?"

"I will Ray, and we are here for you too"

With that, the call ends and I sit on the bed waiting for Ana to emerge.

When she does her eyes are bright red and puffy with tears.

My heart breaks for her.

I hold my arms open and she walks into them slowly.

I wrap my arms around her and she hides her face into my chest sobbing.

"Wh-What…Why? Why what happened? Why is she gone"

"I'm so sorry Ana…I'm so sorry." I hold her tightly against me comforting her, "Your Dad was sent a letter written to you from your Mom…he says it explains everything".

Since the letter arrived, she's just cried more and more.

Carla loved her, I have no doubt about that now, I just think she continued to search for the love she had with Ana's father but she never found it.

I hope what she wrote is true, I hope one day Ana and I will have our own family.

I also hope I can get her through this.

I hope I can help her.

Grief affects people in different ways, Loss is hard, I know that. I just hope it'll get easier for her.

"I can't believe she's gone…"

"I know baby, I'm so sorry…but I'll always be here for you, I want to help"

"I thought she hated me, I thought….I thought she never wanted me"

"hey…she loved you, in her own ways, she loved you"

"I was so mean to her, I almost didn't let her stay at graduation….what if I didn't? I wish I had done more, maybe I could have helped her…"

"Hey…you allowed her to stay, she came for you, she was proud of you and she said herself, no one could help her, this wasn't your fault…".

She nods at my reply and cuddles back into me, and I hold her.

I'll hold her forever if I have to.

She has so much ahead of her now, her new job, our wedding.

I just know she'll be the strong woman her mother told her she is and will continue to make her proud.

At least now Ana has closure. For so many years she blamed herself, she thought Carla hated her, she thought she didn't care.

But now I see the devastation on Ana's face. Although she rarely saw her Mom, she'll now never see her again.

That has to hit hard.

The days go on and she seems to get a little better each day. She seems to leave the bed more.

I keep talking to her about SIP, about Mia and Kate and Elliot. About the wedding.

She starts to smile a little more, small smiles, but it's something. But no matter what, the letter is always close by.

It's the only thing she's had from her Mom in years and now it's the last.

I just wish I could do more.

She starts at SIP on Monday, I have to go back to work and I just hope it'll start taking the pressure off her thoughts. Jumping into a new and exciting new role will surely keep her mind occupied.

I want to surprise her too, Once everything is official, the goodbyes are said and the funeral is over. I want to invite Mia and Kate here for a girls weekend, I want to help take her mind off all the sadness.

I want to make her laugh and smile again, I know one day she will.

Hopefully, they can start planning the wedding and she can start looking to the future and be the happy, carefree and loving Ana, her mother told her she was born to be.

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I hope people aren't too triggered by this chapter. I know it's sad and emotional and will probably hit deep down with a few people, myself included, but I promise there are happier times to come.

Thanks to all my readers and reviewers and I hope you will all stay tuned for the next update coming in the next couple of days.


	37. Chapter 37

Chapter 37…

1 year later

"Mom…you're here"

She laughs softly cupping my cheek and I lean into her hand embracing her touch, "Of course I'm here sweetheart, it's your big day, I wouldn't miss it for the world".

"I'm so nervous Mom"

She smiles gazing deeply into my eyes and giggles a little more.

"Everyone always is on their big day Ana, I promise you're not alone. You're making the right choice, I have no doubt that Christian is the man for you."

"What if I'm not enough for him? What if he gets bored of me?"

"Bored with you? Sweetheart…that man absolutely adores you, more than you'll ever even know. I see it in his eyes, in his smile. The way he watches you and makes sure you're always safe. He loves you"

I sigh and closes my eyes leaning further into her hand.

"I'm so glad you're here Mom…"

"Me too baby girl, me too"

I smile more as she moves her arms around me in a loving, motherly embrace.

"Come on, let's get you ready… so much to do, so little time" She claps her hands together and I sit in the chair as she curls my hair.

We laugh.

We joke.

We talk.

We laugh more.

"You look absolutely beautiful" She starts to cry and I gently wipe her tears away as I giggle starting to cry myself.

"Don't cry Mom, please…"

"I can't help it, I'm sorry…I just… I'm so proud of you. My baby girl is all grown up. My beautiful intelligent little Annie. Look at you… getting married to the love of your life. You make me so so proud to call you mine".

I cry softly and I hug her tightly.

"I love you, Mom…"

"I love you too" She smiles before heading towards the door. "Come on Ana….It's time" She stands in the doorway holding her hand out for me.

"Come on Ana…."

"Ana!"

"Ana!"

"Ana come on!"

Her voice slowly starts to fade away.

"Ana?"

"Mom? Mom!"

She slowly fades away, her voice leaving, my mind being replaced by Mia's squeals and Kate's determination.

"Ana!"

"Come on Ana! It's time! We have to start getting ready!"

It was just a dream.

A dream.

A dream of Mom.

I startle awake, jolting up in bed. I'm sweating. My breathing is a little rapid.

The anxiety of today spreading dreams through my mind.

Mom… I miss her. I do. I really do wish she was here today, but I know she's in a better place. I know she would be proud of me.

It took weeks for me to smile properly again. It took me weeks to feel anything.

I felt numb for what seemed like forever but with the help of everyone around me and my new amazing job, I started to cope.

I started to smile again.

I started to laugh again.

The best part? I finally stopped blaming myself.

She keeps popping up in my dreams when I'm feeling nervous and anxious or scared, but the dreams are never bad.

They're always the positive and loving side I remember of her. The good times. The good memories.

Christian, was so patient with me. He held me for hours while I cried, made me food when I wouldn't eat, took me out to try and take my mind away from the thoughtful pains.

He helped me get through. I owe him everything.

My job at SIP helped so much too, it is an incredible place and I can't thank Mr Roach enough for giving me the opportunity to work there. I have settled in wonderfully and I can see a bright and happy future there too.

I finally come back to the here and now with the excited squeals of the girls in front of me and Christian's Mom sitting at the bottom of my bed smiling brightly.

Kate and Mia squeal more when I finally come to myself and I smile feeling more awake.

"YOU'RE GETTING MARRIED!" They both wrap their arms around me and we fall back against the bed all of us laughing together.

"I can't believe it" I smile excitedly.

I am truly so excited, but also nervous and anxious too.

I hate attention so I'm dreading walking down the aisle but it'll be worth it when I finally reach Christian at the end.

All of us females stayed in the Four Seasons hotel, with surprise spa treatments for all of us, provided by my amazing fiancé.

I am such a lucky girl.

While we were at the Hotel, the men stayed in our apartment.

After months and months of planning, we agreed to have a small affair, nothing too fancy, nothing too expensive. Just us and our family.

We have a small little set up located at a rooftop terrace with amazingly beautiful views and a function room located in the same building. Perfect and small enough for a maximum of 100 guests and a place to stay for Christian and me before we fly out to our honeymoon early in the morning. We have the honeymoon suite booked and after googling the pictures, I am beyond excited.

I still have absolutely no idea where we are going for the honeymoon, everyone is keeping it completely secret.

I'm totally surprised Kate or Mia haven't slipped up yet.

We start to get ready, Christian's Mom helps with the final finishing touches. She even hired a makeup and hair stylist to come and help. She has been beyond incredible and I can't thank her enough for everything she has done for me.

They start to get ready themselves and I couldn't choose a specific maid of honour, so Mia and Kate are both filling in the role.

They're dressed in beautiful salmon coloured dresses, cut off the shoulders.

Then I move to gaze at my dress bag.

This is it…

It's really happening.

I take a deep breath as I slowly unzip the bag revealing my gown.

I remove it from the bag and everyone gasps as they lay eyes on it.

"Ana…it's beautiful…"

"Wow, Ana….Christian is going to die seeing you in that"

My smile grows as my heart starts to race as time gets closer to the ceremony.

Christian, I truly hope he likes it.

I remove it from the hanger and I start to pull it over my body with the help of Christian's Mom. Mia and Kate pop open the champagne handing me a glass which I willingly take before slipping the dress over my nervous shaking body.

The lace embroidered strapless dress fits slimly around my curves, highlighting my entire body.

I gaze at my reflection in the mirror and I almost don't recognise myself.

The dress is truly beautiful, my makeup is flawless and my hair is simply wonderful.

Tears start to fill my eyes. Happy tears of course.

I still can't believe all of this is happening.

In the next 6 hours, I'm going to become Mrs Grey.

Everything I've ever dreamed of.

Kate and Mia start to take pictures of us before we soon make our way to the rooftop terrace.

Christian's Mom takes my hand smiling as we make our way and she's smiling brightly, "I just want to say thank you Ana for everything you've done for Christian. Being by his side, supporting him, loving him. I had awful worries about him, but since he has met you, he's become the incredible and loving man I knew he could be".

She starts to cry softly and my own eyes fill with tears.

"He's done the exact same for me, Grace… I love him with all of my heart. I want to thank you too, You've been like a second Mom to me and I couldn't have done any of this without you or Christian"

We both start to cry and I quick fan my eyes with my hands making sure my makeup doesn't run.

"Okay….ready?" I nod smiling taking a deep breath as I move behind the doors.

Christian is in there, ready and waiting for me to walk down the aisle to him.

My hands are shaking.

"Wow…Annie…You look amazing" My Dad says in pure surprise from seeing the dress for the very first time. He makes his way over to me ready to walk me down the aisle.

"Dad!" My smile grows and I move to hug him tightly.

"You look absolutely beautiful Annie… I can't believe you're getting married"

"Me neither" I laugh nervously smiling as I take a deep long breath.

The music inside starts to play announcing my arrival.

"Christian hasn't slept all night, he's worried you'd change your mind" He laughs.

"Seriously? although, I didn't sleep much either" I shake my head smiling.

Oh my Christian. So insecure.

"Ready to go?" Dad asks and I smile brightly nodding.

Grace squeezes my hand proudly before she makes her way out of the doors and down the aisle to her seat.

"Goodluck Ana, you look amazing" Kate smiles before walking down first with her bridesmaid bouquet.

"We'll be sister's soon" I giggle at her words as Mia winks smirking before she hugs me and makes her leave after Kate down the aisle.

"I have something for you before we walk…" My Dad pulls out a jewellery box from his pocket and I look curious.

"What's that…?"

"When your mother sent the letters, this came with it…It was addressed to me but it came with a note requesting I give this to you on the day of your wedding…" He smiles sadly.

My fingers start to shake.

Something from my Mom?

I look down at the box and my eyes fill with tears.

Stay strong Ana.

I carefully reach out for it opening the lid and my heart clenches. Inside is a beautiful, dainty and small heart-shaped locket on a necklace chain.

I look up at my Dad and my tears start to fall.

"Oh Ana…don't cry…" He carefully wipes my tears.

"I wish she was here Dad"

"I do too, but she would have been so proud of you…She loved you, Ana"

I nod in reply because that's all I can manage.

I carefully open the locket and inside is a baby picture of me and Mom, she's smiling. She's happy. I'm curled against her chest and I see the love and proudness in her eyes as she's gazing down at me. On the opposite side is a picture of a man. He's younger looking but very handsome. I notice his eyes, his dark hair.

It's my Dad.

My biological Dad.

Mom might not be able to be here in person, but she'll be here in memories and thoughts. I carefully put the necklace around my neck and my Dad moves to help clasp it at the back.

"Ready?" He smiles offering me his arm. I nod in response as my heart races faster and faster.

"Here it goes…." I whisper softly taking my Dad's arm and I swear his eyes are tearing up. I gently stroke his arm comfortingly and he squeezes my hand.

"I love you, Annie"

"I love you Dad"

The doors open and everyone turns looking at me.

The sun is beaming down on us and there's not a cloud in the sky.

It's the most magical and perfect day we could have hoped for.

How people have enormous weddings I will never know, this wedding is small compared to a normal wedding and I am completely hating everyone staring at me.

But I keep my focus, I gently hold my Dad's arm tighter as my lips curl into a smile.

There he is.

This is the day I marry my best friend, the one I laugh with, the one I dream with, the one I make memories with, the one I love.

He hasn't turned to look at me yet he's still facing forward.

The music continues to play as we continue to walk down the aisle. I look around seeing the pristine and beautiful decorations surrounding the terrace.

White and salmon coloured roses surrounding the entire place matching our colour scheme.

The chairs decorated in white satin, highlighted by the salmon roses. It's an absolutely beautiful setup and it's more than I could have ever dreamed of.

Rose petals neatly placed the whole way down the aisle as I make my way to my future husband.

One step closer and I see Christian visibly take a deep breath before he turns to face me. When his eyes finally find mine, his eyes widen, raking up and down my body and then landing back on my eyes. His eyes filled with love and lust, his smile wide and proud.

I watch as he swallows.

He licks his lip slightly as he gives the biggest smile.

It truly makes my heart melt and my Dad carefully takes my hand from his arm and offers it to Christian who takes it eagerly before my Dad moves off to the side, taking a seat.

Christian leans forward kissing the top of my head whispering, "You look beautiful".

It causes me to blush a bright red. It amazes me how he still has this effect on me.

I gently squeeze his hand and he laces our fingers.

"Please everyone take your seats as we begin the binding together of Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele".

I look over my shoulder and everyone takes their seats.

All eyes on us.

My heart continues to race but with the help of holding Christian's hand, it slowly eases my beating heart.

"We are gathered here today to witness the marriage between these two soul mates…do we have the rings?"

Elliot grins standing and walks over as Christian's best man, he holds the rings up and because of his wide grin everyone giggles softly.

He's such an attention lover.

"If you'd like to say your vows…Christian if you could start".

He nods taking a deep breath.

"Ana… You have changed my life and turned it upside down and you have constantly surprised me with the way you've supported every decision I've made. When we first met I was horrible, I was angry, I was dark and I hated the world and everyone in it, but after meeting you, you became my light in the darkness, you made me want to be better… and I've never wanted to lose that light since. I never want to lose you, thank you for everything you've done and continue to do for me. I promise to love and cherish, honour and respect you, protect you and keep you safe and love you unconditionally until the day I die"

He slowly slides the ring onto my finger and my eyes fill with tears.

Don't cry, Don't cry, Don't cry.

"Ana…if you're ready"

I nod slightly as I try to compose myself and Christian spots the tear daring to fall and he laughs softly reaching up gently wiping it away and everyone in their seats 'awww'.

"Christian… I never thought I would find anyone to love me enough to give me the confidence and courage that you have. You have helped me in so many ways. I started to believe the love I read in my novels were a million miles from the truth, but since I've met you, you've shown me that true love exists and soul mates are real. I promise that no matter what happens I will love you forever and always, I will be your faithful partner and stand by your side. I promise to laugh with you, Respect you, share my hopes and dreams with you and bring you solace in times of need. I promise to love and cherish you until the day I die"

I carefully slip the ring onto his finger and he smiles brightly gently squeezing my hand.

"Christian, do you take Anastasia to be your lawfully wedded wife?"

"I do"

"Anastasia, do you take Christian to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

"I do"

"I now pronounce you man and wife….you may kiss the bride"

My smile grows and Christian gently cups my cheek leaning down pressing his lips to mine.

I gently rest my hand at the side of his neck holding him close to me as I kiss him back.

"Mrs Grey" He whispers against my lips smirking making me giggle.

"I don't think I'll ever get used to that" I grin leaning up kissing him again.

Everyone cheers excitedly, standing and clapping at us as we kiss, the first time being man and wife.

Confetti being thrown, camera flashes being snapped and I smile against his lips.

I'm lost in his kiss.

In his touch.

In his embrace.

Our first kiss as man and wife.

It's been perfect.

I pull back and looks out to everyone, laughing nervously as all eyes are on us once again.

He holds me close letting people take the pictures before I grin and turn, I look over my shoulder before turning completely the other way and throwing my bouquet behind me.

I hear a ton of women's screams when I turn to look to find out who's caught it, Kate is standing there laughing nervously as she holds my bouquet in her hands. I see a sly wink exchange between Elliot and Christian and I'm hoping Elliot won't be long popping the question to her.

"Congratulations both, I'm so proud of you" Christian's Mom and Dad make their way over.

"Thanks, Mom…Thanks, Dad"Christian smile leaning down kissing her cheek then she moves hugging me.

"Annie sweetheart! Congratulations! Christian….welcome to the family son!" My Dad smiles brightly.

"Thanks dad!" I giggle hugging him and Christian laughs softly shaking his hand.

"Thanks, Ray".

We make our way down into the function where there's an open bar, a sit down 3-course meal, music and dancing, balloons, decorations.

It's a beautiful small little setup and it's absolutely perfect. The white and salmon delicate theme sticking true throughout the whole place.

The champagne being handed around and Christian and I start to make our way around the room to thank people for coming and make conversation.

"If we could invite the bride and groom to the dancefloor for their first dance"

I blush smiling and Christian looks across the room looking for me as I do the same with him, meeting him halfway onto the dancefloor.

James Bay - Us.

James Bay - Us starts to play and it's magical, it's perfect, my heart swells as I move forward.

I chose this song because it's such a good representation of us, what we've been through, what we've dealt with, but there's always been us. I smile as he offers me his hand and we slowly start to dance together.

Everyone surrounding the dancefloor in a circle watching us, taking picture and recording. I giggle softly as he twirls me and kisses me, sways me and holds me close.

I love this man with the whole of my being and now he's mine and I'm all his. Today has been incredible and I couldn't have asked or wished for anything better.

Surrounded by our family and friends, our loved ones. The most important people in our lives that have always supported us through everything.

"I'm looking forward to staying in the suite tonight" He grins nuzzling against my neck as we sway to the music.

His Mom and Dad move onto the dancefloor joining in the dance after a little while and then Kate and Elliot soon join in too.

"Mm…me too…Apparently, it has a jacuzzi" I grin.

"Oh, the things we could do"He pulls back smirking before he cups my cheek kissing me deeply.

We dance a few more dances together before I move to my Dad wanting to dance with him too.

"I can't believe my little Annie is all grown up and married"

I laugh softly smiling, "I can't believe it either"

"I'm so proud of you"

"Thank you for everything Dad, I can't thank you enough for the amazing things you've done for me…"

"It's been a pleasure, Ana, I promise, I have loved every moment watching you grow up into the incredible woman you've become" He leans forward kissing my forehead.

The day is almost over but it's been absolutely perfect. I don't want it to end.

Not a single thing went wrong.

Everyone laughed, everyone cried, everyone clapped, everyone cheered, everyone danced, everyone loved and most of all, I'm finally Mrs Grey.

"Mrs Grey?"

I hear the name and my lips curl into a smile turning to face my newly made husband.

"That's me…." I grin sipping my champagne.

"Yeah it is…" He grins, "You ready to..uh..head off? I'm tired of sharing you now, I want you all to myself"

I rest my hands on his chest smiling brightly as I lean up kissing him gently, "Yeah, I'm ready…".

We move to say our goodbyes to our parents, everyone else too drunk to even notice our leave.

We make our way to our honeymoon suite, hand in hand as husband and wife.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX


	38. Chapter 38

Chapter 38…

This year has been absolutely fucking crazy. So much has happened but it feels like the year has flown by before our very eyes.

Between getting my own business, Ana's Mom passing, the wedding planning, trying to help Ana get back to her normal, happy and free-loving self, it's been an absolute whirlwind.

But now, 1 year later we finally have come full circle and back to where we need to be.

Plans for the wedding were stressful for Ana but I know Mia, Kate and my Mom helped her tremendously.

She was so down, so low for such a long time, I just wanted to make her smile again.

Every time I saw her planning the wedding she'd have this adorable excited little smile against her lips and honestly? It made me a little giddy every time I saw it because I still can't believe she agreed to marry me.

We did a lot of the stuff together for the wedding, we chose the cake, choosing the color scheme, we went searching for venues and we even chose our rings together. I secretly added an extra little personalization to those too without her knowing.

'Anastasia Grey' carved on the inside of mine.

'Christian Grey' carved on the inside of hers.

The owner of my current business was ready to retire and with no family of his own, Ros put my name forward. I couldn't believe the luck I had that day when he shook my hand and handed it over to me with a signature. He wanted me to have first dibs on the place before he put it on the market. So, After Ana and I talked, we decided there was no way I could give that opportunity up.

So with a promise of good business and a 10 million dollar payment and it was handed over, but honestly? I know for a fact I can make that 10 million back within the next month if not sooner. It's just good business and I'm honored to be thought of in such a high way. I knew I was good at my job but fuck, I never imagined one day being offered the company for myself.

The business is mine now and I'm currently in the process of getting a name change.

'Grey Enterprise'

For me and Ana. Soon to become Mr. and Mrs. Grey.

Ana has been so proud of me. Despite everything she's dealt with, she has still always put me first, she's helped me, she's guided me and she's encouraged and been proud of everything I've done and what I'm still doing. She was so excited when I told her I had been handed the company. She surprised me with dinner and it was the most perfect celebration for just the two of us.

Luckily, Ana still has no idea that the business bought into SIP and I kind of hope that if or when she finds out, it won't matter anymore.

She loves that job and they absolutely adore and love her there. She's a loved and hard-working member of staff and she did that all on her own. She's made so many friends, managed her work incredibly and it's nice to see her somewhere where she enjoys.

But like I said, this year has been a whirlwind, but I wouldn't change it for the world. It's brought us closer, It's made me love her more if that was even possible. Her strength and courage and determination has astounded me and I can't wait to call her my wife.

Now, I'm standing here at the altar waiting for her to arrive.

I'm so fucking nervous. I'm sweating, my hands are shaking, I'm pacing back and forth.

"Chill the fuck out bro, she'll be here" Elliot laughs watching me and I give him a teasing glare.

"What if she doesn't? what if she got cold feet?"

"Son, Elliot's right, she will be here, she loves you"

"How do you know? What if she doesn't?"

"I know because your Mom just text me telling me they're on their way here….so yes she is coming" My dad smirks showing me the messages on his phone and Elliot sniggers laughing.

"That still doesn't mean she'll walk down the aisle, maybe she'll run….I've heard of the movies you know, the runaway bride!"

Elliot bursts into hysterical laughter as does everyone else standing near enough to hear us and I stand there seriously glaring.

Can everyone just fuck off? Fuck. I'm so nervous.

The door opens and I look over to it, I smile nervously seeing Ana's dad.

"Christian….I know my daughter and I know she will be here, she loves you and she will take your last name, don't panic" Ray smiles walking into the room, "Kate just called me, They're here so I'm going to go find her".

My smile grows.

She's here. She's actually here.

I sigh with relief nodding watching Ray move to the back doors and slip out where I know Ana is now standing.

This is it.

I'm still completely shaking.

Although it's a small wedding the seats are still full of family, friends and loved ones and people who care.

It's kind of daunting having the eyes of everyone looking this way and down towards me.

Shit.

I'm so fucking nervous.

The music begins and I start to shake a little more.

I play my hands together in front of me trying to calm my beating heart.

I hear the door open and I hear a pair of heels.

It's my Mom.

She moves behind me putting her hand to my shoulder whispering softly, "She looks absolutely stunning". Then she moves to her seat.

That makes me smile even more. She's fucking beautiful anyway, but today, I know, I'm not going to be able to stop looking at her.

I gulp down thinking of her, her dress.

Everyone knows what happens on the wedding night and honestly? I can't wait.

She'll look amazing in the dress, I already know that, but it's going to look so much better on the suite floor while she's moaning my name.

Fuck.

Fuck, I have to stop these thoughts. I have a long night ahead. I close my eyes looking back forward trying to calm once again.

The doors open again and I hear another pair heels, then another. I'm guessing that's Kate and Mia.

Then it starts, a pair of slow heels. It's strange, I know it's Ana.

It's like I know it's her from the way she walks, is that weird?

I hear people 'awww' and my heart beats even faster.

Fuck, why am I so nervous.

I hear the heels get closer.

And closer.

And closer.

And closer.

Until I can't take it anymore, I turn to look at her.

Fuck.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Wow.

Our eyes meet and I'm almost dribbling I swear.

She is absolutely, completely and utterly beautiful.

The dress is tight against her body showing off every curve.

My dick is twitching and I find myself licking my lips.

She reaches me and Ray gently offers me her hand, which I take willingly.

She's blushing so hard, I'm so glad I still have that effect on her.

"Ana… You have changed my life and turned it upside down and you have constantly surprised me with the way you've supported every decision I've made. When we first met I was horrible, I was angry, I was dark and I hated the world and everyone in it, but after meeting you, you became my light in the darkness, you made me want to be better… and I've never wanted to lose that light since. I never want to lose you, thank you for everything you've done and continue to do for me. I promise to love and cherish, honor and respect you, protect you and keep you safe and love you unconditionally until the day I die"

"Christian… I never thought I would find anyone to love me enough to give me the confidence and courage that you have. You have helped me in so many ways. I started to believe the love I read in my novels were a million miles from the truth, but since I've met you, you've shown me that true love exists and soul mates are real. I promise that no matter what happens I will love you forever and always, I will be your faithful partner and stand by your side. I promise to laugh with you, Respect you, share my hopes and dreams with you and bring you solace in times of need. I promise to love and cherish you until the day I die"

"Christian, do you take Anastasia to be your lawfully wedded wife?"

"I do"

"Anastasia, do you take Christian to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

"I do"

"I now pronounce you man and wife….you may kiss the bride"

It's official now.

She's mine.

How the fuck did I end up so lucky?

How the fuck did a Fucking asshole dickhead like me end up with my own company, A beautiful, loving and intelligent wife and a family who love me?

Almost two years ago I thought about ending it all because I saw no future.

Now, look at me.

Look what I almost threw away.

I gaze into her eyes, her deep blue piercing eyes, enticing, wanting and needing. I'm lost, so lost in the abyss of her stare.

Fuck, I love this girl.

I gently cup her cheek and I can't wait any longer, I lean down kissing her gently and lovingly.

I can't exactly do more right now,

1\. Our family and friends are literally right there watching me.

2.2. If I kiss her any deeper right now I will have a full on hard on, right in front of our family and friends who are literally right there watching me.

She smiles against my lips and I carefully back whispering her new name.

"Mrs grey"

She giggles.

I love that laugh.

Everyone cheers us and surprise surprise Kate caught the bouquet.

I give Elliot the cheekiest grin with a wink and I just know Ana catches me.

I do hope he'll make an honest woman of her one day, I just know he loves her.

Once we head into the function room that's where the fun begins. The champagne is being handed out left, right and center.

Our first dance went swimmingly. Everyone 'Oooo' and 'Awwwed' and took pictures and videos.

I'm so glad we decided to go for the professional photographer because I'm surprisingly excited to see them.

Elliot and Kate are ordering cocktails and shots by the bar. I'll give them until 9 before they are absolutely hammered.

Ana and I do the rounds of the room, but honestly? I'm talking to people and looking straight through them. I can't stop looking at my beautiful bride.

She's talking and laughing, sipping her champagne.

I will never ever get tired of this woman. She is my soul mate and I will love her forever.

I'm so fed up of sharing her with everyone and I'm just ready to take her back and just be the two of us.

I also love how Ana has no idea I'm taking her to Europe for our honeymoon.

It's somewhere she's always wanted to go and what better time to start traveling the world?

First, we land in London, then onto Rome and then Paris.

I hope she likes it.

I'm still surprised Mia hasn't told her yet though.

The night continues on for a little while longer and soon I'm finally done.

Everyone is enjoying dancing and continuing their drinking, but I just want to take my girl back to our room now.

"Mrs. Grey?"

I make my way over to her and she smiles brightly hearing her name.

"That's me…." she says as she sips her champagne.

"Yeah, it is…" I grin, Yes it fucking is and I'm so proud. "You ready to..uh..head off? I'm tired of sharing you now, I want you all to myself"

"Yeah, I'm ready…". her hands move to my chest and she leans up kissing me.

Fuck.

I'm definitely ready to leave.

As soon as we reach the suite and the door is locked her hands are everywhere making me grin.

This girl continues to fucking amaze me

Her hands move to my suit jacket slipping it off my shoulders. Then her perfect delicate fingers go to work at the buttons on my shirt.

Once it's off she turns and gazes at me over her shoulder.

"I have wanted to rip this off of you all night" I grin whispering against her ear.

"I've been wanting you to rip it off me too" She gives me the shyest blush and It sends shivers through my body and straight to my dick.

"Fuck Ana…"

I slowly undo the buttons of her dress, gently caressing her skin with my fingers as the buttons move lower and lower.

She soon steps out of the dress and I'm dribbling again.

She has black lace underneath.

She's been fucking torturing me all night with that damned white dress only for her to be wearing this sexy, amazing, curve-enhancing lace set underneath.

I'm so fucking hard.

"Ana…." Her name barely comes out a whisper as my eyes rake her body.

She slowly snakes her arms around my neck grinning and whispers against my lips, "Make me yours, Mr. Grey"

"Oh…I intend to, Mrs. Grey"

I grin and she leans closer kissing me deeply.

I lift her by her thighs and tosses her onto the bed covered in rose petals causing her to squeal in laughter.

It's fucking adorable.

"Wow, this bed is bouncy" She lays back gazing up at me and I cannot stop staring at her underwear.

She looks fucking amazing.

"The bouncier the better " I grin smirking and takes her lips back with mine.

My hand dips between her thighs and she's already fucking soaking.

She needs me just as much as I need her.

I slowly sink into her, deep and hard.

The way my name rolls off her tongue as she moans.

The way our bodies move together.

The way she's so tight around me. The way her nails slightly scrape against the skin on my back.

The way she screams my name when she comes.

The way our breathing becomes as one.

The way she runs her hand through my hair and tugs softly.

The way she moans and giggles as I gently suck at her neck leaving my mark.

The way we gaze into each other's eyes as we reach our climax together.

It's fucking amazing.

My wife.

Mrs fucking Grey.

Anastasia Grey.

We're both breathless as we lay back against the huge luxury bouncy bed.

We've already had sex 3 times already, twice in the bed and once in the jacuzzi. The jacuzzi was the best.

We were there relaxing our bodies and muscles then one thing lead to another and she ended up straddling me in the water, both of us kissing, fondling, touching and then that was that, we ended up making love in the jacuzzi too.

We cannot get enough of each other.

Now we're both starting to drift to sleep.

She's laying in my arms, our fingers placing against each other and she twirls my ring as she smiles.

"Thank you for everything…It's been an amazing day, husband, it's been everything I ever dreamed of and more"

"Thank you for the perfect day, my wife" I kiss the top of her head smiling more and holds her a little tighter.

I gently trace patterns along the skin of her back as she continues to play and twirl my ring like she's still in amazement that we're married.

"You should get some sleep, we have to leave early tomorrow" I smile moving my hand to gently stroke through her hair.

"Mmm…how early?" She groans teasingly making me laugh.

"6 am…"

"Are you going to tell me where we're going?" She leans up on her elbows and she's beautiful.

I love her sleepy sweaty state after sex, it's my favorite Ana look.

"Nope….You'll find out when we get there"

She scrunches her nose up jokingly but laughs as she leans forward kissing me softly.

"I love you"

"I love you"

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Thankyou to all my followers and reviewers! I hope you'll keep on reading as I still have a lot more story to tell!

Please do keep reviewing too as your comments are willingly taken on board and are very much appreciated.


	39. Chapter 39

Chapter 39…

"London?! we're going to London?"

He laughs softly nodding as we sit in the first class cabin ready for take off. I can't believe he kept it secret for this long!

"London… then Rome….and then Paris"

"You're joking?!"

He shakes his head smirking, "Happy Honeymoon baby" He leans over between us kissing me softly.

I cup his cheek kissing him back lovingly as I smile against his lips.

I can't believe it.

I can't contain my excitement.

Europe?!

I can't believe he did this. I can't believe he planned it all.

This is incredible and I am so unbelievably excited.

And first class too? Although I'm not surprised because of his new status and paycheck.

I am so beyond grateful and excited.

"I love you" I smile against his lips and he does the same.

"I love you more"

"Impossible" I whisper back kissing him again.

_'Welcome aboard our British Airways flight in Seattle today. We will be ready to take off and will be ascending momentarily. We should arrive at our destination, London Heathrow around 8 pm. With the wind on our side today our flight time will be approximately 9 hours and 10 minutes. I hope you enjoy our journey with us today and thank you for travelling with British Airways'_

They begin the safety features and the plane starts to move. The engines roar loudly as it starts to move faster and faster.

I take Christian's hand in mine, I still completely hate flying. The take-off and the landing are definitely the worst parts making my stomach feel as though it's doing somersaults over and over and over again.

The first class booths are set up in such a cosy and adorable little way.

Each booth has two seats in the shape of the Ying and Yang symbol. One next to the window and one next to the aisle. Christian took the window because I hate the idea of being able to see out if something has gone wrong.

But it's a perfect little set up because it means Christian and I are facing each other allowing him to calm me through the journey.

His hand takes mine between the seats and he soothingly runs his thumb across my knuckles making me smile and making my heart melt.

I gaze down at our hands. Our rings shining together, making my lips curl into a bigger smile.

Mrs Grey.

Whoever thought it?

"Once we're in the air they'll start to bring around drinks and things, I pre-ordered our food too, a surprise to start and then steak and garlic potatoes for main…I hope that's okay?" He smiles continue his soothing movements against my knuckles.

He knows my favourites.

"Sounds perfect, you know me too well" I smile gently lacing our fingers.

I watch as he gazes out of the window and I smile simply watching him. He's thinking.

"I was thinking of maybe getting my own private jet so we won't have to ride these big ones any more. I think it would be a good investment especially with all the meetings I have coming up when we return home"

I raise my eyebrows slightly, a little in surprise at the thought of our private jet, but he's right, with all the deals he has coming up it would be ideal.

"I'm so proud of you, you know," I say as I rest back smiling lovingly at him, my eyes full of love and proudness.

He nods in reply and gently squeezes my hand.

It was a strange feeling this morning though, waking up seeing my face on the cover of a magazine. Now Christian is basically a millionaire in Seattle with the biggest company in the city, he's suddenly become like a celebrity and a target of paparazzi.

Hundreds of women swooning over him, but sorry ladies he's mine.

When we woke, almost every tabloid had a picture of us from the wedding on the front of it.

_'NEW BUSINESS BACHELOR CHRISTIAN GREY TIES THE KNOT' _

_'SORRY LADIES, SEATTLE'S NEW BACHELOR IS TAKEN AND THE CITY IS SWOONING OVER THE HAPPY COUPLE'_

Is plastered against every paper.

Which now means we have our own security and I'm struggling to get used to that honestly. Taylor the head of our security is attending the honeymoon with us. He obviously has his own room and areas, but he will be following us around pretty much every day for safety reasons. He's even sat 2 rows of booths behind us on the flight keeping an eye.

He's brought along a trusted colleague named Sawyer too for extra security reasons.

It's just weird to me and it's something that will take a while for me to get used to I guess.

The plane is finally and officially off the ground and the seat belt signal has finally been released.

Christian smiles at me lifting my hand to his lips kissing them softly.

"Champagne?" He smiles and I nod.

"Sounds perfect" I grin.

He calls the attendant over requesting the order he managed to pre-order before boarding the flight.

This man continues to amaze me.

The attendant nods smiling, "May I also congratulate you both Mr and Mrs Grey"

We both nod and my heart swells. I still can't believe it myself.

When she returns we have a bottle of champagne, strawberries, melted chocolate dip and 2 glasses.

"Wow…this is amazing, I didn't know they did this stuff on planes!" I sit up excitedly like a child being given cotton candy.

He chuckles smirking, "Pro's of being a millionaire business man" He winks and it does things to me, sending shivers throughout my body.

He dips a strawberry into the chocolate and then holds it over towards my lips.

I lean forward a little and gazes into his eyes as I take a bite.

He shuffles a little in his chair and I watch his tongue lick against his lips.

It's a shame we don't have a private jet, I hear the mile high club is pretty…intense. Or so I've read in books at least. I wouldn't know personally.

He smirks and once I've taken a bite he leans over kissing me once again. He cups my cheek and moves his kisses towards my ear before whispering, "I'm hoping to distract you for the whole flight baby".

Oh.

My.

I swallow a little as the shivers go straight to my thighs and I shift a little in my seat blushing. I gaze around but most people are already asleep, reading or they have their windows up for privacy.

I look back to Christian whispering back, "Do you plan on joining the mile high club Mr Grey?"

"Oh, baby I plan on doing more than that" He smirks sitting back in his seat dipping his own strawberry taking a bite. His hand moves between the seats and gently strokes up my dress making me gasp a little.

He is such a tease.

He removes his hand to pour two glasses of the champagne.

"To us" He smiles handing me a glass and holds his own up.

I clink mine against his smiling brightly, "To us".

The bottle of champagne is now finished, the strawberries gone and I'm feeling a little tipsy honestly. The Bubbles go straight to my head but it makes me light headed and stress-free. I feel on cloud nine.

We laugh, we smile, we reminisce, we eat, we drink, we cuddle through the duration of the flight.

"I'm gonna head to the bathroom" He kisses the top of my head smiling and I gently move so he can get up. As I move he whispers, "Come and knock on the door in about 30 seconds" He smirks and kisses me.

As he kisses me he takes my bottom lip between his teeth and that's it. I'm done.

I feel the pool between my thighs. The things this man does to me I swear.

I gaze into his eyes once he's pulled away, leaving me needy and wanting. He smirks more with a wink and makes his leave, moving to the bathroom.

I look around the plane, everyone is still either asleep, reading or too engrossed in their movies. I'm worried if I follow him in there people are going to know what's happening. I mean it's obvious, right?

What has happened to me?

I crave him constantly.

The sweet virgin girl 2 years ago has become a needing and wanting wife wanting to have sex with my millionaire husband in the first class bathrooms.

I writhe a little In my seat pondering my thoughts.

Live Ana, my conscience tells me. He's waiting for you. You know you want to.

I do, I really do.

I bite my lip standing and I move to the door gently knocking. The door opens and I'm pulled inside quickly, his lips immediately crashing to mine.

First class bathrooms are luckily quite spacious. I giggle softly moving my arms around his neck kissing him back just as deeply.

We want this, this is us.

I can feel his length already hard and pressing against my stomach.

I'm so turned on already and so is he.

"So, you wanna find out how good the mile high club is?" He smirks and sucks against my neck.

I moan softly closing my eyes and nods in reply because that's all I can manage.

I want this.

"These bathrooms aren't soundproof" he smirks and my eyes widen.

Great. We definitely need a private jet.

His hand trails up my inner thigh and strokes against my panties.

"Fuck Ana…" He grinds against me slightly before moving his lips back to mine kissing me hungrily.

I love the way he kisses me, I'll never tire of them.

"Christian" I moan into his mouth uncontrollably.

"I love the way you moan my name, fuck" He groans and before I know it, my dress is around my waist, his zipper is being pulled and he's deep and hard inside of me.

I hook my one leg up to his waist and it causes him to go deeper, I moan loudly at the sensation before he laughs nuzzling into my neck.

"I love that sound" He smiles against my skin and moves his kisses to my lips. I rest my hands on his shoulder trying to keep myself steady as I pant softly and my body starts to writhe and shake at the feeling.

We kiss hungrily, needing, wanting.

He drowns my moans out with his kisses as he thrusts against me, the pressure building with both of us quickly. It's definitely heightened the pressure being this high up in the air. The pleasure is almost unbearable.

Definitely, sex to remember.

Our breathing becoming more rapid, our moans trying to stay quiet but failing.

"Fuck Ana…I'm close"

"Me...Me too" I whisper as our forehead are pressed together, his thrusts slow as we both climax, coming together.

My legs shaking, my heart pounding. His hands gripping at my waist in an attempt to steady himself too.

That was amazing.

I keep my forehead pressed against his chest as I try to control my breathing.

He smiles and gently lifts my chin with his fingers and kisses me softly.

"I'm trying to decide if the jacuzzi sex or the plane sex is my favourite" He smirks teasingly and I laugh softly nudging him shyly.

"We'd better head back out to our seats, they'll start thinking things"

He laughs softly nodding and kisses me once more as he pulls out of me gently and carefully moves my leg back to the ground.

He leaves first heading back to his seat while I hold back a little longer sorting my dress and hair.

After a small while longer I make my way out taking me seat and Christian is there smirking at me.

I blush enormously but laughs softly biting my lip.

I can't believe we just did that.

Christian is there with his laptop, I'm assuming doing business deals while we fly. It's a perfect opportunity for him before we start our adventures when we land.

I know he was nervous to leave the company after taking it over only recently but he knows it's in good capable hands with Ros as his confidante.

I pull out my book starting to read as I rest back, curling up into my seat smiling as I read through the novel.

The hostess comes around with our meal as promised by Christian, steak and garlic potatoes.

I never knew plane food would taste so good honestly.

We even get the chocolate cake for dessert leaving me grinning and thoroughly enjoying the meal.

Once it's over and our plates have been removed I curl back up and delving straight back into my novel.

"Come and read to me…" He says looking over at me as he closes his laptop moving it into the drawer beneath the seat.

"Hmm?" I look up at him.

He shuffles slightly on his chair, pulling out the luxury duvet, kicking off his shoes and moving to pull up the footstool so his chair turns into a miniature bed.

"Come read to me" He smiles laying back and gestures to the space beside him.

"You want me to read Pride and Prejudice to you?" I raise my eyebrow curiously.

"Mmhm… get your beautiful ass over here and come read to me" He grins making me laugh and I roll my eyes standing and I crawl in beside him.

He moves the blankets around us.

He kisses the top of my head as I rest my cheek against his chest, cuddling into him and holding the book out in front of me.

I begin to read.

_"" Oh! She is the most beautiful creature I ever beheld! But there is one of her sisters sitting down just behind you, who is very pretty, and I dare say very agreeable. Do let me ask my partner to introduce you._

_"Which do you mean?"and turning round he looked for a moment at Elizabeth, till catching her eye, he withdrew his own and coldly said: "She is tolerable, but not handsome enough to tempt me; I am in no humour at present to give consequence to young ladies who are slighted by other men. You had better return to your partner and enjoy her smiles, for you are wasting your time with me."" _

I look up and Christian is gazing down at me with a smile on his face.

"Keep going" He encourages as he cuddles me closer. Our legs entwined under the blankets, he's gently stroking my side as I continue to read.

About 20 minutes later I gaze up at him once more and I giggle quietly.

He's fallen asleep.

He looks so peaceful, so at ease, so calm and happy.

It makes my heart swell.

This is my life now.

Us.

I smile gently closing the book putting it to the side enjoying this moment.

I close my eyes drifting along with him into a peaceful sleep.

Next thing we know, We've officially landed in London.

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	40. Chapter 40

Chapter 40…

"Mr. Grey?"

What is that?

I frown a little feeling an unfamiliar hand at my shoulder.

Hearing a voice I don't recognize.

It's not Ana.

"Mr. Grey?"

And then it happens again.

My body slowly starts to stir awake, my eyes opening.

I look around realizing we're still on the plane.

I look down to Ana fast asleep in my arms, both of us curled up into my small first class seat.

"My apologies Mr. Grey, but we'll be landing in roughly 20 minutes, we'd like to get everyone back to their seats with their seat belts fastened"

"We're here?"

"Yes sir" She smiles nodding.

"I'll wake her, thank you" I smile at her sleepily and I gently start to move once the hostess makes her leave, making her way around the other passengers.

"Ana…" I gently stroke her hair then her cheek.

"Mmm…"

She's adorable when she's tired.

"We're almost here, they want us back in our seats" I smile continuing my movements through her hair until she's fully awake.

"We're here already?" she slowly sits up, her eyes sleepy and her body stirred.

"Welcome to London baby" I grin.

She looks at me excitedly, giggling softly before she captures her lips with mine.

"I can't believe we're here"

She looks out the window gazing down at the British fields before the fastened seatbelt light turns on and she moves back to her seat opposite me.

The plane dips and she grips the armrests of the seat in freight.

She's such a nervous flyer. I reach my hand overtaking hers and she smiles gratefully.

"Landing is the worst part" She takes a deep breath resting her head back closing her eyes, breathing slowly.

"We'll be down soon" I gently stroke my thumb over her knuckles soothingly.

We soon hit the tarmac and Ana releases the breath of air she's been holding in. She opens her eyes and looks at me smiling.

"We made it!" She says excitedly smiling.

Once our luggage is retrieved we make our way out where Taylor and Sawyer have the private car ready and waiting for us.

It's not much of a drive and we finally arrive at the 5 star 'The Lanesborough' hotel around 9 pm. As we drive I watch as Ana's eyes light up at every little thing we see. The lights around the city highlighting her piercing blue eyes.

I still can't believe she's mine.

We drive up to the hotel and her eyes widen.

"This is where we're staying? Christian…it's beautiful" She squeezes my hand excitedly.

"It was my Mom's suggestion actually, she stayed here a long time ago… When I researched it I thought it looked perfect. It reminds me a lot of the places in your novels" I smirk smiling more.

"It is! It's beautiful!"

We head inside and I must admit it is absolutely stunning.

It's located on the doorstep of the very beautiful Hyde Park.

Ana's eyes are everywhere and it makes me laugh seeing her s engrossed into every little detail.

Taylor and Sawyer following close behind as the bell boy brings out our cases.

I'll be sure to tip him well.

"Mr. and Mrs. Grey….Welcome…I hope you had a good journey?" The receptionist pretty much sings to us with excitement at our arrival.

The fuck is that about?

Not even I'm used to this…

I didn't realize my name was that well known. How the hell did our wedding make the English news?

Taking over that business really has turned our lives upside down. I just hope Ana isn't too overwhelmed, she didn't sign up for this attention.

"Yes, thank you…" Ana answers for the both of us and she smiles up at me taking my hand back in hers.

"Welcome to England and more importantly welcome to the Lanesborough. I'll get you checked right in"

She starts to type into the computer.

Ana squeezing my hand smiling, "It's so beautiful… I can't believe we're really here…"

I chuckle moving my arm around her waist holding her close, kissing the top of her head smiling more.

"There we go, you're all checked in, I've already sent your luggage up to your room and you'll be staying at the Buckingham Suite, one of our most luxurious suites here at the Lanesborough. You'll have full access to all the facilities, breakfast will be between 6 am and 10 am and as a congratulations present we have you scheduled for one of our luxurious couple massages in our spa tomorrow morning at 9 am from us to you"

"Thankyou…we appreciate that" I smile pulling Ana closer as we make our way to the elevators clicking for the Buckingham suite.

When we enter the suite we are greeted by a long, mahogany lined entrance hall leading straight to a separate living and dining room to the suite. We make our way in gazing around and it's completely stunning.

I wanted the best for Ana.

She deserves it.

The suite is decorated in Mahogany color with gold and red details. Hand-painted artwork plastering the walls.

Her eyes are bright with excitement as she moves to the window opening the curtains. It's dark outside but the Wellington Arch is well within sight. Ana stands there gazing out at the London city completely in awe and overwhelmed.

I move up behind her snaking my arms around her waist smiling.

"You okay?"

She nods smiling resting back into my embrace.

"It's absolutely beautiful Christian, thank you so much for all of this" She turns in my arms gazing up at me.

"No need to thank me…I made a promise when you said you'd be mine I said I'd spoil you for the rest of our lives and I meant it. I'm just glad and blessed to be in the position I am to give you everything you ever wanted"

I lean down kissing her forehead.

"I fell in love with you long before you became CEO of the company, and I would still love you even if you weren't. You're everything I need in this world" She says seriously as she strokes my cheekbone.

Something in what she says hits me right in the heart and it makes me feel a little overwhelmed.

"I love you" I smile feeling a little too emotional.

I don't know what's happened to me over the last two years, but I've changed dramatically.

I rarely feel angry anymore and my body is filled with emotions I'm barely used to.

I have Ana to thank for my drastic changes. Changes for the better. I'm loving more, I'm loving better, I have a future now.

"I love you too"

I lean down kissing her gently and she smiles against my lips before she heads off searching around our suite. I can tell she's fallen in love with it.

My phone starts to ring and it's Ros so while Ana is investigating the entire suite, I take the call.

"CHRISTIAN! COME AND LOOK AT THIS BED!" Ana shouts from the room not realizing I'm on the phone making me laugh. She's adorable.

I hear Ros laugh at the other end of the phone as she hears Ana's squeals.

"I'll let you go, Christian, enjoy your honeymoon, I'll contact if I need you"

"Thanks, Ros, Speak to you soon"

I make my way into the bedroom and low and behold there is a huge king size four poster bed placed right in the center of the room with a huge 60 inch TV on the wall opposite it.

I watch as Ana walks around the room and over to me grinning from ear to ear.

"This is the best place I've ever stayed"

"The best place so far" I wink teasingly and I lean down kissing her softly. "And the things we can do in that bed too…" My hands slip from her waist and rest on her ass as I smile against her lips.

"Mmm… is that so Mr. Grey? Was the mile high club not to your standards?" She's teasing me and it does things to me.

"Oh very up to my standards Mrs Grey, but that bed looks too enticing to miss the opportunity to make love to you all night long" I grin making her laugh and she leans up kissing me deeply, her arms snaking around my neck as I hoist her up by her thighs, letting her wrap her legs around my waist and then plopping her into the bed.

The next morning when we wake, we take a bath together in the modernized but old fashioned style tub that was placed right in the center of the bathroom. It was a stunning layout and it gives me ideas for our own place.

After we bath together we take the opportunity to head to breakfast and then make the most of our complimentary couples massage.

The masseuse were both females, and I'm not sure Ana enjoyed watching another woman rub me down. She kept her eyes constantly watching the females hands, it made me laugh a little because there will never be anyone but Ana, but I understand where she was coming from, if her masseuse was a guy, he wouldn't have any hands left to massage with. so after our little massage session, I made sure to claim her as my own once again taking her back to our room and having shower sex.

The rest of London was incredible too.

We ate, We strolled, we laughed, we made love, we talked. It was the perfect start to our honeymoon.

The Ivy restaurant was absolutely delicious, Ana thoroughly enjoyed it.

We took a ride on the London Eye so we got an amazing view of the entire city.

Ana was adamant she wanted to take a tour bus, but specifically, one where there was no roof.

That did great things to my hair I swear, but she loved it and that's all that mattered to me.

I watched her smile, laugh, shiver with the wind, curl into me as she gazes out and honestly it was the best experience. This girl is my entire life.

She's pointing out at all of the landmarks, taking thousands of pictures and even a few selfies of the both of us.

We pass Big Ben. Downing Street, Buckingham Palace, Trafalgar Square, Tower Bridge and so much more.

We even went to Oxford street where we both did a little shopping.

Ana being Ana looked at every single price tag and anything over £100 she gracefully put back.

"I can get it for you" I smile squeezing her hand but she shakes her head.

"It's pretty but I can find another one for cheaper"

"You don't need cheaper baby"

"I know…I just.." She shrugs, "I'm not used to all this I guess… plus, a £10 bag will do the exact same thing as something that's £150" She smiles looking up at me.

As always, she's right. But still, I want to spoil her even if she doesn't want me to.

Every evening we strolled along the Thames, listening to the music, listening to the hustle and bustle of the city, gazing up at the city lights and watching the water flow in the river below us.

We find a few cocktail bars, a few restaurants, even a pizza hut takeaway pizza place on the corner of Leicester square where we ordered slices of pizza and sat outside together watching the world go by.

Our time in London went by so quickly, but we managed to cram everything into the 5 days.

5 days of pure bliss, 5 days of us, our first 5 days as Mr. and Mrs. Grey and I'm already looking forward to the next 50 years.

Next stop….Rome.

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	41. Chapter 41

Chapter 41…

And we made it! We've landed in Rome.

Taylor makes his way through the large city with Sawyer at his side in the passenger seat and Christian and I seated in the back.

Our windows down with the wind blowing through our hair, the sun shining down as we gaze out at the beautiful Rome buildings making our way towards the hotel.

"So where are we staying this time?" I grin squeezing his hand as I turn to look at him.

His smile grows lacing our fingers, "Wait and see baby…we're almost there".

"You're so secretive" I grin teasing making him laugh.

"You love the mystery" He smirks and leans forward kissing me softly.

He's right, I do love him and I do love surprises.

I kiss him back smiling against his lips. This trip has been incredible so far, I never want to leave.

We drive a little further and my eyes almost pop out as we pull up outside of a huge 5-star luxury hotel.

"You're spoiling me"

"I know" He grins making me laugh.

"This is incredible Christian, it's so beautiful"

"This was Mia's suggestion, she came here for a fashion weekend and this is where it was held, she said it was beautiful and that It's the best place around and that you would love it" He gently strokes my knuckles.

"It looks so….so…so…..elegant and clean"

"Clean?" He laughs softly and I nudge him making glaring eyes at him teasingly.

There's a bell boy taking the luggage as we make our way inside and heads over to the reception.

"Hi…I can help the next guest?" The receptionist says from the far end of the counter and we make our way over.

Christian's hand at my waist as we walk. I love feeling his hand around me all protective and mine.

"Reservation for Grey"

"Oh, Mr Grey! Mrs Grey! Welcome to Rome….and welcome to the Hassler Hotel"

"Thank you" I reply smiling softly.

"I'll get you checked right in….so we have you situated on the 7th floor in our luxurious Penthouse villa Medici Suite, I hope you'll be very happy in there, it's my personal favourite….so here are your keys, your luggage has already been taken up. If there's anything else you need please call us, reception is line 1 on the room telephone and I hope you have a lovely stay"

"Thank you" I smile brightly watching as Christian takes the keys and we make our way to the elevator.

We head inside and Christian presses the button for the 7th floor, allowing the doors to close before he grins cupping my cheek kissing me deeply.

I smile against his lips smirking slightly and my hands move around his shoulders kissing him back.

"So…do you like this hotel so far?"

"Like? Christian, it's amazing…incredible even, I'm in awe of the luxury, I really don't think I'll ever get used to the high-class life. I'm just glad Mia took me shopping for new clothes before we came…can you imagine me walking in here with my jeans and a hoodie?"

We both laugh and he kisses me again, "You'd look amazing in a trash bag Ana".

"I highly doubt that" I smirk kissing him back.

Soon the elevator pings open and we head to our suite.

My eyes widen when the door opens and we are hit with a huge, bright luxurious suite. Everything is pristine and immaculate. I squeeze Christian's hand in shock. I thought London was breathtaking but Rome, just Wow.

The suite is presented with a new modern style but with some classical accents.

It is very beautiful.

I wander around the entire suite, completely and utterly in awe of my entire surroundings. Upon entering the suite, the elegant beige marble floors surround my feet, the spacious sitting room features an elegant beige sofa, a plasma TV as well as large windows looking out over the city. There's an adjacent dining area, separated by two classical columns, featuring a large black oval table with an ornate white base with black elegant chairs surrounding it. The mirrors reflect the beautiful view on every wall. I make my way into the master bedroom, my lips curling into the brightest smile. The bedroom is decorated in elegant and neutral grey, beige and white tones with accents of red and a suspended overhead canopy, as well as the bed-side tables and sofa. A large plasma TV plasters the wall opposite the bed and to my surprise it even has a very large walk-in closet, completing the space.

Joining the bedroom is an en suite bathroom and Christian comes up behind me as I gaze at it, snaking his arms around my waist.

"Another Jacuzzi? I thoroughly enjoyed the last Jacuzzi we had"

His words still have me blushing like crazy even after being together all this time. Even now we're married.

My cheeks turn a pink as I giggle softly, "I thoroughly enjoyed it too" I grin, "How long are we in Rome for?"

"5 days at each place" He smiles and nuzzles into the crook of my neck.

"Plenty of time for a Jacuzzi then" I smirk and moves my hands over his rested on my stomach.

"A Jacuzzi? Oh, Ana…we have time for way more than just A Jacuzzi" He smirks against my skin making me laugh more.

"Oh my gosh, there's a TV in the mirror!" I squeal excitedly turning it on.

A bathroom with a TV?!

I can't believe it!

Christian laughs at my excitement as he watched me continue to venture around the suite.

"You haven't seen the best part yet" He offers me his hand which I willingly take.

"There's more?!"

"Mhmm…"

He whisks me off opening the doors onto a beautiful elegant terrace looking out over the city.

Wow.

Just Wow.

This is incredible.

I can't believe this is my life now. This is my future.

This beauty, this pleasure, this elegance, this love.

Forever.

Our 5 days of Rome once again flew by way too quickly. The thought of the fact we are well over half way through our honeymoon kind of makes me a little sad.

Can't we just stay here forever?

We managed to cover so much in Rome though, which was amazing, we did everything we wanted to.

The Trevi Fountain honestly being the highlight of my trip, it was just so beautiful, so calm. A place of love. It was perfect.

"Here" Christian holds up a coin and I look curious.

"What's that for?"

"Throw it in…" He grins smiling and he tosses one in then I take the other and tosses it near to where Christians landed.

"There's so much money in there"

He smiles nodding, "So people believe that whoever throws a coin into these waters shall one day return to Rome"

"Really? That's pretty amazing. I hope we come back" My smile grows and he tilts my chin up placing a small and gentle kiss to my lips.

"I'll bring you back here one day" He whispers against my lips and I nod smiling brightly kissing him once more.

He wants to come back and I'm already so excitedly for that trip.

During our 5 days, we also visited the Vatican. It was so beautiful, so historic, but what intrigued me most was the conspiracy theories revolved around the Vatican. As I gazed around I often wondered if any of them were true. I don't always just read romance, conspiracies intrigue me too.

While we were there we also saw many paintings and artworks from well-known artists such as Michaelangelo. We visited The Coliseum, that was incredibly huge and we learnt so much about the history of Rome there it was incredible. We also went to the Castle Saint Angelo where the view of the city was beyond words.

I'm already on 673 photographs from London and now with Rome adding to the list, I'm going well over a Thousand photos now.

But everything is so beautiful and they're memories I want to cherish forever.

I even snuck a few candids of Christian that he doesn't know about yet, but I love them already, they're my favourite photos of all.

My ultimate favourite is the one I sneakily took of him gazing out at the Rome city, he looks so carefree, so happy, so handsome. It's a good representation of our honeymoon.

The food in Rome was also absolutely mouthwatering. Real style pizza and pasta, I don't think food back in America will ever taste the same after my taste buds have savoured the nutrition and mouth-watering foods here.

We also did, in fact, make love in that Jacuzzi every single night we stayed. We even christened the bed a few times. The night before we were due to depart, Christian fell asleep in my arms as we cuddled underneath the blankets in the large master bedroom.

My hands gently stroking through his hair as I gaze up at the ceiling, my lips plastering the biggest smile.

We leave again tomorrow for our last 5 days.

Paris.

It's been the place where I've always dreamed of going but never thought I'd make it.

But Christian has made it happen. He's made my dreams come true in more ways than one.

London was amazing, Rome has been breathtaking….

Next stop…

Paris!

We walked off the plane into sunny Paris. I bite my lip excitedly that my feet have actually touched the French ground.

I still cannot believe it.

"You okay?" Christian laughs at my reaction as he moves his arms around me and kisses the top of my head, "I love seeing you this excited"

"I still can't believe I'm here…can't we just? Maybe? Stay forever"

"Bring my company here?" He smirks.

"We could totally do that!"

He laughs more escorting me to the car and opens the door.

"Wait until you see where we're staying here…I think you'll love it" He grins.

"Tell me!"

"Nope…surprise" He grins more and I pout teasingly.

"What…if…I can persuade you…"I gently trail my fingers against his thigh causing him to jerk slightly and he catches my wrist shaking his head with a teasing glare.

"Patience is a virtue Ana…we have plenty of time"

I laugh smiling and I rest my head onto his shoulder as we drive to wherever we'll be staying.

When we climb out I look curiously out at the water.

"Surprise" He grins.

"Are we camping on the beach?"

He points out at a very large boat, "That's our home for the next 5 days, personal hire…en suite bathroom, tv, only downside… no jacuzzi" He smirks making me laugh.

A boat?

Wow.

I am gobsmacked.

"You hired a boat?!"

"Just for us"

"This is incredible!" I grin wrapping my arms around his waist gazing out at the water.

"Is it going to come into shore so we can climb on?"

"Oh baby…we have to go to the boat, the boat can't come to us…that's our ride…" He smirks pointing to the jet ski, "The boat being on the water makes us more private and allows us to Christen every area without having to worry about people hearing us" He grins.

"You are joking?!"

"Nope!" He laughs more.

I'm so excited but nervous at the same time. I've never ridden a jet ski before.

"Sir…" Taylor coughs moving towards us handing Christian a bag.

"Thanks, Taylor" He looks down at me grinning.

"Get your bikini on baby, I'm taking you for a ride" He hands me a yellow triangle style bikini with matching bottoms and gestures to a small tent located here on the beach, "This is also our private area for the whole time too"

My smile grows and I gently cup his cheek gazing into his eyes.

"How did I ever get so lucky?"

He bites his lip smiling gazing back into my eyes, "I ask myself the same question every single day"

He kisses me softly before swatting my ass making me squeal slightly and watches as I make my way towards the tent getting dressed.

When I emerge, I watch as his eyes widen lustfully. The material barely covering anything, but he seems to like it.

He holds out a white lace caftan for me to pull over the top.

"Thank you…"

"I can't believe it" His eyes continue to bore into mine.

"Can't believe what?"

"That you're mine" He smiles gently brushing my hair behind my ear and I blush softly.

"I'm yours forever"

"Good" He smiles more and places a kiss to my forehead, "I'm gonna get dressed and then we can head over"

I nod and moves sitting on the beach bed placed beside our private tent gazing out at the water and the large white boat we have hired.

This is so incredible, my heart is racing with excitement.

Once Christian is ready we jump onto the jet ski and go speeding away towards the boat. Once arrived he helps me up the large ladder handing me a towel which I willingly take to dry off from the ski sprays.

The wooden Oak flooring surrounding my feet, my eyes gaze around.

The whole boat decorated in dark wood and white furniture.

"So there are 3 decks, our bedroom with the en suite, the dining room, and then here on the top deck" He grins proudly with his decisions. "I also have reservations for us tonight on a river Boat along the Seine"

"Seriously?!"

"Seriously, 3-course meal and fine dining" He smiles more lifting me up by my ass around his waist.

"You keep surprising me"

"I love seeing your face when you're surprised"

He kisses me deeply and he carries me down below deck allowing me to explore the bedroom. Mainly the bed as he plops me down and before I know it, I'm orgasming and moaning his name in pleasure.

The rest of our 5 days are incredible.

We have dinner along the Seine, the next day we have dinner at the highest level of the Eiffel tower which has the most breathtakingly amazing views while we sit there eating our steaks and sipping our wine.

During the 5 days, We grab a hop on tour bus with no roof, very similar to the one we experienced in London.

'The city of lights', 'the city of Romance', 'the culinary capital of the world', all these are just names Paris, France is known by and honestly? It definitely lives up to its expectations.

On the bus tour, we pass hundreds of historic buildings, museums, the Louvre, The Arc de Triomphe, The Eiffel Tower, The Notre-dame. I point out at everything I love to Christian and he simply smiles his way through enjoying my company and taking in all of the facts.

My camera storage has officially gone over 2000.

Oops.

We wander around the Louvre museum which is incredible and informative. Then we decide to wander the streets of Paris, finding a quirky and quaint little cafe that reminded me a lot like the very cafe Christian and I have called our own in Seattle.

We hold hands, we talk, we laugh, we love, we even go to the Aquarium.

Then my favourite place, the Palace of Versailles. It was incredibly beautiful. We wandered the halls hand in hand, strolled through the perfectly coloured and scented gardens filled with hundreds of thousands of flowers, a trickling fountain placed right in the centre of the gardens where we sit and enjoy each others embrace and enjoy the rays of sunshine, the atmosphere and our surroundings for a long time.

The day before we leave is spent relaxing on the beach together simply laying here, thinking, gazing, sunbathing.

"Do we have to leave?" I slip my glasses down sighing softly.

"I wish we didn't baby, I really do" He kisses my forehead.

I wish we could stay.

15 days later, I don't want to go home.

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	42. Chapter 42

Chapter 42…

And so it ends.

It's all over.

The honeymoon is done, finished and we're back in our small, quaint Seattle apartment which is now well known to the whole city.

Back to reality.

Reality fucking sucks.

We've been home a week now and it honestly feels like I have never been away.

The honeymoon was incredible, Ana absolutely loved every moment of it and so did I, but being home just isn't the same.

We're both working a lot, we're both bombarded with other people.

Visiting our family every chance we get, we even ended up going to visit them separately because we've been working various shift patterns so we didn't have time to visit together.

The paparazzi have not left us alone since the moment we stepped off that plane and I think it's making Ana feel a little overwhelmed about it all.

I hate it myself so I dread to think how Ana feels about it.

She hates attention so all of this media footage of us is quite daunting, even for me.

We've spoken briefly about it, but every time we attempt to have any conversation, we end up getting distracted by one of our phones ringing and buzzes for our attention.

And now, the worst part?

I have to head to Los Angeles for a meeting this weekend and no matter how much I plead to her to come with me, she refuses and continues to tell me how she needs to stay because of SIP.

She's right, I know she is…. But I want her to come. I know that's selfish of me, but it's the way I am and I'm doing it for the both of us, I'm doing it for the right reasons. I think?

I don't want her staying in this apartment alone when we're currently big in the media and everyone knows where we are. Even with security I'd rather her be with me.

But yet, she still continues to refuse and I leave in 3 days.

Why the fuck couldn't we have just stayed in Europe? Just us? Happy, smiling, content, and together.

It's already been 2 weeks since we landed back in Seattle but it seems like a lifetime.

We've barely spent any time together except for laying in bed together late at night, falling asleep and then getting up early again each morning. We've barely had time for anything else, it's been completely chaotic.

And because I've been working so much, my overthinking and angry mind continues to taunt me, continues to spout lies that I believe, continues to tell me that one day she'll get bored of me and leave. If she ever did, I don't know what I'd do.

But she wouldn't, would she?

I have to keep positive.

I've been so used to having so much time together, that the lack of it has me missing her.

I just want things to calm down a little so we can have a little more us time. I think we both need it. We are both exhausted.

I'm hoping when I get back from Los Angeles we can both have the same day off work and make it a regular thing every week. A day for us.

I'm currently sitting in the apartment working from home today so when Ana comes home from work, her and I can spend a little time together, just us before I leave.

I've ordered take out and planned a night of movies and cuddles and just being together.

No other people, no crowds, no people staring at us, no paparazzi, just us, a large pizza, a box of wedges, chicken wings, a bottle of wine, the TV, our blankets and just us.

I'm typing away and organizing my trip when she finally walks through the door, she kicks her heels off sighing with relief at being home.

I smile looking up over my laptop screen at her, She looks exhausted but still as beautiful as ever.

Once her heels are off, she puts her bag onto the counter and smiles finally making eye contact with me.

She walks over towards me, standing behind my chair and moves her arms around my shoulders as she nuzzles into my neck.

"Hey" She whispers against my skin making me smile more.

I gently turn the swivel chair and faces towards her, my hands moving to her waist bringing her to sit on my lap. Her legs dangle sideways over mine as her arms move back around my neck, to which I then I take my turn to nuzzle into her neck.

"How was your day?" I whisper softly.

"Interesting….busy….even better now I have you though" She smiles running her hand through my hair and kisses the top of my head.

"I'm sorry we haven't had much time together since we came home, work has been…crazy" I sigh looking up at her.

"It's not your fault, we've both been busy with our works,…but I love coming home to you every night regardless of the amount of time" She smiles gazing into my eyes.

"I ran you a bath" I smile at her gaze as I get lost into the deep blue of her eyes.

"Will you join me?" She runs her hand through my hair as I nod willingly.

I stand keeping her in my arms and I carry her into the bathroom as she squeals laughing, slipping her arms back around my shoulders.

I put her down onto her feet once we've closed the door and I smile moving behind her gently unzipping her dress.

"You put bubbles in too?" She grins and I chuckle nodding.

"Only the best for you" I smile gently pushing the dress down her body, my fingertips grazing along every bit of skin I can.

I feel her shiver under my touch.

She steps out of her dress then turns to face me, moving her delicate fingers to my shirt and lifts it up and over my head. Her eyes raking down my torso and I watch as her lips curl into a smile.

"Can we have nights like this more often?" She smiles gazing up at me as and I nod in reply.

"Every week baby, I promise" I kiss her forehead smiling and she undoes my jeans pushing them down so we're both left in our underwear.

Once we've both completely undressed each other I head to the tub climbing in, offering her my hand which she willingly takes and sinks down between my legs in front of me.

She sighs relaxing as she leans back against my chest with her eyes closed enjoying the moment. My hands gently snake around her waist drawing small patterns along her bare skin as I hold her close to me.

"I still feel weird being home"

"Me too, It's weird not spending every moment with you"

"Reality calls" I sigh smiling against the back of her bare shoulder.

"How do you feel being home, now that we're..you know…married…" She smiles and looks up at me.

"I'm proud to call you mine" I smile and I lean down kissing her gently. "How do you feel about the paparazzi? I know there's been a lot, but I'm hoping it will die down soon too".

"It's a little overwhelming I'll admit, but nothing I can't handle, I guess it's something we have to get used to now" She smiles and the emotion goes straight to my heart. I know she's being strong for me.

I smile nodding and she rests once again against my chest, closing her eyes as I move to gently massage her shoulders.

"Mmmm…that's good" She whispers smiling.

"I ordered us some food in, it should be here any moment now, I thought it would be nice to stay in just the two of us"

She nods in reply and I watch her lips curl into a smile as she does, "That's perfect, I love you" She says as she turns to face me and kisses me lovingly.

"I love you" I whisper against her lips cupping her cheek as I kiss her back.

After a while, we climb out and as soon as I pull on my boxers, Taylor is calling my cell to tell me the takeout has arrived.

We really need to move somewhere more private now with all these people knowing where we live.

Maybe that's something we can talk about tonight?

I head to the door where Taylor and Sawyer are both standing by the door with the take out in hand.

"Thanks, guys…This one is for you" I hand them the second large pizza.

"Really sir?" Sawyers' eyes widen in surprise. He's much younger than Taylor and all us youngsters love our pizza. He's a great security though and they deserve it.

"Yes, enjoy it, we'll be in our room if you need anything"

"Yes sir and we will be right here if you need anything".

I nod and makes my way back into the bedroom to find Ana naked except for her panties as she's searching through her draws for her nightgown.

I lean in the doorway staring, my mouth plastering a large smirk, pretty much dribbling at the view.

She looks over her shoulder and blushes.

I love how I still make her blush after all of this time.

"Enjoying the view sir?" She teases before slipping on the black lace nightgown.

Fuck, it's my favorite one too.

"I am indeed, don't tell my wife" I tease making her laugh.

I smile moving to the bed and she climbs under the blankets as I climb in beside her opening all the boxes and we soon dig in.

"Oh my this is amazing," She says with a mouthful of pizza making me laugh.

She's so adorable.

"So…I've been thinking…"

She slows her chewing and looks at me curiously.

"About what?"

"About moving? Maybe….? It's just a thought because So many people know where we live now and I was thinking perhaps it would be better for us if we moved somewhere more secure? Somewhere we can be us and not have anyone else around"

She continues to look at me thinking.

"Like another apartment?"

"An apartment or a house…I have a few places in mind, so I was hoping that when I get back from Los Angeles, we could maybe go property hunting together?"

She swallows her piece of pizza and her lips curl into a smile as she nods, "I'd like that".

"Perfect, I'll get Ros to set it up for us"

"Perfect" She smiles and I gently move my arm around her shoulders as she moves to curl into my side still munching on her slice of pizza.

She gazes out at the TV and I gently run my hand through her hair with my free hand as I eat my pizza with the other. I watch her for a moment she seems to be thinking. Completely deep in thought and concentrating on something.

Maybe she's overthinking the move?

We don't have to if she doesn't want to.

But I don't think it is the house. It seems to be something more….

I bite my lip curious to know what she's thinking about, she's gone quiet.

Too Quiet.

I continue to watch her.

I gently stroke my hand back through her hair as I attempt to get her attention back, bring her back to the room.

"You okay? Is something wrong?"

She looks up at me as I bring her out of her thoughts. "I have something to tell you and I'm not sure you're going to like it…" She bites my lip her and she sits up crossing her legs.

Fuck, this is serious.

"What is it?" I sit up a little more feeling on edge as I look at her.

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What is Ana going to tell him I wonder?

STAY TUNED FOR THE NEXT UPDATE IN THE NEXT 48 HOURS!


	43. Chapter 43

Chapter 43…

It's been two weeks since we came home.

Two weeks since the perfect honeymoon.

Two weeks since we properly spent time together.

Christian and I went back to work almost immediately, both of us working quite a lot.

When we came home to the apartment each evening, both of us being so exhausted, we'd climb into bed and fall asleep in each other's arms, only to be woken up again a few hours later.

Since coming home the Paparazzi have been in full swing, they constantly reside outside of the apartment or my workplace and honestly? I hate it.

It makes me anxious and paranoid. I hate attention and I always have, so for me to continually see my face on newspapers and tabloids is kind of daunting for me.

I think maybe we should move somewhere else, somewhere less knowable. Maybe that's something we can discuss soon.

Christian is leaving for Los Angeles soon and I really don't want to stay in the apartment alone, as much as I would love to go with him, I can't leave my work again, I take this role seriously and I'd like to progress within the company.

I know he hates the fact I won't go, but now we both have our jobs it's something we might have to get used to.

I want to do something for him though before he leaves.

He's done so much for me and he deserves to be treated too.

Maybe dinner before he leaves?

I'll figure something out.

The first day back to work was great but I missed him. I missed us being together. It was such a strange emotion. I was excited for work but deathly disappointed that I didn't have Christian around.

Both of our first days were long and tiresome and by the time I got home, Christian was passed out on the couch.

He looked so tired I didn't want to disturb him so I made my way to the closet grabbing our spare blankets and covered him.

5 am that morning I hear the padding of feet moving across the bedroom, I stir slightly as I feel him carefully climb in behind me and moves his arm around my waist as he curls against my back as I sleep. I feel him nuzzle against the back of my neck and I smile at his attempts. Keeping my eyes closed, I sleepily turn my body to face him and cuddles into him as he kisses the top of my head holding me close.

"Morning" I mumble sleepily.

"Morning, I'm sorry I fell asleep last night"

"It's okay, you looked peaceful, I didn't want to wake you"

I nuzzle into his neck.

"I have to head back to work, what time are you working until today?"

"6 I think, you?"

"8" I hear him sigh and I slowly open my eyes to look up at him, I gently stroke his cheek.

"I'll have dinner ready for you when you get home…It's not quite a French restaurant but it'll have to do" I tease and I lean up kissing him softly.

"Sounds perfect" He smiles against my lips before kissing me back.

And with that he was leaving for work, and so was I.

I walk into SIP and I'm called into Mr. Roach's office.

He's smiling holding a large file of folders when I gently knock the door.

"Ana…hi, welcome back, how was your honeymoon?" He smiles.

"Good morning Mr. Roach, It was amazing thank you" I make my way further into the office. "Hannah said you wanted to speak with me?"

"We're glad to have you back…..I did! Yes…I've been really impressed with your work so far Ana and I have some available spaces I need to fill. It'll include a pay rise too naturally and it'll become more full time"

My eyes widen in shock, seriously?

Is this…is this a promotion?

"Really? You want me to work here… like officially?"

That makes him laugh at the excited but shocked tone of my voice.

"You've done more work as an intern than I've seen in some of the previous members of staff here, I'm confident you'd be an amazing member of our team and I really want to give you this chance"

"Thank you, Mr Roach….that's amazing, Thankyou so much for this opportunity, I promise I won't let you down" I smile brightly and he nods handing me over some paperwork to fill out.

"I'd like you to accompany Elizabeth in the hiring process of some new interns too, We'd like you to just sit in with her and take some notes on the candidates"

"Of course, I'd love to" I smile nodding.

"Perfect, I'll let Elizabeth know and they'll be taking place next Thursday, it might go over time but you'll get paid for it if that's okay with you?"

"Yes, of course, it's no problem at all"

"Perfect, thank you Ana"

"No problem, Mr. Roach"

I make my way back to my desk.

I can't believe that just happened.

Have I actually just been promoted?

I'm no longer an intern.

Wow, just wow.

I lift up the phone calling Christian who answers immediately.

"Ana"

"Hey…sorry to call but, I have some news"

"Is everything okay? What news?"

"Mr. Roach has given me a full-time job here"

"What? Seriously?! Ana that's amazing! I knew you would do amazing there, congratulations baby"

"I can't believe it! I'm in shock! Are you still finishing late tonight?"

"Yeah I'll be home about 8, I'll bring a bottle of wine to celebrate," He says happily.

"Nope, No need, I'll have everything ready for you, my turn to spoil you" I grin.

"If you insist" He chuckles and I can imagine the smile on his face, "I have to go, I'm about to head into a meeting, I'll see you later. I love you"

"I love you too" I smile and with that, he's gone.

After that day, they started to delegate manuscripts to me. Wanting me to read through them, make notes, add my own opinions and then hand them back. Within that week I managed to get through 7 which apparently is pretty impressive, but when you love to read as much as I do, it's nothing really.

I'm excited to see my pay rise on Friday though, and I'm excited to help out with the newbies on Thursday.

It's now that Thursday. I make my way into the office ready and prepared with my notebook and pen as I move to find Elizabeth.

"Ana! You ready?" She smiles making her way down the corridor towards my desk.

"Yes," I smile more nodding and follows her into her office.

She goes through a few details with me, how many candidates we have coming in, what notes she needs me to take and whether I personally think they'd make a good fit too. Apparently, she wants a second opinion.

From me of all people. It makes me a little overwhelmed with the confidence they have in me. I can't believe how far we've come.

I take my seat beside Elizabeth as she sits at her desk. A chair opposite us ready for each candidate.

I remember being in that position myself, but my interview was with Mr. Roach. I wonder why Elizabeth is doing them this time.

Candidate 1 enters, Elizabeth asks the questions, I take the notes, the candidate leaves and Elizabeth and I discuss.

Candidate 2 enters, the same routine happens again.

Candidate 3.

Candidate 4.

Candidate 5.

Candidate 6.

Candidate 7.

Candidate 8. Oh my gosh. What. No. It can't be. It's not is it?

I start to grow nervous as I look at the name of Candidate 8.

My heart starts to pound faster.

And faster.

And faster.

Did it just get hot in here or is that just me?

I can feel myself getting anxious.

My fingertips starting to shake slightly as I hold the paper gazing down at the name.

Maybe it's not.

It can't be.

For a brief moment, I'm taken back to college. My first couple of weeks there, the party, seeing him and Christian fighting in the kitchen. The memories very clearly taking over my mind.

The door knocks and in walks candidate 8 being pulled from my thoughts.

"Morning, I'm Jack Hyde" He holds his hand out towards Elizabeth as he speaks with a large smile.

She willingly shakes his hand and this is the first time I've seen her face brighten towards someone. She probably likes his smugness.

Well, this is just great.

I'd like to just curl up into a ball now and die.

Please.

I try to keep my gaze towards my notebook but he notices me and that's it. He's smirking and grinning.

"Anastasia Steele…long time no see, I didn't know you worked here?"

"You two know each other?"

I can't give her a bad impression, I can't. I'm too good of a person for that.

I nod and gives Elizabeth a small smile, "Jack and I were in College together".

"Oh, what a coincidence" she looks back to Jack smiling.

"Indeed" He smiles towards me.

Christian is not going to be happy.

"If you'd like to take a seat, Jack, we'll begin"

He sits down pulling out his resume and they begin to talk and I start taking notes.

Overthinking, worrying, I can barely concentrate.

"So, as you and Ana know each other…Ana has been with us now for quite a while and she came here straight from College, what's made you apply to be an intern now and not back when you initially graduated?"

Yeah Jack, where have you been?!

Curious to hear the answer I look up at him.

"Well, If I'm honest I wasn't entirely sure what I wanted to do in College. I was studying various courses but Something didn't feel right, books have always been my guilty pleasure and after taking some time out to travel around a little, I've found what I've really wanted to do, and that's to go into publishing and let the world disappear between the pages of the books I've helped to get out there, you know?"

I look to Elizabeth once he's finished his answer and her lips curl into the biggest smile I've seen her give all day.

This doesn't bode well.

"That's all for today Jack, thank you for your time…we'll be in touch shortly to let you know if you've been successful"

"Great! Thanks for the opportunity for the interview regardless of the outcome" He stands smugly offering her his hand once again which she willingly takes.

He then turns slightly to the left towards me offering me his hand.

I don't want to but I have to be professional.

I reach my hand out and shakes his hand loosely.

"It was nice seeing you again Ana"

"You too" I lie.

And with that, he's gone.

Elizabeth turns to me and we discuss each and every candidate but she seems to really take more to Jack than all of the others.

Great.

His smugness and confidence have always pulled everyone's strings except Christian's.

I Still have no idea what happened between them for them to hate each other so much.

I just nod along with her. She's higher than me. Mr. Roach is my boss but she's a close second and she scares and intimidates me more. Once we've wrapped up, I move to my desk to collect my things before making my way home.

I can't wait to just be home, kick off my heels and I'm looking forward to getting home tonight because Christian has promised he's staying up and waiting for me to get home and has promised me food.

He knows the way to my heart.

I'm hoping it's pizza, I need it.

I stroll home but I'm overthinking. How am I supposed to tell Christian that Jack has interviewed for SIP and he's probably got the job?

He's going to be so angry.

I hope he doesn't make me quit.

He wouldn't, would he?

I sigh making my way up in the elevator having Sawyer close behind me for security.

I walk into the apartment, kicking off my heels, putting my bag onto the counter and there he is.

He's smiling at me over his laptop.

I just need a hug right now.

I make my way over to him and wraps my arms around him from behind.

He turns to face me bringing me into his lap which is what I need.

I need to be close to him.

I need his comfort.

The worry of Jack running through my veins but I try to calm myself.

"How was your day?" he whispers softly into my neck.

"Interesting….busy….even better now I have you though" I kiss the top of his head.

"I'm sorry we haven't had much time together since we came home, work has been…crazy"

"It's not your fault, we've both been busy with our works,…but I love coming home to you every night regardless of the amount of time"

"I ran you a bath"

"Will you join me?"

He lifts me up into his arms and carries me to the bathroom as an answer and I squeal giggling as he smirks.

We undress each other relishing in the time we have together.

After we bathe, we head into the bedroom, I climb under the covers and he opens all of the boxes and I start to dig in.

Pizza has honestly never tasted so good.

"So…I've been thinking…" He says as we eat and I look at him curiously.

"About what?"

"About moving? Maybe….? It's just a thought because So many people know where we live now and I was thinking perhaps it would be better for us if we moved somewhere more secure? Somewhere we can be us and not have anyone else around"

"Like another apartment?"

"An apartment or a house…I have a few places in mind, so I was hoping that when I get back from Los Angeles, we could maybe go property hunting together?"

"I'd like that".

"Perfect, I'll get Ros to set it up for us"

"Perfect"

I curl into him as he moves his arm around my shoulders and holds me close. Both of us continuing to demolish the pizza and wine in front of us.

As I cuddle into him Jack creeps back into my mind.

If I don't tell him he would find out sooner or later.

If Christian ever walked into SIP to meet me, or something and he sees Jack, he would be so incredibly mad I never told him.

I keep thinking.

Thinking.

Overthinking.

I must be silent for too long because Christian brings me out of my poisonous thoughts and he looks a little worried.

"You okay? Is something wrong?"

It's now or never Ana. Just do it, I tell myself.

I sigh and I look up at him before I gently sit up and crosses my legs.

"I have something to tell you and I'm not sure you're going to like it…" I bite my lip nervously.

"What is it?"

"Jack had an interview with SIP today and I think they really liked him… I fear maybe they might hire him to work with us"

"Jack fucking Hyde?!"

I can already see the anger boiling in his blood. The way he clenches his jaw together hearing Jack's name. The way he sits up and his eyes grow darker.

I nod in reply to his question.

"Yeah…that Jack"

"Not fucking happening" He climbs out of the bed.

Great.

Just Great.

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Jack's back! Cue the drama…. Sorry to everyone who thought and hoped she was pregnant…maybe one day but not quite yet!


	44. Chapter 44

Chapter 44…

Nope.

Not fucking happening.

Not a chance in hell.

No fucking way.

"Jack had an interview with SIP today and I think they really liked him… I fear maybe they might hire him to work with us"

"Jack fucking Hyde?!"

"Yeah…that Jack"

"Not fucking happening"

I climb off the bed running my hand through my hair in frustration.

My fists clenching at my side.

All the memories of the past rushing through my brain, taking me back to every single moment.

I pace back and forth in an attempt to calm but nothing seems to work.

My anxiety hitting the roof, in need of coming back down to the ground.

I want to punch the wall, I so desperately want to push the wall but with Ana sat there, I try to compose myself. She watches me pace for a moment before she climbs off the bed and moves to me.

She can see my anger building, she can see the anxiety in me.

She's coming to me, she always does.

She's my light, always has been, always will be.

Her small delicate hands moving to cup my cheeks, making me gaze down into her eyes.

My eyes bore into hers as the anger pulses through me.

Calm Christian, try to get calm for her.

She gently strokes her thumb across my cheekbone calmingly.

My breathing starts to slow, my body starts to relax again.

"I'm here..it's okay…" She whispers softly.

She keeps her gaze with mine, continuing her thumb efforts along my cheekbones.

Her efforts slowly but surely calming me.

I close my eyes tightly and I move my hand over hers gently squeezing.

"He's not working there"

"I don't think we have much choice in the matter"

Shit.

I do have a choice. I can call Jerry right now and tell him if he hires Jack, then I will bring hell to that place.

But I can't, Ana still doesn't know I own the company.

I was hoping it would never come to this, never come to her knowing.

She's going to hate me.

She's going to hate me so much.

"I can't go to LA knowing he's here, more so now he knows you're here too"

"You have to go, it's your work…"

"Then come with me"

"I can't Christian, I have to stay and show I'm committed"

I sigh and rests my forehead against hers in frustration.

"Come back to bed" She gently takes my hand, "It's been our first night spending more than 5 minutes with each other, let's not have Jack ruin it okay? I'm sorry I brought up I just didn't want secrets between us"

Fuck. That sentence echoes through my brain.

_'I just didn't want secrets between us'_

_'I just didn't want secrets between us'_

_'I just didn't want secrets between us'_

_'I just didn't want secrets between us'_

_'I just didn't want secrets between us'_

_'I just didn't want secrets between us'_

_'I just didn't want secrets between us'_

I have a secret.

She takes my hand guiding me back to the bed and we both climb in. She crawls in beside me and curls into my side, nuzzling into my neck.

What am I supposed to do now?!

I move my arms around her and I hold her close to me. I gaze out, the anger still pulsing through my body, my mind filled with thoughts.

Overthinking, over feeling, over worrying.

What if something happens to her while I'm gone?

What if he does something to her?

He's bullied me, intimidated me, fought me, got me into trouble, taken what's mine for as long as I can remember.

Butt all I know is, I have to protect Ana.

He can't take her from me.

I know what he's like, I've witnessed what he's done to her before, and I know, something deep down inside of me knows that he's doing this on purpose. He's doing this to get to me. He's doing it to get to Ana.

Fuck.

This paparazzi shit, I bet he's seen and knows everything. Our whole lives are in the papers now.

We need to move, we need more privacy, we need our life back without having to worry about this fucking stuff.

My mind reels and overthinks with negative and terrible thoughts. My mind going back to the college parties.

Seeing him grind against a drunk Ana, the way he tried to spike her drink.

The way his lips attempted to capture hers.

They're mine. She's mine.

It makes me sick just thinking about it.

But it's me she chose, It's me she came to, It's me that brought her out of those situations.

He's not taking away what we have. Never.

I need to sort this, no matter what the consequences.

I sigh, taking a deep breath, "You said…you said you didn't want secrets between us… I'm so sorry Ana, I hope you'll forgive me, I have something to tell you. I know you'll probably be angry with me for a very long time but I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner. When I first started with my company, there were talks of them buying SIP…. a while later the deal went through and we became a silent owner. Now that I own the company with the help of Ros, that means I now own SIP. I put your name forward to Jerry in the hope that if you'd applied to SIP, he might remember your name and give you a job. He did and they love you there so I hope I did the right thing. I'm so sorry Ana…I should have told you sooner"

She's quiet.

So quiet.

"Ana?" I look down.

Her eyes are closed, her breathing slowed, curled and cuddled against me, she's fallen asleep in my arms.

She didn't hear a single word.

Great.

I kiss the top of her head sadly and I hold her close to me.

I'll tell her again tomorrow, I sigh.

The seconds turn to minutes, the minutes turn to hours and before I know it I've spent the whole night overthinking.

At 5, I careful climb out of the bed, hopeful not to wake her and I make my way into the bathroom starting a shower.

I need a coffee.

A large one.

A strong one.

I'm so tired and anxious.

During the night, I've made the decision that I'll go into SIP today to speak with Jerry, I just hope Ana and I can talk before she goes so she's not too surprised when I walk in.

I let the water run over my body. Putting my face under the hot water, letting it trickle down my face, through my hair, down my neck.

Hoping to wash away all the overthinking from last night.

I'm not letting that prick work anywhere near Ana.

Jerry will understand, I'll tell him about his character, about his doings and hopefully, he will understand.

I know Ana will never leave there, she loves it too much. So I have to take plan B, make sure that prick doesn't start there.

I'm sure Jerry will understand, right?

By the time I've got out of the shower, dressed and headed into the kitchen to start breakfast it's already 7am.

While I'm sat here eating a slice of toast and sipping my coffee, I hear the ruffle of noises coming from the bedroom. Then the bathroom then back into the bedroom.

What is she doing?

The footsteps get louder and quicker and the next thing I know Ana is rushing out of the bedroom putting her hair up into a high ponytail.

"I'm going to be so late!" She panics as she's rushing around the apartment looking for her earrings and then her bag.

"Do you want breakfast?" I watch her as she finally looks into the mirror at her appearance.

"I have no time, I'll grab something on my break or something, so sorry to rush, I forgot to set my alarm" She walks to the counter and leans up kissing me gently.

"Can we talk before you go?" I gently cup her cheek.

"Can we talk later? I really have to go" She smiles against my lips kissing me once more before running off grabbing her coat.

"But…I…" I go to walk after her as she walks to the door.

"I'll see you tonight, I love you" With that she closes the door and she's gone.

Fuck sake.

"I'll see you in an hour" I sigh replying to a closed door.

She's going to fucking hate me when she finds out.

My phone pings and I smile seeing her name, for now, I can relish in her happy state until she turns disappointed in me.

_'I'm so sorry I was rushing, you know how I hate being late. What did you want to talk about? Is it bad? I'm finishing around 4 today so I'll treat you to dinner later. I love you, my husband xxx'_

I sigh smiling softly, seeing the last part.

_'It's okay, you were just as bad during College, always the first one in the room every single day ;) You looked beautiful this morning regardless of the rush. Dinner would be great, I'll come home around the same time and we can chat over dinner. I love you, my wife xxx'_

After that, I start to get ready myself, my first stop.

SIP.

This is going to be fun.

Taylor follows me inside as I head to the front desk.

"Mr. Grey… Welcome to SIP"

The receptionist gazes up at me with big googly eyes and I raise an eyebrow at her attempts to woo me with her eyes.

She realizes my wife is upstairs right? Works in the building?

"Yes, thanks, I have a meeting with Jerry Roach"

"Of course sir, If you just take the stairs to the second floor and his office is right at the back of that floor"

"Thanks" I already know where his office is, I own this place, but I'm guessing no one actually knows that.

I start to take my leave until I hear her chirpy little voice again, "May I say you look wonderful today Mr. Grey."

"My wife thinks so too" I roll my eyes a little annoyed at her attempts before making my leave up to the stairs.

I know Ana is now placed on this floor since her promotion too. I'm going to have to walk straight past her to head to Jerry's office.

As I make the last few steps I'm walking through the floor when I see Ana.

She's sat at her desk deep into a manuscript.

This is where she belongs. This is her job.

Jack can fuck off if he thinks he's ruining that for her.

I'll sort this.

I walk closer and closer to his office ready to knock at his door.

"Christian?"

Busted.

I turn looking and Ana is eyeing me up curiously from her desk.

"Hey" I move towards her desk and I gently stroke her hair behind her ear.

"What are you doing here?" She smiles brightly standing and Leans up pecking my lips which I willingly reciprocate.

"I have a meeting with Mr. Roach" I smile and gently strokes her cheek but she looks up at me curiously.

"Why?"

"Just trust me okay? I'll explain later"

She looks dubious but nods slightly leaning into my touch.

"I have to go, I'll see you for that dinner, okay baby?" I lean down kissing her forehead making her smile.

She moves back to her desk and I move to Jerry's door, knocking.

"Come in!"

I walk in smiling, taking a deep breath for bravery.

You got this Christian, you're doing it for Ana.

"Good Morning Jerry"

"Christian! How are you? Please take a seat….. How was the honeymoon? No taking my favorite employee away with babies anytime soon, you hear me?! She's been amazing here" He laughs teasingly.

I chuckle at his choice of words as I sit down, I'm glad he likes Ana.

Babies though.

That's something that hasn't popped into my mind.

Something Ana and I haven't quite discussed.

Is that a honeymoon thing?

Shit, does Ana want kids now?

Stop overthinking Christian, stop it. I scold myself and brings myself out of the abyss that is my thoughts.

"The honeymoon was amazing thank you sir, and Ana is pretty amazing isn't she?" I smile looking out through the window of his office seeing her sat there, chewing the end of her pen as she reads.

He's right she is amazing.

"So what can I do for you today?"

"Well…. I believe a man was interviewed here yesterday by the name of Jack Hyde?"

"let me just check through Elizabeth's notes," He says pulling out the folder and searching through, "Ah yes…right here, he did very well apparently"

"He would have" I grumble in annoyance.

"Is there something about him?"

"Yes, I would like his name to be removed and to never be hired here. He isn't what you think he is, no matter how well his interview went or how confident he was, I can assure you, Jerry, hiring him is a huge mistake. I didn't want to get too much involved with this company after the deal went through as I trust your work 100 percent. But I needed to warn you of this, and I refuse to let him be hired here."

"How do you know this? Has something happened?"

"I've known Jack for years, and Ana has for some time too. He and I have had some complications. In the past, He's also drugged Ana and tried to force himself on her. I've witnessed him do this with many women and now with Ana working here, I can't have the possibility of it happening it again. I'd like your word that I can trust he won't be hired here"

"Seriously? Shit.. what a dick, excuse my language. Thank you for letting me know, I would hate for anything to happen to any of the girls here. You have my word, In fact, I'll call him right now to tell him he has been unsuccessful" He says as he shakes his head pulling up the phone and typing into the screen.

It rings.

Rings.

Rings.

"Hello?"

I sit back listening.

"Is this Jack Hyde?"

"It is, is this SIP?"

"It is yes….I'm calling to inform you that you have been unsuccessful In receiving a job offer at this time, I apologize and wish you luck for the future"

A laugh emits from the other end of the phone and Jerry and I look at each other in confusion.

"I've been expecting this…Let me guess… Mr. Hot Shot golden boy Christian Grey and his bitch of a girlfriend got involved. Well if you could pass on a message to them from me, let them know that it's nice to know I can still push their buttons, the job wasn't what I wanted."

The phone goes dead.

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	45. Chapter 45

Chapter 45…

I managed to finish work early today after editing 2 manuscripts and handing them over to Mr Roach for inspection. Christian said he'll try to finish earlier too.

I make my way home and I'm a little excited for us to head out to dinner.

I've managed to get us reservations for a lovely terrace restaurant in the city centre for 7 pm. The views from there are incredible and I figured 7 was a decent time for us both to get ready and settle home from work.

With Christian leaving for Los Angeles the day after tomorrow, I wanted to make sure we spend time together.

I'm still curious as to why he came to SIP today, but he asked me to trust him and I do, with my whole heart.

He said we'll discuss it tonight, so I'm intrigued, I must admit.

I think it might be something to do with the fact that Jack had an interview, but I'm not entirely sure what he can do.

Anyway, as he said, we'll talk about it tonight.

I'm actually quite excited for dinner and I'm glad when I walk into the apartment Christian isn't home yet.

I want to make an effort for him tonight, so I take a quick shower.

I pull on a black lace V neck dress that lands above the knee at my mid-thigh and shows off a little bit of my cleavage.

We're married now, I know he loves me, but I still want to keep making these efforts for him.

Under my dress, I wear a black lace bralette that clasps at the front and a black lace thong to match.

I'm hoping tonight..maybe…we could…well you know, before he leaves. I still get embarrassed.

I'll miss him when he's gone, so we need to make the most of it now even though he'll only be gone for 3 days, to us it'll be like a lifetime.

I sit at my vanity table in our bedroom gazing into the mirror as I add a small amount of makeup, a little mascara and eyeliner and a little foundation and blush.

I gaze into my makeup bag finding a red coloured lipstick making my lips curl into a smirk.

Tonight, I want to be seductive. Tonight, I want him to want me. Tonight, I want him.

He's changed me in so many ways, and this is just one of the many changes. Since our first time, I have relished in every touch, in every kiss, in every hold, in every time we've made love, I find myself constantly craving more of him.

Lately, with work, we haven't had much time, but I need to make the effort, I need to make the time for him, for us.

I move to stand and makes my way over to the mirror gazing at my reflection. The dress hugging my curves perfectly, my makeup simple but seductive thanks to the red lipstick. I pull on my heels and makes my way into the living room gazing at the clock.

It's only 4.30 now, he shouldn't be too much longer.

The time starts to pass.

And pass.

And pass.

6 pm chimes on the clock and I sigh starting to remove my heels when the door finally opens revealing Christian and Taylor.

As soon as he enters the apartment his eyes immediately find me and they're full of guilt and sorrow.

"Ana I am so sorry I'm late…I can explain it all later, I'll make us new reservations, we can still go out if you want to?" He walks to me sadly and he kneels in front of me taking my hand stopping me from removing my heels. His eyes gaze over my outfit, then my makeup, then back down my body, then back to my eyes.

I can see the apology in his eyes. He seems tense, exhausted, worried even.

I wonder if something is on his mind?

I wonder if he'll talk to me about it.

I wonder if he'll tell me.

I wonder he is so late.

I can't be mad at him, he's here now and that's all that matters.

"You look amazing Ana, fuck I'm so sorry"

"You're here now, it's okay" I smile gently cupping his cheek and I lean down kissing him. I can feel him relax at my kiss. That's better. "I made the reservations for 7 anyway just in case one of us got caught late" I smile and he moves his hands cupping both my cheeks and kisses me again.

"You are incredible, you know that?" I blush and he pecks my lips again, "I'm just gonna grab a change of clothes and I'll be right out okay?"

"Okay" I smile more watching him walk into the bedroom and I buckle my heels before moving to grab my bag.

Taylor is stood by the door and he's whispering through his earpiece, "We need to know a location immediately, Mr Grey won't stop until we find him".

He doesn't realise I'm stood behind him collecting my bag until he turns and his reaction at seeing me suddenly becomes a little sheepish at being caught.

"What's Christian up to Taylor?"

"He's going to talk to you tonight Mrs Grey, it's not my place to say" He looks apologetically.

What the hell is going on?

"He seems tense and irritable," I say with a sigh.

"He is Mrs Grey, but you'll understand later, don't worry too much, go and enjoy your dinner" He nods and takes his stance back by the door frame for protection.

Now I am worried.

I make my way towards the bedroom and the door is cracked open ever so slightly and I see him sat at the end of our bed, his new clothes on, but his tie undone.

He's gazing down at a picture.

Our picture.

It's the picture I keep on my bedside table of us from the wedding. Our first dance to be exact.

Our foreheads are rested against each other's, both of us gazing into each other's eyes as our lips hold the brightest of smiles. It's my favourite photo from that day.

But why is he sat here staring at it?

My heart races slightly and my anxiety and overthinking starts to rise.

He doesn't regret it, does he?

Surely not.

I mean, he wouldn't? couldn't?

I bite my lip. I need to know what's going on sooner rather than later before my brain convinces me of the worst-case scenario.

I gently knock at the wood and I watch as he quickly moves the picture back to its original place.

I give a small smile, trying not to give my insecurity away.

"Need some help?" I gesture to his tie.

He nods standing and I move to him. I don't look up at him as I keep my gaze at his tie.

His hands move to my waist as I make my attempts at his tie. I gently push it up to his neck and smiles. "There, all done" I gently rest my hands against his chest and I finally allow my eyes to move and gaze up into his.

He looks sad, He looks worried, he looks, I don't know.

"I love you" I whisper as his eyes bore into mine as if he needs something from me. I hope It's enough.

"I love you more" He whispers back and his one hand moves from my waist and rests gently against my cheek as he kisses me softly.

I smile against his lips, whispering back, "That's impossible".

With that, I gain a smile from him.

"I am sorry I was so late, I did plan to be home by 4 but I'll explain everything later okay? You look absolutely incredible tonight"

"No need to apologise, you're here now and we still have time" I blush at his last words, "let's go for dinner" I smile and I gently take his hand, lacing our fingers.

We make our way to the car and I give Taylor the name of the restaurant.

Christian's hand rests against my thigh as we sit in the back, my hand rested over the top of his with a smile.

We soon arrive at the place and Christian's hand moves around my waist as we walk inside and take the elevator up the 12th floor to the restaurant terrace.

"Good Evening Mr and Mrs Grey….we have your table right this way" The waitress smiles and escorts us to a corner table right next to the railings allowing us to gaze out at the city. Candles lit in the centre and a bottle of champagne on ice.

"Thank you" I smile at the waitress as she hands us the menu.

"I'll give you a moment and I'll come back to take your orders"

I nod appreciatively and watches her go.

Christian smiles over at me and takes my hand across the table.

"Thank you for this, I really needed it"

I gently squeeze his hand and laces our fingers nodding as we begin to look through the menu.

"What are you fancying?"

"You in that dress…." He smirks teasingly and it sends shivers right between my thighs.

My cheeks turn a rosy red and he chuckles at my reaction.

I bite my lip and smirks back, "That's dessert for later…I hope you like what's underneath too, I wanted to surprise you" I whisper and I watch as he swallows and shifts in his seat.

See, I can tease too Mr Grey!

The waitress comes back and Christian orders the salmon while I decide on the Lasagne.

We sit there, smiling, laughing, talking, reminiscing our wedding as we wait for our meal.

I love hearing about his favourite moments of our special day. It fills my heart.

But still, even though his mood has lightened, I know we still need to talk.

I hate to ruin the mood now he's more relaxed than earlier but I'm still overthinking it.

I gently stroke my thumb across his knuckles.

"So….did you want to talk now?" I bite my lip a little nervously and I watch as his face visibly drops.

"I don't want you to be angry with me…" He sighs and looks down.

"Why would I be angry?"

"I've kept a secret from you, and I'm so sorry I did, but I thought I was doing the right thing…I didn't think it would matter, I thought I was doing the best for you"

Now I'm worried.

"Christian, just tell me, you're worrying me now"

He sips from his champagne before looking at me seriously. He takes a deep breath.

"When I first started my job there were rumours that they were going to buy SIP. It wasn't doing so well at the time, and well, my company wanted to go into publishing and they thought SIP was a great investment because of the reviews it has. The deal went through and we owned it… You had an interview offer in New York and I was scared. I was scared that was it for us and I wanted you here with me so badly. I wanted to help you in any way I could and I knew SIP was your dream. I did the business meetings with Jerry and during one of the meetings, I dropped your name into the conversation. I was hoping that if I spoke to him about you, maybe if you had applied he would remember your name and give you a chance"

I look at him, trying to process all of this.

Am I hearing this right?

"So…so you own SIP?"

He nods looking at me, biting his cheek in worry. I can tell.

Is he telling me that I only have this job because of him?

None of this was my doing? It was all because of him and his name.

I look down at my champagne glass, thinking.

"Ana…say something…please"

He looks at me pleadingly.

"I…I don't know…I don't know what I'm supposed to say"

"Are you mad at me?"

"I…I don't know. You've just told me that I only have this job thanks to you, I didn't do anything to get it. Not only that, this means you're now my bosses. bosses boss. You've messed with my work Christian, it's my job. I feel so… so… useless now, I didn't get this job because of me and my achievements, I got this job because of you"

My panic starts to grow.

Does anyone else know about this?

How the hell did this happen?

I'm actually shaking.

I feel useless and pathetic.

"That's not true, I mentioned your name, yes, but they hired you because they liked you, Ana, because of how well you worked and how well you did with college. It was Jerry's idea about the promotion, I didn't know anything about it I swear. It was all ultimately his idea to hire you, I just planted the seed"

I scoff, "Planted the seed? Christian this is my job, everyone is now going to think that I only got this job because of you. That's probably why Mr Roach gave me the promotion because you pumped millions of dollars into his business and knows I'm your wife!"

"Ana, it's not like that, please… I promise you I was just trying to help. No one else knows I own it, I'm a silent buyer"

I sit back and sips my champagne.

My brain running 100 miles per hour with billions of thoughts.

What am I even supposed to say to this?

What am I even supposed to do?

How am I supposed to feel about this?

"Why didn't you tell me before?" I look at him.

"I did, last night but…I didn't realise you'd fallen asleep"

I sigh sadly and I sit up a little more looking at him.

"I mean you've been there a long-time Christian, why didn't you just tell me your company was looking to buy it when you first found out?"

"I didn't think it mattered," He says honestly, "I just wanted to help you get your dream job and I wanted you with me here in Seattle. It might sound selfish when it's worded like that, but you said yourself New York would have never worked and I knew you were the one I wanted to be with for the rest of my life. I didn't want to lose you" He looks down in defeat.

I watch him for a moment, I'm not sure what I should feel.

I'm not sure If I should be angry he kept this from me, or if I should be grateful he got me the job.

His words hit me right in the heart. I know New York wouldn't have worked either. I hated being away from him too. I can't be angry at him because in a way he's fought for us, he fought so hard. In his own way, the only way he's known is to deal with things himself. To keep me in his life, that's what he's done, he's dealt with it himself and kept me here.

I simply sigh and reaches for his hand and he looks up at me in surprise at the contact.

Putting two and two together and getting four, finally. It makes sense now.

"You came to SIP to make sure Jack didn't get hired didn't you because you have the power to do so"

He simply nods, "I wanted you to be safe, I wanted to protect you. After everything in the past, I couldn't let him be in that building with you".

I nod understanding. I'm glad about that. I was nervous that I would have to work with him every day.

The waitress brings our food over and I have to let go of his hand to give room for the food but I see his gaze sadden at the loss of contact.

It makes my heart hurt seeing him so despaired. I'm disappointed he didn't tell me, but I couldn't be angry with him. I believe he did it for the right reasons.

I smile at the waitress thanking her and once she's gone I move the napkin onto my lap as I talk.

"So what happened with the Jack situation?"

"I told Jerry about his character, and various other things, then Jerry called him right there in front of me to tell him he had been unsuccessful. Jack simply laughed and claimed he never wanted the job anyway but he's glad he still knows how to push my buttons. The reason I came home late tonight is because when I got back to my office after visiting SIP, there was a parcel there for me. Tons of pictures of me in foster care, all captioned with things like 'Do you remember me?' 'You're going to pay'. It was a parcel from Jack, but I don't understand it, I don't remember my life back then, I don't remember those days, they were so dark and cold. Now I'm worried about what he'll do. We've been trying to look for him, my security, but he's gone off the grid and we can't find him anywhere. I'm worried he's going to do something. If anything happened to you…." He clenches his jaw together as if the thoughts are physically paining him.

What the hell?

I watch him sadly.

No wonder he was so worried.

His past is coming back to haunt him once again.

Just when I thought I helped him through so many dark chapters of his life, a new chapter is being written. A chapter he can't remember.

He's also worried about me.

That's what all this is about.

"I'm not mad at you…" I say as I move my chair to end so I'm sitting beside him instead. I think he needs the closeness, he needs comfort and honestly? So do I.

"You're not?" He looks shocked.

I shake my head and I take his hand in mine, "You did it all with good intentions, I do feel a little disappointed that it wasn't entirely me that got This job, but it's thanks to you I have it, it's thanks to you I have this wonderful life and I wouldn't change it. I love you so much, Christian. We can figure this out together, I'm not going anywhere. But please, just promise me one thing?"

"Anything Ana, I promise, anything you want"

"No more secrets okay?"

"I can do that" His lips curl into a small smile, "and I love you too" He leans forward in the now small space between us after me shuffling my chair closer to him, and he kisses me gently.

We soon dig into our dinner and enjoy the rest of our evening.

Now everything is aired, now everything has been said, now I know what's happened, we both enjoy the rest of the night.

He's become calmer, he's smiling again, he's laughing again.

We know there's more to talk of, we know there's more to worry about.

But for now, for tonight, that's enough.

We'll worry about the rest tomorrow.

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	46. Chapter 46

Chapter 46…

Today has been an absolute whirlwind.

The worry of telling Ana about me owning SIP has haunted me all day. She's going to be so mad with me I just know it. Hopefully, I can make it up to her.

Once I've been to the meeting with Jerry at SIP. Hearing jack on the phone sent worrying shivers through my entire my body. I head back to my office to think it out and prepare for my trip to Los Angeles but when I arrive Andrea tells me of a package delivery.

Jack's voice on the phone at SIP starts alarm bells ringing in my mind.

I haven't ordered anything and I'm not expecting anything either so I bring Taylor into my office to open it with me. I pull out each and every photograph.

It's me.

Five year old little me.

My eyes widen and the memories from my past are brought back to life.

The cigarettes.

The chasing.

The fights.

The fists.

The belts.

The shoes.

The boots.

The burns.

The shouting.

The hiding.

The cries.

The terror.

The nightmares.

Everything I thought I had overcome thanks to Ana has suddenly just cursed itself back into my mind and haunted me.

A boy next to me looks familiar, I look through all the photos and he's in every single one.

It's Jack.

It's Jack fucking Hyde.

I don't remember being with him in Foster care?

But I also don't remember much around that time.

"Taylor, I need a location on him and when you find him I need to know as soon as possible. He's up to something and I need to know what it is"

"Yes sir"

Taylor starts his search, sending men to do the job.

I stare down at the photos in front of me, then I see the captions on the back.

'Remember me?'

'Do you remember what you did?'

'You're going to pay for what you did'

'You took everything from me'

'Golden fucking grey'

'The boy with no voice'

Photo after photo I remove until I get to the bottom of the box. I see an envelope with my name on it, I quickly open it.

_'Christian Grey, _

_I have waited years to watch you fail, but to my dismay, I now see your face all over the world. Newspapers, magazines, tabloid's, posters, even fucking buses. _

_I was hoping after College you'd turn into a nobody just Like I used to be. _

_Well, now the time has come for my payback after everything you did to me. You took it all, It should have been me. I should be where you are, but they chose you. _

_Now, It's my turn to take everything from you. _

_A life for a life._

_See you soon, golden boy. _

_J '_

My heart races.

What does this mean?

What's he talking about?

Taylor, Sawyer and a bunch of others use every piece of technology we can in an attempt to find him but he's nowhere to be found.

My guess is, he doesn't want to be found.

Fuck.

I run my hand through my hair and as I look up in frustration I see the clock hands at 5.30.

Fuck, Ana.

Where the hell did that time go?

I rush around grabbing my things and I rush home quickly.

When I enter the apartment, Ana is sat there about to remove her shoes.

I fucked up.

I rush over to her in my attempts to stop her, but she doesn't seem angry, she doesn't seem mad.

She just seems happy that I'm home.

"You're here now, that's all that matters"

She amazes me.

I move into the bedroom to quickly dress but I find myself gazing at the photo of our wedding day.

What if he hurts Ana?

A life for a life.

I want to know what I've done.

I want to know what happened back then.

I don't remember him before College, I'm so confused.

My mind is now raw and painful with the old memories of my birth Mom and her pimp.

As I pull my shirt off and put a new one on I gaze down at my scars.

Ana has never been bothered by them, not in the slightest, but to me, they hold so many horrible and disgusting memories.

How am I ever supposed to be a good father to Ana and I's children with the background I was born in to.

I gaze down at our wedding photo sighing sadly.

So many thoughts, so many negatives, but she's my positive.

I have to focus on her, I have to keep her safe, I have to protect her.

She walks in and I panic a little as I move the photo back to her stand.

"Need some help?" She gestures to my tie and I stand nodding.

She moves closer to me and I move my hands to her as she fixes my tie.

I hope she understands when I tell her everything.

We finally head to the restaurant and after an intense conversation, she seems to understand.

There's so much more I want to explain to her, the feelings and memories of my past, but for now, the emotions are too raw. I can still feel the pain I endured from all those years ago.

For now, I just need her, I need us, I need reassurance.

"I'm not mad at you…" I'm taken by surprise at her words. I thought she would have been so angry with me for keeping this from her. But maybe, because I've told the truth now, I've told her why and explained myself, maybe, just maybe she did understand.

"You're not?"

She shakes her head and reaches for my hand which I willingly take in mine tightly.

"You did it all with good intentions, I do feel a little disappointed that it wasn't entirely me that got this job, but it's thanks to you I have it, it's thanks to you I have this wonderful life and I wouldn't change it. I love you so much, Christian. But please, just promise me one thing?"

"Anything Ana, I promise, anything you want"

"No more secrets okay?"

"I can do that" My smile grows in agreement. "and I love you too" I lean forward in the now small space between us after she shuffled her chair closer to me, and I kiss her gently.

The rest of the evening goes well.

Although I'm still dreadfully worried about what's going to happen, I know for tonight there's nothing I can do and we just need to enjoy our time together.

"Anything else I can get you guys?" The waitress says smiling as she clears our plates.

It's then I realize we've been here for almost 3 hours and almost hitting 10 pm.

"Just the check please, can you just add it all to my card?" Ana says handing the waitress her card, I try to intervene but she's having none of it, telling me it's her treat. The waitress nods in reply. "thankyou" Ana says smiling at the waitress as she nods and makes her way to settle our check.

I lift her hand to my lips gently kissing against her knuckles.

She smiles brightly at me.

I love seeing her smile, the way she smiles at me.

Her eyes are full of love and tenderness.

"I love you so much" I whisper.

"I love you too" She smiles and pecks my lips, "Ready to head home?".

I reply nodding as we stand and make our way to retrieve Ana's card.

Taylor drives us home and we make our way into the apartment. Taylor and Sawyer both keep their position outside of the door tonight, which I'm kind of glad about.

We really need to find a new, bigger, more secure place.

We walk in and Ana moves to the sofa removing her heels before relaxing back smiling at me.

I kick off my shoes and moves to the kitchen grabbing two glasses and a bottle of wine before making my way back beside her.

I carefully pour the two glasses, handing her one as I sit on the couch sideways and I gently grasp her waist guiding her to sit into my lap facing out. She looks curious but smiles at the mystery.

"What are you doing?" She looks back over her shoulder at me smirking as she bites her lip.

The way she bites that lip. Fuck, my length twitches in my pants.

"You'll see"

I slowly move my fingers to the zipper on the back of her dress and I slowly pull it down pushing it down her arms. She moves her glass from one hand to another, letting the sleeves fall off her skin and finally her dress pools at the bottom of her back in my lap.

I gaze over the back of her lace bra making me bite my lip harder trying to control myself.

I move my hands up to her neck gently starting to massage against her skin, along her shoulders, down into her shoulder blades relieving the tension.

She smiles rolling her neck from side to side at my attempts.

I gain moan after moan from her and it starts my heart racing.

"Ana, if you keep that up I'm going to have to just take you into the bedroom"

She looks back over her shoulder, a little further around this time though. Her eyes gazing deeply into mine. A fire blazing deep inside the deep blue of her eyes. A lust.

We gaze at each other and she shifts a little further onto my lap.

"We could just…. maybe….stay here…."She bites her lip and it makes me groan.

I grip her waist and carefully turns her, moving her to face me, she reaches over putting her wine glass down before she gazes back at me. She moves her hair over her one shoulder before leaning down kissing me deeply, our tongues playing against each other in a war we both want to win.

Wanting.

Needing.

Loving.

Her hands move to my tie and slowly she undoes it, removing it from around my neck before she makes her attempts at the buttons on my shirt.

I kiss her eagerly, my hands moving to the front of her bra where her lace bralette clasps in the center between her breasts.

I unclip it and slides it down her arms, leaning up I kiss along her jaw.

Her head rolling to the side giving me more access as her eyes close letting small moans escape her lips.

"Take me into the bedroom" She whispers against my ear as I start to kiss down her chest while she straddles my waist.

I pull back and gazes up at her. Her eyes burning into mine.

I grip her ass lifting her up as I stand with her and I walk us into the bedroom plopping her down onto the bed. She giggles at the sensation of the bounce before she lays back gazing up at me smiling.

Fuck, she does so much to me, she has no idea.

I remove her dress completely and then her panties before I climb onto the bed with her, hovering over her kissing her deeply, my hands moving to find hers and I lace our fingers as I move them above her head, gently grinding against her core.

She whimpers against my mouth and arches her hips against me wanting the friction too.

"We have time" I whisper smirking.

Holding her hands above her head, I start my kisses all over her body, over every single part of skin I can find.

Her lips parted, her breathing quickened and I can see her heart physically beating under her skin.

I lean down kissing her lips again before my kisses move lower.

Lower.

Lower.

Lower.

I feel her body shake and shiver with each and every open-mouthed kiss I make, with each suck of her skin between my teeth, with each tender kiss I make.

My lips find her bud and my tongue goes to work between her thighs. Her body writhes at the contact. She tugs against the bedsheets and I smirk up at her as he eyes bore down into mine panting softly.

I make her reach her climax before climbing up kissing her deeply. Her breathing rapid as her body shakes in pleasure.

Her arms move immediately around my shoulders and she leans up kissing me passionately, eagerly, lustfully.

It's pure bliss, she's so turned on by my actions and I love it.

In one swift motion, I enter into her and she moans against my mouth.

Moaning.

Panting.

Whimpering all with pleasure.

Our bodies moving together, moving in unison. Our souls being tied forever.

The feeling every time we have sex gets better and better.

I'll never tire of making love to my wife. Ever.

After the worries of today, we both needed this, we both needed the release, we needed the comfort, we needed the passion, we needed the love.

We lay here in each other's arms, breathing heavily, our bodies glistening with after sex, curled against each other panting in an attempt to calm our bodies down.

She places a kiss over my heart with a smile against my skin and I gently run my hand through her hair.

"I love you."

"I love you".

I hold her close to me, thinking about today.

She means more to me than any business deal, more than any amount of money.

"I'm not going to Los Angeles"

"What?"

"I'm not leaving you knowing Jack is planning something, I don't want to come home to find you hurt, or worse and I wasn't here to protect you".

"But Christian, it's your job, your business"

"And you're my wife and you mean so much more to me than any of those and no amount of money could compare to you Ana"

I see the tears fill her eyes at my words and she starts to cry against my chest.

She sniffles softly and I gently lift her chin to look up at me, my thumb gently running along her cheekbone ridding her of the escaping tears.

"I love you so much" She sniffles sadly, "I just want everything to be okay".

"I'll send someone else, it'll be okay, while we can go find a new place to live, we can figure this situation out together… we can spend time together. Just us. Maybe go and visit our family, I know my Mom is missing you"

She laughs softly at that and wipes her eyes again as she cuddles back into my side.

"My Dad misses you too"

I smile.

"It's settled then, No Los Angeles".

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So….what do you all think is going to happen next?

I hope you're all still continuing to enjoy the story… Married life hasn't been easy for them so far has it? but I'm hoping my writing is keeping you all around and hasn't bored you all yet.

Update to come very soon.

Where's Jack? Who Knows!

What are your thoughts?

Stay tuned for more!


	47. Chapter 47

Chapter 47…

"Ana! You ready?" I hear him call me through the door, I smile excitedly opening it as he's halfway through his sentence making us both laugh.

I slowly snake my arms around his neck and tippy toes up towards his lips.

"I'm ready" My lips curl into a smile as I kiss him softly.

He smiles against my lips kissing me back, "Taylor's waiting outside for us, I still want him and Sawyer to join us just in case…my Mom and Dad have a spare room"

I nod smiling, "Okay".

I'm honestly so glad Christian didn't go to Los Angeles. As much as I know he should have gone for his business, I'm glad he's here with me now. I'm glad he stayed. We've both been on edge with the whole Jack situation and he's still nowhere to be found.

I'm still curious as to what has happened in the past, but as long as Christian is safe that's all that matters to me.

With him not going to Los Angeles it has been a relief for the both of us.

He sent Ros in his place and he trusts her with his life, so the business deal should go swimmingly. She was grateful for the time away too. He even told her to take an extra couple of days there for some relaxation time as a thankyou.

After working so hard at SIP and getting through over a week's worth of manuscripts, Mr Roach told me to take Saturday and Sunday off as there are only meetings going on there over the weekend anyway, and that I could head home at midday today, so I willingly took the offer.

Christian and I have decided to head back home and visit our family. It's been too long since we were all together. I miss my Dad and I can't wait to see him.

I already know Mia is overly excited to see us as she called us 3 times this morning wanting us to decide which restaurant to make reservations for so we can all head out to dinner tonight.

We're staying over for two nights, Friday and Saturday and we'll be staying with Christian's parents.

Dinner with everyone including my Dad Friday evening and then Mia, Kate and Elliot have all planned a night out for Saturday.

I'm surprisingly really excited.

It'll be nice to go back to where we met, where we have memories, where our families are and honestly? Just to be somewhere with just the two of us again, no rushing in and out of the apartment heading back and forth to work, no late-night eating because one of us is home late, no falling asleep in his arms as he's talking to me because I've been in work all day. I'm excited because it'll be like the old days, just us, just our love, no worries, no work, and just happiness.

I smile against his lips as he kisses me again. He lifts me up and spins me around making me giggle as he gazes up watching my expression. His smile growing more.

"You're in a good mood this afternoon" I smile cupping his cheeks.

"I'm looking forward to heading home with you, spending time just the two of us again with our family. It feels like a lifetime since the last time we were there"

I smile more and he puts me back down onto my feet as I keep my hands gently cupping his cheeks as I lean forward kissing him gently.

"I love you" I whisper smiling against his lips.

"I love you too" He grins.

My husband.

My wonderful, caring, loving husband.

"We'd better get going or Mia will start a riot if we don't make it in time for dinner" He smirks making me laugh.

He's right, I know he is.

I also know Mia is really looking forward to this weekend and is so excited we've been able to make it, she absolutely adores and looks up to Christian not that she'll admit it, but because she's leaving for Paris next weekend, she's mostly looking forward to him coming.

That's why she's called so often this morning, wanting to make sure we go to one of Christian's favourite places for dinner. They have such a great bond, and Elliot too.

I often wish I had siblings, but now with the way my life has turned out, I wish for nothing, because I have everything right here with me.

I smile up at Christian as we make our way down towards the cars.

"I'll drive us and Taylor an Sawyer are going to follow behind" He smiles opening the passenger door for me after he puts our cases into the trunk.

I nod smiling and climbs into the passenger seat.

This is perfect.

Just the two of us.

I smile as he climbs in and I start to mess around with the radio, trying to find a good station.

He takes off and with the sun blaring down I roll down the window and rests my head on my arm gazing out as we start to head out of the city. My hair blowing with the wind, my lips in a bright content smile.

I feel eyes on me and when I look towards Christian, he keeps taking small glances my way making me smile.

"You're so beautiful"

My cheeks blush a rosy pink, but I lean over placing a kiss to his cheek.

"And you're so handsome" I whisper as I peck his cheek making him chuckles softly.

His one hand reaches across and rests against my knee just below where my denim skirt ends.

"Watching you then was like watching you back in College when I used to give you a ride" He smiles.

"That seems like forever ago" I giggle softly and rests my hand on top of his.

He turns his palm in mine and laces our fingers making my heart flutter.

"Who knew this long later, we'd be married, with our dream jobs" He smiles as his gaze stays on the road.

"I always had a feeling we'd somehow end up together, I just..I don't know, fate, maybe?" I smile over at him.

"I always hoped we would" He gazes back at me smiling more.

Thinking back to those times and to look at Christian now, the difference in him has been absolutely miraculous.

From the angry scared lost college boy to a confident, proud and happy CEO of the biggest company in Seattle.

My heart swells with proudness.

"What?"

"What?"

"You're staring at me and smiling" He smirks.

"Am I not allowed to stare and smile at my husband?" I grin teasingly.

"Stare and smile all you want baby" We both laugh together as he squeezes my hand.

This feels so much more us compared to the last couple of weeks.

Both stressed and rushing with work. But now carefree, happy and relaxed.

This is my favourite us.

We soon pull into the driveway of Christian's parents and I smile up at it.

This house has always been so beautiful to me, filled with so many memories and the features and build of it is absolutely exquisite.

I smile climbing out and Christian's Mom opens the door smiling brightly as she rushes down to greet us, Carrick not far behind her.

They're such loving and supportive people, they truly are amazing.

She rushes to Christian hugging him tightly and then kissing his cheek.

"Hey, Mom." He hugs her back looking at me over her shoulder making me laugh.

"My darling boy, look at you" She cups his cheek smiling proudly.

Carrick moves to me hugging me gently and I smile greeting him, then we switch.

Grace takes me into a Mamma bear hug, cupping my cheeks, gazing over me, kissing my cheeks, making me laugh as I hug her back just as tightly.

"You both look absolutely wonderful my darlings, we've all missed you both so much, we're so excited to have you here"

It has been a long time.

"We're excited to come too, it has been too long," I say smiling as Christian moves to me, putting his arm around my waist and I notice it's the exact same way Carrick has his arm around Grace too.

"We're lucky to get the time off work" Christian smiles at me and I nod in agreement.

"It's been a little hectic"

"Married newbies" She grins winking, "You'll figure out a routine soon enough though".

I laugh softly as they guide us up into the house.

"Mia has gone shopping for an outfit for dinner and Elliot is heading to pick Kate up from work, so you have some quiet for about an hour," Carrick says teasingly making us all laugh.

"Are you both still okay to stay in your old room Christian?"

"Yeah of course, Is it okay if our security takes the spare room?"

"Of course darling anything you need" She kisses his cheek once more.

She loves him so so much, it's adorable to see.

"Thanks, Mom".

"We'll be in the gardens if you need anything okay? And Mia has the dinner reservations for 6"

"Perfect" I smile more and Christian and I make our way upstairs.

We take our cases into Christian's old room, and Christian heads to the spare room with Taylor and Sawyer to get them set up.

I smile sitting at the end of his bed gazing around.

We haven't stayed here since before I moved to Seattle. It's so weird thinking this is where we'll be sleeping for the weekend. College memories flashing back through my mind making me smile.

The door opens and Christian smiles looking over at me as he closes the door behind him.

"You okay?"

I nod gazing up at him smiling softly, "Yeah, we haven't stayed here for so long"

He looks around and nods moving to sit beside me, "It's been a while… Nothings changed though" He chuckles.

"Your Mom probably wanted to keep it as it was" I smile and he nods agreeing.

The time goes by and we start to get ready for dinner, Mia and Kate whisking me away to get ready with them as Elliot and Christian head into the gardens with their beers.

"You look different" Kate smirks gazing over my body as the burgundy cocktail style dress hugs my curves.

"I feel different" I laugh softly smiling and turns to gaze at myself in the mirror.

"Married life suits you Ana"

"Yeah, I think it does," I say and she laughs handing me a glass of wine which I willingly take.

"Any news on you and Elliot yet?"

"I'm not sure you know…he's been a little distant lately, I'm not sure he wants this anymore".

She sighs sitting on the end of Mia's bed, "Work has been hectic for the both of us, the less time we spend together the more distant he gets".

Mia comes out wearing an amazing navy coloured dress that flows down to her ankles and takes a seat next to us and sips her wine too.

"Awww Kate, he loves you, we can all see that, even Christian. Work is a bump in the road, I understand that, Christian and I have barely had any time since we came home from Europe".

"Is it hard?" She says as she sips her wine.

"It is sometimes, especially when I come home and he's already asleep or vice versa, but it'll get easier when things calm down and we get into a routine"

"I hope we can work it out"

"You will Kate" I hug her gently from one side as Mia hugs her from the other.

"I've missed you" Kate smiles sadly.

"We both have" Mia sighs as our arms entwined around each other.

"I've missed you too". I say honestly, I wish I had more time for girls nights.

Once my makeup is done I head down into the gardens smiling holding my glass of wine.

"Ana, you look absolutely stunning" Grace smiles brightly.

"So do you, Grace I love your dress"

"Thank you darling" She smiles more and Christian moves to me kissing the top of my head.

"You look beautiful" He smiles moving his arm around my waist.

"Thank you" I smile more and leans into his wonderful touch.

We make our way out to dinner to one of the restaurants we all went to before.

"Dad!" I smile brightly rushing to him as he's already seated at the table.

"Annie! My girl" He smiles standing and I wrap my arms around him tightly.

"I've missed you so much" I smile up at him and he kisses the top of my head.

"I missed you too sweetheart, how have you been? How is the promotion going?"

"We've been good yeah, the job is incredible! More than I ever could have hoped for" I smile brightly and I take the seat beside him, Christian at my other while Mia sits beside him.

Kate, Elliot, Grace and Carrick all opposite us on the other side of the table.

Christian and I both ordered the steak and Carrick ordering 4 bottles of wine for us all to share.

We laugh, we joke, we smile, we story tell, we ask questions. The night flows by easily, after the 4 bottles of wine are gone, Christian decides to order more. Another 2 bottles for the table.

After a couple of drinks, I stand smiling and I gently stroke Christian's shoulder whispering, "I'm gonna head to the bathroom" He nods replying.

Grace looks up at me smiling, "Are you going to the ladies room darling?".

I nod smiling.

"Ooooh I'll come with you" She smiles standing and takes my arm as we head towards the bathrooms.

We make small talk heading to the bathrooms, conversation mainly being about Christian and how he's doing and how proud she is of him and how much he has changed thanks to me.

Once I peed and I head out of the cubicle to wash my hands, Grace is waiting for me smiling.

"You look different" She smiles more gazing me up and down.

"I do? Kate said that too" I look curious as I look down at myself then back to her. What do they even mean? How does someone look different?

"You're glowing" She smiles more.

"Are you and Christian…..are you?" She says as if looking for the right words.

I giggle softly, "Are we what?"

"Are you expecting?" She says a little excitedly and I feel my eyes turn wide. Wide enough to be the size of flying saucers.

If I had a drink in my mouth right now, it certainly would have been spat back out.

"Oh….no….uhm…no….we've been busy and we're looking for a new place to live… definitely not expecting" I laugh nervously.

"Are you sure? That glow you have….Just ignore me, sweetheart, I'm just a hopeful old Mother" She smiles, "Maybe it's just from the wedding and honeymoon, it's still fresh for you" She tries to pass off the question and move on. "Anyway…a new place? Christian never said, that's wonderful" She smiles more linking my arm again as we make our way out to the table.

I retake my seat and that's when my mind starts to overthink.

A glow? What glow? I'm so confused.

But now I'm worried at the same time.

I think back to all the times we've had sex and I know neither of us has used protection.

We haven't spoken properly about having a baby, but neither of us brought up the subject of protection either.

Great.

My heart races in panic as I gaze at the glass of wine.

What if I am and I've been drinking?

But then what if I'm not.

What will Christian think if I am?

Does he want kids?

"Are you okay?" Christian whispers as his hand moves under the table pulling me out of my thoughts.

I nod, "I'll tell you later" I bite my lip nervously. He looks curious but nods accepting my answer.

For the rest of the meal, I continue my conversations with everyone, continue the questions, continue the catch-up.

Mainly catching up with my Dad as he tells me about his greenhouse and the vegetables he's started growing and the flowers in the garden. I can't wait to see them tomorrow.

But despite the chats, I can't push what Grace said away.

Is it bad if it makes me feel a little excited? The thought of carrying Christians child.

Maybe we need to talk about this.

Christian gently squeezes my thigh smiling before he winks at Elliot across the table.

I watch as Elliot takes a deep breath and stands smiling moving to the end of the table.

Everyone looks curious and Kate even more so.

"So….I've waited for us all to be together to be able to do this" He looks nervous.

Is he?

He's not?

He reaches into his pocket and I gasp, as does Mia, Grace and Kate.

"I never thought I'd meet anyone I want to spend the rest of my life with, now I have, I want to make you mine" He smiles at Kate and she starts to cry as he moves down onto one knee.

Everyone clapping and cheering enthusiastically.

"Kate, will you marry me?"

"Yes…Yes….Yes!" She holds her hand out allowing him to slip it on before they both stand, her arms moving around his neck kissing him gently.

Christian's arm moves up my thigh a little further making me smile more and turn towards him.

He leans closer pecking my lips softly.

"I love you"

"I love you too".

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	48. Chapter 48

Chapter 48…

"Earth to Ana..where'd you go?" He chuckles running his hand through my hair.

"Hmm?"

"I asked if you wanted some water, or tea…I'm going to grab a glass of water" He smiles.

I hadn't even realized he was talking to me. My mind reeling with thoughts.

"Sorry, I'm just tired" I smile softly and curls under the blankets gazing down at him as he climbs off the bed and pulls his pajama pants on. "Tea would be lovely though, thankyou".

He smiles nodding and rests his knee onto the side of the bed and leans down kissing me softly before he leaves for the kitchen downstairs.

I gaze around his old room. So many memories here. I smile thinking back to them.

Then I think to Grace tonight. I climb off the bed and moves to the mirror gazing at my body.

"Glowing? I don't see anything" I grumble to myself.

I stare at my stomach sighing.

What if I am pregnant?

The thought never even crossed my mind.

How will Christian react?

I feel nervous but excited at the same time.

Then my thoughts go to Jack. If he's planning something, plotting. What is he going to do?

I feel like a bag of nerves right now and I make my way back to the bed and crawls under the blankets waiting for him to come back.

My eyes open and I gaze around a dark room, only one small bout of light piercing into my eyes. I look down and I'm sat on a small wooden chair. My hands duct-taped behind me, tugging at my skin as it's attached to the barrels of the chair.

My mouth covered with tape too, I try to scream but nothing emerges due to the tasteless cloth forced between my teeth. I try to rip my hands out but the tape onto digs into my skin fiercely burning it with the friction causing it to bleed.

I hear a laugh, a venomous, piercing, mocking laugh.

"You'll never escape" He smirks.

I whimper beneath the tape across my lips, my eyes pouring with tears.

"You'll escape when Christian comes to save you, oh…but wait…he's not coming. Is he?" He smirks more moving closer to me.

He grips my cheeks hard and rips my head up to look at him causing my neck to crack slightly.

I have no idea how long I've been here, but the ache in my body indicates that it's been a while.

I stare up at him, my eyes are lifeless and tear-stained.

"He's not coming because he doesn't want that thing growing inside of you, does he? You told him you were carrying his child and he fucking left you" He drops my face as he takes a step away laughing at me.

My head droops down pained, exhausted and drained.

"You wouldn't get rid of the fucking thing so he left you high and dry, not fit to be a father he said and he's right. He's not!" Jack spits on the floor in front of me.

"He still loves you though, doesn't he? A life for a life… I wonder how he would feel if you died and he never came to save you. I wonder how he'd feel knowing I did it" He smirks more as his leg raises and kicks against the back of the chair sending me flying against the ground. The back of my head cracking against the concrete.

That didn't sound very good.

I try to rip my hands out of the tape to move to my stomach to protect the baby, our baby. But with one swift movement, Jack's foot comes into contact with my ribs.

I cry out in pain and panic. Don't hurt my baby, please don't hurt my baby. Please don't. The tears roll down my cheeks.

Another swift and quick movement send another kick to my stomach.

"Fucking Christian Grey isn't such a Golden Boy now is he! He left you! He left you just like his mother left him!"

I feel a clench in my stomach, I feel the liquid pooling between my legs. I look down and there's blood surrounding my entire body.

My baby.

Our baby.

He didn't leave me, he wouldn't, he couldn't.

No!

No!

I try to yell out but the tape subdues any sounds.

I feel my heart racing.

Racing.

Faster.

Faster.

Faster.

Faster.

"Ana….Ana….Ana….ANA!"

I feel soft hands against my shoulders and my eyes pop open.

I jolt up in bed panting, sweating, shaking.

My body a pool of sweat, full of panic and terror.

I look around.

I'm in Christian's room.

It was just a dream.

Just a dream.

My heart is racing like never before.

It seemed so real.

The tears start to form in my eyes and I feel Christian cup my cheeks.

"Ana…look at me…look at me!" He says seriously. His voice is full of worry and concern.

I look up at him but due to my tears, he's all blurry.

"It was just a dream baby, it was just a dream, come here" He moves his arms around me tightly and just holds me.

His hand running through my hair and rubbing up and down my back trying to soothe me.

"It's okay…I'm here" He whispers as he lays us down and just holds me against him as he kisses the top of my head.

I nuzzle into his neck sniffling softly as I slowly but surely calm in his arms.

It was all a dream.

He's here.

He would never leave me.

He continues his soothing actions for a while longer until I calm and he breaks the silence.

"Do you..do you want to talk about it?" He says, a hint of nervousness in his voice.

He knows all too well about nightmares after his own.

I bite my lip thinking and closes my eyes before I start to talk, "You left me"

"What?"

"In the dream…you left me and Jack…he..he took me and I was tied to a chair…there was blood, so much blood" The tears start to reform in my eyes and I quickly close them tightly in an attempt to rid the images and the tears.

"I'll never leave you, Ana, never ever" He leans forward gently cupping my cheek, his thumb slowly caressing over my cheekbone.

I slowly move to sit up, I look at him seriously.

"Even if I was pregnant?"

It's silent.

Too silent.

I look at him.

His eyes are wide, I see the vein in his neck pulsating. Is it nerves? Is it anger? Is it excitement?

I can't tell.

My own heart starts to thump and grind in my chest.

His hand is still on my cheek but his thumb movements have stopped.

It's like he's frozen.

Just frozen there, staring at me wide-eyed.

It's still silent.

"Christian?" I say quietly, my voice shaking with worry.

I watch him.

His expression has changed slightly, it's no longer frozen still, but he seems to be thinking.

I fear my heart may pound out of my chest as I continue to wait for his response.

"Y…You….You-re? You're pregnant?"

At least he speaks.

"I…don't know, I don't think so, but we haven't exactly been careful about it. Your Mom asked me was I pregnant tonight…and I got scared" I look down biting my lip, "The dream I had….You found out I was pregnant and you left me, You didn't want the baby and you wanted me to get rid of it but I wouldn't so you left….then Jack…he…the blood, there was so much blood… the baby…" My eyes clench tightly trying to rid that image from my mind.

Then, I'm a little surprised when he leans forward and he kisses me softly.

His first movement in the silence that felt like a lifetime.

A tear rolls down my cheek as I kiss him back, my eyes open and his are closed.

I must admit I'm a little confused, but I'd never reject one of his kisses.

His kisses are my drug, my addiction, my happy place. They always make me feel better, hopeful. Wanted.

Wanted, yes.

He pulls back and he rests his forehead against mine and I simply watch him. His eyes are still closed but his lips curl into the smallest of smiles.

"My Mom has been on at me for her grandchildren since she knew we were dating, pay no mind to my Mom" He laughs softly and I smile slightly, then his expression turns serious as he continues, "I know we haven't been careful and we haven't spoken about it or what we want, I'm sorry it's my fault…." I start to shake my head to protest that we are both at fault for this, but he silences me with another kiss, "But I must admit, the thought of having a little you running around, doesn't seem like such a bad idea" He bites his lip and it's like I feel a rush of relief through my body.

It feels like someone has removed an entire truckload of stress and worry off my body. I feel my lips curling into my own smile as I look at him.

Does this mean?

Does he want a baby?

He wants us to start a family.

"You want to have a baby?" I bite my lip and I gaze into his eyes.

He shrugs and simply nods, "I want everything with you, Ana, …and if you are pregnant then I'll make finding us a new place more of a priority. A place for our own little family, a home" He smiles softly and I take his hand in mine.

I'm a little shocked.

"It could be a little you too you know " I smirk teasingly and he chuckles lacing our fingers.

"As long as it's healthy, I don't care." He smiles more and he leans forward kissing me again.

I use my free hand to cup his cheek as we deepen our kiss.

I love him and now…maybe…we'll have a family.

Is it such a good idea with everything going on?

I will always worry, but for now, I'm lost in the moment.

"So… we're okay with this?" He whispers against my lips.

I nod biting my lip, my nerves from telling earlier has suddenly turned more into excitement.

"If it's meant to happen, it'll happen" I smile more against his lips.

"I'll book an appointment for you next week when we're back home and maybe, we can see if there's anything yet?" He seems excited about this and honestly? I'm a little shocked, I thought he would have panicked, but he hasn't not a single bit. My smile grows. He wants this. We want this.

I nod at the appointment comment and he gently takes me by my waist and flips me over onto my back making me squeal slightly.

He kisses me deeply before moving his kisses down between the V in my pajama top.

He smirks and kneels either side of my legs as he lifts my pajama top up just slightly and starts to kiss along my stomach.

I bite my lip at the feeling and I gently run my hand through his hair.

"If you're in there yet and you can hear me… I'm your daddy and I'm going to spoil you rotten. Anything you want you can have okay?" He whispers against my skin.

My heart races, he's talking to my stomach in the hope there's a baby in there. My heart swells and my emotions swoon as I gaze down watching him. My smile grows.

He keeps pressing butterfly kisses along my stomach then back up to my lips.

"I'm not so sure I'll be a good dad…after the start I had in life, I just hope…I hope I can be good enough" He says gazing down at me, his worry starting to show.

I cup his cheek smiling up at him, I lean up pecking his lips.

"You will be an amazing father Christian and when we have a baby, it'll love you unconditionally"

He smiles down at me with my answer.

"I love you"

"I love you" I smile and cuddles into him, pulling the blankets around us and he spoons against my back.

His face nuzzling into the back of my neck and his hand moving around my waist holding me close and his fingers gently resting against my stomach. I bite my lip.

I hope he doesn't get too disappointed if there's nothing there.

I've heard that most women know when they're pregnant, I guess that's the glow Grace spoke about earlier, but I don't feel anything. I don't feel any different but I also have no idea what I'm supposed to feel. I have no idea what I'm expecting or what to expect.

But even if there's nothing now, there might be in the future. Now we've spoken about it, now we know there's a possibility, our lives are going to change.

I don't want to get too excited in case there's nothing there yet, but seeing him tonight. Seeing him this way, the thought of our baby, the thought of our family.

It's made me fall in love with him even more if that was even possible.

He keeps surprising me and I can't wait for our future where he continues to do so.

My light, my rock, my husband.

With his embrace, I finally fall back to sleep and the nightmare is gone.

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Sorry I haven't posted in a while!

What are we thinking guys? A baby or no baby?

Thanks to all my readers and reviewers so far, I really appreciate each and every one of you. I hope you'll stick around for the future chapters, some twists and turns ready and prepared! Stay tuned!


	49. Chapter 49

Chapter 49…

"Morning Mom" I smile walking into the kitchen as my Mom sits at the island sipping her cup of coffee, reading the newspaper.

"Christian" She looks up smiling brightly, "Good Morning darling…how did you and Ana sleep?"

How things have changed from all those years ago. I love the way she smiles more at me now, rather than the times I used to disappoint her. Those years ago I'd have ignored her, grumbled and ran back up the stairs without a word and I remember the disappointment and sadness in her eyes watching me run away.

I love how I've changed, I love how I'm better now. I've never felt so free and happy.

Thanks to Ana and the continued support of my family after all these years, I've become someone I never thought I'd be. I've become successful in my career and my life.

It's everything I could have ever dreamed of, even more so with the start I had in life.

I have Ana and my Mom and Dad to thank for everything. For it all.

After last night, I feel a new emotion. I feel, well I'm not sure what it is but the thought of Ana and I having a baby has made me feel something.

I'm nervous yes, overwhelmed yes, but there's something else too.

A sense of excitement, a sense of pride. I've never felt proud of myself but this, maybe this is the emotion I'm feeling.

Once I know what's going on I plan to up the security, find us a new home and start planning.

This baby will want for nothing, I know I shouldn't get too excited because we don't even know yet, but, I can't help it. The thought of giving a child all the things I never had, giving it the best start in life. I'll have no idea what I'm doing, but I know with Ana, we can do this together.

I move to kiss my Mom on the cheek smiling before heading to pour myself a cup of coffee.

"I slept fine, Ana had a little trouble but she's still sleeping now so I thought I'd leave her to rest" I smile as I move to sit opposite her sipping my coffee.

"Oh no, is she okay?"

"Yeah, she had a nightmare and found it hard to go back to sleep, but we managed it in the end"

"Poor thing" She smiles sadly.

"She's fine, we stayed up and talked, figured some things out" I smile more, "I hear you've been badgering my wife about a baby" She almost spits her coffee out and it makes me chuckle softly.

"I…well…" She hears me laugh and starts to giggle herself, "I think you'd both make wonderful parents".

"Thanks, Mom" I smile as she reaches over and squeezes my hand. "We talked about it last night after her nightmare, she dreamt I left her after she told me she was pregnant, amongst other things that happened. I think it scared her, in case she is pregnant you know? We hadn't spoken about it before last night, but we both agreed that If it's meant to happen then we'll both be happy with it".

Her face lights up in the excitement and it makes my smile grow seeing her this way. Seeing her proud.

"So…you're trying for a baby?" She asks excitedly.

I simply nod smiling.

Our baby.

"I'm booking an appointment for us for when we get home to see if there's anything yet"

"Oh Christian, this is so exciting…I'm going to be a grandma!"

I chuckle as she moves over hugging me tightly, "Let's keep it low key, for now, Mom until we know more"

"Of course darling, my lips are sealed. I'm just so excited and happy for you" She smiles more and I nod. "I'm so proud of you, both of you"

"Thanks, Mom, if it wasn't for you, Dad and Ana, I never would have made it this far. The thought of having a child, to give it everything you and Dad gave me after you adopted me, I know I wasn't the easiest child, but It's thanks to you and everything you've done that's made me who I am".

"Oh my darling" Her eyes fill with tears as she looks at me proudly, "I'd do it all over again, I love you, my boy".

"Love you too Mom" I smile.

"Good Morning" We're broken from our conversation as Ana makes her way downstairs, wearing my hoodie that's like a dress on her. It reminds me of our earlier days. I love seeing her in my clothes.

"Morning sweetheart, tea? Coffee?" Mom sings happily at her, she's not obvious at all. It makes me laugh as she moves to the kettle.

"Tea would be lovely, thank you Grace" Ana smiles at her making her way over to me.

I slip my arm around her waist and she slides onto my lap. I kiss her softly, smiling against her lips.

"Morning beautiful" She smiles at my whispered words.

"Morning my husband" She whispers back.

I love being here this weekend, no cares, no worries, just us. It's been wonderful so far minus Ana's nightmare of course. But she seems happier this morning.

We both notice my Mom stealing glances and smiling at us as she makes the tea.

"You told her didn't you?" Ana smirks whispering, I bite my lip and nods.

"Yeah, she's not subtle at all….I'm sorry…it just kind of…"

She laughs softly and kisses my cheek, "It's okay, I like seeing you this excited" She runs her hand through my hair making me smile more.

"She's promised to keep it low key until we know more" I whisper back as I place a kiss against my hoodie on her shoulder.

Mom makes her way back over and Ana smiles brightly at her as she takes her tea.

"Thank you, Grace"

"No problem darling" She smiles more as Ana sips her tea and then moves off my lap and onto her own seat.

"Do you guys have plans today? I thought I could rustle up some breakfast for you"

"Just spending some time with my Dad, then I think Mia and Kate have plans for us to head out tonight?"

I groan rolling my eyes making Ana and my Mom laugh softly, I've always hated clubbing, "Elliot's been annoying me for us to go".

"I won't be drinking anyway, just in case" Ana smiles at me, then to my Mom.

Mom's eyes widen excitedly as she looks at me, "She knows I know?"

"She figured out" I laugh looking up at Ana who giggles softly.

Mom comes rushing around to us.

I smirk at Ana and laughs as she's taken into a bear hug.

"I'm so happy for you both, I know I shouldn't be too excited yet, but I can't help it. I have high hopes"

Watching Ana and My Mom together makes me happy. They adore each other.

"I'm a little nervous" Ana admits.

"You're bound to be, but you're going to be the most amazing Mom, and Christian an amazing Dad" She cups both of our cheeks looking us both over, "I'm so happy and excited for you, you're going to wonderful parents"

"Thanks, Mom" I smile at her then looks to Ana taking her hand in mine and lacing our fingers.

With Kate and Elliot leaving early this morning to head out to look at an apartment, Dad and Mia emerge from their rooms smelling the delightful breakfast my Mom has started.

Mia moves sitting beside Ana and Dad beside Mom as we all dig into our breakfast.

Ana's hand rests on my thigh as she eats with her other, making me smile more.

"That was amazing Grace, thankyou" Ana smiles brightly at her.

"You're more than welcome sweetheart, I'm glad you enjoyed".

"Maybe we could treat you guys to lunch? I'm sure my Dad would love to come along too" Ana suggest looking at my parents, then back to me.

We all nod and agree except Mia, "You better be back by 6 so we can head out by 9" she smirks, "I'm excited, it's been too long since we all went out together. I have a VIP booth booked for us".

I squeeze Ana's hand smiling, "We'll be back, I promise," Ana says to her smiling.

I'm not sure how Ana is going to get away with not drinking with Mia around, I'll have to think of something and fast.

Once breakfast is done, we agree to meet at a little Italian restaurant for lunch at 12.30 then Ana and I head over to her Dad's. I know she's been excited to spend time with him.

I make our drive over, Taylor close behind, not being far behind us anywhere we go.

But I've never been so grateful for him now that there's a possibility Ana might be pregnant.

"Are you going to tell your Dad?"

"Yeah, I think he'll be just as excited as your Mom" She laughs softly, "I just hope no one is too disappointed if there's nothing yet…"

"If it's meant to be it'll be, and if there's nothing now, then in the future there will be" I smile lifting her hand to my lips reassuringly. "Either way, we're in this together" I watch as her smile grows at my words.

I love making her smile.

"I love you" She leans over kissing my cheek.

"I love you more" I smirk.

I soon pull up outside of Ray's house and he's sat on the porch in his little chair.

A tea and coffee ready and waiting for the both of us.

"Ana! Christian!" He smiles standing and moves to hug Ana, then shaking my hand as he usually does.

"Hey, Dad" Ana smiles brightly hugging him tightly.

"How's my girl doing? How are you Christian?" He smiles escorting us inside and we all make ourselves at home.

We sit around chatting, smiling, laughing drinking our teas and coffees.

"So…we do have some news," Ana says taking my hand biting her lip.

"Are you pregnant?" Ray grins and it makes me laugh.

Why does everyone already assume we're having a baby.

"We're not sure yet, but hopefully…We're making an appointment with the Doctor for when we head home"

"Oh Annie, this is amazing," He says with excitement and pride.

"We're keeping it low key until we know more, but we're hoping one day…" Ana smiles brightly as she stands and her father hugs her tightly.

After that, we make our way to meet my Mom and Dad for lunch.

We head inside, taking our seats and order.

With it just being us, everyone knowing about the possibility of a baby, Ray raises his glass smiling brightly as his hand moves to Ana's shoulder.

"To the hopeful baby Grey…"

"To the hopeful baby Grey" My Mom and Dad join in clinking their glasses in front of us and Ana giggles softly looking up at me.

After treating our parents to lunch, spending the afternoon catching up, enjoying the moment, enjoying the company. All of us being together before we head home in the morning. We do in fact arrive back to my Mom's with minutes to spare before 6. Mia tapping her foot waiting for us making me laugh.

"You're lucky you made it" she smirks and hugs us both tightly before whisking Ana off to get ready.

I hope they don't offer her alcohol.

I find myself worrying after she's gone, more than I normally would.

But Elliot pulls me to the gardens for some beers after we get ready.

Time flies and it's already 8.45 when the girls are making their way down the stairs. All of them looking beautiful but my eyes widen at Ana's dress.

It's very revealing, the silver fabric just about lining her breasts. The bottom half of the dress landing at her mid-thigh, the shoulder straps thin and lacey up and over her shoulders and down her back. The back completely bare except for the small straps crisscrossing along her skin, then a little more silver fabric covering her ass.

In the bedroom, I would fucking love this, but my heart races as I watch her walk down the stairs.

She's going to turn every man's eye in the club with this outfit, but she's mine.

She looks at my reaction, her cheeks flushed as she makes her way towards. My dick twitching in my pants at the sight of her, but the jealousy filling my body of having other men's eyes on her.

Everyone else makes their way outside to the cars.

When Ana reaches me, she gently strokes the bottom of my tie and looks up at me through her lashes.

Fuck, that look.

"That…is very revealing…"

"Mhmm….Mia chose it for me" She bites her lip.

"It is very…very…sexy though…" I want her right here, right now. Fuck.

She leans up kissing me deeply. My hand slipping down her bare back landing on her ass which raises up to her cheeks as I squeeze.

I groan against her lips, my body reacting to her immediately.

"Just don't bend over in it, I don't want other men looking at you" I rest my forehead against hers.

She kisses me again and smiles against my lips, "It's only for you" She cups my cheek.

"HURRY UP YOU TWO AND GET IN THE DAMN CAR! YOU CAN HAVE SEX LATER!"

Ana blushes and hides her face into my chest laughing softly.

I chuckle taking her hand hearing Elliot's voice boom up from the driveway.

I have a semi in my pants as I make my way towards the car, trying to calm my thoughts of Ana in that dress, but with her constantly in view, I'm finding it hard.

I need a drink.

Is it bad if I drink and Ana can't? Should I not drink too?

I don't think she'd mind if I did.

In the car, I kiss the top of her head smiling and her hand slowly but surely moves against my thigh. I look down at where she's resting it but that's all I can see is her thigh against mine, her dress revealing her smooth silky skin.

Fuck. I close my eyes.

Taking a deep breath.

Calm Christian, stay calm.

She smiles up at me and I narrow my eyes smirking. She knows exactly what she's doing, the little minx.

We arrive at the club, Mia giving the name Grey and we all make our way inside.

"Shots! Let's Go!" Mia squeals rushing to our very own private bar located on the side.

I look down to Ana who's gazing around biting her lip, "I'll just go and grab a seat" She smiles at me and I nod kissing her head.

"Do you want a lemonade or something?"

"A coke please"

I nod and makes my way to the bar with the others while my eyes remain on Ana.

She sits in our booth content and smiling as she bobs along to the music, her eyes gazing around taking in the atmosphere.

I feel bad she can't drink and enjoy it as much, but whenever she's ready, I'll be happy to take her home and rip that revealing dress off her body.

"Ana still likes tequila right?!" Mia smirks and Kate orders 5 Tequilas.

"Ana doesn't feel well tonight so I'm not sure she's drinking," I say nervously.

"What?! She has to!" Kate says loudly over the music continuing to order the 5 Tequila.

Great, how are we going to get out of this one?

Elliot carries the shots over, the girls carry their drinks and I take back a coke and a beer.

Luckily, the coke is in the same glass a vodka and coke would be so no one really notices that Ana isn't drinking.

After a few drinks they won't notice anyway, they'll be too drunk, I think to myself.

Elliot places the tray down and I slide in beside Ana looking at her apologetically as I hand her the coke.

"Okay! Shot time!" Kate smirks handing them all out, "Ready….one…two..three…".

Everyone closes their eyes as they down their shots in one go, when their eyes are closed, I steal Anas from in front of her. Quick thinking I down hers then place the empty glass back in front of her making her laugh.

I smirk, this is my plan, I'll just drink her drinks. They'll never even know.

"Christian, why didn't you drink yours?! get it down you!" Mia holds my shot glass up still full with liquid, I roll my eyes taking it and downs it down.

It's disgusting. I hate Tequila and now I've had two of the vile things.

The night goes by pretty smoothly, Kate, Mia, and Elliot are all very very drunk already and Ana simply laughs and smiles watching them.

I must admit I'm pretty drunk myself. After the fourth round of shots, that makes 8 for me after having Ana's too, I'm starting to feel a little on the tipsy side.

Tipsy? Okay, I lied. Maybe more drunk than I think I am.

Kate and Mia head to the dance floor as Elliot heads back to the bar and I smirk running my hand up Ana's thigh smoothly.

She giggles squeezing her thighs together teasingly, I fucking love her giggle.

I smirk leaning down and I place a gentle kiss to her bare shoulder, slowly moving up to her neck causing her to moan softly.

There goes my dick again.

"I can't wait to peel this dress of later" I whisper against her ear and she gazes around making sure nobody is looking as she turns her head and kisses me deeply.

I could take her right here, right now. Why the fuck is there people around?!

I cup her cheek, playing my tongue dominantly against hers making her moan against my mouth.

She does things to me.

She pulls back for air gazing up into my eyes smiling.

"I hope your pregnant" I whisper smiling putting my hand to her stomach.

She laughs softly, "Wow…you're really drunk".

I smirk nodding. Yes, Yes I am.

"Well, that's because you're growing a little us inside of you and I keep stealing your drinks" I smirk and she gasps quickly covering my mouth with her hand laughing.

Did I say that too loud?

"Shhhhh…Elliot's coming back" She smirks laughing more.

"MORE SHOTS!" He says stumbling slightly. Mia and Kate rush back to the table from the dancefloor taking their shots before taking Ana's hand dragging her to the dancefloor.

I feel so bad that she's sober, but I'm so drunk and I blame her. I laugh at my thoughts, I'm teasing obviously.

I look to the dancefloor watching her move her body to the music. She's so fucking beautiful, my smile grows.

Then I'm pulled from my thoughts by a voice opposite me.

"Ana's pregnant isn't she"

Wait. What?

I turn to look at Elliot smirking at me from the other side of the table.

"No…what?" I slur.

"I know you've been drinking her drinks, I've been watching you and you are absolutely fucked Christian" He laughs watching my eyes glaze over.

"Shhh…don't tell anyone, we don't know yet…but maybe, she doesn't want to drink just in case….we haven't found out yet" I say putting my finger to my lips encouraging him to shhhh and not tell anyone. Wow, I really am drunk.

"Congrats bro…" He smiles.

"Thanks…I'm scared shitless though"

"You're going to be fine, Just chill" He smiles and holds up his glass to me, "To another Grey boy".

"Or girl" I smirk and he rolls his eyes laughing as we clink our glasses together downing them straight down.

I am going to be way too drunk, I can't cope right now.

I stand from the booth, my head spinning.

"I…I'm….g-going to…I'm going to take a piss…." I slur making Elliot laugh as he rolls his head back drunkenly too, watching me stumble to the bathroom.

After the relief of taking a piss, I move back out into the club, my eyes scanning around.

I want to dance with my girl.

Where's she gone?

My eyes scan around and I see her body sway opposite Mia. I look to the booth and Kate and Elliot are making out.

I start to make my way over before to Ana and Mia before I freeze and my eyes widen. The anger and jealousy rippling through my veins.

A man walks up behind her putting his hands on her waist in an attempt to grind against her.

My face turns angry, I feel the blood boiling inside my skin.

My fists clenching at my side.

She sways until she feels the large hands against her, she turns quickly at the unfamiliar hands, her eyes widen in horror.

I take the dance floor with the biggest and fastest strides I have ever done.

I don't know how I manage to get to her so quickly with how drunk I am, but I manage it. I manage it for her.

That fucking dick can get away from my wife and my baby, right this fucking second.

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	50. Chapter 50

Chapter 50…

I watch as Christian's fist comes into contact with the stranger's jaw. I gasp in horror as a brawl starts in the middle of the dancefloor.

The hairy handed, big built man swings back at him and when Christian stumbles drunkenly, I fear for him. He's so drunk and I just want to pull him away.

The stranger manages to punch Christian right in the mouth but not forceful enough to do much damage.

One punch.

Two punch.

Three punch.

Taylor rushes into the club when he learns of what's going on but before he even arrives inside it's almost over.

The stranger lands on the floor and Christian wipes his mouth with his arm ridding the small amount of blood escaping his lip.

"Stay the fuck away from my wife" He grits his teeth as Elliot comes rushing overtaking Christian's arm which he shrugs off. He glares at the stranger who then scurries off leaving the bar.

"What happened, bro?!" Elliot looks at Christian.

"He's a dick…he was…He was after Ana" He says swaying slightly.

Elliot sighs nodding and looks to me. Christian's eyes searching for me too.

Mia's arms are still around me, keeping me from getting in between the fight, trying to calm me, but when Christian turns my eyes are wide. My breathing is heavy.

The stranger is gone and he looks at me, he's waiting for my reaction.

I wriggle out of Mia's embrace rushing to him, my arms moving around his neck and I kiss him deeply, needily, lovingly.

He was sticking up for me, he got jealous, I can't get mad at him for that.

After feeling another man's hands on my body, I want to feel him and only him.

His arms encircle my waist holding me close as we kiss passionately right there in the middle of the dancefloor.

Thanks to Taylor we didn't get kicked out of the club, name dropping 'Grey' seems to work every time.

I guide him back to the booth and his arm never leaves my waist and I'm grateful for it.

He's still so drunk I can tell.

When we reach the table his breathing is still heavy from the adrenaline of the small fight.

I take a napkin and gently dabs it against his bleeding lip.

"Does it hurt?" I bite my lip sadly gazing up into his eyes but he doesn't look at me.

He shakes his head, "I…think…I'm I'm too drunk to feel anything" His head sways down into my shoulder.

My poor Christian.

"How's he doing?" Elliot and Mia both stand there.

"He'll be okay, just too much to drink I think" I smile sadly.

This is all my fault.

"I didn't think he drank that much" Mia says rubbing his back, I can't let him take the fault, I look to her biting my lip.

"He was drinking my drinks too…" I sigh.

"What? Why?"

"I might be pregnant" I look at her and her eyes widen in excitement.

"I'm going to be an auntie?"

"Wait what? Ana ?!" Kate says walking up behind them hearing the news.

"Shhhh…we don't know yet, but I didn't want to risk drinking just incase. We didn't want anyone to know until we knew for definite, but I can't keep it a secret, not from you guys….just keep it low key okay?" I smile at their excitement.

"When will you find out?" Mia and Kate both swoon excitedly.

"Sometime next week when we get home" I smile more.

"We're going to be aunties!" They squeal and it makes me laugh.

I love how excited everyone is about the possibility of a new little Grey.

I look down towards Christian who seems to have passed out on my shoulder, making me giggle more.

"I'm going to take him back…Thank you for tonight Mia, it's been wonderful"

Minus the fight and Christian being absolutely plastered off course.

I carefully wake Christian and with the help of Taylor, we manage to get him to the car.

Mia, Kate, and Elliot decide to stay a little while longer.

We drive back to the house, Taylor taking the wheel and Christian rests against me. My hand running through his hair soothingly.

"I…I'm…I'm sorry…" He mumbles.

I look down at him, "Sorry? For what?"

"F-For fighting..."

My heart melts at his words and I gently kiss the top of his head.

"It's okay, I don't like violence but…you did it for me, to protect me, I can't be angry with that. I'm sorry you had to drink my drinks too"

He looks up at me giving me the smallest drunken smile.

"I'll do everything for you….and him" He smiles leaning down kissing my stomach through my dress and I feel a clench in my heart.

I feel like maybe we should find out sooner before an appointment. Maybe we could stop by the store on the way home tomorrow and buy a test.

I know they're not 100% accurate but at least there's a possibility we'll know more than what we do now.

"Or she" I smirk teasingly.

He grumbles, "Can …can it be a boy? I'm already protective of you…I don't….I don't think I could h-handle….another girl"

I laugh out loud at his statement, running my hand through his hair as he rests his head into my lap.

I love him so much.

He's so funny when he's drunk.

We soon arrive back at the Grey's and Taylor helps me bring him inside.

"Oh my goodness….what has happened?!" Grace gasps in horror at the state of Christian.

"It's a long story" I bite my lip.

He grins drunkenly at her, "Mom….I'm fine….a-actually, I'm more than fine… My sexy Wife is hopefully carrying my baby" He grins and my eyes widen.

Oh my gosh.

She tries to stifle her laugh crossing her arms watching him.

"Mia, Kate, and Elliot didn't know about the possibility of a baby until the end of the night after Christian had decided that he was going to drink all the drinks they bought me along with his own"

"Oh my goodness…" She laughs softly, "Take him up and I'll bring some aspirin and water up, he'll need it" She smirks winking at me before she makes her way into the kitchen.

Taylor helps me bring him up the stairs and places him to sit at the edge of the bed.

"Thank you, Taylor" I smile at him as Christian puts his head into his hands.

"Wh-Why is the…the room spinning?" We both chuckle softly.

"Anything else I can do Mrs. Grey?"

"I think I can handle him from here, thank you Taylor" I smile more and he nods making his leave.

I kneel down gently pulling his shoes and socks off, then stands and starts to remove his shirt.

"Now you're talking" He slurs, smirking at my actions.

"Nuh..Uh…you need sleep" I smirk leaning down and I gently peck his lips.

"But…the dress….I…" He grumbles before dropping backwards onto the bed, making me laugh.

There's a small knock at the door, "Come in".

I smile as Grace enters with the aspirin and the water as promised.

"He loves you so much," She says smiling placing them down as she looks at his drunken state.

I nod agreeing, "He does, I love him so much too, he's so excited about a baby…I hope I don't disappoint him".

"You could never disappoint him, darling, if there's not one now, there's be one in the future, don't worry too much" She smiles taking my hand squeezing it softly.

"I hope so" I smile softly gazing down at him. He's officially passed out laying like a starfish against the bed.

"How did he get the bruised lip?"

"I was dancing with Mia and a guy came up to me from behind, Christian saw and he lost it"

She smiles sadly understanding, "He's so protective".

I nod smiling in agreement.

"Anyway, I'll leave you both to rest, call me and come and wake me up if you need me okay?" She hugs me softly and kisses my head.

"Thankyou grace, Goodnight" I smile softly watching her leave before moving to get dressed.

I look down at the bed trying to figure out when I can climb in but his legs and arms are everywhere.

It's just too funny.

I know it's my fault and I shouldn't laugh, but I've never seen him this drunk, ever.

I slip my nightgown over my head and hears a little grumble come from the bed.

"W-Will you love it more than me?" He looks at me with his drunk, glazed sad eyes, as he attempts to sit up.

"What?" I look curious.

I make my way over to the bed and sits beside him. He looks at me.

Maybe the alcohol is wearing off?

"The baby…will you love it more than me?"

It pains my heart, he's so insecure.

My poor Christian.

"I will you love you equally…" I smile sadly trying to reassure him.

"My mother didn't love me…my birth Mom… I don't even know if there's a baby yet and I already feel an enormous love towards it. How could she not love her child?" He says gazing off into the distance simply talking.

They say drunk talk is the most truthful talk.

The playful teasing drunk Christian has turned into an alcohol decline insecure Christian.

My heart hurts as he talks to me, trying to imagine what he went through.

"Why was I never enough for her?" He finally looks at me and there are tears in his eyes.

"Oh Christian…" I slowly move my arms around him, moving us both to lay down.

I hold him against my chest, my hand running through his hair as his head lays against my chest holding me close to him.

"I can't answer that, but Grace…she loves you with everything she has, she absolutely adores the 3 of you, and I love you" I say sadly as I try to soothe him.

"What if the baby hates me?"

"It won't, it will love you unconditionally. You're going to be an amazing Dad" I whisper smiling softly.

"I hope so" He sighs and curls back into me. And with that, he's back asleep.

I stay awake for most of the night, worried he may wake sick after the amount of alcohol he consumed, but he seems to stay asleep and I finally drift off myself.

A couple of hours later I wake to a stirring.

"Fuck….shit…" He grumbles and I slowly open my eyes sleepily. He holds his head in his hands, sitting at the edge of the bed.

I yawn softly and leans up on my elbow smirking.

"How are you feeling?" I tease smirking.

"Fucking awful" He groans, "My head is spinning and my mouth feels as dry as Gandhi's flip flop".

I laugh softly and I lean over to the bedside table handing him the large glass of water and the aspirin handing it to him.

"I'm sorry you had to drink mine too, It's my fault"

"It was my stupid idea" He pouts teasingly but laughs softly. He leans back and kisses me softly, "I'd do it all over again if I have to though".

I look to his lip and it's a little bruised but nothing too bad.

"How's your lip?"

"It's sore, but it's okay. That guy got off worse I'm sure" He smirks. I roll my eyes laughing.

"So… I was thinking?" I bite my lip, "I don't want to wait any longer, what if we head to a store and buy a test on the way home? Try it out and see what happens before we go to the Doctor?"

I watch as his lips curl into the biggest smile. He nods and cups my cheek kissing me softly.

Between each kiss, he talks, "That, sounds, perfect".

He takes my waist and spins me around laying me on my back against the bed as he hovers over me kissing me softly.

"I'm still devastated I never got the chance to peel that dress off you" He whispers.

I smirk, "We have time, I can always wear it again" I whisper against his ear.

He smirks groaning as he makes his attempts at the pulse point beneath my ear, gently sucking against the skin.

I bite my lip hard trying to stifle my moans.

Knock, Knock.

"Christian? Ana? Are you awake?"

Christian leans up looking at the door, then back down to me.

"I can't wait to go home and have you all to myself again" He teases pecking my lips before he moves to open the door.

"Well, someone is looking more alive this morning than he was last night" She smirks teasingly.

"I wish I felt it" He groans rubbing his neck.

Grace and I both laugh softly.

"I've made you both breakfast before you head home"

"Thanks, Mom" He smiles.

"Thank you Grace" I smile too.

"It's ready whenever you are darlings" She smiles and makes her leave back to the kitchen.

She's so caring and thoughtful. Always enjoys spoiling us.

After breakfast we head up to say goodbye to a very hungover Mia, wishing her luck on her Paris trip.

We head to Kate and Elliot's room, both still sound asleep so we leave them a note promising to come to visit again.

We say our goodbyes to Grace and Carrick before making a quick dash to my Dad's saying goodbye to him too.

Then we make our journey home.

"There's a pharmacy near here, do you still want to stop off?" He looks at me as Taylor drives us home. Christian still being very hungover. He was even sick after breakfast.

I nod smiling as he takes my hand lacing our fingers, "Shall we?"

"I'd love to" he smiles brightly and kisses my forehead. "Taylor, can you make a stop at the pharmacy please?"

"Yes sir" He nods and diverts the car.

After picking up two clear blue tests we head back to the apartment.

"I'm nervous," I say honestly as I pull one from the box standing outside of the bathroom.

His one hand moves to my waist holding me close as the other runs through my hair soothingly.

"What's meant to be will be" He smiles kissing me softly and whispers softly against my lips, "I love you".

"I love you too" I smile softly taking a deep breath opening the bathroom door.

"I'll be right here okay?" He smiles more squeezing my hand softly before I smile brightly at him nodding and closes the door behind me.

I take a deep breath and pee on the stick.

My heart racing with nerves and excitement.

What if it's negative?

What if it's positive?

Oh my gosh, all these emotions coursing through my entire body making my hands shake slightly.

Once I'm done I put the lid back onto the stick. I hear rustling outside the door and I smile knowing he's there.

How did I end up so lucky?

I flush the toilet before moving to open the door gazing down at the stick and the instructions.

"So it says we have to wait two minutes for the…." I look up but he's nowhere to be seen.

I look around curiously. I look to the left, then the right.

"Christian?"

I start to make my way through the apartment.

"Christian?! where are you?"

BANG.

BANG.

BANG.

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	51. Chapter 51

Chapter 51…

"I'm nervous," she says as I watch her pull a test from the box as we are both stood outside of the bathroom.

I watch her fingers shake slightly against the stick, I gently move my hand to her waist, my other running through her hair,"What's meant to be will be" I smile kissing her softly and whispers against her lips. "I love you" I whisper trying to calm her nerves. We're both just as excited and nervous as each other I think.

"I love you too" Her lips curl into a smile, taking a deep breath as she opens the bathroom door.

"I'll be right here okay?" I say as I take her hand, squeezing gently, reassuring her everything is going to be alright.

She nods making her way into the bathroom and closes the door behind her.

I lean against the wall gazing down at the handle, waiting for it to move or turn, signalling that she's ready and about to come out.

I'm not going to lie.

I am so so nervous

I play my hands against each other. Then I run my fingers through my hair. I find myself starting to pace, breathing deeply trying to calm my beating heart.

What if she's not pregnant?

What if she is?

Is it a boy?

A girl?

I hear a noise and I look to the handle thinking she's finally emerging with news but it doesn't move.

With my back turned and focussing again on the door handle, I suddenly feel a large, hard object gain impact against the back of my head sending me to the ground. Whatever it was hurt like fucking hell and my head is throbbing.

Next thing I know, my eyes are opening and I'm in the bedroom.

Fuck my head hurts. I lift my hand to where I feel the awful throbbing pain.

As soon as my fingers come into contact with my skin, I feel the gooey, wetness of my blood drizzling out from the head wound.

What the fuck.

I'm laid out on the floor opposite the door. It's dark and there's a figure sat in the chair.

My eyes narrow and squint in an attempt to get a better look, but the way my head is pounding I can't focus. Everything is just a fucking blur.

What the fuck is happening.

"Remember me, golden boy? I've been waiting here for you since Friday. You really should get some better security, and more secured locks Christian, it was so easy getting in here you know. I figured you'd be back soon. You have a really nice comfy bed here, how does it feel to fuck Ana on it? " The figure talks.

I hear the voice and it seems all too familiar.

"Jack?"

"Ding, Ding, Ding, we have a winner!" He stands smirking.

I attempt to stand but my head starts to turn me dizzy.

What the fuck is happening.

Where's Ana?

Fuck, if he's hurt her.

"What the fuck do you want?! Where's Ana?!"

He laughs viciously, "Ana's still in the bathroom, don't worry, I'll deal with her after I've dealt with you."

"What the fuck do you want Jack?! Is it money?! I'll give you money. Just lave Ana the fuck alone!"

He cackles, I want to rip his fucking head off but, I see, in his hand, Is a gun.

"You have no fucking idea, do you?"

"Idea about what?!" I glare, secretly trying to figure out a plan.

"Well, when we first met Christian, I wanted a family, a home, someone to love me, someone to give me everything I dreamed of, We were 4 when we met, do you remember?" He kneels down in front of me and I shake my head. I don't remember, of course, I don't. The first memory and only memory I have is when My Mom and Dad brought me home, they showed me to my new bedroom and I climbed under the bed and stayed there for 2 days before I finally emerged, hungry as a horse. His eyes blaring with anger, "But guess what Golden boy, you fucking took all that away! Now I want my revenge. They shouldn't have chosen you! Your house, Your job, Your wife, Your family, it should have all been mine!"

"How the fuck should it be yours?! It's not my fault they chose me, Ana loves me and I love her, I worked fucking hard for my job!"

He grips my chin, "Do you really think you would have accomplished any of that if they hadn't adopted you? If you had been left there to rot as I did? Do you think you would have made it? It should have been me! They should have adopted me! The best part though? Was school, we ended up at the exact same school and guess what?! you didn't even fucking remember who I was! I vowed then to bring you down" He glares.

"Christian?" I hear Ana's quiet voice. It's extremely faint, but It's noticeable to me. She must have come out of the bathroom. She's probably looking for me. Of course, she is.

Fuck, I have to do something.

Fuck knows what he'll do to her if she opens that door.

"I would have made more of an effort with my life than you have," I say angrily before grabbing his hand with the gun in it.

We toss and turn on the floor, the gun flying around between our hands and fingers, As we tussle in the middle of the bedroom floor.

Bang.

Bang.

Bang.

"MRS GREY GET BACK!" I hear Taylor's loud booming voice aimed towards Ana and the charging of his boots storming towards the door.

Get Ana the fuck away from here, I try to call out but the pain causes my voice to cease. I lay there, feeling the blood seeping through my shirt. I look down and my white shirt is now red and stained. My hands covered in blood.

I hear a groan next to me seeing even more blood coming from Jack.

The gun is laid on the floor between us, our eyes catching each other and then to the gun. His face turns into an angry glare as he makes a reach for it.

I quickly try to scamper across the floor in an attempt to grab the gun.

The door opens just as Jack is about to pounce on me but Taylor intervenes tackling him backwards towards the ground.

I hear a crack and it doesn't sound good.

"I've got him sir," Taylor says angrily, pinning jack down to the ground. I look over and see that the hold he has on him, Jack is completely unable to move.

I sigh with relief.

Thank fuck Taylor and Sawyer were right outside the front door.

I'm laying there and I feel myself getting cold, I look down and the amount of blood escaping me doesn't seem natural.

The door is open and I turn my head to faintly see Ana running towards me, but Sawyer chases after her wrapping his arms around her trying to keep her away from the room, away from Jack.

My one and only demand for Sawyer was for him to protect Ana, that if anything was to happen to me, to leave me be and keep her safe, to make sure she is away from any harm, he has lived up to my instruction with great skill.

Good.

Thank fuck Taylor and Sawyer are here.

Fuck, my head hurts.

My shoulder fucking hurts.

My ribs fucking hurt.

I feel wet from the gooey oozing blood all over me.

My eyes still towards the door as I watch Ana attempt to fight Sawyer off so she can come to me.

"I-I'm O-Okay….don't come…do not come in here Ana," I say sternly as I look at her.

Her eyes are filled with tears. Her cheeks completely flowing like a river.

She hears my voice and she shakes her head.

"Christian" She sobs looking at me.

I try to sit up, but the pain rushing through my body is just about bare able.

I want to get to her, I want to hold her, I want to make sure she's okay. I keep my focus on her as I use the bed to help me up, my hand moving to my ribs trying to cover and put pressure on my wound. At least one of them anyway.

I'm coming Ana, I'm coming.

I don't want her in here with that fucking bastard. Within minutes the police are rushing into the apartment along with the paramedics.

The police and paramedics move to arrest Jack and escorting him past us on a bed taking him out to an ambulance. His eyes closed and unconscious but he still seems to be breathing, blood covering him just as much as it's covering me.

Paramedics rush to me but I shrug them off and I make quick work In pain, moving to Ana. I just need her.

She's all I need.

I'm all she needs.

"Christian" She sobs and once Jack has left our sight she cups my cheeks gazing into my eyes.

"I'm okay, baby, I'm okay" I whisper with a broken breath.

She sobs against my shoulder.

Fuck the pain is a little too much but I want her touch, I want to feel her.

My body starts to grow colder, my hands starting to shake slightly and my legs going numb.

"A-Ana…," I say panicked as my legs start to buckle beneath me. Slowly but surely moving to the ground.

"Christian?! Christian?!, Help! Please!" I hear her cry out and Taylor and the paramedics are at my side immediately.

They have an oxygen mask on my lips immediately helping me to breathe. They hoist me up into a bed with wheels but Ana is out of my sight.

"A-Ana?" My eyes scan around droopy as I look for her. I reach my hand out and finally, I feel her delicate, shaking fingers against mine. She's sobbing.

"I'm here Christian, I'm here"

"He's losing a lot of blood, we have to get him to the hospital"

I watch Ana nod sadly, "Can I go with him?"

"Yes of course, but we have to go immediately"

I notice Taylor and sawyer close behind as we make our exit for the ambulance.

I lightly squeeze Ana's hand.

Taylor and Sawyer following the ambulance close behind all the way to the hospital.

"Stay with me Christian, I'm here" She sobs lifting my hand to her lips. She's covered in my blood but she doesn't seem to care.

My eyes drooping, I can feel my body getting numb. I smile softly up at her as I lightly squeeze her hand.

The paramedics lift me into the ambulance. Another ambulance scurrying off down the street which I'm assuming has that Fucking bastard Hyde inside of it. If he lives, I'll kill him myself after this.

Inside the ambulance, Ana keeps a hold of my hand, gently stroking her thumb across my knuckles soothingly. I watch her, the tears rolling down her cheeks. She gently wipes her nose against the sleeve of her hoodie.

She gazes across my body and the expression on her face doesn't give anything away. Her eyes move from my feet them up to my eyes meeting my gaze.

She gives me a small soft smile.

The pain I'm feeling starting to feel a little overwhelming making me dizzy and light-headed.

She moves her hand to my cheek and I gently lean into her touch.

My free hand, slowly and weakly reaches up in an attempt to remove my mask.

"I…I…L-Love you" I manage to say out.

Another sob escapes her lips as she hears me.

She leans over and kisses my forehead with the gentlest of kisses.

"I love you too" She whispers softly.

Then my mind reels to how all of this started. Me pacing back and forth outside of the bathroom waiting for her to emerge.

Emerge with the test of our news.

Did she manage to see it before this all happened?

Fuck.

I need to know.

I reach my hand up again but I'm scolded by the paramedic.

"Sir, you need to keep it on, you're very weak right now and losing blood"

I simply glare at him then looks back to Ana, I lift it ever so slightly, just enough so she can hear me.

"Christian?" She takes my hand worriedly, "What's wrong?" She starts to panic gazing down at me with fear filling her tear and bloodshot eyes.

"Wh-What…what did…what did it say?"

"What did what say?" She says and my eyes start to droop a little, my body going cold and numb once again. My breathing starting to become a struggle. "Christian?! Christian?! Stay with me….please, stay with me"

"The…Th-The test….what…wh-what did….the test…say…." I rasp out.

Blackout.

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	52. Chapter 52

Chapter 52…

"Wh-What…what did…what did it say?"

"What did what say?"

"Christian?! Christian?! Stay with me….please, stay with me" His eyes start to droop, causing me to worry.

His face paling a ghostly white.

"The…Th-The test….what…wh-what did….the test…say…."

The test, oh my goodness the pregnancy test.

I take his hand in mine about to answer, but when I look to him. His eyes are closed, his hand limp against mine.

"Christian?! Christian?!" I cry out cupping his cheek.

"He's still breathing…just losing a lot of blood, don't worry Mrs. Grey, he's in good hands"

The paramedic assures me.

As soon as we reach the hospital he's rushed immediately into surgery for both of his wounds.

The one against his ribs and the one through his shoulder.

He's taken away from me and I'm left standing there watching him be wheeled down the corridor without me.

Watching the double doors close behind him.

He's going to be alright, isn't he?

I don't know what I'd do if…

He's not going leave me, I just know it. He'll fight these wounds, he'll fight for his life.

He promised me. He promised me he'd never leave me.

I sit in the waiting room and pull out my phone, looking at my wallpaper seeing both of us smiling, happy, kissing at our wedding party.

I couldn't do this without him, he can't leave me.

It seems like so long ago now but the memories of that day, I'll cherish forever. The best day of my life so far.

I slide my thumb across the screen unlocking it and I allow my finger to hover over the names of my Dad and Grace.

I want so desperately to hear my Dad's voice. He's always been there through stressed and worrying times like these, he always knows what to say to calm me down. But I know, I should call Grace first. He's her son and she needs to know.

I click down on her name and lets it ring.

"Ana darling" She smiles chirping.

Hearing her voice just makes me entirely break down right there on the phone. I try to talk but no words escape my lips. The only thing that escapes are the tears in my eyes as I start to sob.

"Ana? Ana sweetheart?! What…What's wrong?! Are you crying?! Ana…are you there?! Ana?!"

I sniffle softly wiping my tears against my hoodie.

"I-I'm here….we're at the hospital. Christian's…Christian's been hurt pretty bad, he's losing so much blood. I don't know what to do…he's in surgery. I'm so scared…I'm so so scared…" I sob down the phone trying to remain collected but I just break.

"Ana…what happened, take a deep breath sweetheart. What's happened?" She tries to stay calm but I can hear the panic in her voice.

"We got back to the apartment and we were so excited about the pregnancy test we just went ahead and started….Jack, he was in the apartment and the gun went off…He's been hurt badly Grace, there was so much blood" I sob as I look down at myself seeing my own clothes and hands covered in his blood.

"Ana stays calm, I'm on my way okay? I'm leaving right now…I'll be there soon. Call me if there's any news"

"O-Okay" I sniffle nodding wiping my nose against my hoodie.

"He's going to be just fine, don't you worry"

She begins her drive and then I call my Dad telling him what's happened too, just needing and wanting to hear his voice.

He soothes and comforts me in the best he can but worry and panic still rushes through my entire body.

Once off the phone I sit there impatiently staring at the double doors Christian was wheeled through.

My heart hasn't stopped pounding. My hands haven't stopped shaking.

My eyes stay focused on the door, occasionally gazing down at my phone to look at the time.

Grace finally arrives and It's like a huge wave of relief washes over me when I see her.

I stand and she hugs me tightly. My tears still flowing and now she's here, gazing over my bloodied clothes, her own tears start to flow down her cheeks.

"Any news?" She wipes her eyes moving to sit beside me.

"Nothing yet, they took him through the door. It's been two hours now and I've heard nothing"

"I'll go and see what I can find, I'm used to them keeping secrets, working in a hospital myself I know how it works," She says sadly gently squeezing my shoulder before moving to the desk.

I watch her. The receptionist nods, then Grace nods. Grace points towards the door nodding again and makes her leave through the same doors Christian was wheeled through.

I wait.

And wait.

And wait again.

I gaze down at my phone again.

3 hours.

"Ana…darling…" I hear Grace's voice and she summons me through the doors Christian went through.

I stand immediately and rushes after her.

"Is he okay?" I sniffle softly.

Her arm moves around my shoulder and she guides me into a small private room.

There's no bed in here, but there is a large comfy chair, a sofa and a large window gazing out and down at the city around us.

Grace closes the door behind us and guides me to the sofa letting me sit down as she moves to sit next to me, taking my hands in hers.

"He's doing really really well, they're almost finished with him…they'll be bringing him in here in the next couple of hours okay?"

I look at her in surprise and my eyes widen with relief, I let out the biggest sigh not realizing how long I'd been holding my breath for.

"He's okay? He's really okay?"

She cups my cheek smiling and nods, leaning forward to kiss my forehead.

"He is just fine sweetheart" She smiles, "He'll probably be asleep when they bring him in here but he'll come around after a while. He'll be sore and groggy, but he's alive and he's going to make it" She smiles and gently wipes my tears away.

"Thank goodness" I cry happy tears now and I hug her tightly.

My body is full of relief like a 100 tons have been lifted from my shoulders.

Grace stays with me while we wait.

And wait.

And wait.

I start to pace the room getting a little impatient. I move to the window, gazing out at the city.

This is our home, but now…I think and agree that we need to go elsewhere. We can't risk something like this happening again.

My mind trails back to the moment we arrived back at the apartment. There was no evidence of a break-in, the locks weren't tampered with, the door was complete and in one piece. The excitement of finding out about the baby overwhelmed us to the point our minds weren't thinking straight. We should have checked the apartment before we entered, but with no evidence of a break-in, why would we think about that? It's our home, after all, we shouldn't have to think about that.

How on earth did he get in?

Being new to this high life and being new into the media for the both of us, it's not something we would normally do, it's not something we would think of. But from now on, I think with our name being so highlighted in the media we need to double-check everything, we need to make sure every single area of our life is safe.

Even more so now.

We left Taylor and Sawyer guarding the front door, their usual protective spot while we're in the apartment. We made our way immediately to the bathroom excited and adrenaline filled. Little did we know Jack had been there waiting for us.

I feel so stupid, I wish we had just checked the apartment just in case. Thank goodness Taylor and Sawyer heard the gunshots and came immediately rushing to the scene. They weren't to know what was going to happen either. After this, We need to go. We need something more secure.

Something…bigger.

I'm torn from my thoughts when the door opens and the end of a bed starts to be wheeled into the room.

Christian.

They wheel him fully inside, attaching him to the heart rate monitor to keep an eye on his progress.

Grace and I move to his bed, she takes his hand kissing it softly as I stand there gazing down at him. His face so pale, he's been changed into a hospital gown but I can see a hint of the bandage surrounding his shoulder underneath it.

His eyes closed, his chest lightly lifting with his soft breathing. He looks so peaceful but pale. Still very pale.

I find myself gently taking his spare hand letting my tears fall once again.

Grace watches me and she smiles sadly to herself, "He'll never leave you, Ana…".

I nod wiping my tears against my hoodie again, "I know…and I'll never leave him" I whisper softly as I lean down gently kissing the side of his head.

We sit there for a while longer, the room silent as we both gaze and wait for him to wake.

I want to hear his voice.

I want him to tell me that it's all going to be okay.

"So….you said you did a test?" Grace looks at me, sitting directly opposite the other side of Christian's bed as we both hold each of his hands.

I nod and bites my lip softly.

Should I tell her?

Would it be okay to tell her before I told Christian?

The problem is, I'm deceived by own lips. They curl into a smile as I look back to Christian.

I'm pregnant.

We're pregnant.

I look back to Grace and she sees the deception of my lips.

Her eyes widen, her own lips curl into the brightest of smiles and her eyes begin to fill with tears.

"I'm going to be a grandmother?!" She says excitedly moving around to me. I stand and she takes me into the most loving and caring hug.

I wish my Mom were still here so I could tell her the news too. I wonder how she would have reacted.

I wonder what she would have thought of my life.

I wonder if she'd be proud.

I'm so grateful for Grace, I really am.

My own eyes start to fill with tears as she hugs me.

"I'm so so happy for you both" She smiles kissing my forehead.

"I didn't have a chance to tell Christian yet"

"When he wakes, I'll go and grab some coffees" She winks knowingly smiling brightly, "I can't believe I'm going to be a grandma, I'm so excited"

I giggle softly, "I can't believe I'm going to be a Mom"

"You're going to be amazing" She cups my cheek, "You and Christian, you deserve this, you deserve to be happy. I'm so proud of you both" We both start to cry as she hugs me again.

"Thank you Grace"

During our hug, I see a movement out of the corner of my eye.

Was that?

I pull back from Grace and I look to Christian.

She follows my gaze too, both of us gazing down at him.

He's stirring, ever so slowly, ever so grumbly as small pained noises escape his lips.

We both move to his side. I take his hand in mine and Grace's hand moves to my shoulder in anticipation of him waking.

"Christian? Christian?" I encourage him as I move my free hand to gently stroke through his hair.

I feel his fingers gently move against my hand and he manages to lace our fingers together.

"A-Ana?"

I start to sob with relief.

"I'm here Christian…I'm right here….I'm here" I lean over placing a kiss against his forehead.

I lean back and his eyes slowly flutter open, his meeting mine immediately. A small smile plastering his lips when he sees me.

"Ana" He whispers and gently squeezes against my hand.

I lean down gently cupping his cheek as I ever so softly press my lips to his.

"I'm here…you're okay…I'm here" I whisper and he kisses back softly.

I move back and he smiles seeing Grace there too, "Mom!".

She smiles brightly and leans down kissing his forehead, "You certainly like to keep us on our toes young man" She smirks teasingly as her eyes fill with tears of relief too.

She was obviously so worried too but tried to remain calm for my sake.

She knew he'd come around.

He smiles seeing her and chuckles softly at her words but winces with the pain, letting out a pained whimper.

"Relax darling, can I get you anything? How are you feeling?" She starts to fuss with his pillow.

She's an amazing mother.

"Water would great, please…" He smiles and tries to sit up but winces more.

"Let me help you," I say quickly seeing the pained expression on his face as Grace moves to the table near the window pouring him a glass of water.

I help him to move and prop his pillows up allowing him to sit up a little more.

He smiles watching me and once I'm done he gently takes my hand and guides me to sit at the edge of his bed.

He smiles lovingly at me and I lean in to kiss him softly.

"I love you" I whisper softly, "I was so scared".

"I'll never leave you…" He whispers smiling softly as he cups my cheek. I lean into his touch as he gazes into my eyes, gently stroking his thumb across my cheekbone "I love you too".

Grace smiles watching us and moves to hand Christian his water. With the injury in his shoulder, he can only use one of his hands properly without pain, so he removes his hand from my cheek to take the water.

"Thanks, Mom"

She smiles nodding, "Ana…Tea? I'm going to get myself a cup of coffee" She smiles edging me on.

"Tea would be lovely, thank you" I smile as she squeezes my shoulder and gives me a small knowing wink.

It's time.

She makes her leave and I look back to Christian as he sips his water.

"How are you feeling?" I bite my lip gazing over his hospital gown.

"I'll be okay, just really sore" He smiles and I take his glass once he's finished with it and puts it onto the bedside table. "I think it's time we move though, I can't risk anything like that happening again, I'm so pissed at myself I didn't think to check the apartment before we went inside if anything had happened to you" He sighs and I take his hand in mine.

"You weren't to know, I'm just glad you're okay," I say sadly as my tears start to form again remembering the amount of blood.

"And I'm glad you're okay… We're not going back there, I'm finding us a new place and until then we can stay with my Mom, I'm not risking it, not again" He says and gazes up at me sadly and I nod.

I bite my lip and gazes down at him, then I move my gaze to our entwined hands. He's playing with my wedding and it makes me smile, even through my tears.

"We may…uhm…we might have to look for something a little bit..bigger" I bite my lip and I lift my gaze back to meet his. He looks a little curious until I gently move our hands against my stomach.

I watch as his eyes fill with light and hope. Excitement and pride.

"You….We….You mean it?"

I nod giggling softly, My eyes pooling with new happy tears at his reaction "We're pregnant".

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	53. Chapter 53

Chapter 53…

7 months later

It's been an absolute whirlwind. As I stand here gazing out at the mountains and the Lake surrounding us, I think back to the first time I met her.

I did almost run her over, I did get out of my car and yell at her angrily. The look on her face, she was petrified and angry. But as soon as I drove away from her I found myself thinking about her constantly.

The way her bright, wide, piercing blue eyes stared into mine. The way her plump lips would move in an attempt to say something but nothing escaped.

Her slender and toned and beautiful body standing there at the side of the road as I yelled at her. Blaming her for my driving, driving too fast, blaming her for the way I had to break. Blaming the world and her for the way I acted.

I remember seeing her walking through the halls, my mind racing with thoughts of her, but my anger always brought me from the love I could have shown her so early on.

I was harsh, I was angry, but yet, she still cared. She still never ever gave up on me. She ended up falling in love with me just as much as I ended up falling for her.

I remember the parties when she'd get drunk and she'd make me so fucking angry because she was a stubborn little thing and never listened to my advice.

I remember seeing her at the cafe with Jack and I was ready to rip his fucking head off there and then, but it surprised me when she came after me.

The first months of knowing her, I was at my lowest, my angriest, my most jealous, my most hateful.

That was the old me, the old angry me, hating the world Christian, but now?

My life has been flipped and turned upside down.

My anger tamed and caged, my fury against the world died when she told me she'd forever be mine.

Mine.

Always mine.

Who would have thought all those years ago I'd be where I am now.

If it wasn't for her, I'd be dead.

Elena is still locked away and never to bother me again thanks to her.

Jack is locked away with attempted murder, breaking and entering and threatening behavior, sentenced to 25 years.

Every threat we have ever encountered has been removed from our lives for a very very long time.

We can finally look to the future.

She's stuck by me through every single moment, every single hardship, every single fight, every single angry moment. Every fucked up thing I've ever done or said, she's still here.

She's still at my side wearing her wedding ring proudly.

But now, things are a little different.

Since Jack broke into the apartment our life has become even better than before. My wounds have healed incredibly leaving small scars. One against my shoulder and one against my ribs, but what's another scar to add to my others already filling my body?

I think it just shows the hardships and the pain I've been through shows how far I've come and shows that if you have someone who loves you, you can accomplish anything.

My Mom helped us to find an amazing family mansion near the Lake where my Mom and Dad used to take us out on the family boat.

It's huge and beautiful, the view surrounding is honestly breathtaking.

We're surrounded by mountains, trees and tons of land and the large lake with no other houses nearby for miles. It's just us. It's quiet and peaceful and everything we need after everything we've been through.

It's an old fashioned style house but I think it suits Ana and me well. We both fell in love with it the moment we stepped in through the front door.

Within 2 weeks, we had completely moved in, decorated and made it our own.

After everything, we have high-quality security cameras surrounding the entire house, inside and out.

I've upped security for us too. Taylor has hired a bunch of security to help with the protection and they've all been incredible.

We have even hired Mrs. Jones, who helps to cook and clean for us while we're both at work for the long days.

With the house being so big, we have Taylor and Mrs. Jones living with us now too. I kind of like it though, It gives me a sense of relief knowing Taylor is always there, just in case, you know?

And Mrs. Jones, well she's amazing. I love Ana's cooking, but with work and the pregnancy, I know she's been finding it difficult and it's nice for us to both come home and everything sorted for us.

I've gained another 6 billion dollars at my company, so that's doing pretty well. I'm thinking of expanding actually, maybe having more company buildings in the big cities. I wonder how that would be?

I know Ana has done amazingly at SIP too. 6 of the manuscripts she's sifted through over the last 7 months have become well-published books now, she's found 3 new authors for the company and honestly, she's just incredible at her job.

That woman never ceases to amaze me.

"There you are" I'm brought of my thoughts hearing her wonderful and angelic voice.

I smile turning to face her, her lips curling into a smile when she finds me.

This house is so big.

I smile more as she waddles towards me with her baby bump and I gently move my arm around her kissing her softly. "Gail said dinner is almost ready," She says as she smiles against my lip.

"Perfect…how are you feeling?" I say as I gently run my hand through her hair gazing down into her eyes.

"Well your child is definitely going to be an active one, they haven't let me rest all day. Kicking and wriggling the whole time" She pouts teasingly, but her lips still form a smile making me chuckle at her reaction.

"I love you " I smile kissing her once more.

"I love you too" She whispers against my lips.

Our passion, our love, never fading. Still as strong as back in College.

"How about after dinner, we can sit out in the gardens by the lake and light a fire? Then I'll run us a bath before bed"

She nods eagerly and rests her forehead against my chest. Her arms moving around my waist and mine moving around her shoulders in a gentle caress.

"Sounds amazing" She smiles brightly and gazes up at me.

The baby bump resting against my stomach too.

I feel it kick against me and it makes me laugh.

I kneel down to the level of the large bump and gently rests my hand against her stomach.

"Hey little blip, you gonna give your Mommy a break today huh?" I hear her giggle at my words and she softly runs her hand through my hair as she gazes down at me smiling brightly.

I look up at her, and I can see the love and adoration in her eyes. I just hope she can see the same in mine.

Throughout the pregnancy, we've both been excited and nervous. Freaking out at some moments, then buying clothes and being all eager other moments.

The nursery is up and ready for the little one when it arrives. We have another 5 weeks to go yet.

I'm extremely nervous. Especially to hold it, like, how do I even hold it? Will it love me? Will it cry when I hold it? It freaks me out a little bit.

But knowing it's part of me, it's part of Ana. We made this little human together, it causes my stomach to do somersaults constantly just thinking about our future.

I lift up Ana's t-shirt and I place a gentle kiss against her skin. I feel the baby kiss against my lips and it makes me smile, even more, allowing me to whisper "I love you blip".

I see Ana's eyes fill with tears hearing my words. She's been so emotional lately too, the pregnancy has changed her, I smirk teasing as I stand once again and I kiss her softly.

"Let's go and get you two fed" I smile against her lips and she nods agreeing with me.

I lace our fingers as we make our way out of our bedroom, down the corridor to the winding stairs, making our way down, then along the corridor to the dining room.

I told you this house was huge.

We take our seats and Gail brings over an amazing chicken with lemon and herb sauce.

Ana's eyes light up at the sight and the smell making me laughs softly and she nudges me against the arm.

"I think the baby likes chicken" She smirks immediately digging in.

After dinner, we head out into the gardens.

I've set up a little seating area there, comfy garden sofas, a hammock, and a fire pit right in the center. The whole area gazing out at the lake around us. It's breathtakingly beautiful.

I light the fire and moves to the sofa next to Ana.

I gently grab the blanket I brought with us and I wrap it around her shoulders before I take her feet into my lap softly massaging them. Her ankles swollen, and I know she's been on her feet all day work.

She smiles gratefully and lays back gazing into the fire.

"I love our life," She says smiling as she looks back to me.

I nod in agreement, "It's pretty amazing, more than I ever could have imagined"

"It's all because of you"

I disagree.

I will disagree with that statement every day for the rest of my life.

"If it wasn't for you Ana, I wouldn't even be here, trust me this life, is everything because of you"

She moves to sit up and moves to straddle my waist. It's a weird but good feeling to have her so close, but the baby bump only allows give a small amount of contact.

She cups both my cheeks smiling and kisses me deeply, lovingly, tenderly.

We enjoy our embrace, enjoy each others company as the fire crackles and the water shines in the moonlight. It's a beautiful evening and I start to think about the baby.

I start to think about watching them running around the gardens. Taking them out onto our new boat.

Playing with them, teaching them, laughing with them, making memories with them.

It's the 3 of us now.

I smile as the fire starts to die down and Ana yawns sleepily.

She's exhausted bless her.

Luckily she finishes work for maternity leave next week. And honestly? I'm glad.

Her ankles keep swelling up, the baby keeps her awake all day and all night, I'll be glad when she finally finishes there so she'll hopefully be able to rest up and I can stop my worrying.

I escort her back up the house and runs us a bath which only lasts for a maximum of 15 minutes because she's so exhausted.

But it was nice while it lasted.

I honestly just enjoy laying in bed with her and holding. I just hope the baby calms tonight so she can actually sleep. Her eyes ate so droopy and bagged from the lack of sleep, I actually feel guilty.

I climb into the bed and waits for her to emerge from the bathroom.

I pull out my laptop to finish off a couple of work schedules while I wait for her to come out.

As I'm focussed on my laptop, I hear a thud in the bathroom and I look to the door curiously.

It's silent.

A little too silent.

I climb off the bed and I move to the door gently knocking.

"Ana? Ana are you okay?"

It's still silent.

"Ana open the door"

The door unlocks and when I open it, the pot of our toothbrushes are on the floor, along with the toothpaste.

Ana's eyes are wide in shock and surprise.

She's entirely in shock, that's why she wasn't replying to me.

She didn't know what to say.

Her eyes are wide and looking at me, then towards the floor.

It's covered in water.

Her hand gripping the sink to help her steady herself.

"Ana?" I rush to her side and she grips my arm holding herself up against me.

"Th-The baby…. it's coming…" She says with panic.

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Here's to the future of the Greys!

My next update will be next Monday guys as I'm heading away for a couple of days for my birthday. I hope you'll all stick with me until then and I promise there'll be an update soon!

Next stop, baby grey!


	54. Chapter 54

Chapter 54…

It has been a lovely evening. Gail made us a wonderful dinner consisting of chicken with a lemon and herb sauce.

After dinner, Christian and I sat down by the Lake gazing out at the scenery. I am completely and utterly In love with our new home and I can't believe it's truly ours. I keep thinking one day I'm going to wake up and it's all gone.

But as I gaze down towards Christian, feeling his long, talented fingers make work at my feet, my heart swells with love, contentment, and excitement.

Excitement for the future.

I never would have dreamed my life could turn out like this, but it has and I'm ever so grateful. It's all because of him and his determination and his love for me that has allowed us both to come as far as we have. He'll never admit it's all thanks to him, but I know.

Our little blip is going to be coming shortly, roughly in 6 weeks time. I can't wait to meet them but I'm a mixture of worry and excitement. I think Christian is the same too.

We decided not to find out the gender, we both kind of like the thrill of the surprise. As I lay there, feeling Christian massage my feet, my own hand moves to my stomach gently stroking against my bump. The little blip constantly moving inside of me. It's a very strange feeling and honestly? I think when this baby is born it's never going to sleep. I swear it's constantly awake inside of me and it's going to be a great soccer player the way it kicks around.

It's funny though. It always makes my heart swell, makes my blood run that little bit quicker with the excitement and adrenaline running through my veins when I feel it moving. It's ours, we made it.

I'm excited to leave work next week ready for my maternity leave, but at the same time, I'm going to miss being there so much. Mr. Roach hates me leaving, but I've already suggested him send me manuscripts through email so I can also work from home once the baby is born.

As I gaze out at the lake, and back to Christian, I feel my eyes starting to droop, slowly and slowly, and I'm almost asleep when Christian takes us back inside to head to bed.

Once we're back in our bedroom, I get dressed before heading into the bathroom to brush my teeth.

I'm gazing at myself in the mirror and I can see the prominent bags under my eyes, my face a little pale and I simply look exhausted.

Our little blip has kept me awake for days now, but I wouldn't change it for the world.

My lips curl into a smile as I continue to brush my teeth, my hand moving to my stomach where little blip has in fact seemed to calm down a little bit. Maybe I can get a few hours in if they remain asleep. They haven't been this quiet all day, must be exhausted poor little thing.

I gently stroke my thumb across my stomach as I continue to brush my teeth.

I move my toothbrush back into the container and rinses my mouth out with water.

Then, It hits me.

An unnatural shooting pain through my body.

My eyes widen as I grip onto the sink. My whole body starts to shake with panic sending the container with our toothbrushes flying to the floor.

I feel a small pinch and popping sensation down between my legs and then suddenly, there's a trickle of liquid running down my legs. When I look down to the ground, there's water starting to gather into a puddle around my feet.

Oh my gosh.

The baby.

I'm frozen, I just stand there In a panic as I look down at the water, the toothbrushes, then my baby bump.

My waters have just broken.

It's coming….the baby is coming…

"Ana? Ana are you okay?"

It sounds like a distant echo when I hear my name and I can't reply quick enough with the shock.

I'm still silent.

"Ana open the door" I hear his voice again and I slowly reach to the door turning the lock.

Once the door is open I feel another small shooting pain go through my body and my eyes widen.

My hand moving back to the sink, gripping it hard to keep myself steady.

My face scrunching into a pained expression until after a few seconds it fades away.

I gaze up at Christian and his own eyes are wide with surprise.

"Ana?" Christian rushes to my side and I quickly grip his arm with my spare hand to lean against him and steady myself more, as another wave rushes through me and lasts for a few more seconds.

I'm panting breathlessly as he holds me against him keeping me steady.

"Th-The baby…. it's coming…" I say with a panic.

With that Christian carefully takes me down to the car wanting me to get to the hospital as quickly as possible.

The drive is only 15 minutes but it seems like 15 hours as the pain starts to get worse and worse and worse as the time goes on. The gripes lasting longer and longer with every new clench I have.

I grip the armrests in the car and I start to panic.

"Christian….wh-what…what if somethings wrong? It's so…so early….It's not due yet…. I…Ahhhhh owwww…." I cry out in pain as another rush washes over me.

His hand reaches over as he drives. taking my hand in his and letting me squeeze with the pain, I can tell he's panicked too but he's trying to remain strong for my sake.

"Everythings going to be fine baby, don't panic now. Baby's come early all the time, Take deep breaths, google says deep breaths are good" He says, his voice lined with freight.

He's been googling? That's so sweet of him. He's been researching everything. This man owns my heart. Remind me again how I got so lucky?

I look over at him, my eyes filled with tears of panic, excitement, nervousness, worry, love. My lips curl into a small smile hearing his informative words. He's definitely been researching.

Once that last pain has gone I take a deep breath and rests back against the seat closing my eyes trying to keep my breathing steady.

As soon as we arrive at the hospital, another wave rushes over me and I cry out in pain almost dropping to the floor with the pressure, but luckily, Christian's strong arms are around me keeping me steady.

A nurse hears my cries and rushes over with a wheelchair.

I start to pant harder and harder.

The contractions coming harder and faster.

The next is always worse than the last.

I get taken into a private room, placed onto a bed with a new nightgown. They placed a monitor over my stomach recording the baby's heartbeat, my contractions, and my own heart rate.

With each new contraction, the pain consumed me, dominated my entire being. I couldn't think straight, I couldn't concentrate.

Christian whispering sweet nothings into my ear, holding my hand, brushing my hair back away from my face as my face scrunches up in pain, trying to make anything feel that little bit better for me, but nothing works.

The midwife enters the room quickly pulling on a pair of gloves.

"Hello Mrs. Grey, I'm Gloria…I'll be your midwife during the birth of your baby, let's take a look to see how we're doing" She smiles moving to my notes, first of all, looking at the current monitor results.

She's around 40 in age I'd say, very sweet, caring voice and presence, but I'm finding it hard to concentrate. I simply nod at her reply, whimpering in pain as I squeeze Christian's hand again. She moves closer to the bed.

Christian lifts my hand to his lips placing an ever so gentle kiss there.

"Okay, Ana… if you can just move your legs a little wider for me, you're going to feel a little pressure… if it's too much just let me know okay?"

I nod again in reply and looks down watching her as my breathing becomes heavier.

I'm so nervous, I'm so scared.

In the next 24 hours, our baby is going to be here and I am absolutely petrified.

I look up to Christian who's presenting the same worried expression.

But also holding an expression towards the midwife currently down between my legs. I guess he's not used to it either. I laugh softly to myself.

I feel the midwife's fingers below and between my legs. This is so weird. I'm a private person, so having anyone down there except for Christian is a little weird and foreign to me.

"I-Is…is the baby okay,? I'm..I'm meant to have… " I say through breaths. And Christian catches on when I struggle to complete the sentence starting to groan in pain again as another wave rushes through me.

"The baby is early, it's not due for another 6 weeks, we're both..I guess we're both a little worried," He says lacing our fingers and I can see the worry in his eyes.

"Baby is seeming to be doing fine and is very quickly on its way…. As it is premature, it will be a little smaller than your average, it may need a little help for the first few hours, but after seeing the results I'm happy that the baby is healthy. Once it's been born, the Doctor and I will take it, check its vitals and assure everything is in order. But for now, even though it's a small baby, it's heartbeat is as strong as anything. Don't worry Mr. and Mrs. Grey, I can assure you, you and your baby are in good hands. It's just excited to see it's Mommy and Daddy" She smiles brightly.

That makes me feel a little better.

Christian looks down at me with a small smile and leans down kissing my forehead.

I love him so much.

Gloria continues her checks before standing and removing her gloves.

"you're currently sitting at 6 centimeters dilated. We need to get you to 10 before we can start you pushing, time scales vary and can take anything from 1 hour to 12 but I'll be back and forth checking on you every 20 minutes okay? If you need anything in the meantime, press the buzzer and I'll be here immediately. There's gas and air at the side of your bed if the pain gets a little too much" She says looking to me and points to the long tube looking thing next to me. I nod in reply and she smiles finishing off her notes.

"I'm going to start getting everything prepared for you okay? If there's any change in the next 20 minutes before I come back, please don't hesitate to call me" She nods and squeezes my hand compassionately, "Your baby will be here soon".

I smile at her, filled with mixed emotion. I don't know whether to laugh or cry. The baby is coming.

I can't believe it.

She leaves the room, leaving Christian and me here alone.

Christian gently strokes against my cheek as I rest back against the bed.

"How are you feeling?" He smiles softly before leaning down kissing my lips.

I return the kiss willingly before he gently pulls back and moves to sit at the edge of my bed.

"I hurt…..everywhere…." I pout teasingly, "It's such a weird….very weird pain"

He chuckles softly and kisses me once more.

"Hopefully it'll be worth it when our little blip is here"

"It will be…" I smile more cupping his cheek just as another extreme rush waves through my body and I clench in an attempt to ease it but it does nothing.

I quickly reach for the gas and air the midwife mentioned before and I pull the tube to my lips and sucks on it deeply.

He moves to gently stroke the top of my back trying to soothe me.

"Is there anything I can do?"

I look at him as I suck harder while scrunching my nose up in pain once again.

"Keep your snake away from me from now on"

I wait for his reaction, he looks at me blankly. I can't tell whether he's about to laugh and is trying to stop himself or whether he's distraught at the thought.

Once the pain has eased I start to laugh, "Your face was hilarious" I laugh even more and he finally joins in with the chuckling.

"You're joking though…right?" He looks at me.

I laugh even more and I move to lay on my side as best I can, taking his hand, I lift it to my lips.

"I'm joking" I smile and I see the worry leave his face.

He's so funny bless him.

"Good! Because I don't think I could ever keep away from you" He laughs softly and leans down kissing me a little deeper this time.

I cup his cheek needing the contact before another contraction hits me harder than ever.

The tears start to roll down my cheeks and I feel the pressure building between my legs.

Another 3 hours pass and my contractions are constant now.

Our midwife, a trainee midwife and now a Doctor are now in the room as I'm fully dilated.

Christian has texted his Mom and my Dad about the early start and they've replied absolutely and completely excited.

I wish I could feel like that but right now I just want someone to rip the lower half of my body away from me. This is pain honestly like nothing I have ever experienced. It's the most pressurized and awful pain.

"I need to push…." I cry out as I squeeze Christian's hand harder than ever. I fear I might have broken it.

My cheeks are covered with pained tears, my body is already exhausted.

The midwife hears my pushing pleas and moves to measure me once again.

10cm.

"Okay Ana, we're ready to go…."

I look up to Christian and he's completely engrossed in what's going on. He's so excited to meet the little thing, but judging from his facial reactions I think he's currently overwhelmed and scarred for life at the horror between my legs.

Great.

I feel so exposed I want to die.

"How long does it take?" Christian asks the midwife as she's pulling on a new pair of gloves.

"Shouldn't be too much longer now, If Ana needs to push that's a really good sign" She smiles and then moves back between my legs. "Okay Ana, on your next contraction I want you to take some small breaths and then a nice big push for me okay?"

I nod and Christian takes my hand tightly, he leans down kissing my head.

"I love you, Ana, you're so brave and strong…you can do this"

"I…I…Love you too….Ahhhhhh…." Another one starts and I take a small deep breaths before pushing.

I feel as though my veins may come popping out of my temples. I feel like as if my insides are being ripped out. I feel like my back is being broken into a million pieces. I think my heart is pounding so fiercely it may come striking through my skin.

"That's Ana, keep going….keep going….keep going….." The midwife encourages but once the contraction is gone. I fall back exhausted against the pillow.

"It hurts so much" I sob out as I suck on more gas and air, closing my eyes. My body completely and utterly exhausted and drained.

"I know sweetheart, but it shouldn't be too much longer now okay?"

The Doctor comes over checking me too.

They start to talk to each other and I look down watching them. Both nodding and mumbling. My hearing starting to fuzz as I suck on the gas and air more.

I look up to Christian who is also a little blurry and I giggle reaching up poking his nose.

"Ana?" He laughs gently stroking my arm.

"You're all blurry" I laugh softly before crying out again.

"Okay Ana…the same again okay? Three….two….one….."

I push as hard as I can.

The blood rushing through my entire body at what feels like 1000000 miles per hour.

Sweat covering my entire body.

"I can see the head…..come on Ana, you're almost there"

"Really?! you can?" Christian says a little excitedly and the trainee midwife smiles at him.

"Come and see…." He looks at me and I nod smiling as I rest back against the bed in exhaustion once again. Panting breathlessly.

He moves to the bottom of the bed beside the main midwife and I watch him.

I watch as his eyes widen.

I am so embarrassed right now.

His lips curl into a smile. His eyes start to fill with tears and I watch as he wipes them away as they attempt to roll down his face.

"That's it?"

"Mhmm…That's it…one more push and your little one will be in your arms"

I watch Christian and he finally moves back beside me. He wipes his eyes once more and leans down kissing my head. "I love you so much".

My smile grows as my own tears start to curse my eyes seeing his reaction. He's going to be such an amazing Dad.

"Okay, Ana…we've got one more okay? Whenever you're ready to push…."

I nod and within seconds the pressure builds making me push.

"Keep going Ana….keep going…keep going…."

The pressure filling between my legs has gone, I feel empty. I fall back against the pillow panting hard, sweating, my eyes drooping with exhaustion.

But…

As soon as I hear that noise.

Everything seems to be okay. The hours and hours of pain and worry was worth it.

That noise that fills my heart with love, fills my ears with music, fills my soul with pride.

I look to Christian who has tears completely flowing.

Our little Blip's cries wave through our eardrums.

It's so quiet, and quaint and the sweetest noise. More of a smaller whimper than a cry.

Our baby.

That's our baby.

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Thank you, everyone, for the birthday messages from the last post! I had an amazing time away and as promised, here's your Monday chapter! Please enjoy!

Another one will be on its way very very soon to make up for the wait!

Thankyou everyone, please enjoy!


	55. Chapter 55

Chapter 55…

I feel like a dick sitting here with no pain what so ever watching Ana cry out in agony every few seconds.

The way she twists and turns at the pain has my heartbreaking for her.

But, I just have to stay positive, it'll be worth it in the end when we have our little blip here with us.

If I could switch places with her, I would.

"Keep your snake away from me from now on"

Wait, what?

She's joking, right? Fuck.

I don't know if she's joking or being serious, I want to laugh, but if she's serious I don't want to piss her off either.

My inner laughter fighting my lips.

"Your face was hilarious," she says as she starts to laugh at my reaction, thank fuck she's joking.

I keep taking her hand, rubbing her back, stroking her arm in an attempt to soothe her. I keep whispering soft nothings into her ear which make her smile for about 2 seconds until another rush of pain spirals through her body.

I feel so terrible, but I can't deny it, I'm so excited to meet the little thing now. As I'm sitting here, the hours passing on the more questions start to fill my head.

Is it a boy?

Is it a girl?

Will it have my eyes or Ana's?

Will it have Ana's hair or mine?

Will it sleep well?

How small is it going to be?

How am I supposed to hold it?

Will it cry when I hold it?

Will it like our home?

What will Mom's reaction be when she comes to visit it? And Mia's. And Kate. And Elliot's. And Dad's and Ray's.

Will it love me?

What if it doesn't love me?

Will it like cuddles? I know I didn't as a child.

But there's one thing I do know…

That our little blip will never experience anything Ana or I did…

Our little blip will be loved completely and utterly, it will be protected, it will want for nothing.

I'll spoil it with the world whether it's a boy or girl. Right now I just hope it's healthy and I hope Ana stays healthy after the birth too.

Google really does give you some nightmare scenarios I'd rather not repeat because I'm trying to stay positive and not freak out for Ana' sake.

Yes, I googled. I wanted to be there for Ana, I wanted to know what to do and what expect, I know it probably sounds stupid, but it gave me a piece of mind.

"It hurts so much" Ana sobs out squeezing my hand as she sniffles resting back. She looks absolutely exhausted bless her.

I keep brushing her hair out of her sweaty forehead but it just keeps finding its way back there and sticking once again.

She keeps sucking from this tube, I have no idea exactly what it's doing but apparently, it helps with the pain.

"Ana?" I laugh softly, gently stroking her arm trying to soothe her.

"You're all blurry" She laughs at me completely out of it, before her laughs turn into more sobs and she starts crying out again.

"Okay Ana…the same again okay? Three….two….one….." The midwife moves back between her legs and she looks up at me.

Her eyes completely drooping, her face pale but also a blood-red with the pressure from pushing. It's a strange contrast.

"I can see the head…..come on Ana, you're almost there"

Wait? What? Our baby's head? It's already here? My heart starts racing in my chest. Excitement and panic completely consuming my body.

It's happening, it's really happening.

"Really?! you can?" I say maybe a little too excitedly and when Ana collapses back against the bed in exhaustion, I feel so guilty.

I can't wait for the baby to be here and for Ana to finally get some rest, she needs it.

The trainee midwife lets out a small giggle at my reaction and waves her hand slightly for me to move a little closer.

"Come and see…"

Can I go and see?

Is that weird?

Do I really want to look?

I look to Ana who is completely exhausted and tired out. But she gives me a small nod and a smile encouraging me to do so.

Okay…well… here goes nothing.

I keep my hand in Ana's as I move beside her leg and looks down.

There it is.

The head of our precious little baby.

The baby that Ana and I made together.

I still can't believe it.

It has definitely changed though, It's a little weird looking at Ana with all this happening, but honestly? I think it just makes me love her even more.

This shows her strength, her persistence, her bravery, her love.

But I must admit, it's not the prettiest of sights.

Thinking of Ana, and now seeing the baby, stirs something deep within me. I feel my eyes tearing up. I feel my cheeks changing temperature and I just know they're probably red now.

My tears start to fall and I quickly attempt to wipe them away before I'm caught but I've already failed. I see Ana's glossy eyes meet my own.

She caught me.

I smile softly at her before I move back to her side.

I sit beside her kissing her forehead and whispers, "I love you so much".

I am completely consumed by this woman, she has my complete heart, always has and always will.

She never ceases to amaze me.

"Okay, Ana…we've got one more okay? Whenever you're ready to push…."

She squeezes my hand tightly as she begins to push once again.

The veins in her temple becoming more prominent with the pressure. I stroke her back edging her on and trying to comfort her.

"Keep going Ana….keep going…keep going…."

She falls back completely exhausted. Panting breathlessly, her body sweaty and drained, her eyes closed trying to compose herself.

That's when we hear it and I watch as her eyes pop open.

The small soft whimpers of our baby entering into the world. She sits up a little more, despite the pain and agony she's been through, she still manages to move to take our baby into her arms.

The tears brimming in my eyes once again.

The midwife wraps the baby into a small towel like thing and moves it into Ana's arms which she willingly takes.

I watch as the tears roll down her cheeks like a fountain and her lips curl into the brightest smile.

"Congratulations Mr. and Mrs. Grey, you have a little boy" She smiles brightly and stands at the end of the bed.

It's a boy.

It's a fucking boy.

Shit, it's tiny.

How am I supposed to hold him?

I wasn't expecting him to be that small. Poor little thing.

The midwife said he was excited to see us, so I'll stick with that thought. That's why he's so small.

I feel so emotional, I can't deal with it.

I never thought I would ever feel this way about anything or anyone.

I feel happy, proud, overwhelmed.

I gaze down at Ana and our little baby, who calms as soon as he's cuddled against Ana's chest. The whimpers have stopped and he seems to know Ana's voice already.

Our little guy.

The trainee midwife offers me scissors and I look curious, "Would you like to cut the cord?" she gestures to the cord still attaching Ana and our little guy.

The midwife helps to sort it out and Ana smiles tearfully at me as she watches me cut through the cord.

I lean down kissing her deeply and she whispers against my lips, "I love you".

"I love you…both of you" I smile against her lips.

"I just need to take him for a moment we have to weigh him, check him over, but he seems perfectly fine " The Doctor takes him from Ana's arms and he immediately starts crying once again making me laugh. I smirk down at Ana and I take her hand.

Ana's eyes remain on our little man as he's taken away and she watches them intently, she's already so protective and so am I.

I can't believe he's finally here.

He's cleaned up from all the blood and gunk, he's checked and weighed before bringing him back over.

"There we go Mommy….all nice and clean" Ana's eyes light up when she's handed our little guy back into her arms.

I can see and feel the love radiating from her.

"Hi baby" She whispers smiling and leans down kissing his head.

I listen to Ana whisper softly, humming, cradling him against her.

The emotions still running raw through my own body.

As excited as I am to hold him myself, I want to let Ana take all the time she needs first.

She went through the hours of labor, I can wait.

Impatiently, of course, but I can wait.

"So, he's very small…only 6 pound and 1 ounce but his heart is great, his mobility is fine…we'll keep an eye on him for the next 24 hours because of his size, but I have no worries" The midwife smiles gazing down at him herself, "Will you be bottle or breastfeeding?" She looks to me then back to Ana.

We spoke about it, but It wasn't a very in-depth conversation. We thought we had a little more tie to think about this stuff.

I'll let Ana take this one.

She looks up at me and I give her a reassuring smile knowing it's her choice.

"I think I'll see how he breastfeeds"

The midwife nods, "Great choice, especially with him being so small, he'll get everything he needs from you and the contact will also benefit him greatly"

Ana seems pleased with this when she takes my hand in her free one.

I gaze down at him as he starts to wriggle slightly, making little noises inside the blanket.

After a little while, we're left alone with him, finally.

Once he had all his checks, Ana had hers and they were happy with the outcome of both, they left us with some alone time, checking on them every 30 minutes.

"Do you want to hold him, daddy?" Ana smirks up at me and I nod eagerly.

Finally, I feel like I've been waiting for days.

I must admit I am so nervous.

I still have no idea how to hold him.

I sit beside Ana with a small smile and I think she can see the nervousness in me.

"It's okay…" She smiles reassuringly, "Cradle his head and cuddle him against you" She gently hands him over and helps me place my hands to keep him secure. He whimpers slightly at the loss of contact but as soon as Ana helps me cuddle him into my arms he soon settles down.

I'm so grateful I have her.

"Hi little man, I'm your Daddy" I smile gazing down at him when he's finally in my arms.

He is so fucking tiny, shit. He looked small in Ana's arms, but it mine he looks like a doll.

He could probably fit in the palm of my hand if I tried.

I'm so fucking nervous, shit, I freeze holding him.

I'm too scared to move and Ana giggles softly watching me.

"It's okay Christian…he's okay…" She smiles lovingly at me and watches us together. She leans up gently stroking the tip of his nose as I old him.

He wriggles a little in the blanket and I look to Ana.

"I'm worried I'll hurt him," I say honestly and she smiles softly and cups my cheek.

"You won't" She kisses my cheek.

I look down at him smiling, "He's so tiny"

Ana nods and he continues to fuss and wriggles in the blankets.

"He's trying to get comfy…here…" She leans up and gently starts to remove my shirt, she carefully slips the one side off my shoulder. "Come and lay beside me and lay him against your chest".

I nod doing as she says and I move beside her, she smiles watching and as soon as I lay back and carefully moves him to lay against my skin, he calms his wriggling and his fist moves into his tiny little mouth sucking on it softly.

Ana reaches for the blanket she brought in her maternity bag and covers him with it to keep him warm against my chest. She then moves into my side and rests her head onto my other shoulder.

I can't believe this is real, I'm so worried I'm going to wake up and all this be a dream.

My family, my perfect, small, loving little family.

I dip my head down a little and kisses the top of his tiny head and Ana smiles, lifting her index finger and gently stroking his tiny little cheek.

"He's got your nose" She giggles smiling up at me.

"You think so?" I chuckle but grins proudly. "Our little man," I say and it makes Ana's eyes well with tears again.

"I can't believe he's really here" She sniffles.

"It's all thanks to you baby, you did all the work" I smile and I move my free arm around her and holds her close to me, "I love you so much".

"I love you" She smiles sniffling and kisses me gently.

I kiss her back lovingly.

Our little man seems to have fallen asleep on my chest, my fingers gently stroking against his small and tiny back.

He's so adorable, it fills my heart with such love.

"Are we still going with the name we thought of?"

Ana smiles looking back to him when I ask, her lips curl into a bigger smile and she nods.

"I think it's perfect, what do you think?"

"I think it's perfect too".

My smile grows gazing down at our perfect little guy, his little eyes closed still sucking against his little fist.

"Our little Theodore Raymond Grey, Mommy, and Daddy love you so much little man, I'll protect you forever".

I kiss the top of his head gently and Ana's eyes fill with tears again at my words.

"Our little Teddy" Ana whispers smiling as he tears start to fall once again, "How do I even have any water left in me to cry?" She sobs laughing as she wipes away her tears.

I chuckle hearing her and I gently cup her cheek kissing her. My kiss is full of love, pride, compassion, excitement.

This is it now, This is our life.

The 3 of us.

Our future.

My future.

My family.

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	56. Chapter 56

Chapter 56…

I don't remember falling asleep, but now I'm stirring awake and I hear the faint voice of Christian in the distance.

The last I remember is laying against his shoulder with Teddy on his chest.

I stir a little more, my eyes slowly trying to fight their way open.

Wow, I am so sore. I hurt everywhere.

I hear his voice and I look up seeing him standing in the window.

When did he manage to move off the bed?

How did I not feel him?

Wow, I must have been completely out of it.

I'm so sore I can hardly move, but honestly? The sight I've woken up to right now, I don't want to move.

My lips curl up into the biggest smile as I look across the room to where Christian's voice is coming from.

I gaze over and he's standing at the window as he gently rocks Teddy in his little beige blanket. I can see Teddy's little hands moving every so often above the blanket as Christian talks.

He's gazing down at him with such love in his eyes it makes my heart melt.

My husband, My baby.

My family.

I feel the proud tears welling up in my eyelids.

I can hear his voice, but I'm finding it hard to hear what he's saying.

I concentrate a little harder and finally, I can just about hear his words.

"Your Daddy was a bad man when your Mommy first met him…. not because I was bad, but because I didn't have the best start in life and I didn't think anyone or anything could love me, I thought my life was a deep, dark black hole and it would never get any better.

But your Mommy..she saved me…she saved me so many times…

She loved me regardless of what I did, or what I said… She loved me despite all of the bad…

I loved her so much but it took me a while to admit it"

I continue to watch and listen, lifting my hand to gently wipe my tears away hearing his words. He hasn't noticed I'm awake yet and I think he's enjoying his cuddles and I don't want to disturb that.

"Your Mommy is the most beautiful, kind, caring, loving person in the whole world and we're so lucky that she chose me…because now…now we have you…"

Teddy's little hand moves and Christian laughs slightly at his movements. "Yes…we have you…you're finally here" He leans down kissing Teddy's little head. "I love you, my boy….I promise…you'll have the most amazing life and I only wish and hope one day you'll find a woman as amazing as your Mommy, Just like I did".

"He'll only need one woman in his life until he's at least 30" I smirk teasingly, my voice a little groggy from the soreness.

I watch him turn and Christian smiles brightly but also looks a little shy at being caught, not realizing I was awake and listening. I smile brightly at him and reaches my hand towards him for him to come closer.

"He got a little fussy when he woke up and I didn't want to wake you…" He smiles and I nod smiling more too.

Christian sits at the side of my bed and I gently cup his cheek, kissing him lovingly, I need this, he needs this. "I'll always save you" I smile softly against his lips referring to his little story to Teddy, pulling back and I watch as his lips curl up even more.

Teddy's little hand moves above the blankets and when I look down his eyes are finally open.

Oh my gosh.

His eyes….so wide, bright, big.

Christian has definitely put his stamp on this little guy, he's already like a mini Christian.

"Hi, my baby…have you been having Daddy's cuddles? Huh? Daddy telling you lots of stories?" My smile grows even more and I gently lift him into my arms and cuddles him close against me, stroking and caressing his little cheek as his eyes gaze up at me.

"I didn't know any stories…so..I thought I'd tell him mine" Christian says as he kisses my temple and it makes me look up at him with such a loving gaze.

Teddy starts to fuss a little and I look back down at him, "Your Daddy is the most protective, loving, hard-working man and I loved him from the moment I met him…and I will thank him every single day for giving me the most amazing life and most handsome and beautiful baby boy" I giggle when Teddy wriggles and his eyes find Christian's. "Daddy's boy already huh" I smirk teasing and giggles.

"What can I say…" Christian smirks back and kisses me softly.

After a little while, Teddy starts to wriggle more and whimpers sucking against his fist.

I'm guessing that means he's hungry?

I'm a little nervous, I must admit.

What of it doesn't work? Or he doesn't want it? Or he doesn't like it?

Would a bottle be better?

I don't know.

I panic a little as I gently cradle him against me letting me move the shoulder of my nightgown down so my breast is revealed.

"Are you okay?" Christian asks as he gently strokes his hand through my hair.

Is my nervousness that obvious?

I bite my lip and looks up at him, "I'm…just a little worried… nervous I guess".

"He'll be okay," Christian says reassuringly and I cradle Teddy against me guiding him towards my nipple.

I watch him wriggle and his eyes close.

I guide him a little closer letting his lips come into contact and to my relief he latches on almost immediately.

I sigh a little with relief and I smile gently stroking the back of his as he feeds.

"That…looks so weird…almost as weird as seeing his head popping out of you"

Ewww!

Christian!

I almost burst into a burst of embarrassed laughter but first I nudge him hard in the side then laughs out loud awkwardly wanting to die, "That is disgusting!".

"Yeah…it was…I saw it" He laughs teasingly kissing my head again.

"Christian!"

"I'm sorry baby, I'm sorry" He laughs a little more, "Can I get you anything? How are you feeling?"

"Just some water please and I'm really sore, but I'm fine…Now he's finally here"

He nods in agreement and kisses my cheek before he heads to the table pouring me a glass of water and bringing it back over.

Teddy is still guzzling down against me and I giggle softly watching him.

"I still can't believe how small he is…"

"Me neither…the way he's guzzling off me though, he'll be a chub in a no time" We both chuckled softly.

Christian's phone starts to ring and he reluctantly moves to his coach jacket over on the sofa to grab it.

"Hello?

Hey Mom…

Yeah…. he's doing good, he's small…6 pounds 1…

Yeah…

Yeah…

Two seconds, I'll ask her…"

He covers the bottom of the phone so she can't hear and turns looking and talking to me, "Mom wants to know if you're feeling up to visitors and when she can come and visit?"

I smile, "Whenever she's ready…I'd better call my Dad too…"

He nods and removes his hand from the bottom of the phone,

"Ana said whenever you're ready…

Yeah…

Yeah…Ana's doing really well, she's sore…. no, she doesn't mind,

yes…okay… perfect. We'll see you soon"

I smile listening to their conversation. Their bond has grown so much since I first knew them.

"Can you call my Dad too?" I smile at Christian who nods and starts to dial my Dad.

"Hi, Ray….

They're both doing amazing… just calling to say whenever you want to come and visit, Ana said she'd love to have you here to meet your grandson…

Yeah….

Sure…

Perfect, we'll see you soon, Bye Ray"

Christian smiles and makes his way back to the bed.

"He's on his way"

I smile more nodding. "I'm excited for them to see him"

"Everyone else will be lucky to have cuddles with my Mom around, she won't be able to put him down I already know it" We both laugh smiling.

Teddy unlatches from my breast and nuzzles against me falling back asleep and I can't help but to keep him close and gaze over his perfect features.

As he sleeps, my finger gently traces along his hairline, his nose, his chin, his cheeks.

He's absolutely perfect and I can't contain my bright loving smile as I watch him peacefully sleep curled into my arms.

He's so small, so tiny, so fragile. But he's our little guy and I'm so grateful he's here.

My little family.

I look up to Christian who is also gazing down at him with such love it makes my heart want to combust.

"How did I get so lucky…." He whispers as he moves his arm around my waist and I smile leaning back slightly and rests my head against his shoulder.

"How did I get so lucky…" I whisper back smiling.

"He's so perfect…" Christian reaches down gently stroking Teddy's tiny little hand, then to our surprise Teddy's tiny little fingers grasp around Christian's. It's such a funny sight because Christian's finger seems completely huge compared to Teddy's entire tiny hand, but the image is something I will forever remember.

"He is…he's honestly the image of you…" I smile more.

"You think so?" Christian says with a hint of pride.

"Definitely…"I giggle smiling, "He's certainly a Grey" I wink smiling making Christian chuckle.

"I just can't believe he's really here"

"Me neither"

I smile more and we stay like that for a while longer, just the three of us. Holding each other.

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So what do we all think so far? How are we finding baby Grey? Enjoyed the story?

I just want to give a huge thank you to all of my readers and reviewers over the chapters, you truly have inspired and encouraged and gave me the confidence to continue writing.

I think I'll be wrapping this story up within the next few chapters…. but I have more story ideas to come! I hope you'll all stick around for the future!

I am open to any ideas/storylines if you have anything specific in mind and I can try to incorporate them into future stories. PM with any ideas guys, I'll look forward to hearing from you!


	57. Chapter 57

Chapter 57…

"Do you want me to take him?" I smile as Ana rests Teddy against her shoulder gently rubbing his back as she burps him after his feed.

I can tell in eyes she's still tired and honestly? I'm not even surprised.

Everything she'd done and been through, I think I'd be asleep for a week after that.

But I know she's fighting the tiredness because Teddy is finally here.

Our little man is here with us and neither of us can put him down.

He's going to be so spoilt.

"Sure…I might try and get dressed into something else…" She gently hands Teddy up to me and I lean him against my shoulder continuing Ana's actions waiting for his burp.

"Do you need any help?"

She smiles at me, "I think I'll be okay, thank you though" She carefully and slowly moves off the bed, wincing at her own movements.

She must be so sore, it makes me feel guilty.

I watch as she takes her clothes into the en suite bathroom we have here in the private hospital room before turning my head to look down at Teddy.

I hold him against me but I only need one hand he's so tiny. His little cheek rested against my shoulder, his tiny little eyes closed shut and his lips slightly parted as he sleeps.

He's so perfect.

I continue to gently rub his back as I walk around the room with him.

After about 2 minutes, I finally hear a surprisingly loud burp come from such a small and tiny little thing. I chuckle to myself until I look down.

Well, thank you, Teddy. Just what I always wanted.

At some point during the burp, he's managed to regurgitate some of it back up and onto my shoulder and down my shirt.

Fabulous.

"Thanks, Teddy" I can't help but chuckle when he wriggles and simply gets comfy again, once his burped has released.

I start to look through Ana's maternity bag, I don't know why. In the hope she's packed an extra shirt, I don't know why she would, but there's no harm in looking.

Nope, there's nothing.

Great.

I wonder if I can ask Mom to bring me some.

I gently lay Teddy down into the small cot the hospital provides and I cover him in his blanket to keep him warm.

He must feel the loss of contact because he immediately starts to fuss around, wriggling and his eyes open.

Shit, he's awake again.

"I'm sorry buddy….Daddy will have you back in just a second…Shhh…Sh….it's okay…it's okay…Daddy's here" I try to soothe him but nothing works.

My quick thinking leads me to quickly pull my shirt off, wipe myself over with one the baby wipes Ana luckily has packed and finally lifts him back into my arms.

"See…Daddy's here…" I kiss his head and I wrap him in his blanket and lays him into my arms.

His movements calm as does his whimpers and he soon nuzzles against the blankets and falls right back off to sleep.

"Is he okay?" Ana opens the door. She must have heard his little cries.

When she sees me, no shirt on, I watch as she bites her lip looking at me with such a curious expression.

"Teddy gave me a present" I chuckle and gestures to my shirt now on the floor.

She tries to stifle her laugh but completely fails.

"Well aren't you lucky" She smirks moving to me and gazing down at a once again sleeping Teddy.

"Very lucky…the best present I ever got" I chuckle, "I laid him down to take my shirt off and clean up and he started crying, I think he likes his cuddles"

My smile grows as does Anas.

"I still can't believe how perfect he is," She says smiling and looks up at me.

The love she shows through her gaze, to me and Teddy, I can't explain with words. It's overwhelming.

I bend my knees slightly and captures her lips with my own which she willingly reciprocates,

"You look beautiful" I whisper against her lips smiling.

She's only in a pair of sweats and a plain black t-shirt, but honestly? After everything I've watched her do, everything I've watched her go through, she is beautiful right now in this moment. She has a baby glow and it makes me swoon even more for her.

Her cheeks blush and it makes me smile even more.

"I'm gonna ring my Mom, see if she can bring me some shirts… I think maybe like 3 just incase" We both laugh and Ana nods in agreement.

"I brought some stuff for me and Teddy, but I didn't think you'd need anything, I'm sorry," She says with a small laugh as she kisses my cheek.

"It's okay, you already had a lot to think about" I smile kissing the top of her head before pulling out my phone.

"I'll get him changed while you're on the phone," She says as she gently takes him from my arms and I start to call my Mom.

I watch Ana as she carefully and gently changes him into an adorable blue little baby grow thing as my Mom's phone rings and rings.

"Christian?" My Dad answers.

"Hey Dad, is Mom with you?"

"Yeah she's driving us up to the hospital now, is everything okay?"

"Could I ask a huge favor before you get here? Teddy gave me a little present and I have no spare clothes, could you stop by our house to grab me some things?"

I hear them both laughing at the other of the phone. Glad they think it's funny, I start to laugh myself.

"Of course son, we won't be long…"

"Thanks, Dad"

I hear mumbled talks coming from both of them.

"Your Mom asked do you need anything else? Does Ana need anything? The baby?"

"Uhmm…let me ask Ana"

I cover the bottom of the phone and looks over to her as she's sat back onto the bed cradling Teddy and gazing down watching him sleep once again.

"Ana?"

"Hmm?" She looks up smiling.

"Mom and Dad asked if you want anything? And do we need anything for Teddy?"

"Uhm…I think Teddy is okay…." She thinks for a moment, "Oh some real food would be a lifesaver, this hospital food is so bland" She pouts making me laugh more and I nod.

"Hey Dad, could you just grab me and Ana some food? And then my clothes…. But we're good for everything else"

I hear him laugh, he must have heard Ana's bland comment.

"Of course son, we won't be long, see you soon".

"Thanks, Dad, see you soon".

I hang up and I look to Ana, watching her once again with Teddy.

How did I ever get so lucky with her? Honestly?

She is completely amazing.

I smile more opening my camera app and taking a few pictures of her with Teddy, setting one where she's smiling brightly down at him.

Fuck, I've been caught.

She's smirking over at me and reaches her hand out to me.

"Come here…"

I smile walking over and she takes my phone from my hand.

"Smile!" She says as she flips the screen and it faces towards us.

When we turn it back and look at it, it's the most adorable and loving picture.

Our first family picture together.

I'm smiling brightly gazing at Ana, Teddy is nuzzled against Ana's chest and Ana is smiling brightly towards the camera.

"Awww…I love it" Ana smiles and looks up at me.

"I love you," I say back at her.

Her lips curl even more and she whispers against my lips, "And I love you".

I kiss her softly until there's a knock at the door.

I look to Ana smiling then to door and makes my way over to open it.

"Christian" Ray smiles brightly.

"Ray! Come in!"

He makes his way inside with a large 'it's a boy' balloon, a bunch of flowers and a few others bits and pieces I'm assuming are for Teddy.

"Dad!" Ana says excitedly and he makes his way over to her leaning down and kissing the top of her head.

"Annie, my sweetheart…Look at you!" He says so enthusiastically, he's so proud of her it's an amazing thing to watch.  
I chuckle moving to the couch letting Ray have his time with Ana and Teddy, but with me still, close by.

"Look at this little guy…I can't believe I have a grandson" He says smiling brightly gazing down at Teddy. "My goodness, he is the image of you Christian".

That causes me to grin proudly like a school kid.

"I tried" I tease making Ana laugh.

"How's he been doing is he okay?" Ray smiles making a fuss, putting the flowers at Ana's bedside table and the balloon beside the bed.

"Thanks, Dad…" Ana smiles seeing his gifts, "He's been really good, sleeping, eating… but He got sick all over Christian that's why he doesn't have a shirt on…Grace is bringing him some" Ray laughs at that.

Thanks, I'm glad everyone else finds it funny.

I'm just grateful it's warm in this room.

We all laugh softly.

"Do you want a cuddle?" Ana smiles up at Ray seeing the clear excitement on his face and he nods eagerly.

"I'd love to"

Ana gently lifts Teddy up and Ray takes him into his arms carefully and sits in the chair beside Ana's bed.

Ana smiles over at me and gestures with her head for me to move beside her which I willingly do.

I sit at the side of her and kisses the top of her head as I move my arm around her and she leans into my embrace.

She gently laces our fingers at her side and smiles watching her father with her son.

"He's completely precious Annie, I'm so proud of you" He gently wipes away a tear.

"Thanks, Dad" Ana smiles brightly and squeezes my hand.

"Did you pick a name?" He looks up at us, and Ana nods biting her lip then smiles looking up at me.

"Theodore Raymond Grey" I smile informing him of the news.

"R-Raymond?" He looks a little shocked and I see more tears fill his eyes.

Ana nods and giggles softly, "He has the Grey's last name, so I wanted something that can be from you too…" She says smiling and her own tears start to well up when she sees Ray start to cry.

"I have no words…I…I'm overwhelmed" He wipes his tears.

Ana smiles more and reaches for his hand which he squeezes proudly and kisses her knuckles.

"I love you Annie my girl, and Christian, I'm so proud of you, thank you for taking care of her"

"Trust me, Ray, it's her whose been looking after me" we all laugh softly as Ray continues his cuddles with little Teddy.

I'm enjoying my own with my wife again.

I'll have to get used to sharing her now, but for Teddy, I will.

There's a small knock at the door and we all look over as it slowly starts to open, My Mom and My Dad make their way into the room barely able to see them over the balloons and flowers they have.

Ana laughs softly and nuzzles against my neck.

"Someone's being spoilt"

"Hey, I deserve it" She smirks teasingly.

"Yes, you do" I smile pecking her lips.

"Christian, Ana…Ray…." They greet us all and after a quick hug to me and Ana, Mom moves immediately behind Ray gazing down at Teddy who has recently started to stir awake.

I watch his little hands move above the blanket and we both know he's about to wake.

"Here's your shirts son, we brought jeans just incase too" He smirks jokingly but with a hint of seriousness.

Great, I'll start preparing for puked jeans too.

Ana laughs at my reaction.

"Thanks, Dad" I smile pulling out the black shirt and pulls it over my head.

"Look at that darling little face….oh my goodness look at his eyes… Christian, he is so much like you"

She swoons over him and My Dad takes his place beside her.

Ray offers her cuddles which she takes immediately but I honestly think Ray was reluctant to let him go, enjoying the cuddles too.

Mom takes him into her arms and gently rocks.

"He is absolutely beautiful…so perfect… how are you doing Ana?"

"I'm really well, thankyou…I'm glad he's finally here"

"So….what name did you decide?"

Ana looks to me, "Theodore Raymond Grey" We both smile saying it at the same time.

"That is absolutely perfect " She sniffles smiling.

"We also brought you guys a Dominoes meal deal… Grace said Ana would die for a pizza after childbirth" My Dad says laughing and Ana nods eagerly.

"That's amazing and she's right….oh my gosh thank you so much!" Ana says a little excitedly at the food making me chuckle beside her.

My Dad puts the boxes on the bed next to us, a large pizza, a box of wedges, a box chicken wings, a box of garlic pizza bread and a bottle of coke.

"Oh my gosh, I'm in heaven" Ana almost moans out her words as the pizza makes contact with her taste causing everyone to laugh.

"You're welcome darling" My Mom smile at her as she continues to cradle Teddy.

It's been a perfect day for us all.

It's been great seeing our parents and great seeing them bond with Teddy.

He was passed around like a bottle of wine bless him, but the shower of love he received was so worth it.

Everyone taking pictures, everyone talking, reminiscing, swooning over our new little arrival.

I am so filled with pride I could combust.

My life now is more than I ever dreamed.

My wife, my son, My family

Ray, My Mom and dad all stayed at our house that night wanting to stay to close for a little while so they can all make the most of Teddy before they make their way back home.

I just hope they give us the green light to head home too.

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Only one more chapter to go guys!


	58. Chapter 58

Chapter 58…

2 years later

"Thanks, Hannah" I smile brightly as I make my way past her desk and towards my office with a list of all of the phone calls I've received through the day since I've been in meetings.

"No problem Ana…any plans this evening?" I smile as she asks and leans against my office door frame.

"Just heading home to spend time with Christian and Teddy, I think maybe even a take away might be in order…It's Teddy's birthday tomorrow so I have to do the balloons and things when he's finally asleep" I laugh thinking about it, he loved the balloons last year, "What about you?" .

"It's his birthday already? Oh my gosh, the years are flying by! and as for plans….I might head out for a couple of drinks but nothing special" She smiles.

"Don't remind me, I can't believe he's already two….you're more than welcome to come by tomorrow, it's only a small little thing but there'll be food…drinks" I smile.

"Thanks, Ana…Maybe I will"

"Why don't you head off early? We're pretty much done for today anyway and I can finish these calls on Monday….. go and Enjoy your night Hannah" I smile brightly.

"Really?" She smiles in surprise and I nod.

"Go on…" I gesture to the stairs and she eagerly starts to pack up her things. "Thanks, Ana, you're the best"

"Oh, I try" I laugh softly and watches her head off before heading into my office and grabbing my own things.

When I returned back to SIP after having Teddy, Mr. Roach gave me an amazing promotion where it's allowed me to do things for myself, find authors and publish what I want. Work from home and in the office, Publish things I think are going to make it and honestly? I've been doing pretty well.

Hannah as my assistant has been amazing and together we've made the best team SIP has had in a long time.

I gaze at the photo's surrounding my desk.

A picture of me and Christian at our wedding.

The picture I took of Teddy, Christian and I at the hospital only a few hours after he was born.

Teddy on his first birthday with a toothy grin looking down at a birthday candle.

I can't believe how far I've come.

How far we've come.

I can't believe that I have my own family, an amazing career, a husband who loves me, a son who's the most perfect little thing.

Each and every day I get excited to go home to them.

Christian and I decided to rotate the days to be with him so we don't have to rely on anyone else to take care of him.

That was something that was really important to me, especially the years before he starts school. I didn't want him passed around too many people, I wanted him to rely on Christian and me as much as possible.

I have been ever so grateful to Grace and Carrick and My Dad for taking him now and again so Christian and I can have a date night together.

As neither of us work on Sundays, with Christian having his own business and me being able to work from home, I took 4 days and Christian took 2.

Every Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday I stay home with Teddy and work from home, or I take him to work with me on important occasions.

Then Friday and Saturday Christian stays home with him while I head to SIP on our busiest days.

But we both always get home before 5 to ensure we're both there for his bedtime.

I always said I'd put Teddy before any work and Mr. Roach completely understood. He's an amazing boss.

It's truly been the most precious 2 years. Watching him grow, watching his first smile, hearing his first laugh, watching his first steps. So many memories.

I pack up my things and grab my bag making my leave for the day.

"Bye Mr. Roach! See you on Monday!"

"Bye Ana! Wish Happy Birthday to the little man for me!"

I laugh softly, Everyone at work loves it when I bring him to work with me, it's not very often but Teddy gets a bunch of attention off everyone when I do. He loves it and they love the distraction too.

"I will!" I call out as I head out the door and makes my way to my car.

I'm excited to get home to my boys.

I make my way and I pull up into our driveway.

I turn off the car and makes my way up the steps.

I can already hear the laughs and giggles coming from the gardens as I make my way through the house and to the back doors.

I love hearing and seeing them together, it completely melts my heart.

I stand in the doorway of the garden doors watching them, Christian chasing him around as his little legs move as fast as they can. He ends up falling on his butt from laughing way too hard.

It truly is an amazing sight.

I watch them for a while before I make my way down towards them.

"Teddy? Can you hear…." Christian smirks seeing me walking towards them, hearing my heels clicking against the concrete of the steps, Teddy's back is towards me as they're both sitting on the grass.

I walk a little closer and my heels continue to make a noise on the concrete.

I watch as Teddy looks up to Christian mumbling his little word trying to figure out what he can hear.

"Can you hear it, buddy? Who's that?" Christian ruffles his little tuft of hair.

Before Teddy even turns to see me he screams out "Mama!" And it completely melts my heart.

I giggle softly as Christian helps him to stand up on his little feet and he turns finally seeing me. His eyes light up in excitement, his little tiny lips curl into the brightest of little smiles.

"Mama!" His little legs take him as fast as they can possibly take him as he waddles his way over to me excitedly. I move further onto the grass so he hasn't got to come onto the concrete and I kneel down opening my arms for him. As soon as he reaches my arms I lift him up into the air and spins him around.

"There's my handsome baby…" I grin bringing him down to my chest and kisses all over his face making him laugh.

"Mama ome!" He wraps his arms around my neck and nuzzles against my shoulder.

These are the moments I live for. My heart completely melting.

"Yes baby, Mommy's home" I smile kissing his head and cuddles him close to me.

Christian stands making his way towards me and kisses me deeply.

"How's your day?" He whispers smiling against my lips.

"It's been good, how was yours?"

"It's been fun hasn't it Teddy?" He kisses the back of Teddy's head as he's cuddled into me and I giggle as Teddy nods against my shoulder looking up at Christian.

"Did you have fun with Daddy sweetheart?"

He nods again, "Eee a Dada pway"

"You and daddy played? Did you? What did you play?"

He points down towards the boat on the lake, Christian's latest buy.

It is a beautiful boat.

"On the boat?! Well, aren't you a lucky boy huh?" I tickle his tummy making him giggle and he nods squealing.

"Esss Mama!" He squeals more giggling.

Christian and I look at each other hearing his giggle and we both laugh softly, completely and utterly in awe of our perfect little man.

"I love you" Christian smiles down at me.

"I love you" I smile up at him and uses my free hand to gently cup his cheek and kiss him against gently.

Teddy giggles and nuzzles into my shoulder.

"Wuv ooo mama, wuv ooo dada" He giggles.

I pull away from Christian and my smile grows to the point I'm surprised my lips are still on my face.

My heart completely swooning and melting over him.

"We love you, sweetheart, so so so much" I smile more and Christian and I both kiss each of his cheeks making give him our another little giggle at us.

"Dada pway?" He looks to Christian again excitedly and points to the boat.

"What do you say, Mommy? Fancy a sunset boat trip?" Christian grins at me and I smile brightly.

"That sounds perfect, I'll just go and get dressed".

"eee elps mama?"

"Of course you can help me, baby…" I kiss the tip of his nose smiling.

"I'll get the boat ready" Christian kisses my head then Teddy's as I make my way back into the house and to our bedroom.

I open the closet smiling, holding Teddy on my hip.

"Okay baby, what shall Mommy wear?"

He rests his little head onto my shoulder as he gazes into the closet.

I smile stroking his little back, knowing he's missed me.

After a few seconds, he points towards a simple navy summer dress.

"That's perfect sweetheart, thank you" I smile kissing his cheek before moving him to sit on the bed and getting dressed, pulling on a pair of white pumps to go with it.

"Mama" He reaches up to me once I'm done and I willingly lift him back into my arms smiling and cuddles him tightly.

"You give the best cuddles," I say smiling down at him and strokes his little tuft of hair.

I watch him smile more as he cuddles further into me, a little tighter as he sucks his little thumb.

I think someone is getting tired.

I make my way back down cuddling him close and makes my way down to the lake.

Christian helps me up onboard and Teddy and I sit at the front of the boat as Christian steers us out into the water.

"Mama ishies!"

He points excitedly as we see them start to jump.

He's such a clever child for a two-year-old honestly, it must be all the books and stories we've read to him since the moment we brought him home. I'm so proud of him. He's exactly how Christian and I were, loves his little books and learning new things.

"Wow, look at those!" I gasp smiling and I move to stand so he can see them better.

He looks over excitedly watching them before he turns looking for Christian.

"Dada! ishies!"

"Fishies?! Oh wow! Let me come and see!" Christian says as he starts to slow the boat down and anchors us in place right in perfect view of where the sun will set.

He makes his way over to us and his arm moves around my waist from behind smiling and Teddy eagerly reaches up to him.

Christian takes him and holds him close and keeps his arm around me.

I smile gazing up at them both.

Seeing their amazing bond.

Christian is such an amazing father honestly, I truly am lucky that he's been the one to father my child.

Christian and Teddy both in conversation, I simply lean into Christian's embrace as I gaze up watching them.

It makes me reminisce our life together.

The moment he almost ran me over.

The moment he tried to stop me from Jack spiking my drink at that party.

Staying in his room even though no one ever had before.

All of the classes we spent together.

All of the small gazes we made towards each other then acted as nothing had happened.

The moment I found him in the library.

The moment he trusted me to tell me about his past.

The moment he told me about Elena.

The moment he beat the crap put of Jack when he laid his hands on me.

When he wanted me to be there for support when he told his family everything.

The pride I felt when he got a job.

The bigger amount of pride I felt when he became CEO.

When I got a job at Sip.

My promotion.

When he asked me to marry him.

When he told me he loved me for the first time.

Our first kiss.

The first time we made love.

Our wedding.

Our honeymoon.

The way he fought to make sure Jack wouldn't harm me.

The day I told him about Teddy.

The day Teddy was born.

The day we brought Teddy home.

Every date night we've had since.

My promotion.

Every moment spent cuddled up just the 3 of us on the sofa.

The nights where Teddy fell asleep between us in our bed.

The morning where I'd wake and Teddys curled up onto Christian's chest, both of them still asleep.

Teddy's first birthday.

Now his second.

It's been a hell of a rollercoaster ride with emotions, and it's all been worth it.

The time has flown, it's been an incredible journey for both of us.

Kate and Elliot finally got married, traveled the world and now they're expecting their very own little bundle of joy 5 months from now. So Teddy will have a little cousin to play with very very soon.

Mia became an amazing and well-known fashion designer in Paris.

Grace and Carrick still their amazing, bubbly and kind and caring selves.

My Dad still as protective, kind-hearted and helpful as always.

Teddy squeals excitedly when he points down to the fish surrounding the boat.

"I can't believe he's already two tomorrow"

"Neither can I…"I giggle and moves to lay my head on Christian's shoulder. "It's been the most amazing life so far" I smile resting my chin up and gazes up at him.

"Plenty more to come baby, plenty more to come" Christian smiles and gently strokes my cheek.

From the sweet and innocent college girl to a wife, a mother and career struck. My life has turned upside down. Completely and utterly flipped and turned upside down.

It's thanks to him.

I lean up kissing Christian gently and then Teddy's little cheek as we watch the sun go down.

My life, My husband, My Christian.

My family.

My Christian, My Teddy.

The End.

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And there you have it...

I just want to say a huge thank you to all the readers of this story and also the amazing people who left incredible reviews throughout all 58 chapters. I ended up with over 100k of viewers and honestly, I am a little overwhelmed by it. It's thanks to you guys I kept on going on and kept on writing. You all inspired me with your wonderful comments and it made me so grateful and proud. It's truly been an amazing journey writing all chapters and I hope you have all enjoyed the journey with me too.

But now, here's goodbye to this story and a hello to the next,...

Thankyou everyone!


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